Fat Camp and Scanning Mania

So, on Saturday my husband and I "got our house in order." Since we didn't take a honeymoon (yet), there was a room full of plastic cartons to go through. Now there are only 5-6 which will be tackled at a later date.

Part of getting it all in order made me realize that I got the most important goal accomplished this year (marriage), but have neglected some of my other goals.

So, this summer now has new focus - Fact Camp and Scanning Mania.

I am letting my husband have the extra bedroom as an office. Part of that "offering" was giving up the closet where I kept my journals, scrapbooks, supplies, etc. To light a fire under my own rear, I put all of the closet contents in my dining room.

I know - messy, eye soar, crowded, inappropriate. And that is exactly why I did it. It will force me to go through each carton, scan the contents and then throw some of them away.

Along with this project, I need to lose weight. I've been sitting about 10-11 hours a day lately. It is crazy. It messes with your metabolism. It makes the weight near impossible to get off.

Sooooooo.....we made up our own fat camp posters last night. We'll be doing all kinds of exercises overe the next three months and focusing on eating better.

I am going to take a week off from work mid-July just to ensure July is a bionic month. That same week will include two or three hours of scanning a day so that I remained balance in my goals.

I'm kind of excited. Around Thanksgiving every year I typically take the week off just to do projects and such, but I've never done it in the middle of the summer.

This year I've actually wanted to have a summer and so this is one way that I'll get it!

So, I'll show periodic updates to these two items just to make sure I'm reporting out to cyberspace on process.

I can't wait!

Addictions and Such

So, I quoted this on my bloggerpickle blog the other day, but just read them again since I was pondering a bit about addictions and such after our LDS general conference:


"Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to talk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ , because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means - the only complete realist."
-C.S. Lewis from Mere Christianity Book 3 - "Christian Behaviour, Ch. 11 - Faith"
 

During conference, I made a cake. I ate quite a few pieces until a speaker started talking about addiction right when I started into my fourth piece!  So, I know very little about goodness in the food department. So, now I have cake anonymous to add to the cookies anonymous, brownies anonymous, peanut M&M anonymous.......

But, isn't this a beautiful quote?

When Guilt Sets In...

This is the point the guilt set in....

However, the first half of the cake was shared with a friend.

This part was thrown away just to increase self-esteem since self-control took far too long to kick in.

Addiction Recovery Program

Some family and friends have told me about this amazing program that our church has focused on overcoming addictions. I've seen changes in the lives of those that have participated and I'm thinking I'm going to ask about being involved in it myself.

In the meantime, I found the link to the basics of the program - http://www.providentliving.org/content/display/0,11666,6629-1-3414-1,00.html - and it has the actual manual available for download.

I guess you don't even have to share what your addiction is or if you even have one and so it makes it a safe environment to learn, discuss, practice and grow.

Anyway, thought I'd share since I had a conversation with my friend Ann today and when I brought this up she said she had heard of it, but I don't ever hear of this talked about much in actual church meetings. Maybe hanging out in primary for a few years hasn't helped, aye?

Ice Cream Anonymous

Well, somehow I overdosed on ice cream today. Obviously, I haven't been listening to my hypnosis CDs because the bowl color was red and the color red is supposedly supposed to be a trigger for me NOT to eat bad stuff.

Alas, my addictions keep switching to different convenient items. I will say, however, that I did refrain from purchasing cookies and graham crackers at the grocery store the other day. Unfortunately, the filler product was ice cream and thus the mad dash for the refrigerator after work.

Does it count that I put assorted nuts in it so there would be more protein?

Hmmmm. "The color red, red, red, red, red...." (That is what the guy says toward the end of the CD)

Get found kid - Get found!

So, a relative sent an email the other day about addictions. The relative shared about a group that is available at our church. The group talks about addictions and gaining a testimony through Jesus Christ to work through these types of things - or at least deal with addictions.

I really enjoy emails like this for a few reasons.

