Tuesday With Malcolm

On FaceBook, I've been participating in the 30 Days of Thanks. It's kind of fun for me to think of something I'm grateful for each day and then share it with my friends. I should probably do it more often.

Last night, I got a much-needed night out. Dan and I took a drive down the canyon to Salt Lake City, where we met up with Chris and Kim. Just as I was backing the car into the parking stall, I looked over and noticed some friends of ours also parking their car. We all had tickets to go listen to Malcolm Gladwell speak at Abravanel Hall. So the six of us went out for some delicious authentic Italian pizza. If I could remember the name of the place, I would tell you. But it was so good that I will definitely be going back and I'll remember the name of the place then. My pizza had kalamata olives, artichoke hearts, and prosciutto on it. THAT I remember.

After dinner, we all walked over to Abravanel. Fortunately for us, we were able to cut through the convention center and stay warm! We went to pick up our tickets at Will Call, and while we waited in line, Ann Romney and her son got in line next to us. She looked right at me and smiled. How cool is that?

Malcolm Gladwell is one of my favorite non-fiction authors. I think he's on that list for a lot of people. It was so intriguing to listen to him speak. He told the story of larger-than-life (though only 4'11") Alva Vanderbilt, a wealthy New York socialite who ended up being a major figure in the women's suffrage movement. He used words like opulent and festooned and dictatorial and goldenrod. Don't you just love words? Gladwell is the best at weaving a true story into something of grandeur. 

At the end, he talked a little about his new book, and mentioned that the last two chapters are about faith. "The miracle for me," he said, "was that in writing this book, I found my faith again." He went on: "I was raised in a Christian home, and I strayed from it. And in writing this book, I realized I was missing out on something." There was a palpable silence in the hall. He mentioned the story of a woman who was able to forgive a man who raped and murdered her daughter. "I think faith allows people to do extraordinary things they would otherwise not be capable of."

And so today, I am thankful for faith. Yes, it allows me, an ordinary person, to do things I would not otherwise be capable of. It allows me to look and see and feel and stretch and reach beyond myself. It guides many of my decisions; especially the important ones in life. It comforts me when I'm feeling lost and confused. It offers me reassurance that there is something bigger, more knowledgeable, more powerful than I can begin to imagine, guiding me along, ensuring that the right people and blessings cross my path just when I need it. And something I've learned: faith is like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it gets.

Malcolm Gladwell said that at Alva Vanderbilt's funeral, her casket was carried by 20 female pall bearers. Three songs were sung, the last of which was written by Alva, herself. I don't remember the exact words, but being a feminist, they spoke of how no man, not St. Peter himself, would have a say as to whether or not she got into Heaven. Instead, the angels would herald her arrival by shouting, "Here comes a Daughter of The King."

Faith tells me I am a daughter of The King. And THAT is extraodinary.

Thank You!

As a personal rule, I believe in being positive. I really don't see the need for negativity; mostly because I'm lazy. It takes way too much effort to be mean and vindictive or an all-around sourpuss. It's just easier to be nice. Remember the penguins from the movie Madagascar? Smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave. 

Also, I believe that like attracts like. If you're generally happy and positive, you will attract generally happy and positive people into your life. Before you accuse me of being all Pollyanna-like, I also have a healthy respect for reality. Sometimes, reality does in fact, bite. Tough things come along and make you wish you were somewhere on a faraway tropical island, sipping slushy drinks on the beach.

This week, however, is not about the tough things. This week has been all about the good things; the highlight of which was seeing the word "author" next to my name. Author!!!! My novel made it to the quarterfinals, which is the most I was hoping for. Anything after this will be the icing on the cake.

Also, things are plugging away for us to move into our new home within the next several weeks. We've lived here in the beautiful mountain tops for five years, and we are excited to finally put down roots and have a place to call our own.

Beyond that, the weather warmed right up, and I got to take a drive in a convertible -- and there's hardly anything that makes me giddier than sunshine and a convertible (except of course, seeing the word author next to my name)!

BUT (and this is the biggest thing this week) as I shared on Facebook all of the good things that happened this week, I was utterly humbled by all of the friends who were genuinely happy for me; at how many people offered sweet sentiments of congratulations and well wishes -- even people who were possibly as ecstatic as I was. Texts, e-mails, hugs...I was the recipient of all of this positive energy this week.

And to all of them, I can only say, thank you.

What an affirmation of like attracting like.

I know, and I mean KNOW, that my friends would rush to my aid when the tough times hit. But how much sweeter it is to know that they are there in the good times, too.



P.S. I have dubbed 2013 "The Year of Yes." We're making good thing happen up in here!

Courage.

For Christmas this year, I decided to make gratitude journals for my husband and kids. Each book is entitled, "365 Things I am Grateful for in 2013." I thought it would be a fun exercise for us to do together, finding something to be grateful for each day this year -- and acknowledging it.

I thought I would share what I was grateful for yesterday.

