Rish Outcast 283: All's Well That Ends Well

Inspired by Big Anklevich and Taylor Swift, Rish talks about some of his favorite unhappy endings.

Warning: Spoilers abound!

Timecodes (unreliable)

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) - 20:02

Halloween: Season of the Witch - 25:20

Se7en - 28:45

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Normal Again) - 31:05

Pet Sematary - 35:15

The Mist - 37:25

Planet of the Apes (1968) - 38:16

On Her Majesty's Secret Service - 42:35

The Descent - 44:44

Also, various Stephen King stories (The Jaunt, Gramma, The Mist), Big Anklevich stories, The Outer Limits, maybe more. 

If you want to download the episode, Right-Click HERE.

If you want to support me on Patreon, click HERE.

If you want to hear the whole Taylor Swift song, go HERE.

Logo by Gino "All's Swell" Moretto.

(I published this at 7:07 on 7/7)

Post-Buffy post (and Top Five list)

So, I guess I could look back on the series and decide what my ten favourite episodes would be.

1. Once More With Feeling (Season 6)
2. Innocence (Season 2)
3. Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered (Season 2)
4. Hush (Season 4)
5. The Prom (Season 3)
6. Dopplegangland (Season 2)
7. Tabula Rasa (Season 6)
8. Becoming Part II (Season 2)
9. The Zeppo (Season 3)
10. Fool For Love (Season 5)

"The Body" really ought to be on the list, but it's just not one I enjoyed, you know what I mean? I might not even watch it again, or starting to watch it, I might turn it off. I also had "Earshot," "The Gift," and "Who Are You?" on my short list, and might have come up with more if left to my own devices.I thought I'd do a "Buffy"-related Top Five list or two, and
asked tyranist and Evil Cousin Ryan for their Top Five Buffy Characters.

Mine could possibly be:
1. Xander
2. Giles
3. Willow
4. Spike
5. Angelus

I probably would have put Anya Jenkins on the list, but for some reason, I grew to quite hate her in the last thirty episodes or so. Too bad.

Tyranist said (though his math may be off):
1. Buffy
2. Giles
3. Xander
4. Willow
5. Anya
5. Dawn

Ryan said (though he had the caveat of that they were in no order and only based on seasons one through five):
Anya
Giles
Spike
Xander
Faith

Having said that, there seems no point in figuring out winners this time around. Maybe I'll let the Top Fives lay fallow for a while.

Rish

Buffy Season 1 . . . point five?

I was looking up the various failed "Buffy" spin-offs on Monday, hoping for a little good news. And I got it, sort of. It seems that the presentation reel made in 2005 for the "Buffy Animated Series" had somehow been leaked onto YouTube last month, and it was the first I'd heard of it.

Of course, the bad news was that the show was never picked up, as Fox's venue for the show (Fox Kids, I think it was called) went away, and no one else wanted it. Jeph Loeb was going to be the showrunner, and in all the times I've talked with him, I never thought to ask him about this show.

They got as far as making a short pilot, which I'll post below, and nearly all the cast had signed on to voice their characters (including Charisma Carpenter, Kristine Sutherland, and Armin Shimmerman), with only Sarah Michelle Gellar being the holdout. It was supposed to take place during the first season of BTVS, with David Boreanaz voicing Angel and Michelle Trachtenberg somehow voicing Dawn.*

Boy, that's some good stuff.

I'm not really that big a fan of cartoons, but I laughed aloud while watching this, and absolutely can't wait to show it to my sister's seven year old. The possibilities a show like this would have offered are--or rather, were pretty darn limitless, and I can't see how on earth this animated series could have failed.

Except by not being made at all.

Well, at least we can see this much, and feel even worse than we did before. But there's a minuscule chance that, now that it's available to see, someone somewhere will decide this show is exactly what they've been looking for, and give it a home.

I can hope that something like that could happen.

And while I'm at it, I'd really like to be a staff writer for the show. I can already see a last-day-of-school evil yearbook episode and a glimpse at a pre-Slayer Faith interlude in my head. Tyranist showed me a comic that revealed how Dawn first discovered her sister was a superhero, and that would be a natural to throw into this show. And I doubt anyone's written a first encounter between Miss Calendar and Angel now that we know her true connection to the man.

I'd better stop before I actually get a pen and start writing these down.

Rish "Future Staff Writer With Cool Made-Up Title" Outfield

*I think setting it in early Season Two (before "Surprise" and "Innocence") would work better, 'cause Cordelia would know about Buffy's powers, and you could have Spike and Drusilla occasionally pop up, or even Kendra, if you wanted to go that way.

The Last Buffy Wednesday (17 September)

So, despite my constant stalling and feet-dragging, tyranist and I finally reached the last two episodes of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

First up was "End of Days," written by Jane Espenson and Douglas Petrie. I would've expected Marti Noxon to handle this one, but she's not been writing them this season (unless he works on all of them the way Joss usually does).

So, Buffy pulls the weapon (which we'll call The Scythe, because that's what I think it's called) out of the stone, signifying that she is to wield Excalibur. That is why I am your king. Immediately, Caleb is afraid, but the First (still in Buffy guise) has him reveal to Buffy that the others were just blown up in a trap in the sewers. Buffy goes after them.

At the site of the explosion (which, apparently, was seen on television but has been deleted from the DVD release*), a couple of the girls are dead, but Skinny Amanda and Kennedy come to and pull Faith's unconscious (but still amazingly alive) body out from under the water and carry her to safety.**

They're not safe for long, though, as an Ubervamp shows up, snarling at them. The girls think just maybe they can take it on if they work together, but two more appear, and they begin to doubt. But then, Buffy also appears, her cool Scythe in hand, and she slices and dices those Ubervamps into dust-flavoured julian fries.

Buffy takes Faith and the girls back to her house, and they apologise for kicking her out the way they did. Buffy blames it on the writers and forgives them, then goes to Giles and Willow and shows them her new weapon. They do some computer research on it while Buffy goes up to see how Faith is doing.

There's something about the Scythe weapon that the Slayers comment on when they touch it, it feels like it belongs to them, and it may help Faith recover. I'm fairly certain this is the weapon Melanka Fray wields in Joss's "Fray" comic book, which tyranist let me read. Faith is bummed that she let the girls down, or let Buffy down, or let herself down, and Buffy makes her feel better.

Then she goes down to the basement and does the same for Spike, telling him how much she appreciated his words to her the night before and staying by her side like that. He mentions that it was the most intimate he had ever been with anyone, and there was no sex involved. And I'm reminded of the old Arab proverb that says when the beast looked upon beauty and beauty stayed his hand, he was as one dead.

Buffy also goes and gives Xander a speech about how important he is, and the special task she's given him. He doesn't want to do whatever it is, and wants to fight at Buffy's side for the last episode, but she convinces him to do it.

Not long after, Xander and Dawn go out to his car to look for something (it might have been a crossbow, as Dawn mentions she doesn't like crossbows after what happened to Miss Kitty Fantastico), and he puts a chloroform rag over her mouth, knocking her out so he can drive her out of Sunnydale and to safety.

Dawn awakens as they're driving, and Xander gives her the letter Buffy wrote to her. Before she finishes the letter, she pulls out a taser and zaps poor Xander with it, the car spins out of control, and both of them die in flames and broken glass.

Oh wait, that's probably what should have happened, but no, he just passes out and she is somehow able to drive from the passenger side, turning the car around and heading back to Sunnydale.

Caleb and the First Evil have a conversation, where he's really contrite for having failed her/it (I call it "her" because she always looks like Buffy now). To make it up to her, or maybe because it's just kinky, he offers to let the First enter into his body, so it can feel and touch and experience puppy-throttling first-hand. This never really goes anywhere (at least that I remember), but it was an interesting concept, and I've got to give it to both Nathan Fillion and Sarah Gellar that despite their more-iconic personas, they were both convincingly scary.

Andrew and Anya have gone to the grocery store, which was abandoned, and grabbed lots of free food. They get the idea to go to the hospital and do the same, because cafeterias always have the best jello. No, actually, it's because there will be plenty of medical supplies for the taking.

They go there, and Anya tells Andrew about the impending apocalypse in Season Three, and how she got the hell out of town, but this time, she's going to stay there, because she's gotten to understand human beings enough to know that there are some things worth fighting for, maybe even dying for. I guess this scene shows us how much she has grown as a person from when she was first introduced. And from that day on, she was as one dead.

I'm not really sure how Giles and Willow's research leads Buffy to the cemetery, but she goes there and actually enters the pyramid-shaped crypt that's been in the background of, oh, half of all the episodes. Inside, she finds a woman who mentions that she's from an organisation older than the Watchers that also try to help the Slayer line. You see, back in the Beginning of Days, when the African shadow dudes created the first Slayer, they made sure there was only one at a time, so that they couldn't team up and rule the men or something (it's kind of like the Sith rules in the Prequels), but it doesn't have to be that way. With that Scythe weapon, Buffy could actually--

But urk, before the woman can finish her exposition, Father Caleb appears behind her and snaps her neck. Serves her right for not having a penis, right?

Caleb fights Buffy, and I'm going to say that he's even faster and stronger than he was before, now that he has the First Evil in him (it might not have been true, but it makes the story better). In fact, he manages to throw Buffy down and take the Scythe away from her. Before he can deliver the killing blow, however, a fist comes out of nowhere and knocks Caleb to the ground.

Who could it be?

My niece couldn't guess, but she hadn't seen "Special Guest Star David Boreanaz" at the beginning of the episode, giving things away like I thought they had learned to avoid.Buffy kisses Angel, and it's like no time has passed. But we see that Spike was there too, maybe hanging back to give Buffy aid if she needed it (or maybe because it was just written that way in the script), and the First Evil reminds him (and us, as if we needed reminding) that she's never gonna feel for him what she feels for Angel. The end.

This wasn't much of an actual episode, really, so much as it was a set up for the series finale, which I'll just go on to right now.

"Chosen" is the last episode of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," and they got some nobody named Whedon to write and direct it. I was really hoping for one of those writers who worked on one episode back in Season One to do the last one. Ah well.

It begins immediately after Buffy and Angel's reunion, with Caleb getting back up (I guess he was stabbed too), black blood oozing from his eyes. Buffy tells Angel that this is her fight, so he steps back and watches her move. I guess Spike has buggered off by this point.

Caleb strikes again, and Buffy battles him before swinging her weapon and axing him right in the crotch for it. Uncomfortable, ain't it? It was also uncomfortable to describe that to my seven year old, but she didn't seem to mind so much.

Buffy slices Caleb in two, leaving him finally and truly dead. Now that they're alone again, Angel tells Buffy why he came (besides the fact that it's the end of the series and he needs to cameo): someone in Los Angeles knew of Buffy's upcoming battle and gave Angel an amulet/necklace thing that is destined to be carried by someone who's more than human but has gained a soul. Buffy knows who it's for, and Angel offers to fight alongside her--which might have been interesting, no?--but Buffy tells him to gather his forces in L.A. to stop the outflow of evil in case she fails.

Angel then leaves, but not before a romantic moment of contemplation of a future together that should have been irritating, but only served to show that Spike simply can't fit into Buffy's heart, when two-thirds of it are permanently roped off for Angel's return.

Buffy comes back to her house and finds Dawn waiting for her there, upset at Buffy's attempt to protect her. Buffy goes to the basement, where Spike is whacking a punching bag he's drawn Angel's face onto. She gives him the amulet and he dismisses her, still angry about what he witnessed. But he's quick to give up on his anger when it looks like she's actually going to leave. We don't know what happens next (Joss says it's up to the viewer to decide if they talked, fought, had sex, or just did that sleeping thing they did two episodes ago), but when the sun comes up, Buffy leaves his side and starts upstairs.

