Fun Monday

For Fun Monday, Sayre asks us to write about:

What was the most touching, wonderful part of Christmas for you this year?

AND What was the craziest, stupidest, funniest part this year?

OK. I need to warn people. This is not going to be a real happy Fun Monday post. When I signed up....well, I was hoping....but some things were just not meant to be.

To try to be up-beat: the stupidist thing? Our family Christmas eve game. You know, some families have traditional games. Things like opening a single present (or all the presents), going down memory lane, etc..... Mine doesn't. My father has been ill, and Christmas eve, the blood pressure cuff came out to make certain that he wasn't hypotensive as he was complaining of being dizzy. His vitals were fine. We were all in the formal living room, trying to make small talk....and then the game started: who has the lowest blood pressure? The blood pressure cuff traveled around the room. My niece and I tied, both with blood pressures near 100/55. And then, the competition began. I have always been able to lower my pressure some by relaxing....with a few tries (and going WAY into zen mode) I got my pressure down to 88/55. The eighteen year old won the game with a drop to 85/50. Yes, she was still mentating. I guess we could have included the rest of the family by trying to see who could lower their pressure the most from a basal level....still, kind of stupid, eh? Sitting around trying to get the lowest blood pressure reading without passing out.

Unfortunately, it doesn't go up from there.

I will not add up how much money I spent at emergency vets. However, he veterinarian community of Baton Rouge owes me. Big time. Merry Christmas guys and gals! You really deserve it (wonder if I can get my vet to give me a large bottle of activated charcoal to take along on my next vacation....).

The most touching thing is bitter sweet. As people who have been reading this blog may know, my father has metastatic lung cancer. He has walked his joureny for over 29 months....we are truly blessed having beaten the median by a good many months. Most of those months have been quality months.

Last week, my father became acutely confused, requiring hospitalization. The feared brain metastases did not materialize, but neither did an explanation for the confusion. He was sent home on Tuesday, still confused. When I traveled to my parent's, I was hoping that the delerium would left as rapidly as it came, but that was not meant to be. Having Christmas with my family was truly a blessing this year, yet it was also sad -- my father was there, but not there in the way that I have always known him. The puppies seemed to ground him, and I was glad that I could give him that joy. I hate that he seems to be aware of his confused state, yet unable to "pop" out of it. The mind is a mysterious and wonderous thing.

Update, the blind wigglers have eyes!

I am amazed....no, floored at how rapidly the puppies grow. About two days ago, the blind wigglers got eyes. They are beginning to crawl up on their legs, although they have a propensity to roll. Gabi has been a great mother, although she seems to crave "adult time."

The puppies at the bar:

How big!

Eyes, day one:

Fun Monday: Life Highs....

Mariposa asks us to write about 3-5 highs in our lives.

When I read this assignment, I thought, "Ahhh, no problem. Sign me up." Next time, I'll think harder.

It's pretty easy to come up with 3-5....I'm one of those over-educated people (i.e. I couldn't find my path in life so I stayed in school for a long time). Each time I graduated or changed direction and was actually accepted in a school or training program for the next segment of my meandering road to where I am now, there was an incredible thrill. As a person who had (or still has) some self-esteem issues, I was thrilled (no the appropriate term would be shocked) that I had managed to make the next turn in my life's journey. However, a list like this is a little boring

So, the big thrills?

1. Graduating from high school. I don't have a picture, but it was a huge thrill for me. I come from a family where education is highly regarded. Graduating from HS was expected, and a minor milestone in my family, but for me, it meant I was on my way. In my mind, I was finally an adult (ahh, the misconceptions of youth).

2. My first car. Another rite of passage. In my family, one was given a car for completing college. I chose a Toyota Corolla hatchback with sun-roof. That car was mine for the next 13 years. That care gave me independence (with good gas mileage on the side). I wracked up 167,000 miles on it with the maintenance that a graduate student could afford (not much). I replaced the spark plugs for the first time at 105,000 miles. The mechanic told me he didn't see any functional surfaces, but the car had still been running (For some reason, he seemed to be laughing hysterically when he called me to ask when I had last replaced the spark plugs....never?). That car was a good one. They just don't make like that anymore. Of course, when I replaced it, I hadn't realized what a rough I had been experiencing. Those sorts of things creep up on you.

3. Graduating from medical school. This day represented the end of my official schooling, although I still had about 7 years of training ahead of me. When I was in college, I dreamed of medical school, but I lacked confidence. Graduate school prior to medical school gave me that confidence (and also convinced me that medicine was my calling). The medical school road was a good, but bumpy one. I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer during my first year. The regular stresses of medical school combined with hormonal stressers....was... interesting (I need a "big grin" emoticon after that one). My treating endocrinologist hooded me at graduation. His picture is to the right. Amazing what one can find on the internet. Note to self: need to scan in some of those graduation pictures.....

