Lost at Sea!

This odd shot will be explained by the following poem! It was taken by a certain someone lying in bed!

LOST AT SEA!

I have two favourite hobbies;

One is eating; the other's chat.

I appreciate delicious food;

I'm a verbal acrobat.

So what better holiday for me

Than a round-New Zealand cruise?

Though I'm not too keen on Bingo

And I'm not too keen on booze!

Two thousand passengers on board!

That makes four thousand ears!

And all of them so ready

To be nabbed and bored to tears!

I'd tell them about my childhood!

And all my pains and aches!

The slightest bit of encouragement...

Yes..... that's all it takes!

And in between the chatting

I'd nibble this and that.

Making sure I ate the salads,

Avoiding getting fat.

Well, maybe just a scone or two,

And a second slice of cake,

And I'd rather like a couple

Of potatoes with my steak!

To say that I was ready......

The understatement of the year!

To eat and chat for fourteen days

And someone else could steer!

All went well for two whole days

Exactly as I planned,

Talking to this and that on board,

And eating on demand.

Then! Woe was me! A little germ,

Not anything of note,

Crept down the air-conditioning

And settled in my throat!

I lost my voice! I was struck dumb!

My taste-buds went on strike!

I looked with great disfavour

On the food I used to like!

A hacking cough developed!

People looked at me askance!

I know they longed for my company

But they couldn't take a chance.

I sat alone on the upper deck,

Sniffing in silent sorrow,

Trusting to luck I'd be myself

At least by the tomorrow.

But no! The microbe lingered on

Day after day after day,

No speech, no taste, I was a wreck!

This was some holiday!

But 'Always look on the bright side'

As Monty Python sings;

While I was on a diet

Some folk ate like kings!

Malcolm was into the pasta

And the extra currant bun!

He's put on three kilos!

I've actually lost one!