But I don't wanna get up

Yes Riggs I know you do not want to get up. I don't want to get up and go to work but I have to in order to make money to pay for all your crap. So get up lazy butt and come downstairs so I can go to work please.

Difference of opinion

Riggs does not think he is spoiled.  According to him he does not have enough stuffed animals, food, treats, Nylabones, etc…

I showed Riggs the following photos and pointed out to him why he is.

So inspecting the photos I see the following which convinces me you are spoiled:

• You appear to be laying on a comfy king size bed
• You appear to be surrounded by multiple stuffed animals
• You appear to be chewing a Nylabone that you love

The conclusion I come to is you are definitely spoiled buddy.

AaaChoo!!!

Once upon a time there was a couple peacefully sleeping in bed.  It was still quite early as the sun had not risen.  However, there was some stirring at the end of the bed as the pug had woken from sleep.  He stood up and leaned forward and stretched and leaned backward and stretched then did a full body shake.  He proceeded to walk up to dada’s side of the bed and placed his head right over his face and...AaaChoo!  Riggs!!!  Gross!!!  Thanks for the lovely wakeup call of snot sprayed all over my face.  You drive me insane dog!

I think he is a robot

I am not really sure if Riggs is as much a dog as he is a robot.  Riggs is all about routine and schedule and never deviates from it.  Nothing ever changes.  His internal clock goes off at various times of the day or after certain order of events.

Riggs Schedule (Weekday)

• Wake up at 6:15 am and begin pestering Dada (aka lick lick lick lick) to wake up and feed me.  Proceed to do this for the next 45min to an hour till Dada cannot take it any longer and gets out of bed.
• Run downstairs as fast as I can and run around in circles as I wait impatiently for Dada to get my food ready.
• Stand there and whine and jump on Dada because he is taking way too long to get my food ready.
• Inhale my food as fast as I can, licking every last morsel from in the bowl and all around the bowl.
• Run back upstairs and grab a stuffed animal ready to play.  Begin whining if no one will pay attention and play with me.
• Go for a walk outside around the neighborhood, sniff all the light poles, bushes and as many grass piles as I can get away with dragging Dada to.
• Pee 3 – 4 times.
• Poo twice.
• Wait for Dada to give me a treat back at home.
• Lay down and begin sad pouty face to make Dada feel guilty for leaving me home as he leaves for work.
• Stand at door waiting for Mama to enter coming home from work.
• Run over and grab Angry Face or Pink Eye stuffed animal ready to play.
• Go outside and pee but then stand around and not poo.  I want to eat!!!
• Stand there and whine and jump on Mama because she is taking way too long to get my food ready.
• Inhale my food as fast as I can, licking every last morsel from in the bowl and all around the bowl.
• Run back upstairs and grab a stuffed animal ready to play.  Begin whining if no one will pay attention and play with me.
• Lay down next to Mama.
• Run to door when I hear garage door open and stand there waiting for Dada to enter coming home from work.
• Run over and grab Angry Face or Pink Eye stuffed animal ready to play.
• Go outside and finally poo and pee again.
• Stand under the table and lick lick lick lick Dada’s legs as he eats dinner.
• At 7:30pm, begin sitting or standing and staring at Mama and Dada waiting for one of them to get up and go get me a carrot out of the frig.  FINALLY at 8pm I get my carrot.
• Make a complete mess breaking my carrot up into tiny pieces and then eat it.
• Grab a stuffed animal and stand at the bottom of the stairs waiting for Mama to go upstairs to crawl into bed.
• Lay in bed and suck on Paris Hilton’s nose.
• Chew on my Nylabone.
• Play tug-a-war with one of my stuffed animals with Mama.
• Fall asleep.
• Act like dead weight and pretend I am sleeping when Dada comes to bed and wants to take me outside one last time.
• Pee once.
• Go over to Dada when he crawls into bed and begin lick lick lick licking him.
• After getting pushed away 4-5 times I finally give up and fall back asleep waiting for 6:15am to arrive to start it all over again.

