now i remember why I miss the old days so much.
because when we're young, we're spontaneous.
when we're spontaneous, we're free.

It was nice to see good old friends again, listen to stories, wondering how each of us have grown as we work towards our separate dreams. yes, gone were the days running and playing in the rain. gone were the days of staying up all night to talk about our dreams, our fears, our future. gone were the days of aimless walking, talking and wondering.

i've grown apart from my friends. i realised that since a long time back. along the long winding way, i've lost friends behind. i know there are some friends whom im no longer precious to as they are to me, and sometimes i think im being naive trying to hold on to the friendships. but through it, i've also grown to appreciate precious friends who remained. friends who keep you sane.

today aft a birthday celebration, we took a ride in a friend's car. we had a spontaneous trip to boonlay for supper and then a spontaneous ride to the far end of lim chu kang. through the air base, to the jetty. it was fun. perhaps it was the stillness of the night, or maybe the spontaneity of it all, it made me miss the good all days when things were young and free. when things were simple.

it's true. we're not young anymore. gone were the days where i would take that little bit of risk, have that extra bit of fun. maybe as i grow older, i lose a little more sense of spontaneity, i lose a little bit of courage, i lose my sense of freedom.

and then i remember tonight, how it felt like to be free. away from expectations. hidden from reality.

sometimes i grow sick of expectations from people around me. scholar. leader. speaker. maybe, maybe all i want to be is to be normal.

if only life would slow down a little.

on nights like this, i wonder a little.

randoms

"Perhaps the greatest magic of the human spirit is the ability to laugh, at ourselves, at each other, and at our sometimes hopeless situation. Laughter normalized our lives"
— Torey Hayden


two weeks of break=)
been reading, reading. Four books down.
I know i know.
But to me, reading is a luxury. Finally got around to purchase a few good reads. Jodi Picoult, Torey Hayden, Nicholas Sparks. Classics.

turning twenty-first in another week. so soon. time flies.

simplicity.

sometimes, i suspect that i may just be autistic.

i NEED consistency.
I NEED to know what happens next so it frustrates me when my plans get messed up.
To a certain extent I dislike physical touch/affection.
I am unable to express my emotions verbally. I usually write them out.
I dislike being in social situations.
I dislike adapting to new environment.

haha my sister used to tell me that when I was in primary school, i was so quiet, non-verbal, unresponsive. even till now, whenever something overwhelms me, i shrink back into that shell, that wall that I built for myself and stay in it.

maybe im a slow-to-warm-up child. HAHA.

but sometimes, i really just want to live in my imaginary world.