The Land of Milk & Honey, But Not Marshmallows & Chocolate

I made a shocking discovery this weekend on Twitter, a discovery that conveniently continues last week's theme of s'mores and babies. Ok, maybe not babies. But the discovery could well make babies cry. American babies, that is. And it all revolves around what comes from this magical box.

Or what doesn't, depending on where you live.

No, that's not apple in my McDonald's pie, and it's not cherry either. That's marshmallow and chocolate.

Oh ya, that's a s'more. The only thing that could make these better would be if they were deep fried like back in the day. Remember those? I just had a full-body happy shudder just thinking about them. It's sad to think of all the people that will never know the joy of the deep fried apple pies.

*wipes away tear*

Anyway, write your congressman or congress woman. Write to your senator. Hell, write President Obama, my American friends, because you can only get these in Canada. And that's just wrong. Heck, that's un-American.

*burp*

RTT: Christmas, Cialis and the Olympic Torch

Liam: Daddy, can we play Star Wars Christmas?
Me: *narrowed eyes* Um... sure.

Ever wonder how they get the Olympic flame from Greece to the host country?


Carefully. This is the flame, divided into six separate miner's lanterns, leaving Athens on October 30th for Canada.



Random Tuesday. Really, you shouldn't need an introduction anymore.

Last week this guy in Toronto brought a Lego gun to work he'd bought on-line. This is a picture of him taken from a concerned neighbour across the street from his office.


Police piece together fake Lego gun case, after armed takedown

Once the heavily armed Emergency Response Team figured out it wasn't real they had a good laugh about it.

The temperature has dropped to zero here and it's playing hell on my skin. I feel like I'm molting. I put moisturizer on my forehead and by the time I finish my nose my head feels like a dry lake bed again. My hands look like I've been mummified and dug up after a millenium or two.

This is the Olympic flame at the Canadian Forces Station in Alert, North West Territories. Alert is only 817 km or 508 miles from the North Pole and is the "northernmost permanently inhabited place in the world."* If Santa needs to borrow a cup of sugar, this is where he goes.


The photo was taken at night, but since it's dark 24/7 there from October until March it may as well have been taken at noon.

Can somebody tell me how I close comments on old posts? The endless links to Asian porn were all funny to begin with but now it's just getting old. Plus, now I've started getting ads for Cialis in French and I can't figure out if it's a good deal or not.

The Olympic flame travelled 26,000 km (16,155 miles) by land and 18,000 km (11,184 miles) by air on it's trip around the country. Fittingly, it was only delayed once in Churchill, Manitoba.


Don't pick up hitchhikers.

The drive-thru lane at Mcdonalds should come equipped with gas jets. If you take more than three minutes making your order your car should be set on fire. I don't care if the kids are screaming. I don't care if you just received an important phone call. I don't care what your excuse is. It's McDonald's and it's the drive-thru. Know what you want before you get there. Fuck making correct change, fuck what toy the kids want for their Happy Meal and fuck arguing your bill at the take out window. If my fries are cold by the time I get home I will hunt you down and eat your heart.

Merry Christmas.

Go see the Un-Mom's for more merriment.


*Wiki

Olympic torch photos courtesy of The Big Picture.

Yesterday one of my co-workers mentioned that McDonald's was selling shamrock shakes again. Today, we decided it would be cool to go buy some. Now I'm slumped over my desk in toxic shock. Oh ya, I'm not eight years old anymore.