- It makes me realize all of the resources our church has for it's people
- It makes me realize that all of us should be at these types of help groups, but obviously everyone is not ready at the same time to go through the experience
- It gives people permission to feel like they are not alone and would have support to get help
- It shows the importance of sharing trials/challenges in a meaningful way with others
- Many other things I can't think of right now

At the drug and alcohol treatment center I worked in at the Provo Jail, most of the people were there involuntarily. However, once in a while someone would come in that truly wanted to change. Those people were brilliant. They often looked different than the rest of the people because there was a strength and will that the others didn't possess. Those people always inspired me to do a little better, try a little harder, etc. It didn't matter that we didn't have the same addictions or weaknesses because the same principles for overcoming, or living with, were similar.

The 12 step program is amazing and applies to so many areas of life: http://www.12step.org/

Also, when I read the email I thought of many of my family members and friends that are in need. But, most of us don't realize it. I was reminded of a story from the All I need to know I learned in kindergarten book. It was a story of kids playing hide and seek and how one child "hid too well" and the game went on and on and all the kids forgot about the kid hiding and they all went home. The man telling the story said he just wanted to go outside and yell "get found kid, get found!" He further explained that some people he knew suffered in silence through cancer or other illnesses. They decided not to tell anyone and died before anyone knew what really was wrong. Everyone wished that they had been told about the illnesses so they all could have been in it together.

The author suggested that it would be better if we all learned how to play sardines rather than hide and seek. In Sardines you hide with the person you find and at the end of the game everyone is all hidden together in a big jolly group.

It was a powerful little story showing that we are all here to help each other. Today I had another reminder of this when Reeno emailed/wrote on her blog that she had appreciated all of the support she had received after writing about her experiences with PPD at http://rc3w.blogspot.com/.

P.S. I won't mention that the only time I played sardines was at college and I had to go to the health center with a sprained ankle, but hey...at least everyone knew about it and it created friendship and conversation. (-:

Relatives - all or nothing eating habits

One of my many cousins just moved into town for a few years and I was invited over to their family abode the other night for dinner.

Nathan and Nichole have quite the cute little family and I enjoyed talking to them about the past and actually meeting most of them for the first time. The last time I saw Nathan he was leaving on a mission and that was about nine years ago.

Anyway, I brought a lot of cookies and such for dessert. This is when I found out that there is a genetic trait in our family - we have no self-control over ourselves when it comes to cookies and other treats. It's an all or none thing...mostly all. Basically, once the bag or package is opened it's completely likely that the objects inside will not last overnight. It doesn't matter how big the package is either. It's just a race to the finish.

My brother Craig was disturbed when he was at my house a few years ago and found a package of cookies with only one cookie left. He stated very firmly that "no Clark would ever leave one cookie" and so it couldn't possibly have been me that had last eaten from the package.

It was amazing to me to find out that this runs through some of my cousins as well. Perhaps we can be studied so our future generations won't be plagued with this frustrating gene.

Or, perhaps we can just all start listening to the hypnosis CDs that I've forgotten to listen to this week....

Graham Crackers Anonymous - relapse

It happened again. I relapsed. I went and purchased some cookies for a family gathering and picked up a couple boxes of graham crackers. They were purchased Saturday night. Both boxes are now gone...as well as over half a gallon of milk. It's a good thing the cookies were left at my cousin's home. They would be in my stomach as well.

I think I'll go on a walk and it will make things better. Would anyone like to be my sponsor? Someone I can call when I am tempted by cookies, graham crackers, licorice and an occasional brownie?

Klondikes Anonymous

Well, my cookie and graham cracker woes have come under control, but I purchased a huge Costco box of Klondikes right in the middle of my supposedly effective hypnosis efforts. So, yes, I'm eating less of other food, but ate an unhealthy number of Klondikes this week.

Here goes Klondikes anonymous. Hopefully my next additiction will be carrots. Then I'll be skinny and...orange.