She is met by Father Caleb, and then by herself, both guises of the First Evil. It tells her to run away while she still can, and Buffy tells the First to get out of her face. Which, I didn't realise until later, was a pun. She decides that, because the First told her to flee, it's afraid she will win.

Buffy rallies everybody together, and explains her plan, which includes going to the high school and opening up the Hellmouth seal themselves. Willow is going to cast a spell, and she's really nervous about it. She tells Kennedy that it's the biggest spell she's ever cast, and asks her to kill her if she becomes Dark Willow in the process. Kennedy agrees . . . and you know, if I ever become Dark Outfield again, I'd like you to kill me too.

Or at least try.

Principal Wood and Faith have a scene together, where she tries to brush him off the way she does all her sexual partners. He promises to surprise her before this is all over.

So, daytime arrives, and they all go to the high school in a school bus (Spike goes too, but hides under his coat). Buffy, Xander, Willow, and Giles have a nostalgic moment before going their separate ways. Everyone has their orders. Willow and Kennedy are casting a spell on the Scythe in the principal's office, Giles and Wood are guarding the main exit to the Hellmouth, Xander and Dawn are guarding a secondary exit, Anya and Andrew are guarding a tertiary exit, Wesley and Cordelia are on another show, and everybody else is going down into the basement to attack.

All the girls cut their hands and use their own blood to open the seal, which leads to a gigantic underground cave, where Saruman's forces mine and pull down trees and make weapons. Well, actually, they're thousands of Ubervamps that waste no time spotting the intruders and attacking in all their terrible, CGI glory.

Upstairs, Willow casts a spell on the Scythe, and we find out what Buffy's plan was: using the essence of the Slayer weapon, Willow is going to activate every single Potential on earth. Literally every girl who COULD be a Slayer will become a Slayer.

Willow's power grows and overtakes her, but instead of turning all black and veiny, her hair goes white and she becomes a much less-frightening version of Galadriel in that movie series I've already referred to a little too much. I guess she was able to tap into positive, white magic, or maybe just the positive white part of herself.

Kennedy and the other Potentials become Slayers in a burst of light (and I just realised we've never seen this moment before). All across the globe, girls receive an unbelievable amount of power***, and down under the seal, the battle begins in earnest, with our girls able to kill Ubervamps right and left, as hundreds more arrive to take each fallen's place.

Kennedy arrives underground, hacking and slashing Ubervamps with the Scythe. She passes it to Buffy, who ends up getting stabbed and passing it to Faith while she recovers. The Ubervamps skitter and leap, managing to take down a couple of the ex-Potentials, including poor skinny Amanda.

A couple of Ubervamps make it past the girls to reach the surface, but Giles and Principal Wood battle them. Several Bringers also fight, and Xander, Dawn, Andrew, and Anya fight those. Unfortunately, one Bringer manages to kill Anya, cutting her almost in half. An Ubervamp skewers Principal Wood before Giles can kill it, but the damage is done.

The First Evil appears in Buffy's form to taunt her, and Buffy stands again, knocking ubervamps into the air in another LOTR-like scene. Spike wears the amulet he was prophesied to wear, and it begins to glow. It sends a burst of energy upward, punching a hole into the ceiling and into the daylight. Then, a huge ray of sunshine comes down, prisming in the amulet and turning all the Ubervamps in the caves to dust.

The cavern walls begin to crumble, and Buffy orders her army to flee. Spike stands there, bathed in sunlight, yet somehow still alive, but his skin begins to crackle and char from the exposure. Buffy takes his hand and tells him she loves him. His hand bursts into flames, and he says, "No you don't." He smiles and thanks her for saying it, then he turns to dust.

Upstairs, everyone is running for the schoolbus, while the school falls down around them. Xander tries to get Anya, who is lying just a couple of feet away, but can't find her. Everyone, including Principal Wood, manage to board the bus, and it takes off without Buffy.

Buffy gets out of the school via the roof, and runs along its rooftop, then onto the Sunnydale main street, trying to catch up with the bus. Behind her, the entire town of Sunnydale collapses into the earth. Finally, Buffy jumps from the Sun Theater onto the bus and holds on until it gets to safety.

On the outskirts of town, the bus stops. Everyone gets out to look at the gigantic crater that used to be their town. Xander asks Andrew what happened with Anya, and Andrew tells him she sacrificed her life to save his. This gives Xander comfort for some reason, and it's a nice moment.

Within the bus, the dying Principal Wood asks Faith if they made it, and she tries to comfort him too. He goes still, and when she reaches to close his eyes, he blinks and says, "Surprise." Also a nice moment.

The main group stands together, looking at the crater and contemplating their loss. Giles suggests they go to Cleveland, where the other Hellmouth is, and when Dawn asks her sister what they'll do now, Buffy starts to smile. The end.

Well, there you go. The end of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." Unless you read the comics, or dream of a world where it goes on forever.

I gotta say, I didn't find myself nearly as moved--or satisfied--by this series finale as much as I did the one on the WB ("The Gift"), or even last year's season finale ("Grave"). I don't know if it genuinely wasn't as good an episode (though I vote for no), or if I just built it up in my head, and maybe expected too much.

Even with all the fan outcry about Season Six being too depressing or dark or unpleasant, I think it was a better year than Season Seven was. That's just me, of course.

But the series itself, taken as a big astounding whole, is more than amazing. My cousin and I spent a night recently, trying to name our favourite episodes from each season, and were shocked each time one of us came up with another truly awesome episode the other hadn't remembered. With "Firefly," the show I continually refer to as the best television show ever made, it's easy to remember each and every episode, and perhaps it was easier for Joss to keep the quality up, since he basically knew it was doomed from the start. But with "Buffy," where the year stretches out beyond December, and the years stretch out beyond that, it has to be a monumental task to stay focused and stay enthusiastic and stay creative and stay excited and stay inspired. And, even though I complained a bit about episodes I found weak, or storylines that went where I didn't want them (or worse, went nowhere), that's not what I'll remember when I think of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

I'll probably think of tyranist and me, in his living room, week after week, watching something funny, scary, romantic, exciting, depressing, and unique, and letting it carry us away. I doubt Wednesdays will ever be the same.

Rish Buffy Outfield

*I checked out the TV version, just to see, and yeah, there are about two seconds of extra footage, the explosion, bodies flying, that the DVD didn't have.

**Weird that it took a heck of a lot less than this to kill Buffy the first time, but Faith appears to be part Terminator.

***With an infinite number of new Slayers created, with absolutely no preamble or explanation, training, or a Watcher to help guide them, I can't help but wonder how many Faiths, Dark Willows, Anyankas, and Glorificuses were just loosed on the world. But hey, I'm happy for the cute kid at bat who got to knock one out of the park.

Buffy Wednesday Continued

Tyranist and I continued watching "Buffy" well beyond the usual two, three, or even four episodes we usually take in on a Wednesday. He said he was willing to stay up until three if it meant getting through them all. That sort of dedication should be lauded, but instead, I detest myself for my weakness.

Next up was "Dirty Girls," written by Drew CLOVERFIELD Goddard and Joss WONDER WOMAN R.I.P. Whedon. It begins with a new Potential running through the woods, being chased by Bringers. She runs into the street and is picked up by a pickup truck (hence the name, I guess), being driven by a young man dressed as a priest. He's got Nathan Fillion's face, but speaks with the creepy cadence of a Southern preacher.

His name is Father Caleb, and he seems supportive for about two seconds before he begins commenting on the corruption of this generation, especially young women, and refers to her as a whore. The Potential tries to get out of the truck, but the door handle's been removed (surely for this very reason). He's got a ring on his finger that he holds up to the cigarette lighter . . . and then to her neck. It burns a gross symbol onto her, and he tells her to go to the Slayer and give her a message. Then he stabs her in the stomach and tosses her out onto the road.

The next car to come along is Willow and Faith, coming back from L.A.. They pick up the girl and take her to the hospital, where Willow stays with her. Faith goes to the cemetery to find Buffy, and the first thing she finds is Spike attacking a girl. She fights with Spike until he tells her that he knows who she is. She knows who he is too, and he insists they're on the same side. She tells him she's not bad anymore and Buffy comes out and defends Spike. There's a beautifully surreal moment where Faith wonders if somehow Buffy has gone bad, and that makes her the Good Slayer now, but when she sees that the girl Spike was chasing is a vampire (and stakes her), she puts two and two together.*

Apparently there are too many Potentials to stay at Buffy's and many are at Xander's place, and have never felt the touch of a man. Or maybe that's just a dream.

Buffy takes Faith back to her own house, where she greets Dawn with recognition (I wonder what they're relationship was like). Pretty much everyone there eyes her with distrust, but there's a lot of that going around, as Buffy looks at Giles that way too.

Caleb is headquartered in a big wine cellar at a vineyard on the outskirts of town, and the First Evil appears to him, looking like Buffy. He was the one, it seems, who blew up the Watchers Council, and he appears to have deep-seated and unapologetic issues with women. For example, he asks the First Evil to take the form of pretty young things he's killed over the years, so that he can relive their murders. The First has found a real match made in heaven with this guy.

For the uninitiated, Andrew explains Faith's history of violence and unpredictability, culminating in her unprovoked attack on poor Mister Spock. The Potentials point out that it was a vulcanologist, not a Vulcan, but I think the point is made.

Faith goes down to the basement for a cigarette (see, she's still bad!), and finds Spike there. She mentions that she met him once before while she was in Buffy's body, and there seems to be some kind of chemistry between them. Of course Buffy comes in at that point, but I didn't really want to see Faith and Spike hook up. I'm not sure who I'd like to see Faith hook up with. Kennedy maybe.

Buffy goes to work, and Principal Wood tells her she's fired. Guess that first date could've gone better. Maybe she should've considered putting out.

Actually, Principal Wood thinks Buffy should focus on her real job, which is protecting the world from demons and vampires, and lets her know that the high school might not be open much longer anyway.

Buffy goes to the hospital to see Shannon, the downed Potential. Willow points out the symbol burned into her neck (and isn't in this episode much, probably 'cause she was off making the "Angel" crossover). The message Caleb had for Buffy is that he has something of hers.

Well, Buffy wants to find out what it is (she thinks it might be another girl, and Giles thinks it might be a stapler), so she and Faith follow a Bringer back to its lair, which is in the vineyard. There's some tension between them (not sexual this time), and Faith asks if she'd rather she weren't there. I'm not sure if Buffy can see how she's become abrasive and is pushing people away, but she does thank Faith for being there (and I get the impression Faith has a pretty thick skin, I wish I could've seen what her relationship with her Watcher was like).

Knowing where Caleb is holed-up, Buffy tells the Potentials they're going to go in there in-force, and do as much killing as is necessary to get back what he took. The girls are scared and many of them have never been tested in battle. Giles thinks they need a better plan than that, but Buffy is set in her plan.

Later, Xander gives the nervous girls a much more effective speech, where he tells them how great Buffy is and that she's died saving the world twice and they owe her their loyalty. It was lovely, and Faith artfully undercuts it with "Damn, I never knew you were so cool."

So, Buffy, Spike, and Faith take the strongest Potentials (and Xander) to the vineyard, leaving Xander and Faith to guard the door in case it's a trap. Well, there's plenty of Bringers there, and the fight is on, but once Caleb steps out . . . it's fair to say the fight is finished.

This guy is unbelievably powerful, and takes Buffy out with one deft move, smashing her against the wall. He mocks the idea of goodness and Slayers in general, and I NEVER would have believed Nathan Fillion could be so scary. I love the dude, and have remarked on the several times I've seen him in person that he's kind of goofy-looking, but wow, Caleb is a truly chilling being. He grins while attacking, headbutting Spike and smashing him into a wine barrel. He backhands Kennedy unconscious, snaps Rona The Potential With Tude's arm like a dry branch, and does the same to another Potential's neck. Faith fares a little better, getting a few punches in before she's down for the count. He preaches constantly, having a gay old time, and before Buffy can recover and fight him a second time, he kills Molly the Cockney Potential with her own knife. Buffy does manage to knock Caleb down, and everybody moves to retreat.

