Monday, June 30, 2008

book of tears

You number my wanderings;
Put my tears into Your bottle;
Are they not in Your book?
psalms 56:8


as explained in the message version:
You've kept track of my every toss and turn, through the sleepless nights,
Each tear entered in Your ledger,each ache written in Your book.

i remember andrea mentioning about God collecting each and every of our tears
and daisy used to tell me about God sharing our pain with each tear that we cry
and today, i found the promise in the bible=)
andandand i found a poem written by Caryl Ramsdale
on this bible verse=)

TEARS IN A BOTTLE
Like the pages in my bible,
That record my family tree;
You've recorded all my troubles,
In your book of tears, I see.

Here's the time I found my true love,
Happy tears shimmered on my face;
So sadly. I lost that loved one,
You received all my tears with grace.

You wrote down the birth of my child,
Prideful tears glistened in my eyes;
And when he (she) caused fear and sorrow,
You took my tears each time I cried.

See the star beside my new job,
You blessed me and I walked tall;
I got stubborn, went my own way,
You caught my tears, I took a fall.

All my tears are in a bottle,
My bible says you put them there;
To remind me of your presence,
Each time I shed tears in despair.

sometime when i feel so alone,
i think of the one who loves me most=)

Thursday, June 26, 2008

happy happy birthday yus=)


happy eighteen birthday yusnizah=D

we're two random and crazy people
maybe that's why we're best friends!

it's always nice to talk to darling yus
cus despite not being able to meet up with each other cus of our crazy schedule
just catching up online with this girl will drive me nuts=D
our girly things!

hahas=) in fact yus was the very first friend i made in secondary school
we've really been through alot together
can say that we're really friends who stick through the thicks and the thins
through the heartbreaks and the tears
the smiles and the laughters

wahh just thinking about those days make me miss sec sch sooo much
lol. standing at the corridoor greeting smiling waving and looking at CERTAIN people=)
throwing letters through the classroom window to a certain someone
her random punches and funny sounds that she made in the middle of lessons
sharing locker and discovering interesting things in the locker
her witnessing the birth of flurry and the teacher asking if flurry is a rambutan XP
her occasional sabotages like the valentine day in sec 2 -.^ LOL
and our random promises and bets with each other
=)
memories are so sweet aren't they?
hahas=)

supposed to meet up with the girl tmr.
but our schedule cant meet again=(
BUT ITS OKAY!
we'll meet up soon soon soon iduncare we MUST!
yups=)

once again,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY nizah=)
mel loves you!


flurry loves you too!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

frustration

i was SO SO close to explosion today XP
attachment is becoming such a nightmare
whatever happen to the innocence of children
maybe its just the centre.

i miss my previous centre sooo sooo much=(
i miss my WC, yanling's E
all my nursery kids..
the toddlers and the K2s who should be in pri 1 now
i miss my ex mentor
=,( even though the centre is located rather ulu pandan-ly
but seeing the children always make it worth it.
comparing what i used to think was chaos
now i think is nothing..

time passes lk snail during attachment now
and I duno how im going to survive the next two music lesson
the next semester back at the centre
classroom management skills, problem-solving, everything just don't seem applicable in singapore context.
and it leaves me so desperate like today.

im really beginning to wonder if im really cut out for this
i love children.
but perhaps, educating them isnt for me.

haish~
but I thank God for carenet today
even though i was late..
but the songs and the people and His presence
really calms my frustrated heart today.


headache.

sometimes, i wonder why im doing all these for

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

random=)


I want a kaleidoscope=)

went pass mega playground today
they blocked up the area already=(
no more swing for me T.T
so sad! it was lk my quiet solitary play area
there it goes. still, i hope they renovate and replace the previous swing with a BIGGER swing=D

hahas. and now over with swing.
i want a kaleidoscope=D
i think it's really interesting
and pretty. even till this age, i am amazed by how it works
the shapes and the images forming at the end of the tube is lk
so amazing=)
HAHA ok. im being random=P

but since im already random, i shall continue being random=)
thanks to hazelnutty i got my jelly bracelets!
yay! placed my orders with jolene today in class
online shopping is lk soooo addictive T.T
self-control ya. lol
we were both so tempted by the wooden bracelets as well
butbutbut LOL budget constraint eh.
im still a lil' tempted though XP oh-oh
hahas
anw=) managed to meet up with hazelnutty and june during the hols for lunch=)
and talked to garfield kenneth for lk 5 mins? haha
so nice to see them again. hahas. i really miss miss those bunch of red cross juniors of mine=)
gathering after Os?