4. Buying my first home. I have printed pictures but not many digital pictures. This house was over 50 years old and 1100 square feet with 3 bedrooms (small!) and one bath. These days, it would be advertised as a "cottage." Owning a home meant that I could finally have a dog: something that I had wanted since leaving home. The house was an odd thing. It had been owned by a "contractor" who had jerry-mandered lots of things (oh, the stories I heard from the neighbors about some of the "contracting."). The house had the original tile -- yellow with black trim. At first, I hated that, but grew to kind of like it over time. It was just the right size for me and my 4-legged kids.

So those are some of the thrills.

Finally, for those of you who are dog lovers, I recently experienced the miracle of a litter of pups. The has certainly been a high for me, although I realize that it must pale in comparison to having a child.

Having pups may take more intestinal fortitude than I have -- Gabi failed to dilate and so had to have a c-section. Unfortunately, I HAD to be a work, after being up with her through the night. Through the support of several people, all went well, and Gabi and pups have been doing great. Despite having a c-section, Gabi has bonded well with her pups. She left them for more than 30 seconds when they were 3 days old. We went to the whippet ranch and she knew that she had been left behind (and was not pleased). For those interested in wasting 3:30 minutes watching blind wigglers....click the link (By the way, it is the same one that is on Gabi's blog, so if you have seen that, don't bother. Hopefully, I'll have a new one in a few days).


Now, go check out the others on the list:

1. Beedancer 2. brocasarea 3. Grace 4. Hootin Anni 5. ChrisB 6. SWAMP~WITCH aka: Swampy 7. M (the misanthrope)

8. Mamalang 9. IamwhoIam 10. KarmynR 11. Swampangel65 12. Sarah 13. HulaGirl 14. Jan

15. Faye 16. celeste 17. iPost 18. Margaret, Soon To Be Mama 19. BS 20. Melanie 21. You're next!

Blind wigglers

I am truly amazed at how much time I can spend just staring at these blind wiggling puppies. After 3 days of constant attention, Gabi finally left their side for more than the most rapid of runs outside to take care of business. To be honest, it scared me....I thought something was wrong, but I think she finally realized that the would be OK....for 10 minutes!

I have given them temporary names. Just place holders. Sweets and Katie are nearly identical, although Katie is the smallest in the litter.
At times, I think they haven't changed much, but then I watched a video that I made of the puppsters...they have truly filled out in the past 3 days. I can see them moving faster (oh, my....). They swim across the whelping box.

BTW, warning....I have told that the desire to gaze gets worse when they have eyes that are open.

The wait is over!

After what seemed like an eternity, the puppies made their entrance at about 11 am yesterday. Gabi had gone into labor over 24 hours previously. She started hard labor at about 7 am, but didn't have a puppy after 3 hours so was taken in for evaluation. Unfortunately, she required a c-section.

I can not tell you all the relief that I felt when Gabi was back home with her kids. She was groggy for a while, but almost as soon as she woke, she started licking and tending to her new crew of 5: 4 girls and one boy. Although going into this, I wanted a girl from the litter, the little boy has the mark of his mother (white head, with a patch around an ear). Only time will tell. Check out Gabi's blog for a photo album.

Waiting

This was supposed to have been the weekend that Gabi had her puppies....but nature has chosen not to have that come to be. She is looking rotund, but according to people "in the know" still has a little bit of a tuck up suggesting that the puppies have not moved back.

Dogs, like humans, have a slight variability to the length of gestation -- that accompanied by the fact that sperm can live in the reproductive tract for a few days before ovulation occurs makes for some variability that is "normal."

Last week, she had many of the signs. A temperature drop which got me excited but did not persist. Discomfort, and inability to sleep at night (which translated into my inability to sleep at night. When I left work on Friday, I knew those little puppies were coming soon. Last night. I was relatively confident that they weren't coming, yet. Last night, she seemed to sleep better than she has in ages. I, however, can not sleep.

Yesterday morning, all of the girls went into a chewing fest (btw, Gabi has yet to do a nesting thing). It was kind of amusing -- the girls all lined up and chewing on something....aggressively.

But back to Gabi. I joke that she isn't having the puppies until she farms out the unpleasant aspects to Mati. Somehow, she got Mati to have the morning sickness. Proof to my theory is the the last picture which was taken last night. Note how she is lying on the couch with her legs UP in the air. Yup....she's trying to keep those puppies in until she makes Gabi appropriate arrangements. Sad thing: I don't think Mati is signing up for this one....

Today, I was out just taking fun shots of the dogs and I got this one. It is far from perfect, but somehow, catching old man Darby from behind appeals to me. I thought I was going to lost this dog when he was 5 years old. He went into liver failure, and on biopsy had extensive cirrhosis (scarring of the liver). The liver failure was an acute process on top of a bad chronic one. Interestingly, through some dietary and supplement adjustments, he is doing better now than he was last year....and he is now 9 years old.