Xander helps Kennedy to her feet, but is grabbed by Caleb. He recognises Xander as "the one who sees everything," and sticks his thumb in Xander's eye, popping it like a bloody grape. Spike pushes Caleb out of the way and Buffy grabs Xander and gets him out of there. Caleb just watches, smirking, and does not follow.

The survivors are battered and bruised, and obviously Buffy feels responsible. Caleb boasts to the First Evil about how easy it all was, and that he'll kill them all before the end. Buffy goes walking alone, the weight of the world she normally carries even heavier than usual. The end.

This one, my friends, had the darkest ending since . . . well, probably since the Dark Willow stuff, if not the Buffy-finds-her-mom-on-the-couch show. And it's weird, the Xander eye thing was just inexpressibly horrible. I knew, too, that at some point in the series he started wearing an eyepatch, but until it happened, I had completely forgotten about it.

And I don't know if it was because it was Xander or because it's an eye (hey, we've all been poked in the eye before and know how sensitive that is), but it was a moment that just bothered the hell out of me. When I related it to my niece (as she insists I do every Saturday when I see her), I was emotional in describing the scene to her** and she gasped, "So Xander died?"

No, he didn't die, but the eye thing is a permanent mutilation that, well, it's just one of those things that we've not seen a lot of, and I'm grateful for it.

Again, we probably should have quit there (we both had a lot of stuff to watch, and we've completely abandoned "Twin Peaks," which I was so keen on watching through just a few weeks ago), but tyranist wanted to continue, and I didn't even try to stop him.

The next episode was called "Empty Places," written by Drew Z. Greenberg, and begins with the people of Sunnydale quickly packing up and clearing out of town. Even Clem, Spike's floppy demon friend, is in the line of cars headed out. Buffy encounters him while on her long walk, and he suggests she leave too...the apocalypse is really coming this time.

Willow and Giles get everything the police have on Father Caleb, and when they leave, the cops--influenced by the Hellmouth and itching to do some violence--decide to go after the escaped prisoner who has apparently been seen in Sunnydale.

Willow sits beside Xander in the hospital, holding his hand, and just being there for him. He makes light of the situation, but it's all Willow can do to not break down. It's a great moment, and Buffy comes by to get the paperwork, but leaves to give it to the others, leaving them alone.

The Potentials are really freaked now that Caleb is going to get them all. Buffy thinks the police information might help, but she's becoming increasingly tired and humourless. Kennedy wonders how Caleb was able to render Buffy "useless in just one punch," but regrets saying it. Buffy gets up and leaves the house.

She goes to the high school (now closed) and packs up her desk. And Caleb walks in, mocking her tears. The guy is just as bad as it gets, kids. He tells Buffy that history is going to remember these days, and the role Buffy played in the changing world. When Buffy tries to fight him, he simply picks her and throws her through the window, then goes his way.

Giles and Dawn are doing research, and he sees the symbol of Caleb's brand in one of them. There's a church up north that was suddenly abandoned, and asks Spike to go there an investigate. Giles's reasoning is that Spike's the only one strong enough to handle himself if there's trouble (though I believe there's a second Slayer around with just as much history of following Giles's orders). Because Andrew is still annoying, he sends him along with Spike.

Seeing how stressed out the girls are, Faith takes them to the Bronze, where they party it up and dance and drink. A group of cops come in and arrest Faith (who all the girls now love).

When Buffy staggers home--the poor girl claims to have actually enjoyed being knocked unconscious for the rest it gave her--Giles tells her where he sent Spike (she's unhappy with that decision) and where Faith took the girls (ditto that). She goes back out into the night to get them for another attack on Caleb Manor.

Faith "resists arrest" and ends up getting billy clubbed by several cops, but she and the other girls start beating them up. Buffy walks up just as the last cop goes down. Of course she accuses Faith of being irresponsible, and Faith reminds her of the vineyard incident in return.

Spike and Andrew ride Spike's motorcycle to the abandoned church and are attacked by a priest who's hiding there. He has that Caleb mark burned on his cheek and explains that Caleb was there a while back and discovered an inscription on a secret wall in the church. The priest ran and hid while Caleb killed all the other priests there. The inscription reads "It is not for thee, but for her alone to wield."

Principal Wood meets Faith when she goes back to Buffy's, and they discover they have a thing or two in common. Xander comes in (with Willow and Anya), and pretty much the whole gang is gathered to hear Buffy's announcement: they're going to go to the vineyard again and attack Caleb. She's convinced that there's something there he's protecting, his power center, and that needs to be knocked out.

But nobody agrees with her. First it's Faith, then Wood, then Giles, then Rona, then Kennedy, all telling her the plan (or she herself) is flawed. Even Willow says she's worried about Buffy's judgment, and then Anya throws in a particular grimy pair of cents that Buffy always thinks she's better than everybody else, but she's not.

Of course we turn to Xander to clear everything up, and after last week's "up with Buffy" speech, you know he'll know what to say. But he isn't with her either. Rona the Potential with Tude thinks Faith should be in charge, and Kennedy thinks there should be a vote. But Buffy won't stand for any vote, and looks around for someone to see it her way (or at least to see reason). Nobody gives on this (you'd think Giles could at least say, "We'll come up with a plan, we'll do some research and find Caleb's weakness, or at least wait until Spike comes back to find out if he learned anything we can use," but he--and everyone else--just stares at the floor while Buffy feels betrayed), and finally Dawn stands up and tells Buffy that it's her house too, and "I need you to leave."

Buffy tells Faith to protect the girls and walks out into the night. The end.

Again with the dark, sober unpleasant endings. Now, tyranist was pretty sure that Buffy's plan was exactly what Caleb wanted her to do, in order to kill more of the girls or I don't know what.*** I wasn't so sure, and it was really hard to watch people (including the other three core characters) turn their back on her in that moment.

I guess it's natural for people to argue or disagree, but it always bothers me when it happens on "Buffy." I don't know why, but that's probably the main reason I didn't like "Dead Man's Party" or any of the inner-strife episodes from Seasons 5 and 6. It may be that I've just grown too close to these characters, and am now thinking of them as real friends of mine. And it sucks to see your friends fight.

Tyranist didn't think that was a good note to end the night on (and he was probably right), so we went on to the next disc . . . the last disc of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

Only three more to go, and the first of those was "Touched," written by Rebecca Rand Kirshner.

Everybody at Buffy's house is arguing and trying to talk over each other. Faith suggests that they gets some rest and think about things tomorrow.

All over Sunnydale, people are packing up and leaving town. Buffy walks through the night until she goes into an abandoned house to sleep. Turns out it's not abandoned, but she tells the owner to leave.

Andrew and Spike are stuck in the church when the sun comes up, and as much as he'd like to get back and help Buffy, they apparently have no cellphones or transportation (other than his motorcycle).

The second Potential town meeting goes as badly as the first, with everyone arguing about what they should do next. Kennedy is particularly hostile, and thank M. Night Shyamalan that Rona the Tude Queen isn't there to make me want to shed blood. Finally Faith tells everyone to shut up, that they put her in charge and she's giving the orders now. Her plan is to capture a Bringer and find out what it knows about the First Evil's weaknesses.

They use Kennedy as bait and capture one of the three Bringers that go after her (good thing it wasn't Caleb or an Ubervamp, huh?), killing the other two. Unfortunately, Bringers have no tongues.

Dawn thinks they should cast a spell to read its mind, and Willow gathers the ingredients. Spike and . . . the other one return and he asks where Buffy is. They stutter through an explanation of what happened, and he calls them a bunch of ungrateful traitors and a couple other colourful insults. He and Faith have a fight nearly as pointless as the ones from the MATRIX sequels.

Spike leaves, but smells her out, going down the block to find her. He finds her upstairs in the house she appropriated, lying in bed. He disses Faith and the others, and tells her what he learned at the church. She finds no comfort there. He tells her Caleb is hiding something at the vineyard, but Buffy is sort of broken. He tells her she's not one to give up, and the others took something from her, but she can take it back.

Willow casts the spell on the Bringer, and it begins to talk through Andrew. He explains that the Bringers are preparing the way for the inevitable war, working to destroy the Slayer line, storing up weapons for the battle, and obey their mop-topped leader Caleb. They make it elaborate about the weapons stockpile and it begins to wax poetic about how many of them there are out there. Giles cuts the Bringer's throat, and I have to wonder if he was just frustrated, foolish, or if that was genuinely all the Bringer had to tell them.

They figure out where the Bringer was talking about and Faith plans on going there tomorrow morning. As soon as she's alone in her room, the First appears to her in the form of the Mayor. He tells her what a good job she's doing and how smart she was to kick Buffy out. It's weird, 'cause the First Mayor is pretty much exactly the way the real Mayor was, affectionate, oddly old-fashioned, even-tempered, and yet a bad guy. He tells Faith that she took what Buffy wanted (respect, leadership, big hair), and she'll use it as an excuse to kill her.

Spike tries to explain to Buffy that she can't give up. She tells him she's tired, and she never gets close to people because she always has to stand alone. He talks about how he sees her, how she's the only thing he's ever been sure of in his long unlife full of mistakes and bad decisions. He tells her he loves her and that she's a hell of a woman, and to get some rest. She tells him to stay with her and hold her, and he does.

Principal Wood hears Faith talking to herself and asks if she's alright. She brushes him off, afraid of looking vulnerable, then tells him it was the First. They exchange experiences and fears, and he tells her nobody wants to be alone, that everybody wants to be touched. And then they start touching, and I mean in a ask-the-kids-to-go-to-their-rooms sort of way.

Kennedy maneuvers it so that she and Willow get a romantic night alone as well, and it gets all kissy and stuff too. Willow is afraid of letting loose, that she'll lose control. But Kennedy tells her to trust her and just let go, and I guess she does. There's a great deal of groping and kissing in the scene, and I'd say more, but I might start to blush. And we can't have that.

Downstairs, Xander and Anya hear all the sex going on around them and are jealous. So they do it too. Seems there's just something in the air, and I told tyranist I prayed Giles and Andrew didn't end up in a room together.

Spike just holds Buffy, and it seems to be exactly what she needs.

The First Evil (looking like Buffy) sees all that's going on, and while Caleb dismisses it as sins of the flesh and all that, she wishes she could touch and be touched. For about a quarter of a second, I almost pity the First. Then it says it wishes it could take some innocent neck and feel what that's like to snap it.

The next morning, Spike awakens to find Buffy gone, a note (that we don't get to read) in her place. Buffy has gone to the vineyard, where she surprises Caleb (and the First), asking what he has that belongs to her. He tries to fight her, but she just stays out of his way, Spider-manning around while he punches and kicks walls, wine barrels, and the air. As far as I remember, he doesn't lay a hand on her, and she discovers a trapdoor leading down below the wine cellar.

She slips through it and finds some sort of . . . blade weapon device thing halfway imbedded in stone there. Perhaps the Excalibur for Slayers?

Elsewhere, Faith takes a few of the Potentials to the sewers, where the Bringers have their arsenal. It turns out to be a trap, and several Bringers pop out, fighting our girls. The girls hold their own . . . but that wasn't the trap. The trap was the cache of explosives and the timer counting down right in front of them. The end.

Well, that was interesting. And another cliffhanger.