anyway. project sucks to the max=(
i was sitting in a restaurant on sunday evening at SENTOSA
overlooking the sunset.. the beach.. the sand the sea
fireworks from this nearby duno what thing..
such wonderful and relaxing atmosphere..
yet i was stressing over my projects T.T

i seriously think i have no life now=(
im going to library
borrowing books books books.
im becoming a nerd! O.O NO NO NO!!


bubblewrap my heart<3

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

hot day



today is such a warmwarmhot day!

but pretty cool too.
woke up early to do project
met macy julie and jolene at the 2nd busstop
we went over to mega to do a project on the playground
LOL. it was SO hot T.T although it was early morning
hahas=) anw, that's the only playground left arnd my area with swings.
im sooo gonna miss it if it's really going to go under renovation=(
i should make my way there one of the days soon before they start renovation works

but, they really should do some maintenence to the playground
it's practically falling apart. not safe at all
i rmb someone telling me about some children falling off the platform thingy then got blood T.T ewwww
and.. i rmb walking pass it several times after a heavy downpour. its practically flooded. and gross.
but.. i like that area.even though it gets scary there at night. hahas =P

made our way to farmmart after the visit to the playground
apparently the bus comes at every hour. so we stuck ourselves to Sasa and then watson, looking at makeup, perfumes and nail polishes=P
hahas=P showed them the MOF Japanese sweets and coffee shop at lot1 too
so tempted by the food =X
but seems $$ LOL=P but i wanna go there some time=)

yups. farmmart was..
HOT. and.. itchy.
smelly. LOL
okok. me macy and quek are definitely not suited for kampong/village life
plus the spider that landed itself on julie's hair doesnt help
the place was sooo empty.. so unlike the one i had in my memory=(
the stalls were lk closed. and the prawn prawing (fishing sounds inappropriate) area looks prawnless.
the animal farm was kinda disappointing.
they only had tortises, bullfrogs, rabbits, guinea pigs, rats/hamsters, two goats, 2 parrots.
its really different from the one i visited in my memory XP
werid. LOL
anw, me and julie caught the goat shitting T.T
SMELLY.. but the shit is lk M&Ms =D
lk brown M&M spilling out frm the ass.
am i grossing you out=D

haha=P the bullfrogs were scary
but.. the trip was worth it cus..


hahas=) they remind me of the Chipmunks somehow..
cute =D

i kinda miss having a pet
though i used to have goldfishes, random fishes
rabbit.. hamsters..

kinda wish i could have a dog=)
but there are many responsibilities that comes along with it
hahas=P i used to be SUPER SCARED of dogs..
and im still learning to overcome this fear..
cus i believe there are still nice dogs arnd=)
like SUGAR=D ms christina's yorkshier terrier above
such a sweet dog=)
yups.
and i lk golden retrievers=)

Saturday, June 14, 2008

randomness


had a weird weird dream last night.
something missing.
something empty.


how come i don't see you around anymore?








oh no=(
one week of hols passed and now im left with one more week
T.T i gotta stop procasinating and start doing my projects.
lol. but all i can think of now is rest rest break=)

anw, it findly got into me to prioritise.
yahyah. i am considering quitting dancesports afterall.
HAHA. nah.. ain't "giving up"
because it was really enjoyable..
just that.. i gotta learn to make use of my time productively i guess?
yah. considering the fact that year 2 sem 2 and year 3 modules look horrendous.
XP

anw, taken a sudden liking to electric guitar song pieces=)
found this song in one the song folders.
i'm alright by neil zaza
http://youtube.com/watch?v=VZc0Ln9DTKQ
=D its an amazing piece. hahas
ohoh. another advertisement for my younger sis. hahas
she did another video.
=)

Thursday, June 12, 2008

my laptop

ouch ouch~

lol. firstly, i must say a BIGBIG thankyou to julie and aaron! HAHA

today has been a super eventful day. LOL
yups. i finaly figured out how to work my MSN again=D so yay!
haha. BUT
today as i was happily watching my drama,
my lappy suddenly went "piak" and BOOM. my screen went black =(
then i started smelling weird smell..
HAHA. it was sooooo scary!
i thought my lappy will explode or something T.T
called julie.. my personal IT consultant.
and she said that something probably burn inside=(