Yesterday, I got called in to my old school to sub second grade. It's the first time I've subbed since before the shooting at Sandy Hook happened. Yes, that event hit especially close to home for me, as it did, I'm sure, for every other teacher in America. I'll admit, it was on my mind as I pulled into the parking lot. As I entered the classroom, I took note of little things, like how this classroom was exactly three doors down from the office; like how the door opens out to the hall and not in to the room, which would take an extra bit of a second in the event of a lock down. Also, how there was no way to lock the door from the inside. I also noticed that the wall between the hallway and classroom is made of cinder block, and how that was a good thing.

But then the bell rang and the kids came in, and we talked about what Santa brought them and the difference between summarizing and retelling. We added two-digit numbers and played "I'm Going to the Moon." We stayed in for recess because it was EIGHT degrees outside and we learned about electrical charges. All in all, it was a really good day at school.

And so, the thing I was grateful for yesterday was courage. I never thought of teaching school as a very courageous thing to do (that's usually reserved for the police and firefighters and customer service reps at Target). But yesterday, it took a little courage for me to walk into a K-4 elementary school, in a small town, with a close-knit community.

And I was grateful I had it.

Love 'em. Always Have. Always Will.

So on Facebook, I've joined in with the crowd posting daily status updates of things for which I am grateful. I figured today's thing deserved it's very own blog post.

Today, I am thankful for cars. There. I said it. Yes, it's a material thing. But anyone who knows me, knows I love cars. Why?

For starters, I used to work on our cars with my dad. He taught me how to change my own oil and check my lug nuts. We replaced the clutch on his '75 MGB. Once, he even had me stand by with a fire extinguisher while he welded the fuel line.

Ah, memories.

And that's the point. My dad and I built a close relationship because we spent so much time together beneath the hood of a car. He told me stories about his 1964 1/2 Mustang. After a day of grease monkey-ing, he'd take me to 7-11 and buy me a Slurpee and a classic auto trader magazine. Man, I spent hours staring at the pages, picturing myself behind the wheel of a '57 Thunderbird or a '55 Bel Air.

Cars are also what launched my writing career. Every writer will tell you that they were always a writer, and I am no different. For me, cars just happened to be the first thing I ever got PAID to write about. Because of it, I have had some pretty amazing adventures. I've driven a Toyota FJ Cruiser along the San Andreas Fault. I've flown on the Ford corporate jet to their proving grounds and spent a day driving the F-150 all over the desert. I got to ride in a Lexus stock car with a professional race car driver, where 210 miles per hour felt like melted butter. Oh, my heart is racing just thinking about it!

Beyond that, a car is a miraculous thing. The internal combustion engine -- a common thing anymore, but what an idea. Add a turbo charger, modify it here and there, bore this, plane that, and pretty soon, you are the envy of every car lunatic in the world. My favorite car lunatic story is that of Hau-Tai Tang, who, as a young Vietnamese boy, fell in love with a Mustang delivered overseas to the army base near his home. After the war, his family immigrated to the U.S. where he continued his love affair for the car. Mr. Tang grew up and became chief engineer of the 2005 Mustang project.

I mean, how cool is that?

Finally, to me, it's all about what the car represents. It's not status or success; it's freedom. It means I can get behind the wheel, pedal to the medal, and go anywhere I choose -- even if it's just to the grocery store.

Tell me this isn't the sexiest car you've ever seen. 

(And people think I love James Bond for the acting).

One Day...

So yes, today, I am thankful for cars.

Happy Birthday, Jett!

Yesterday was a bit of depressing day. You know, just one of those days where nothing goes quite right. As I laid down to sleep last night, the last thought that went through my head was this: We have bad days like this so we can better recognize the good days.

Well, when I woke up this morning, it wasn't hard to recognize that this was going to be a GOOD day. I was absolutely delighted (and quite surprised) to find out that my newest little nephew decided to join the world at 2:42 a.m. -- two weeks earlier than expected!

The kids and I drove to Salt Lake City as soon as we could and gave that baby some love!

When my brother, Anthony, was born, I was in second grade and I took him to school for show-and-tell. This blog is now the closest thing I've got to show-and-tell, so here he is!

 Jett Anthony Alvey

Doesn't he have the sweetest little face?

Charlotte, Tony, and little Jett

Can we all just take a moment and be jealous of Charlotte and how good she looks, just hours after giving birth -- WITHOUT drugs?!?!?!?!?

I'm so glad that my brother and his wife moved to Utah and had a baby! I am going to spoil that kid rotten! For those of you who like stats, I can tell you he weighs 6 pounds 3 ounces and he's the same length as two plastic forks laid end to end. We measured. It was very scientific.

Thanks for a good  fantastic day, Jett!

Holy Moly! I Quit My Job!