Tyranist said we couldn't quit there, and was more than willing to sacrifice a night of sleep and stay up till two or three if he had to to get through it all. I've got to say that it's just a curly black hair short of a bona fide miracle that we didn't finish the whole series tonight. I had to practically beg to get tyranist to--you know what, I DID beg. I begged him to give me one more night, like the Phil Collins song. One more Buffy Wednesday, which we could celebrate in style, making an evening of it, and watch the retrospect documentaries afterward.

And I could tell he wasn't happy about it, but somehow I got through to him and he turned it off. A couple days later he told me he was just going to watch it all himself, but I seriously doubted he would. He's had the DVDs for years and not watched them.

Because I knew there was no way he'd let me postpone "The Last Buffy Wednesday" another week or two, I did what I could to finish up these blog posts before the week was through. As it stands, I've got about ten minutes before it's time to head for his place.

Maybe I can stretch that to twenty.

Rish Outfield

*Hey, I love Faith, really, but I wonder sometimes if she could put one and one together.

**She seven and has never seen "Firefly." Sadly, I think Caleb loses a bit of his menace when I describe him as "The guy who plays Captain Hammer."

***Sure enough, he mentions as much to the First Evil, sure that Buffy will come running like a veal to the slaughter.

Buffy Wednesday (10 September 2008)

Tyranist and I got together with the plan to watch two, maybe three episodes of BTVS. We certainly didn't intend to finish out the show (although I wouldn't put it past tyranist . . . he really does have the brain of a supervillain), but almost did just that.

So, here I stand (sit, actually), at the edge of the end of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." My cousin, six or seven months ago, proclaimed it to be the greatest TV show of all time, and I don't know how much weight that carries (considering his number two seems to be "The Power Puff Girls"), but I've been pretty inclined to agree with him.

I've been pretty lax when it comes to the Whedon Wednesday blogging lately, usually finishing up each post two weeks after starting it, but I promise to work harder on this one, and get it in sooner, if not better, than the last few.

So I'm starting early (as in, early in the morning), just a few minutes after arriving home from tyranist's, moving my bowels, and checking my email.

First up in our viewing schedule was "Get It Done," written and directed by Doug Petrie. I have to be completely honest and admit that I actually blogged about the next episode first, having forgotten that I ever even saw this one. Maybe I should go to Wikipedia first thing every time instead of at the end to find out our writer and such.

This episode begins with a dream in which Buffy is warned by the First Slayer (yeah, her again) that what she's doing is not enough. She welcomes Principal Wood into her cadre, team, whatever we're calling it, and she also appears to have gained another half dozen Potential Slayers.

Kennedy seems to have been put in charge of training the Potentials when Buffy's not around, and the authority appears to have gone to her head. She's become a rather attractive drill sergeant, shouting orders, demanding push-ups, and calling one girl--with the awful name Chloe--"a maggot." I thought it was pretty sweet.

Unfortunately, Chloe goes upstairs and hangs herself. Kennedy regrets her actions, but the First Evil appears again--this time in the form of Chloe--and tells the other girls to follow her lead, that suicide is a much better way to go out than it has planned for them. Buffy gives everybody a pep-talk, where she announces that Chloe was stupid and nobody should listen to the First's lies.

Principal Wood comes to the house and glares at Spike. He brought a bag that belonged to his mother that was supposed to have been carried on from Slayer to Slayer. It's got weapons in it and some strange box that only a Slayer can open. In the box is a device I can't really describe except to say that it casts shadows on a wall as it spins around and the shadows tell a story. The story it tells is that of how the First Slayer came about.

It also opens a portal, which Buffy jumps through. There was some kind of instruction manual that explained that one makes a trade with the portal, and as soon as she's through, a big demon monster creature comes through and starts wailing on those present. Spike decides to go after it (putting on that black leather duster he took from Principal Wood's mother, and lighting up a cigarette), thinking that if he shoves it through the portal again, Buffy will come out.

In the other dimension, Buffy meets the trio of men who first created the Slayer line. They are aborigines of some sort and to fight evil, they took a village girl and gave her the power of a demon (or demons). I interpreted it that way, but hey, I could be wrong, as it's a little bit cryptic and a lot symbolic. Buffy is angry at their actions, calling them cowardly, and I guess it's because they did this to the girl (and ultimately to Buffy) against her will.

The Slayer Makers offer Buffy greater power, if she will become part demon, but she refuses. Before parting, they show her a vision . . . you know that Hellmouth seal under the high school? Well, on the other side are about a gazillion Ubervamps waiting to get out and run free in our world. Gulp.

Meanwhile, Spike goes out, thrashes the demon quite soundly, and brings its dead body back to Buffy's to stick in the portal. But the portal has closed, so Willow has to use magic to try and open it again. She's not really succeeding, so she grabs on to Kennedy and sucks out her energy.* Instantly, Willow's hair turns black again (her eyes too) and she opens the portal. Spike puts the demon in, Buffy comes out, and it closes up again.

Kennedy is freaked out at what Willow did, and Willow apologises, explaining that Kennedy was the strongest one there, and that's why she's so afraid to use magic. Looks like Willow's gonna be sleeping alone tonight. The end.

Seeing the poor Potential hanging there was the first in a line of really harsh moments in tonight's "Buffy"s. If there weren't only a handful of episodes left, there would've been time to mourn for the character and examine how her death affected the others (particularly Kennedy, who called her a maggot and liked it), many of whom don't even have names.

There was probably a lot more going on in this episode than I mentioned, but I really didn't like it (except for the maggot thing and the momentary return of Dark Willow, but neither of those aspects were satisfactorily explored), and as I said, I found it rather forgettable. Sorry, Doug.

Next up was "Storyteller," written by Jane Espenson. I probably ought to mention that my aforementioned cousin has only seen a couple of episodes from Season Seven, but two of them were this one and the one that followed, so I had a pretty good idea what was coming on these two.

"Storyteller" focuses mostly on Andrew as he tries to document the goings-on at Buffy's house with his handy video camera. He offers his own personal insight on the Slayer and those around her, and we see into his head a couple of disquieting times. His idea is that, since the fate of the world pretty much hangs in the balance, that history will want to know what they're doing there . . . assuming there are people left to watch the documentary.

His constant shooting and commentary irritates most everyone (particularly Buffy), but a couple of them, such as Spike, seem to find it amusing. Andrew asks Xander and Anya embarrassing details about their almost-wedding, and it gets them talking about their relationship. It becomes apparent that there may be a way to salvage things between them. Which is cool.

Andrew explains his past to the viewers, and we get to see a couple of flashbacks, both as things really happened, and as he retells them (for example, Andrew apparently was able to hold his own against Dark Willow at the end of last season, and was the real brains behind the Evil Trio). Not a heck of a lot happens with his scenes, but we do progress the narrative when we're away from him.

For example, Buffy goes to work and finds the school at the brink of disaster. Many Hellmouthy things are happening at the same time (such as a girl turning invisible because nobody notices her), and she explains to Principal Wood that everything is coming to a head, mentioning her dream about the thousands of Ubervamps waiting to escape the seal down below them.

Speaking of which, a bunch of students become possessed and go down to the seal and begin the process of reopening it. Buffy goes to Andrew and asks him the circumstances under which it was opened the first time. We see Andrew and Jonathan in hiding in Mexico, and the First Evil appearing to Andrew in the form of Warren, suggesting he obtain a special knife to be used in a ritual.

That knife is now in Buffy's kitchen, and Willow sees there are symbols or words carved into it. She does some translating and tells Buffy what she knows. Buffy then takes Andrew to the school with her, telling him it's his chance to undo the damage he once did. Spike and Principal Wood go too, and find many students running amok, burning and graphitti-ing and attacking people.

On a brighter note, Xander and Anya have a little bit of old-times-sake sex, after which she feels like she can finally move on with her life. It looks like Xander, however, feels differently.

While Spike and the Principal fight the students, Buffy takes Andrew down to the basement. She asks him about killing Jonathan, and he tells her a story where Jonathan attacked him and Andrew only killed him in self defence. Students have turned themselves into Bringers, and Buffy thrashes them nicely. Buffy asks Andrew for the Jonathan-killing story again, and he tells her a version where he was possessed at the time and didn't have control over his actions.

Buffy pulls out Andrew's knife and tells him his blood can close the seal. Andrew begins to plead for his life, crying, and finally admits that he killed Jonathan of his own free will, knowing what he was doing. His tears hit the seal and it closes. Turns out that it wasn't his blood that was necessary to shut it down after all.

Principal Wood sees his opportunity to kill Spike amid the violence with the students, but when the seal closes, the students turn back to normal. Except for the ones who have faded away, killed one another, become Bringers, or exploded, I suppose.

Buffy takes a contrite and repentant Andrew back to her house, and he seems to be a changed man. The end.

This was the closest we've had to a stand-alone episode in a while, and while I liked it more than the shadow puppet one, I find myself frustrated that not more is going on in each episode. It may be that I'm just freaked that the show is about to end, but there's a log of stuff I still don't know, and if "Buffy" stops airing new episodes, I probably will never find out.**
So, our third episode of the evening was "Lies My Parents Told Me," written by David Fury and Drew Goddard, and directed by Fury.

It begins with a flashback. Principal Robin Wood, a little boy, is watching his mother fight with Spike in Central Park in New York.
Spike is really enjoying their tussle, but doesn't know the kid is there. He heads off into the night, and the Slayer feels she has to go after him. She tells the boy to go to her Watcher and stay until she gets back. Before she heads to the subway--and her own demise--she tells Wood "The mission is what matters."

Spike, Buffy, and Principal Wood, in the here-and-now are fighting vampires together. Spike saves Wood, and seems oblivious to the hatred radiating off the man. Or it could be that being around Buffy's friends for so many years, he's just used to it.

Spike is still staying in the basement, chaining himself up in case The First uses the trigger (which is an olde English folk song) to turn him to its will again. Buffy tells Giles that she had Spike's chip removed, and he's very disappointed with her judgment. Buffy wants to figure out how to de-trigger Spike, but Giles and Principal Wood both think Spike oughtta become the contents of a dustbin.

Willow figures out a spell that can go into Spike's mind and let him know what the trigger is. When she casts it, we get another flashback, this one to his days of being William the romantic, lonely poet, living with his doting mother and dreaming about the awful, horrible Cecily (who a lot of people say is the vengeance demon Halfrek). William's mother is ill (with tuberculosis), but still comforts him, singing "Early One Morning" to him.

This is the song that's been triggering his episodes, and it does so then, with him snarling and vamping out, nearly attacking Dawn before he can be restrained.

Back in Spike flashback land, we see what happened immediately after he came back as a vampire. Knowing how close he was to his mother, I expected an even more unpleasant scene of matricide than we saw when Angelus came back. But I was surprised. Vampire William seems to be exactly like regular William, only more confident. Drusilla is at his side, planning the reign of terror that would be their legacy, and Spike says it will be marvelous what the three of them will accomplish. See, he wants to make his mother a vampire too, sharing the gift he's been given.

His mother enters the room, hearing them talking, and is distraught that William's been gone for days with nary a word. William explains that he has become a vampire, and that he wants to make it so she's not sick anymore and never has to age another day. She is afraid, but he bites her, to share the gift he's been given.

These flashback scenes are totally bizarre, kids. It's as though the writers wanted to make Spike a thorough and complete opposite of Angel, and show that somehow he kept a hell of a lot more of his humanity than any other vampire I can remember seeing on the show. It may be that it was just the most interesting (and unpleasant) twist they could come up with, but it seems to insinuate that Spike didn't become a monster by having a demon come inside him when he became undead, but learned to be a monster through bloodshed and the company of truly evil vampires like Drusilla, Angelus, Darla, and Count Chocula. I don't have a problem with it, actually, it just strikes me as very strange.

Well, Principal Wood sees that Giles is of a similar mindset, and takes him aside, asking him to help him get rid of Spike. He tells him that Spike killed his mother, and he has a plan for reve--er, justice. But he'll need Giles' help.