Hypnosis - first week or so

When I lived over by GMU a few years ago there was a brick office complex nestled right next to our apartment building. Sometimes I would take a short cut through the office parking lot to get to class and I would notice a sign announcing services for hypnosis in regards to weight loss and overcoming smoking addiction. It always intrigued me, but I never had the guts to go in and check it out.

At that time I was doing the virtual Weight Watchers thing were I kept track of what I ate each day, the number of glasses of water I drank and how many minutes I exercised. When I was serious about it...the plan worked great. I just didn't like having to pay a fee every month for the rest of my life. In hindsight it would probably have been worth it to stick to it.

This year I really do need to lose weight. So, I conducted an Internet search and decided to buy some hypnosis CDs.

Part of me has always associated hypnosis with Las Vegas, crystal balls, dark rooms and weird gypsy type women that work out of little old houses on the side of main roads in every major US city. I always wonder how those ladies pay for their lease. After all, has anyone seen anyone walk into those places?

Anyway, it is obviously nothing like that. You lay down on a chair or the floor and you are taken through a half hour session of relaxation techniques, number counting and positive reinforcements given to you while you are fighting hard not to fall asleep.

It's fairly interesting. I've been doing it for about two weeks (a big break in between for Memorial Day weekend), but I have lost 5 pounds. The interesting thing is that I sometimes get this weird lump in my throat when I'm eating food that I know is bad for me. I end up eating less.

There are four CDs and they say to do one a day each day until you get to your desired weight loss. I have a feeling that I will have to keep doing this every day long after I lose the weight. After all, like Prozac, one must not stop doing what was done to help prevent the addiction, sadness or whatever it is.

I'll have to keep track of my progress on the blog. If it really works, I'll share the source. Until then, it does not deserve mentioning. After all, the five pounds could be a fluke. At my height and size, I can go up and down that much easily every day.

Random Thoughts - from other people

Isn't it interesting how different people make a comment here and there and you end up having a certain emotion, insight action or feeling based on what they've said? This pretty much happens everyday, but I don't stop and think about it too much.

Like just today, someone I know said that they didn't know what they would do if they hadn't discovered "Google Reader" to organize their search of the internet. So I of course looked it up and am going to start using it.

Or, I was talking to my sister-in-law Jessica about ADD and eating and I thought maybe I'm not aware of how much I eat. For some reason the thought stayed in my mind and I came home and ordered some CDs that are supposed to hypnotize me into food consumption control. Ha. Well, I figured it was worth a try! I lived by a place in Fairfax (Harrison and Ann may remember) that had a sign offering hypnosis for smoking or food addiction and I was always tempted to go see if it was effective. Those places should have concealed entrances ...just as should weight loss centers, spas, laser treatment places and tanning salons. It seems they are all wide open with huge windows for everyone to see people going in and out.

A guy stopped in my office the other day and started to talk about "The Last Lecture" a professor gave after he found out he had a terminal illness. I came home and watched it and found that it , along with other feelings and experiences I've had over the last month, helped me get back into writing notes and taking more time for people.

My boyfriend planted the thought that I should go to graduate school when I was content to move along in jobs that were ok, but not in my real areas of interest. I applied, was accepted, and finished before I realized what I had gotten myself into. I even earned a 4.0 to my own surprised because I had been more concerned with finishing the projects properly than what grade I would receive.

Some of the kids I teach on Sunday pipe up with comments on how I should discipline them, what they think of the lesson, and with interesting ideas that I often incorporate in my next lesson with them.

It's amazing how our daily interactions, whether virtual or physical, have an impact on us in some way. Sometimes the littlest comment or observation can make pivotal changes in our lives. Hopefully the comments that come from my mouth help and don't hurt. Yes, I know that sometimes they hurt and later I always regret what I've said.

Perhaps this quote should always be above the desk, the tv, the fridge, and the door:

"Sticks an stones can break your bones, but words will break your heart." I might add that it should have another half that includes "but words will heal your heart" or "but words will inspire your heart" or "but words will change your heart."