Today is the first day of kindergarten. And I'm not there! It may be absolute insanity to quit your job in the middle of one of the worst economies in history, but I had to do it. During this absolutely fabulous summer, in which I hiked, camped, boated, and swam, there was a little thought nagging me. But I ignored it. The thought kept nagging on, and I kept ignoring. Then it was time for teachers to go back to school. I told myself I could do it. By day 3, I knew what I had to do. So I did. It was tough. But once I made the decision, oh what relief I felt! The nagging thought was, "My kids first. Other people's kids second." Not that I don't like other people's kids. I do. But I love mine the most. And I know what you're thinking. But it's not the case. I leave before my kids do. I'm often not home before mine get home. I very often bring my own work home, making me unable or too tired to help them with their school work. In other words, I was putting it all into my job and not saving much for them.

Six years. That's how long I have until my daughter goes to college. We've lived in Utah for six years and the time has flown by like THAT (imagine finger snapping). When I told her I quit my job, she threw her arms into the air and cheered. That was all I needed to know I'd made the right decision.

As I drove my third grader to school this morning, he was almost giddy that he was in the front seat of our Tahoe, rather than on the bus. "This is so awesome," he giggled.

My kids first.

Beyond that, I feel so liberated! My mind is swimming with possibilities. I get to volunteer in my kids' classrooms. I have lots of time to WRITE. There are two pieces of furniture in my basement that I'm going to refinish. I'm going to figure out what the heck that noise is coming from the rear end of my car. It's like the Renaissance is starting and I'm the one holding the paint brush. SWEET! The possibilities are endless. Thankfully I have an awesome hubby who is a much harder worker than I am, and is supportive of whatever I do.

So it's a little like starting over, but in a really, really good way. I'm refocusing. I'm re-prioritizing. If we end up needing the money, we'll find a way. I saw this quote a while back, and I am inspired:

"Your journey has molded you for your greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don't think that you've lost time. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. AND NOW IS THE RIGHT TIME."

**yay!**

Let's Hear It For the (Tom)Boys

If I haven't mentioned it before, I was a major tomboy growing up. Like Kramer told Elaine on Seinfeld, "You're a man's woman." I didn't date much, but I had lots of "guy" friends. We played tennis, worked on cars, watched ballgames, and generally did lots of cool stuff like that. I even helped THEM get a date or two. During my trip back to Arizona, I made a point of seeing a few of those great guys.

This is my friend John. We sat together in Senior English and made wisecracks about anything we could think of. He is also a major baseball fan, and here we are last Saturday at a Diamondbacks game. John is one of those genuinely nice guys who would do anything for a friend. He gave one such friend a kidney.

This is my good buddy Chris. I don't really remember not knowing Chris. He's a year younger than I am, but in school somehow, that didn't really matter. He was a fellow trumpet player and we marched together in band. He also loves cars and we spent a lot of time daydreaming about our ultimate driving machines. In high school he drove a '55 Chevy Bel-Air. It was hands-down THE coolest car in town. Today he works for Volkwagen. Go figure.

This kid here is Tommie. Again, I hardly remember NOT knowing him. Tommie was sort of like my protector (one of the many). Our senior year, there was a certain guy who came along that I really, really liked. I mean like liked. Tommie and another one of our friends, B.J., took this guy out to lunch and laid down the law. To this day, I still don't know what they said to the poor, unsuspecting dude. Well, the dude turned out to be a dud (big surprise) and Tommie saved the day by taking me to the senior prom. Little surprise today, Tommie is serving as the bishop of his ward in Mesa, Arizona. For my non-LDS readers, that means he is the leader of his congregation. In other words, he takes care of and protects everyone around him.

This guy here is Dan. The one I said yes to. The one who embraces my tomboyish ways without the slightest sliver of jealousy.

As an adult, my girlfriends are the ones I lean on, but in my youth, it was the guys who shaped me. On vacation I read "The #1 Ladies' Detective Agency." This quote rang true for me: "You can go through life and make new friends every year - every month practically - but there was never any substitute for those friendships of childhood that survive into adult years. Those are the ones in which we are bound to one another with hoops of steel."

What are YOU Grateful For?

During this week of giving thanks, there are many, many things for which I am grateful. I'm surrounded by people I love, who love me back. I have everything I need, peppered with several wants. My kids are happy, healthy well-adjusted kids. My husband takes good care of me and we share lots of laughs. I have a good life, you know?

Right now, I'm especially grateful that I can be thankful for good friends. I know there are people out there whose lives are so frantic, so dysfunctional, that they're simply in survival mode. They're so bogged down by their issues that they can't even think about having friends, let alone having time for them. Friends are a luxury they just can't afford. For me, friends are a necessity that I can't afford not to have.

Whenever I'm in Houston, I make a huge effort to visit old friends. I grew up in Arizona, but Houston is where I became a grown-up. My kids were born here. We bought our first house here. The friends I made here were a huge part of that becoming-an-adult process. Two nights ago I stopped in on a girlfriend, Liz. It had been a couple of years since we last saw each other, but as she bear-hugged me at the door, time and distance became irrelevant. A few minutes later, her sister (also my friend) Jen showed up at the door. Four hours later, our cheeks ached from laughter.

That's what good friends do. We laugh ourselves silly and love each other no matter how much weight we gain or what kind of mental trauma we cause our kids.

My life isn't a piece of cake. It's the whole dang bakery. And friends are the icing.