Willow gets a phone call from someone named Fred, and tells Buffy that there's something she has to leave town to do. I don't believe she explains exactly what's going on--perhaps Buffy would be too distracted knowing Angelus was back, or maybe Buffy would want to go with her--but she says she'll return as soon as possible.

Now, had we been watching these in slightly different order, I guess this would have led in to the last "Angel" we watched, "Orpheus." Maybe that would've been better, but it would have ruined the surprise of seeing Willow when . . . her name first appeared in the opening credits. Grrrrr.

Giles asks Buffy if he can pretend to be her Watcher again, and they go to the cemetery (or probably one of many Sunnydale cemeteries) for a bit of training and advice. A vampire comes up out of the ground and Giles asks Buffy not to kill it yet, just grappling with it. A war is coming and he asks her if she is ready to make the hard decisions--unlike in Season Five when she was unwilling to sacrifice Dawn to stop Glory--and she insists she is.

Then Giles reminds her of Spike. Spike is a tool of the First that can be triggered at any time, but Buffy is unwilling to remove that tool from her enemy's hands. Then Buffy realises that this was all a distraction, so that Spike could be eliminated, and she kills the vampire and runs off.

Principal Wood takes Spike to his workshop, where, once they're inside, he reveals has crosses covering the walls. There's a drawer full of armaments and a computer on a table, and Wood tells Spike he murdered his mother. "I murdered a lot of people's mothers," Spike says, but understands that Wood wants his vengeance.

But Wood doesn't want this Spike, he wants the Spike from 1977 . . . the soulless monster. He turns to the computer and pulls up the song "Early One Morning," which changes Spike once more. Then Wood attacks.

We flash back again to see what happened after William sired his mother. She seems delighted to be healthy and alive, and can't wait to get away from her boring, sentimental, despised, pathetic weakling of a son. He is hurt by her words, but she just gets worse and worse, mocking him for being a mama's boy, and insisting that he wanted to be far more than just her son, and now that he's turned her into a vampire, he'll get his wish. It's some vile stuff, and he's horrified to hear it, and he apologises for he did, then stakes her.

Only then does Spike--in the 21st Century--come out of his funk, and throws Principal Wood clear across the room. Spike tells Wood that that he did him a favour with this little ruse. For years, he's carried the sting of his mother's last words with him, but now he understands that it was the demon inside her talking, not his mother. His mother loved him, unlike Wood's mother, who was a Slayer, and incapable of looking beyond the mission, the fight against evil. He goes over and turns on "Early One Morning" again. But the trigger's been broken.***

Buffy arrives to find Spike putting on his black jacket. Principal Wood is alive in the workshop, and Spike tells her that the next time he tries anything like that, he's dead. Buffy goes in and tells him how she lost her own mother a couple of years back, but that there's a war coming, and they need Spike to help fight it. Despite any personal feelings or vendettas, the mission is what matters.

Buffy goes home, and Giles tells her that it had to be done. She tells him that their plan failed and that Spike is still alive, so he tries to stress his point once again. She tells him she can't learn anything from Giles anymore. The end.

Wow. There's a lot to think about in this episode. Tyranist and I might have discussed everyone's motivations and what it all means for Giles and Buffy's relationship (as well as the Spike/Buffy, Spike/Wood, and Wood/Buffy ones), had we had time to discuss anything except for how long it would take to press the PLAY button on the next episode.

I guess "Lies My Parents Told Me" is about Spike and his mother, Wood and his mother, and Buffy and her "father." The ending shows us that Buffy has far eclipsed her teacher in most ways, and it's sad, because the Giles/Buffy relationship was probably my favourite of the whole series (a close second was probably the Willow/Xander one, and it's embarrassing how thrilled I still get at the ice cream scene in Season Two, or those several fleeting moments in Season Three where they sort of did get together. Hell, suppose I'll always have Vampire Xander and Vampire Willow, if I really wanted those two as a couple.

Spike is a really complicated character, made even more so in this episode. It seems like a long time ago that I saw "Fool For Love," Season Five's Spike origin episode. I remember talking to my cousin about it, and he said, "What did you think of what happened with Spike's mother?" As we chatted, I realised there must have been more to Spike's origin I didn't know about, and I imagined Spike must have eaten his mother, the same way Angel ate his family. But you know, this really puts Spike in a different light. I know it's a ret-con, but the thought that he wasn't at all different after becoming a vampire, just a bit more confident, is pretty enlightening.

And I remember theorising once that deep down, Spike is still that dopey, poetry-writing loser, where as deep down, Angel was the godless womanising drunkard. If anything, this episode reinforced that silly idea I had, and unless we're to accept that the demon that went into Spike was somehow a lesser one, or that he retained a portion of his soul all along, I guess I'll stick to it.

And Buffy is complicated too, though I have to wonder if that is by design or by accident over the years. In this episode, I'm not sure we ever really see Buffy's reasoning for trusting in Spike or keeping him around. I know that in real life, people don't have reasons for a lot of the things that they do (much less feel), and I remember having some pretty prolonged attraction/affection/love for a couple of girls who were really unworthy of such feeling. I mooned over them, and pursued them, and I supposed had my own little horrible Cecilys in them, where my affection was never returned and I loathe myself for feeling it now. But feel it I did, and while I don't know what Buffy Summers feels for Spike, exactly, she clearly feels something. And maybe she hates herself for it too. Or used to hate herself for it.

"Someday, she will tell you."

I thank god I still don't know what this phrase means. Guess that's one tiny revelation that has not been spoiled for me. Yet.

To Be Continued...

*I'd suck out her energy too. But hey, I'm a pervert.

**And maybe that's an opening to talk about the comic books. Sure, people have made a big deal about Joss doing a Season Eight in comic form, but it's just not the same, and I'm sure there are many who don't consider any of the comic books to be canon. Tyranist has several, and I've read some of the "further adventures" books, and while some have been good (the story that took place between the movie and the first episode was particularly great), there's a temptation to just ignore them all (same with the novels), since they'll never be as important (or reach the level of acceptance) as the filmed works.
It's like the "Star Trek" novels and comics. I saw William Shatner wrote (or "wrote," if you prefer) a book detailing Captain Kirk's first meeting with Spock at the Academy. While the story sounds just up my alley, and I really enjoyed another of the books Shatner wrote (or "wrote," if you continue to prefer), won't this book be rended moot, or imaginary, or incorrect when the J.J. Abrahms movie comes out next summer?
Not that I expect there to be any more "Buffy." There's little chance for any of that to continue. Unless "Dollhouse" is a breakaway hit, I suppose (though my ex-friend Jeff is constantly announcing its demise, months before it's even set to air). It's just that if the comics say that Warren or Cordelia or Dobson or Uncle Ben are still alive, I doubt the majority of fans are going to lend that any credence. And if . . .
You know, I think tyranist has the first "Buffy: Season 8" trade. Maybe I'll just read that, and then make up my mind.

***We do get a moment where we are led to believe that Spike, in his right mind and with his soul intact, kills Principal Wood in much the same way that Angel leapt upon Wesley in that last season episode that kept me away from the show for a month or so . . . but it was just a fake-out on the writers' part, so I didn't mention it.

Buffy Wednesday (August 27)

Tyranist and I caught three episodes of BTVS this week. Sadly, it means we are now more than halfway through the last season.

First up was "Potential," by Rebecca Rand Kirshner. I should remember who Kirshner is (she wrote "Tabula Rasa"), but I always forget.

The show started with Buffy and her potential Slayers (including a Chinese one, who only speaks subtitled Mandarin) walking through the cemetery. Spike jumps out and attacks the girls, all part of their training, and Buffy critiques their actions. For now, the First Evil is apparently napping, but it will rear its ugly head(s) again soon, more powerful than ever.

Buffy goes to school, where Amanda, the skinny girl she talked to about beating up bullies in "Help" shows up again.

Willow is told by the English coven we have never seen that another Potential is right there in Sunnydale, previously undetected. Dawn and Andrew are both relegated to standing around while the super-normals train or instruct or cast spells or work out. Willow prepares to cast a spell to locate this Potential, who will be sought out by a glowing ball of light. I'm going to come out now that I am all for glowing balls of light. I don't know, maybe I'll change my mind as I grow older, but for now, they're just cool.

Well, Willow casts the spell, and the ball floats around, then zooms straight for Dawn, who is standing by the door. The ball hits her, and knocks her down, and we realise that Dawn is the other Potential Slayer.

But of course, I mean, hey, why shouldn't she be? When Buffy died, I thought it only natural that Dawn should be the next Slayer, since she's made up of Buffy DNA, right?

Well, Dawn takes the news badly. In order for her to become the next Slayer, Buffy's gotta die, right?* Also, a Slayer tends to have a very short lifespan. After all, Buffy was killed, what, a year after being "chosen?" Dawn goes upstairs, then takes off out the window. Buffy never would've done that at her age.

Dawn finds Amanda from school on the sidewalk, who tells her that she was attacked at the school . . . by what appeared to be a vampire. She says she'd heard rumours that Ms. Summers knew about such things and was looking for her. Dawn says she believes her and asks her to take her to the classroom, where she claims she locked the vampire.

Buffy takes the girls (and Spike) to the local demon bar (I wonder if Sunnydale has more than one), and shows them how to get information from the demons there. Later, they go to a crypt where a vampire is sleeping. Buffy tussles with it, showing the girls how to keep their heads in battle, then she ducks out of the crypt, leaving the girls to fend for themselves.

It's maybe not the best way to teach a lesson, but it gets the point across. And anyway, they kill the vampire without any casualties, so I guess it worked out.

Xander and Willow, back at . . . well, their house, discover that Dawn has snuck out, and Willow casts a locator spell to find her.

Dawn and Amanda go to the school, and find the vampire hiding in wait for them. It chases them around and Dawn does her best to wallop it with a fire extinguisher. They board themselves up a science classroom while the vampire tries to get them.

Even worse, the Bringers (them pesky minions of the First Evil) show up to capture/kill the Potential Slayer. Dawn thinks fast and uses the gas jets to burn them, and sees that they were after Amanda, not her.

Xander and Willow and Buffy and . . . pretty much everyone who's not evil or dead arrive at the school. The vampire attacks again, and Dawn gives the stake she was using to Amanda, telling her that she's the one to kill it. She does, and Buffy takes care of the Bringers.

As they leave, it is revealed that Amanda was at the door when Willow cast her spell, and it went THROUGH Dawn to get to Amanda. Suddenly, Amanda is special, and the other Potentials immediately bond with her. Dawn ends up feeling unspecial and like an outsider again, but quickly volunteers to do some research on the computer. The real Potentials (and Buffy) continue training, leaving her alone.

Then Xander comes by, and tells her he knows how she feels. Ever since "Welcome to the Hellmouth," he's been the normal, ordinary guy, surrounded by Slayers, or smart people, or vampires, or witches, or werewolves, or ex-demons, or whatever Cordelia was, but that he can see that she's special even without powers or a unique heritage.** It's a nice moment between them, and it makes Dawn feel better, and hey, sometimes that's all you need. The end.

I didn't particularly like this episode . . . until the end. The Xander speech was a good one, and Dawn is a sweet character, and that made up for a lot. I think tyranist felt like it was the best scene Xander ever had, and while I can't go that far, it was nice.

Next up was "The Killer In Me," written by Drew Greenberg. It began with Giles taking the Potential girls out into the desert for a vision quest. We never see the girls, though, which I assumed was a cost-cutting measure.*** And something else we never see . . . Giles touching anything. They even explain that someone else has to drive for him because he let his drivers license expire. I believe this was another of those "tyranist pauses the tape" moments.

