Gold-Digger!

A segment from another of my melodramas, 'Jewelled Jeopardy'. Maisie is a lady who can only be described as a Gold-Digger. She has recently married a rich man, but she has no intention of being a dutiful wife, in any way whatsoever! In fact, she is planning her husband's death! The melody, if used, is Post-1923.

GOLD-DIGGER!
Maisie Speaking.
Spoken introduction.

My duty, you say! Well that's a surprise!
I shall do what I like so you just get wise!
I may have been eager in Teneriffe,
But that fling, my dearest, was, luckily, brief!
I may have caressed you in Barcelona,
But, from now on, you will be a loner!
I may have looked lively when in Westminster,
But, in future, you'll treat me as a Spinster!
I may have been passionate on the cruise,
But now, my dear, I win, you lose!

Song: to the tune of 'I'm Gonna Wash that Man right Outa My Hair'.
I couldn't quite believe how silly you were!/ And how you handed over diamonds and fur!/ While all I had to do was cuddle and purr/ And hope for your demise!/ I've had a lot of practice with other men,/ That's why I always know just when to say when./ And this is'when', my friend. Don't ask me again!/ We'll never harmonise./ Don't try to pamper me!/ That'll just hamper me./ Don't try exciting me,/ Even delighting me./ On your bike and hit the road!/ Hey mister!/ I've won the jackpot and I won't do without!/ I'm a material girl, without any doubt./ So go to bed, my dear. I fear youre locked out!/ Forget domestic ties!/

From the start my eyes were popping/ At your wallet's bulging size!/ But, my dear,/ Now I'm here / It's the time to make things clear!/ You are yesterday's fellow!/ You've been cut down to size!/ I'll be off to do some shopping/ I refuse to compromise!/ Cut out charm!/ Grease my palm!/ I view you with some alarm!/ Learn the flute or the cello!/ I've been telling you lies!/ Oh yes! Oh yes!/

It was a simple ruse to get at your dough/ And, now it's mine, you'll find I always say 'No!'/ And, even though you'll say it's rather a blow,/ It's quite within the law./ Although your heart will bleed, I won't give a hoot/ For I would like to give this marriage the boot/ So long as I'm awarded half of the loot!/ You're just a man of straw!/ Don't try to wheedle me!/ That'll just needle me!/ Don't try extolling me,/ Even cajoling me!/ Just back off and leave me be!/ Hey mister!/ Now I've a house and home as grand as can be/ And I have servants who'll be working for me,/ I'm just as pleased as Punch for I am quite free/ To lock my bedroom door!/