SO, i had to go down to acer XP
hahs.. i was rather siannn.. cus ytd just dragged aaron to school to reformat my lappy and downloaded all the stuffs back
SO YAH. LOL
was worried that my warranty wasnt working and stuffs.
then its gonna cost me a bomb..
but thank God, it was under warranty and
yups! I GOT MY LAPTOP FIXED.
and thank God, all my files are still in here
yups=)

THANKYOU JULIEEEE =) for being nice enough to be dragged out by me at such sudden notice. hahaha AND
julie's nose is amazing. she smell my lappy. and said "confirm is motherboard"
AND SHE WAS RIGHT.
amazing=)

hahas=)
but guess what.. on the way back to the MRT station..
i actually fell =.=
and i was just telling julie to be careful..
HAHA.. and my first instinct was to pass my lappy to julie when i fell
and rather her first instinct was to grab my lappy from me
LOL.. i mean i just fixed my laptop, NO WAY im going to let it spoil =P
and the result..
a bad injury=(
i now have this three four ugly lines on my leg =(
duper painful.
yucks.

reformat

woah~
my lappy feels a little screwed. i mean. okay fine i just reformatted it and added the stuffs..
BUT MY MSN ISNT WORKING.
my windows thingy seem to have "closed the programme for safety" purposes
T.T
so its screwed.
and apparently my "windows update" proclaims that i have 63 items to update
-.^ its ggonnaaa take ffooorreeevvveerrrr

ahahas.. and im feeling so lost now looking at the rather ugly background..
and yes. i feel so lost with my new folders and stuffs. =(
still trying to transfer back my files..
oh man. i feel lk a stranger to my darling lappy now =(

i miss my old memory. LOL. it was only the bluescreen that was irritating..
AND I NEED MSN
i feel sooooo lost

and yes shit. i got to download all my softwares..
itune T.T my players.. T.T
and somehow.. my window explorer looks weirdd...
it looks.. elongated.. Hmmm
and what happened to my mozilla firefox...
not that i use it.. but..
WHERE. LOL..
as a computer idiot.. i declare that i hate reformatted lappy=)

hahas. yesyes. im whining i noe=)

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

i want to TRAVEL

it's the TWO WEEKS BREAK!
like at last=)
long long awaited.

tests and projects are killer.
and sadded sadded, my "holidays" are already packed with school stuffs
lol=) so yups. i was telling deon that day that if you want to date me, you have to book me lk two weeks in advance
HAHA =P yes! im nutty busy. LOL
so whatever time im free with is spent for self-quality time watching drama=D
preparations for Project RedCross Love 08 has already started too
so my schedule will get pretty crazy soon.
crazyyy ~* LOL
but yah.. been trying to occupy myself with stuffs to get my mind off certain things
bleah~
which reminds me about the "prioritising prophecy" i was given.
it was freaky. but really really cool(^^)

yups. so recently i was in my disappearing act
MIA according to aaron =P
but you know, sometimes i wonder how it will be like to go somewhere far away to start anew.
was fantasising to ms jhope jus now. i want to get away to somewhere far..like Japan.. Paris..and maybe marry some cute japan or hot french guy =D
or maybe like wad deb say. HAHAHAH marry some rich old dying man..
LOL yeah right. LOL. that's deb's fantasies=)
but i wanna do some travelling, visit places.
afterall we only have one life time to spend. I dun want to stay in singapore for the rest of my life T.T

ya.. and on a random note, during DLE lessons that day, the lecturer was talking about not having swings in the new playgrounds. in fact we can barely find swings now.
i think that swings are actually a good way to relax and to just feel the wind brushing against your cheeks and to let go of your thoughts.
its a good way to get away too yah=)

so, i want to get away. for a while at least.
i really really need a break.
i wanna go somewhere farfar away!
hahaas =) but thats just a fantasy of course.
im at least stuck in singapore for at least the next 5 years?
unless i miraculously struck some free trip overseas or i get super smart to get a scholarship to study overseas. LOL
yahyah. dream=)

but it would be really nice.

i wanna go far far away.