Kennedy is too sick to go, but Giles and all the girls drive off into the desert. Spike is still chained down in the basement (fairly sure the First Evil is going to take him over again), but it seems he's been having problems with his brain chip: it's been causing him pain when he's, I don't know, sitting on the couch or taking a slash. In other words, it's malfunctioning.
She decides to call Riley, but when she calls the number he gave her, she gets a flower shop answering machine, and leaves a cryptic message (I believe it involved the Army of the Twelve Monkeys and "Merry Christmas") before hanging up. Meanwhile, Spike writhes on the floor.

So, Kennedy wasn't really sick, she just didn't want to go with the squares on their silly vision quest, but preferred to stay and hang with Willow. I should find that irritating as hell, but for some reason, I was cool with it. She tells Willow she needs to take her somewhere and show her something important, and that somewhere turns out to be at the Bronze, and that something turns out to be her patented seduction routine.

She talks to Willow about how she became a lesbian, and at first Willow is very defensive about it, but warms rather quickly. Much as I have to this character. Willow tells Kennedy about Tara and Kennedy tells Willow why she finds her so attractive. A little drunk, they return to their already-shared bedroom, and kiss.

But something strange happens: when they part, it's no longer Willow standing there, but Warren. Kennedy freaks out, Willow sees herself in the mirror and she freaks out, they go downstairs, and everybody else freaks out. Willow/Warren tries to explain what has happened to her, and eventually convinces everyone that she's who she says she is.

Willow thinks--and it makes perfect sense--that this is something she has done to herself, through that magic that has a tendency to go a little screwy. She takes off alone, but Kennedy follows her.

Because Buffy doesn't know what else to do, she and Spike go to where the Initiative headquarters used to be. I thought it was all filled in with concrete, but apparently they just closed the doors and got the hel-ck out of Dodge. It is dark in there, and there are still bodies (of both demons and men) decaying on the floor. But something else lurks there, a demon that didn't die, perhaps, and it leaps upon Buffy when she's distracted by another of Spike's disabling chip-malfunctions.

As soon as Buffy takes the monster out, lights come on around them, and a bunch of Initiative dudes arrive, led by a black guy we've not seen before. He's on orders from Agent Finn to help Buffy out and take care of Spike's chip. And by "take care of," they give her the option of repairing the chip or removing it.

Back at Buffy's house, the phone rings and the Watcher we saw attacked in the episode Giles died in is calling, warning them what he saw. Xander and Anya decide that Giles must be the First Evil, since no one can remember him touching anything (Anya even asks if anyone hugged Giles, not that there's an excuse for not doing it), and they load into the car, taking Dawn and Andrew with them.

Andrew is attempting to endear himself to us by being dorky and shunned by the rest of the group, and I hope it starts working soon, 'cause he strikes me as quite useless and even more annoying. We'll see.

Willow goes to the college campus, where--speaking of useless and annoying--that Wicca group that she used to visit still meets. Well, I guess she met Tara there, so the group wasn't totally useless. None of the girls look familiar to me . . . except one. It's Amy, who has joined the group to get control of her mini-addiction to magic. Or so she claims. She apologises to Willow for what she did, and Willow is a bit distracted by having man parts, but accepts it anyway. Oh, and none of the girls can help Willow, 'cause they're, like, still into incense and black outfits and not shaving their legs.

Willow says something rather un-Willowlike and realises that she not only looks like Warren, but she's becoming like him. She storms off and when Kennedy tries to follow, she puts up a magic shield there. I can't tell you how many times a girl has done that to me (and often, they weren't even witches). So Kennedy goes back to talk to Amy, and finds that not only does Amy know who she is, but she seems a heck of a lot less contrite when she's not in front of her little Wiccy buddies.

In the desert, we find Giles sitting by himself beside a campfire, the Potentials still unseen in their tents or in the wilderness. Xander and Anya and Dawnie and the other guy jump out and tackle Giles. They are all surprised to find that he has physical form, and Giles is surprised they thought he was evil (and that Andrew got grabby with his crotch). Even though it's not explained until the next episode, I'll just say that Giles had heard the Bringer's squeaky shoes and caught the axe when it was swung at his head. He pulled it away and killed the Bringer with it, end of story.

Ho hum.

Wilren goes to the gun shop where he bought the pistol that killed Tara. The gun shop owner recognises "him" and sells him another pistol.

Amy reveals to Kennedy that SHE was the one who caused this to happen to Willow, just to bring her down a peg or three. She cast a spell that would turn Willow into what she most feared, and is quite proud of how it worked out. Her reasons are a) she's a really horrible person, b) it's not fair that Willow gets to be loved after all that she's done, and c) she's a really horrible person. To prove her sincerity, she magically transports Kennedy to Buffy's backyard, just as Wilren comes around the corner, saying the same thing Warren did when he shot Buffy (and Tara).

Kennedy is able to talk Wilren out of shooting her, and Willow cries, realising that when she kissed Kennedy, she finally and truly let Tara be dead in her heart. It's odd to see Warren cry like that, and I gotta admit they did a good job in making the actors behave believably.

Kennedy theorises that because it works in the fairy tales, she can break the spell the same way here. She kisses Wilren . . . who becomes Willow again. And it's funny, I'm perfectly fine with that. The end.

I might ought to talk about how much I didn't want Kennedy to show up on the show, how bothered I was that they would give Willow another love interest so soon, and what a stupid first name Kennedy is (for a boy or a girl), but I'm running low on time, so I'll just leave it for later. Or never.

The third episode we watched was called "First Date," written by Jane Espenson.

After explaining how he didn't die when we saw him die, Giles finds out that Buffy has had Spike's brain-chip removed. He doesn't think that was a wise decision, but Buffy explains that Spike has a soul now, and more importantly, he was able to kill people just fine under the First Evil's influence even with a chip. I guess Giles doesn't really have a say in anything now that he has become Mr. So Timid And Adviceless That We Thought He Was Dead.

And . . .

Basically, this show was about a couple of first dates. Xander meets this Ashanti-looking chick in a hardware store and they seem to hit it off enough that he asks her to dinner and she accepts.

Anya is not at all pleased with this turn of events and would've much preferred that Xander commit seppuku or join a monastery,
and I gotta wonder if maybe there isn't still some potential for a semi-happy ending between those two.

Also, Buffy starts to believe that Principal Wood is up to no good, and goes snooping about his office. When caught, he asks her out to dinner too. She accepts, but doesn't know if she's interested in him or suspicious of him. Spike does the complete opposite of Anya, and tells her to go out and have a nice date with the man. It's weird how all over the board Spike has been this season.

While they're gone, Jonathan appears in front of Andrew, obviously the First Evil again, and tells him it's not too late to kill all the Potentials and get to live forever in peace and happiness (or whatever their deal was when the First was Warren).

"Jonathan" tells Andrew where the gun Willow bought last episode is, and it appears that Andrew's going along with it for about three seconds, before he begins to ask the First if it has any weaknesses he should be aware of. It would seem that Andrew told Willow what was going on, and she put a wire on him, so they could find out what it is planning. The only thing that we learn before it disappears is that it's not time for Spike to play his part yet.

Principal Wood (who I think I'll just call "Wood" from now on) takes Buffy to this hole-in-the-wall restaurant that just happens to go through one of the thousands of dark alleys crawling with vampires that Sunnydale boasts (honest, I think it's on their tourism brochures). The vampires jump out, and while Buffy takes them on, so does Wood, managing to dust one or two.

It turns out that he's a rogue demon hunter, like our man Wesley was, and has been fighting them his whole life, like your man Gunn was. His mother was a Slayer, who was killed by a vampire when he was just a boy, and he was raised by her Watcher. I think this took tyranist completely by surprise, but I think I heard someone mention that the disco Slayer Spike killed in the subway had a son that showed up on the series later, so I sort of knew. I think this makes Buffy more interested in Wood romantically, and probably opens up her world a little knowing that there have been Slayers who had children.

Cut to: Xander's date, also in a restaurant. This Ashanti-looking girl really seems to be into him, and he can't believe it, since every chick to ever show interest in Xander has either been a demon, an ex-demon, or worse, Cordelia Chase.

Sadly (and it's not sad at all, but pretty darn funny), the Ashanti-looking girl also turns out to be a demon, that takes Xander down to the seal under the high school, ties him up, and cuts into him with a knife, hoping to open it up again. Poor guy.

Xander did manage to send Willow a text message when the date started to go south, and she interprets it that his companion is probably a demon. Spike goes to the restaurant to get Buffy, and meets Principal Wood there. They are introduced, but Buffy doesn't tell Wood Spike is a vampire, and sure as hell doesn't tell Wood which vampire Spike is. Though it's possible she doesn't know. I mean, there's probably a new Slayer called more often than the Olympics.

They drive to the school and rescue Xander, killing Ashanti good and proper, and revealing Spike to be a vampire. Wood doesn't understand why Buffy would allow him to live, and is uncomfortable to see they have some kind of "thing" between them.**** Principal Wood goes home, and the First Evil appears to him in the form of his dead mother (it may be at this moment that the home viewers first realise which Slayer his mother was, and that we've seen her before*****). It tells him that he just met her killer that night, and hopes he is man enough to do something about it. The end.

I still feel like these episodes are moving rather slowly, but I am still enjoying the ride. To the complaints that this seventh season has too many characters, I may have to agree on that one, but I'm not really complaining. To have many, many regular characters is to create something intricate and special, but more importantly, leaves it open to kill a few of them off. Which, knowing Joss Whedon as well as I do, I'm sure will happen anytime soon.

Rish Sebastian Outfield

*At this point, tyranist insisted that Faith has to die, not Buffy, for the next Slayer to be called. While the show has never said anything to support that statement, he does know what's coming at the end and I don't so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

**Of course, Dawn has only existed as something other than a ball of light for two years, but I'm glad he didn't mention that small detail.

***Turns out I was right. Hoorah for me.

****Notice I didn't say "thang" between them? I think I'm growing as a person.

*****Although to be absolutely fair . . . she ain't the same actress. I checked.

Buffy Wednesday (August 6th)

Tyranist and I did burn through a few more "Buffy"s the last time I went to his place. With this group, we're a few steps closer to "Buffy" being over forever. I am sad to think about it.

We watched "Sleeper," written by David Fury and Jane Espenson. I may save this for another blog post, but I probably shouldn't, since it picks up right where "Conversations with Dead People" left off.

Spike buries the woman he killed at the end of last episode in a shallow grave, so we can assume that wasn't just a trick or a ghost.

Willow comes home from the library and finds Buffy's living room
completely thrashed. Dawn tells her that she spoke to her mother, but NOT what Joyce told her, and Willow tells her it was a trick, that something similar happened to her, but not to trust it.

We also travel to England, where a man is--ah hell, a Watcher discovers his charge dead, and then is stabbed as well by more of those robe-wearing dudes from earlier in the season.

Buffy goes to talk to Xander about what the Psyche Major vampire told her, and they wonder if Xander's new roommate might be eating people at night. They remind us that Spike still has his chip, in addition to his soul, but wonder about the validity of both.

Spike comes home, but he doesn't seem to have any memory of what he did that night, or of killing Buffy's classmate. Spike goes to his room, which appears to just be a guest room with the windows covered up. Buffy asks Xander to keep an eye on Spike, but when it's time for him to go to work, he calls up Anya to guard him. She is reluctant, but in my estimation, she should be grateful she's even still on the show.

Anya wonders if Spike keeps mementos of his kills like all the serial killers she regularly has tea with, and sneaks into his room to look through his things.

Of course he wakes up, and of course he sleeps naked. She then reminds me why she's still on the show by claiming she wants to have sex with him (again). Spike turns her down (either because of his newfound soul or because he saw through her lie, I don't know which), and goes back to sleep. When he wakes up, he gives her the whole "it's not you it's me," which leads me to believe it was the former. Then he goes out into the night.