Same spot every time

We got Riggs this nice big cushy bed for him to sleep in when we are not home but instead of taking advantage of the whole thing he lays down in the exact same spot every time.  Always on the far left side of the bed never moving to the middle or right side.  He has done it for so long you can see an indention in the bed where he has wore down the fluffy part.

It's a jungle out there

If you have not seen the Discovery channel's miniseries LIFE or Planet Earth they are both must see especial in high def.  LIFE was on last night and we were watching it as we lay in bed.  All the sounds of the birds and various animals were driving Riggs nuts.  He was watching the TV very intently jumping up and barking at the screen ever so often.  He was completely drawn in and mesmerized by all the odds sounds the animals made.

Animals are not the only thing on TV that will trick Riggs.  If a doorbell rings or someone knocks on a door on TV he is up and barking.  Also apparently some tones of scary music or the sound of babies crying on the TV will make him sit up to attention and bark.

Get up here yourself

Our bed is pretty high off of the ground and Mama was getting tired of lifting Riggs on and off of the bed every time he wanted up or down so Riggs now has his very own stairs so he can do it on his own.  Just like when he was a puppy, we are having to teach him to not be apprehensive about the stairs and that it is perfectly safe to go up and down on his own.  Although every time he comes down the stairs, he steps down on the first step and then jumps the rest of the way to the floor.  Riggs if you bust your leg I am going to wring your neck.

Do you have to lie right up against me?

Now that Riggs is sleeping in bed with us he has made it a habit of lying right up against one of us.  We have a king size bed so there is plenty of room but no he has to lie right up against our legs for some reason.  I typically change positions several times before I get comfortable and fall asleep so I constantly have to push Riggs out of the way so I can flip over.  Can you be any more suffocating dog?

Dead weight

Riggs falls asleep between 9 – 10pm each night.  I don’t go to bed till 11:30 each night and wake Riggs to take him outside one last time for the night.  Riggs is absolutely no help when it comes time to go out.  He just lays there stiff as a board hoping I do not see him and when I go to pick him up he make no effort on his part to get up.  He acts like dead weight.  Once I finally get him down on the floor then he will stand on his own (gee thanks for making the effort) and do a big stretch and full body shake. 

Great another snorer

Awesome, now I have two snorers to deal with in bed.  Mama snores and apparently Riggs snores as well.  Oh and Mama wanted me to be sure to write “Dada snores also.”  Can only imagine what it must sound like in our room once all three of us fall asleep. 

Dada loses another battle

Mama has been “nagging” Dada for 6 months or more to allow Riggs to sleep upstairs in bed with us.  I have been adamant that he is to sleep downstairs in his own bed and not in bed with us.  Mama and Riggs have finally worn Dada down and now both turds sleeps in bed with me.

Hurry up all ready

Riggs I am getting eaten alive out here and it is hot as crap.  Riggs knows when he is getting ready to be put to bed downstairs.  When I take him out for the last time for the night, he takes FOREVER to go pee.  I know that he has to be purposely delaying going so it drags out before I put him to bed for the night.  It is summer in Florida which means it is horribly humid and freaking hot even at 11:30 at night and the mosquitoes are feasting on me.  Go pee dang you dog!

Is Mama making Riggs gay?

It is bad enough Mama dresses Riggs up in ridiculous outfits during the holidays but now she has him watching showtunes!  I came walking upstairs and there laying on the bed was Riggs and Mama watching Hello Dolly.  Riggs was completely mesmerized by the TV.  I don’t know if he was just really into paying attention to the TV today or if it was the singing that caught his attention.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone.

Hopefully you were good and Santa brought you everything you wanted instead of coal.  Surprisingly Riggs did not receive coal but instead got a brand new bed which he proceeded to rub his face into.  I still think the little turd should have got coal but Mama is in charge of buying the Santa gifts.

That is not your bed dork

Riggs that is not your bed dork.  That is your pee pad in case you need to go while we are at work.  So clueless buddy.

Neck cramp incoming

The title of this blog post and the picture below pretty well sums things up for today.