Anya calls Buffy and tells her Spike is gone. Buffy follows him down the absolute crowdedest outdoor shopping area in Sunnydale history. Nay, it's the largest gathering we have ever seen on the show, graduation day included, all out for a bit of shopping on a Thursday evening. I have no idea why they would've sprung for so many extras, unless it was a "Be On Buffy" promotion through the fanclub and everyone in that scene was there for free.

I once did that, to be a part of a certain costumed superhero movie, so I'd understand.

So anyway, Spike goes to this Santa Monica Promenade-type place where he picks up on a ready and willing chick, and takes her to a dark alley. Buffy follows. Pardon my French, but the girl is so fucking creepy and darkly forward, that I was absolutely sure she was either a revenant or another vampire.

But I guess not. Mid-kiss, Spike looks up and sees Buffy there, and she encourages him to kill the girl. He does, and I am mighty disturbed.

The fake Buffy in the alley turns into Spike, and I start wondering if Spike never killed anyone, but it was this creature that can look like anyone it wants. Later it is explained, but I was confused for . . . well, pretty much this whole seventh season so far. Spike sometimes seems utterly insane and other times seems quite coherent, so it made perfect sense that one Spike is the First Evil and one Spike is real.

So, the real Buffy apparently only saw Spike go off with the spooky chick, but she confronts him when he gets home, accusing him of killing her and Holden the Psych Major. Spike denies it, saying that yes, he gets together and talks with women, but it's just a poor substitute for who he'd like to be with. This doesn't convince Buffy, so he reminds her that he has a chip in his head, and that since he got a soul, he dwells on the people he killed before, and would never do it again. Buffy is still not convinced, and tells him that Holden told her Spike sired him. Spike suggests that Holden was lying, that he'd remember if he'd tasted human blood, and . . .

Look, poor Spike really doesn't stand a chance in this scene. It's like getting in a conversation with my cousin's man-hating sister. No matter what logic is placed in front of her, she's always going to sweep it away with either a "You have no idea what you're talking about" or a "That is so typical of a guy to say that." The thing is, Buffy would much rather believe Holden or an evil ghost than her ex-lover, and really wants to believe that Spike is killing again.

I don't know why, but it rewatching this scene and the one that followed it, there is a cold determination in her, despite what those around her say, reminding me a bit of Xander's relentless loathing of Angel in the second and third seasons. It ain't pretty, and if I didn't really like David Fury and Jane Espenson's work, I'd say the fault lies in the writing.

Buffy goes home and Willow uses her handy computer to check if blood-drained corpses have been found. They haven't, but there have been ten disappearances of young women recently (what the Sunnydale police department refers to as "your standard week in November").
Spike, meanwhile, gets a flash of memory about the girl he killed in "Conversations with Dead People." He wants to go out on the town, but Xander won't let him. So Spike knocks Xander out, much to the pain in his noggin, and hits the streets. He goes to the Bronze and asks people if they remember the girl. Up in the rafters, he watches people dance to Aimee Mann, and is joined by an attractive lass who hits on him. When he spurns her advances, she reveals herself as a vampire and tells him he turned her into one.

Xander awakens and calls Buffy, telling her Spike is gone. Somehow she knows he went to the Bronze--oh, because for one short season, all Sunnydale had was the Bronze--and goes there. She asks the bouncer at the door if he's seen Spike, and he tells her she ought not to bother with the Billy Idol wannabe, since he's in there every night with a different girl. The bouncer is actually a pretty cool dude, which reminds me that the writers aren't bad at all.

Spike fights the lady vampire, I guess because she wants to kill the people dancing, and eventually he dusts her. Aimee Mann doesn't like vampire towns, but finishes her song. Spike uses a payphone to call someone, which is revealed to be Buffy, but was shot in such a way that we're somewhat doubtful.* He tells her he remembers things and to meet him at a house.

They go in the basement, but Buffy suspects a trap. And I guess we do too. The other Spike is down there, telling Spike that he's going to have to kill Buffy, even though that wasn't next in the order of things to do. Buffy explains that he thinks he killed a bunch of people and buried them here, and then the Other Spike begins to sing an old folk tune. I guess it's Spike's trigger, 'cause he vamps out and attacks Buffy.

All around them, the people Spike killed come out of the ground as vampires, and attack Buffy. She is overpowered, and they hold her for Spike to kill. That's an interesting action, since he doesn't talk to them and none of them (can) talk either. Is it just an instinct to serve their sire rather than feed for themselves? Are they in some kind of thrall of the First Evil too? Can they see the Other Spike?

Regardless, Spike tastes Buffy's blood (she got a cut on her arm), and it reminds him of all he's done in the past episode and snaps him out of it. Buffy pulls away from the new vampires and kills them all.

She turns to Spike, who tells her to stake him for his crimes. Only now does Buffy realise that something has been manipulating Spike the way she and her friends were manipulated, and she has pity on him, taking him back to her place. Her theory is that, whatever evil is in in town, Spike's been around it the most, and may offer useful insights.

Well, Xander and company aren't exactly thrilled with the idea (though Willow doesn't really say much), and I sure miss the good old days of Season Five, when Dawn had some interesting (and sweet) connection with Spike. Too bad that went away, but if I had to write an official reason for the change, I'd say that she's now a lot less naive, and has seen enough nastiness in Spike (and other vampires) to harden her heart toward him.

I do wonder, now that my wondering cap is on, how Dawn took the whole Season 2 Angel/Angelus stuff and if she ever spent any time with him. And if she did, did she know he was a vampire? And how did she find out?

Anyway, the episode ends back in England, where Giles comes to the home of the Watcher who was attacked. He finds the girl dead, and the Watcher near death. "Gather them," the man says, while a black-robed figure sneaks up behind Rupert Giles and swings an axe at the back of his head. The end.

Well, this episode was a long way from satisfying. It wasn't bad, but it brought up questions that weren't answered to my satisfaction (and still haven't been).

I still have a great amount of affection for Spike, and I was pretty moved when I recounted his pleas for Buffy to stake him to my seven year old niece. I am quite a softie, and I can't imagine what my own children would think of me, if they were to exist.

So, next up was "Never Leave Me," written by Drew CLOVERFIELD Goddard. This was the first episode to air in 2003, and would have been blogged a long time ago if somehow blogger didn't have an error and wipe out my entire recap while still claiming to be saving it.

Andrew is talking to the ghost of Warren . . .

We have established that these aren't really the people they appear to be, right? So it's not really Warren or Drusilla or Joyce or Buffy, even though it can sound like them and know things they would know (like lines from THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK)? Okay, just clearing that up.

. . . who is encouraging him to do more evil. "Warren" becomes "Jonathan," and explains that his blood wasn't enough to open the seal under the high school. Andrew doesn't want to kill any more people, and is incapable of killing a piglet, but he offers to go buy some pig's blood at the butcher shop.

Back at home, Buffy ties Spike to a chair. This sort of thing seems to happen to him a lot (the only thing that happens to him more often is torture), and I wonder if there was ever any tying when he and Buffy were together. Spike is a lot more vampirish now that he's tasted human blood (and Buffy's, at that), but Willow volunteers to go to the butcher shop and get him some pig's blood to drink. I think you can see where this is going.

Yes, Andrew and Willow bump into each other at the butcher shop, and he is (understandably) quite afraid of her. She takes him back to Buffy's, where Xander and Anya (happy to have something to do this week), tie him to a chair and play good cop/bad cop to find out what he knows. He's not really forthcoming, and I could've stood to see him smacked around a bit more.

Buffy calls in sick at work, then calls Quentin Travers at the Watcher Academy (or whatever you'd call it) in London. I guess she's trying to get in touch with Giles, and as soon as Travers hangs up, we see that he's in a big room filled with Watchers, and they don't know where Giles is. He tells them to prepare themselves for what's to come, gathering all their forces together . . . and then the building they're all in explodes. Damn faulty wiring.

Buffy and Spike have a conversation while she feeds him the blood, and he tells her what he did to get his soul, and why he did it. He explains that, with a soul, he now knows that she was using him last season, and that she hated herself for it. He hates himself for the things he's done, so they have something in common. Also, who is Andrew?

Spike is much more calm and lucid now, but the second Buffy leaves the room, the Other Spike shows up and taunts him. Buffy hears him singing as she comes back in, but Spike is now vicious and breaks through his bonds. Instead of attacking Buffy, though, he Robocops through the wall and grabs Andrew in the next room, and bites him.

Buffy knocks Spike out, rescuing Andrew, and suspects that the song she overheard is Spike's trigger. Something about fruity oaty bars, I didn't quite catch it all.

Spike is chained up in the basement, and he tries to rouse Buffy into staking him, but she tells him she's not giving up on him yet. It's interesting how many second chances she's given Spike versus how many she gave Angel, but I guess with Angel, it was Twoo Wuv, I don't know.

Buffy's house is attacked by the evil dudes in hoods and robes. We see that they have no eyes, or rather, X's sewn, gouged, or grown there. Willow is knocked out, Xander and Dawn fight a couple of them (yeah, Dawn), and Buffy kills several of the hooded dudes.** I guess the invaders were really after their two allies, because when the smoke clears, they've tried to get to Andrew, who is still tied to a chair, and have succeeded in stealing Spike away.

Buffy has seen these guys before, in the episode "Amends," and explains to the others what the First Evil was/is, and pieces begin making sense to them now.

We see Principal Wood acting strange, disposing of Jonathan's body from the school basement. That's where The First's hooded minions (I think I'll just call 'em "hoodies" from now on) take Spike to the seal when Jonathan died. They cut into his flesh, bleeding him onto the seal. Oh, and the First takes the form of Buffy when it does this, 'cause, it's duller, it'll hurt more.

Spike's blood opens up a gateway, and a white-skinned, bat-like savage vampire comes out. According to The First, this is a "real vampire." According to the end credits, this is "The Ubervamp." Uh oh.

Next episode was "Bring on the Night," written by Marti Noxon and Douglas Petrie. I can't quite imagine what the title refers to, but I like it.

I've made this complaint before--and with only a dozen episodes left to go, I hope I don't have to again--but I really could've done without the "Special Guest Star Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles" at the very start of the episode. I know it's probably contractual and all, but they've stopped doing that shite on "Angel," and they cast it aside in one episode of "Buffy" last season. If there's a surprise appearance by someone in the show, please wait until the end titles to reveal that to us. Okay?

So, the group--which at this stage is Buffy, Xander, Willow, Anya, Dawn, and a still-tied Andrew--discuss The First Evil, not really getting anywhere. Joyce appears before Buffy, telling her she needs her rest, and Buffy awakens, having "dreamt" it.

Down under the high school, Spike is still alive (I guess they've never established what bleeding a vampire out completely will do, but it makes some sense that it's not enough to kill them, as Angel spent literally months without eating and only ended up with a skin condition), and is . . . big surprise here . . . being tortured.

I'm reminded of this Fred Dreyer show in the Eighties called "Hunter." I never watched the show, but my friend Rafael was a big fan of it, and he explained that pretty much every season, Hunter's partner DeeDee would get raped. Seriously, poor Stephanie Kramer had it in her contract or something. And they'd even play off that in the ads: "This week, DeeDee is raped again! Will Hunter go to far in bringing the perpetrator to justice?"

I don't suppose you could get away with a show like that anymore.

Well, maybe on the Lifetime Network. Only DeeDee would get raped every week. The Hunter would be the one that did it.

ANYWAY, the Ubervamp is slavering and bestial, and is apparently the Boogeyman, only for vampires. The First stands by and watches the torture, this time choosing Drusilla's form because . . . well, she used to be on the show. Spike's head is repeatedly dunked in the water, and it's not clear what The First wants from him, except to see him suffer for, what? For not killing Buffy when he had the chance? For not losing his mind completely? For joining the other side? Or maybe there's something about Spike that we don't know yet, some reason he is worth torturing but not killing. Hmmm.

Andrew eventually tells the gang what he knows, and leads Buffy to the place under the high school where he and Jonathan dug up the seal. She and Dawn cover it back up, and run into Principal Wood there, who also has a shovel. They both awkwardly explain why they're there, and I guess it's supposed to be comical, but I still can't tell if Wood is a goodie or a baddie.

They don't run into Spike down there, so I don't know where, exactly, the First Evil is hanging out. To find out, Willow casts a locator spell, but ends up getting possessed instead. In the thirty seconds or so that she's out of control, she attacks Buffy, Xander, and Anya, so when she comes back to herself, she is afraid EvilCassie is right, and she can't use magic anymore.

And then, Giles shows up at Buffy's house, apparently quite alive. With him, he's brought three girls, all would-be Slayers (or Potentials, as tyranist--who has seen the final episode--refers to them).

Nobody hugs Giles (guess they saw the opening credits too), and he explains what he knows: the First Evil has been killing all the potential Slayers and has wiped out the Watchers Council, so that no one will be around to replace Buffy (and Faith) when it's her turn. Almost all the Council's records have been destroyed, so we don't know a great deal about The First. It can only appear as one who's died, and seems to have no weaknesses. And only Buffy has even the slightest chance of leading us to victory because none of our abilities or knowledge is even remotely useful or of help so Buffy needs to carry the weight of the world on her little back, and did I mention that nobody hugged Giles?

The potentials don't seem entirely convinced that they're safe there, but the Summers home does become something of a sorority house now, with the girls hanging out together and chattering, braiding hair and having pillow fights, and one of them thinking Willow is peachy-keen.

Buffy talks to Giles about the dead Christmas trees in "Amends," and the two of them go to where that tree lot above the cave where the First was HQ'ed. Sure enough, they find it, and Buffy falls through some wood planks and finds herself face to face with the Ubervamp. This creature begins to thrash her soundly, but she sees an opening and stakes it in the heart. Nothing happens.

Finally, she makes a retreat, climbing up the hole she fell through. Because it's daytime outside, the Ubervamp cannot pursue, and she escapes (guess that's where Spike's being held). She pulls herself out of the hole without assistance, and they know that when sunset comes, the Ubervamp will come for them.

Oh, Buffy still has to go to work, and is worried and exhausted (her mother shows up again to tell her to take a rest, 'cause she's gonna need it), surely in over her head this time.

The First Evil (in the guise of Drusilla) continues to torment Spike, and assures him that the pain will stop if he joins their side. Surely the First has no use for a plain old vampire when it's got the Ubervamp at its side, right? Maybe Spike has some part to play in all this, for good or ill.

So, nightfall approaches and Buffy and Company prepare for an attack. The Potentials are given weapons, and Andrew--still tied to a chair--asks to be untied and armed as well. Giles says that nobody is going to be able to really help, that it's all up to Buffy (didn't he know a really powerful magical redhead once?), and one of the Potentials can't take the pressure, and flees into the rapidly-darkening street.

Something also tells me she probably wouldn't have been the next up to bat after Faith.

Buffy goes after her, but the Ubervamp finds her first. She lasts about as long as Rish Outfield in the bedroom, and after killing her, the Ubervamp turns to Buffy. Our poor heroine is beaten down like a cross-eyed foster child, and only gets a breather when she knocks a bunch of steel beams onto the creature.

It pops up again like . . . well, you in the bedroom, and commences to thrash her again. Finally it throws her through a wall, then goes back to its home to abuse Spike.

Bruised and battered, Buffy goes home, and everyone around her is even more convinced they won't be able to win. Finally, she stands up and tells them that even though this is the worst baddie they've faced, and she's scared and hurt, she's not quitting. Instead, they're going to rally together and attack the enemy themselves. The end.

An enjoyable episode, really.

I did get the impression, though, that these episodes were padded, and rather slow to give us any real plot development. I remember last season on "Angel" that we got three episodes' worth of story in four episodes, but I don't recall it happening on "Buffy" until now. In both cases, once things get going, they REALLY get going, but it would disappoint if you were watching them week to week and not a great deal happened. On DVD, we can at least take in three or four and see some major story movement, and on that note, I'm sorta happy to see them all these years later instead of "live."

Although I mentioned it several times, I feel I have to mention that tyranist stopped the tape time and again, both of us convinced that Giles is not Giles, but is rather a manifestation of the First Evil. It's one of those things where, once you suspect it, you see it in everything, like gayity or religion. The main problem was probably that we had no explanation of how he survived his murder two episodes ago. That, mixed with the fact that no one hugged or touched him (I found it telling that Buffy had to pull herself out of the hole she fell into, when Giles could easily have given her a hand), and they already established that the First could only impersonate people but had no physical presence.*** Of course Giles wasn't dead--after all, if they killed him the BBC couldn't make the six series of "Ripper" we all know and love--but they sure as hell made it look like he was.

Grrr, argggh, it still bothers me.

And with this episode, the dread Kennedy has reared her ugly head. And you know, it wasn't ugly at all. I not only found her attractive, I had absolutely no problem with her character. If my young, idealistic me could see me now . . . I'm sure I'd have at least one knife wound in me today.

The last episode of our little marathon--for I'll give you a confession that all the "Buffy"s I blogged about in the last post were actually from this night--was called "Showtime," written by David "They Got the Mustard Out" Fury.****

A girl--obviously a Potential--arrives at the bus station and is immediately attacked by one of the First's minions. But Buffy appears to rescue her, killing the shite out of the hooded bad guys. All the Potentials have names, but I don't know if I should bother learning them or not (except for Kennedy, of course).

There is one, Molly, who stands out a bit because of her oddly-round face, strong Southern accent, and the fact that her name is Molly. When I mentioned how disturbed I was by the name Molly (there's a creepy child called that on "Deep Space Nine," and another one on "Heroes"), tyranist told me that he nearly named his daughter that, he was so fond of it.

I'm not sure if his little girl would be grateful or disappointed to hear that. Poor Nigella.

Molly is very negative, and encourages the other girls to share their doubts about Buffy's ability to protect them. All the Potentials are worried and inexperienced, except for Kennedy, and I have to wonder: where are the Potentials like Kendra, who was raised up from toddlerhood to carry a stake, know vampire lore, and wear a chastity belt?

And speaking of Kennedy, she has decided that she will sleep with Willow. And by that, I mean share a room with her.

And by that, I mean become her luvah.

Kennedy is pretty excited about Willow's powers (and by "excited," I mean...), trying to get her to demonstrate them, but Willow is still skittish about using magic.

Oh crap. Hey, I looked up the episode just now, and I was totally wrong. The name of the round-faced girl is Eve, not Molly. Molly, it turns out, is one of the Potentials introduced last episode (and is also in this one). Sorry.

Now, do I go back and change all the references to Molly, including my rant on how unsettled I am by that name? Or do I recognise that, had my recaps not been mysteriously wiped-out, that I likely would have just gone about my day, not knowing I had the names wrong until we watched an episode and Molly was in it?

Kids, Molly is really Eve. From this point on.

Andrew whines--even more than usual--that he's learned his lesson and wants to fight at their side. The gang finally unties Andrew, but threaten him with bodily harm if he betrays them.

The Summers basement is turned into a training room, but Eve questions what the point of any of it is, since they're all gonna die anyway.

Giles knows about an oracle they can go to for information about The First and the Ubervamp. He and and Anya go together to speak to the oracle, which (after a lot of steps to get there), ends up being a big bunch of eyes.

The oracle tells them that The First Evil cannot die, but has recently been given way more freedom than it has in the past. The reason for this was that the line of Slayers was disrupted. Disrupted when Buffy was brought back from the dead? Or when . . . she was brought back from the dead?

I believe it was the latter, as Anya feels that what the First is doing is partly her fault. It's an interesting idea, that's for sure.

Willow gets a call about another Potential who has come to town but not checked in, and Buffy and Xander head to the motel where she was staying. They find her, already dead, and discover that she is Eve, the round-faced drawler.

They head back, and reveal Eve to be The First Evil again, who was hanging out with them to find out their weaknesses and bring everyone down. This seems to have worked, as the girls are even more convinced they're dead meat now. Willow, Buffy, and Xander somehow communicate telepathically that they have a plan, but don't let the girls know about it. The telepathy thing is revealed later, very similar to something Joss did in "Astonishing X-men" which kicked so much ass, there's still a hoofprint on my pantaloons.

Spike is still suffering, and the First dispatches the Ubervamp (which actually has a species name--a Turok-Han--that I'm never going to use) to go kill everybody at the Summers place. The First's minions go along as well, surrounding the house.

Buffy hands out weapons, and Willow psyches herself up to use magic. When the Ubervamp smashes through the door, Willow puts a
bubble around him, and everyone runs out the back door. There's fighting with the minions, and before long, the Ubervamp pushes through Willow's magic shield.

Buffy splits off of everyone else (though I don't believe Giles and Anya are back yet) to lure the Ubervamp away, while Xander takes all the girls to a construction site, where immense lifts are set up, almost like risers for a concert or event. The Potentials (and Dawn and Willow) climb up them, but the Ubervamp didn't go after Buffy, but comes into the site like it's just arrived at a Sunday buffet.

Buffy arrives to fight the Ubervamp, and Xander turns lights on so the girls can see what Buffy is doing. Buffy gets severely thrashed, but she just keeps getting up, again and again, tiring the creature until she grabs a cable, wraps it around the Ubervamp's neck, and beheads it. Dust.

Exhausted, Buffy tells the girls that this is what the war against The First will be like: lots of pain, lots of struggle, but in the end, a triumph. "Thus endeth the lesson," she says, which I associate with THE UNTOUCHABLES, but is probably from some old philosopher, like Plato, or Socrates, or Sun Tzu, or Denise Richards. The Potentials begin to hope once again.

Spike, still tied and bloody, has no hope when he sees Buffy arrive in front of him. Only when she cuts his bonds and helps him up, practically carrying him to safety, does he accept that it's really her, that she came for him. The end.

Originally, I had a rant here about how Spike is no longer my favourite character on the show, but I don't think I'll write it again. It certainly has been old hat seeing Spike get tortured like that. I like that some of it was psychological torture, but for the most part, we've seen it again and again, the beatings and the cuttings, and even the swollen eye. He really is the closest thing we've got to the old-fashioned damsel in distress in these episodes, even being rescued by Buffy at the end. But I was glad to see it happen.

Both "Angel" and "Buffy" are doing lengthy arcs right now with a powerful evil stronger than they've ever faced before. And in both series, I'm wondering where Faith is in all this. I've heard people complain about the Potentials showing up in this season and stealing a lot of thunder, and we'll have to see if that's truly the case. The only thing I do know is that I spend way too much time on these things (especially this one), even though we're waiting twice as long between episodes.

I'll work on that.

The first thing, not the second.

Rish Outfield

*Dude, maybe it was directed badly. I don't recognize the guy's name, but I can't see why we would be mislead as to the phone conversation, and then have Buffy in a totally different location than right outside the Bronze, where she was established as being the last time we saw her. Besides, if the bouncer told her Spike came there every night, why wouldn't she have gone in to look for him?

**I guess we can assume that they're not human, 'cause a) Buffy kills them with no compunctions, and b) how could they see to fight with no eyes?

***Despite throwing poor Dawn around her house in "Conversations with Dead People" and breaking windows and running electronics. Hmmm.

****With this, I announce a moratorium on that little nickname. If I introduce him again, it will be as David "Next Up, Who's Gay?" Fury, from his line in "Doctor Horrible."