Gabi continues to grow. She looks a little bigger every day. Right now, comparing her to friends whippets at the stage she isn't looking HUGE. I am hoping that she has 4 puppsters inside....but only time will tell.

Sometimes.....

You know, I always thought that I would grow up, get married, and have 2.5 kids. Somehow, in the midst of going to school, being shy, going to school, being shy...that just never happened. I am OK with that. I have replaced the concept of husband and children with a bunch of very lovely dogs who love me unconditionally despite my hellacious work schedule. Sometimes, you just have to adjust.

Sometimes, the lack of a man around the house does have it's disadvantages though. Although it would be nice to have a trailer to use as I travel the country with my dogs, I have always maintained that I don't want to have more vehicle (or attachments to my vehicle) than I can manage. This philosophy on life has served me well..

Now that I have the property 12 miles from my house, I do need a utility trailer to transport my 1000 lb 48 inch mower (read mower from hell....but that is another story). This weekend, Atwoods, a local home and ranch store, had a sale on utility trailers. Four different flavors were available : light weight and heavier, 5 x 8 foot and 6 x 10 foot. After much measuring, and the advice of a good ol' boy waiting in his truck, and I chose the "heavy" construction 5 x 8 foot trailer. Although the trailers were all chained, I had picked up the hitch and rolled the trailer. It seemed light and manageable, and the good ol' boys warning about flimsy tires had me very worried about the lighter weight trailer.

Buying the trailer has actually taken days and days. There are so many things that I didn't want to admit that I don't know/understand. Simple things like how to use a hitch. But I had done my surveillance, nonchalantly examining the trucks in the parking lot at Home Depot and Atwoods. I came prepared with the appropriate size ball on my hitch, I knew where the electrical connections were. Who said that this city girl can't figure stuff out?

I bought the trailer. Although I have never towed a thing in my life, I drove the thing home without cutting anyone off or mis-gauging a turn. My plan, until I get a storage shed, was to keep the trailer in the garage, next to Daisy, with the wagons and mower stored on the trailer. I cleared out the garage....everything seemed to be going well. But all plans like this have to have a flaw.

1. The driveway. It has an incline. It may be mild but it is there.....

2. The garage. The floor has no traction.

I was pulling the trailer up the driveway, when suddenly, I just didn't have enough weight to pull it up. I tried to stop, but the trailer was slowly dragging me towards my brand new pick up truck. In desperation, I manage to turn it so that it lost momentum. While trying to hold onto the trailer so that it won't start moving again, I reach for some bricks to put behind the wheels. Sigh. I went inside,to let my quaking muscles stop quaking and tried again. Sometimes, despite my determination, I just don't have strength for some activities. Cursing myself for being the weaker sex....I was stuck. What to do? Call someone? Possibly, but I don't want to do that every time I need to use the trailer.

Hmmmmm.

What does any woman do when there is really a problem?Change shoes!! That's the ticket. Sometimes, it is OK being the weaker sex.... (OK, I am using some literary license here...this is not the way I deal with most problems in my life).

Yup. When the tough don't way enough, just change shoes.

I was wearing old running shoes. No traction. I changed into my newer running shoes -- they have these columns that give nice cushioning when I run, but they also gave just enough traction for me to haul the trailer up the driveway and into the garage. It's all about having the right shoes....or is that the right equipment. Without a lot of sweat, some not-so feminine grunting, and acquisition of blisters across the palm of my right hand, I did get the trailer IN the garage. Everything fits!

Of course, right now I am having some pretty crushing chest pain. I figure my ribs have separated from my sternum in protest of the heavy labor (believe me, it IS musculo-skeletal pain).

I'm thinking that shed that will allow storage of the trailer and mower without an incline....that needs to happen, soon. The other option would be to back the trailer into the garage. But this is one girl that knows her limitations....and backing up trailers is not on my list of approved procedures.

Sometimes...it pays to have the right shoes. Really.



For anyone who is interested, Gabi probably is in whelp (or is having the worst false pregnancy, EVER. Pups are due in two weeks, but she has started writing in her blog, which she gave up last spring (something about me being too busy and hogging the computer).

Introducing

Some of the guys. The whippets are still banished from the land as there are cow-types roaming. However, I must admit that the cow-types are handsome in their own kind of way. Introducing Mr. 370. Is he not just a HUNK?

Then, there is poor Mr. 836. He's having a bad hair day.....and nose day....and, well, he just wasn't thinking he was going to do a photo-shoot when he got up this morning.

Despite the ruffled look, he is kind of cute, no?

Poor Peanut

Peanut was here for a purpose, which he achieved....maybe. Only time will tell. He was here to breed Gabi.

The whole breeding process scares me. I have never bred a litter of dogs. Gabi is accomplished on the race track so despite her lack of eye pigmentation, I think she deserves to be bred. I fear something happening to my Girl Goober. Because I believe that waiting too long likely makes pregnancies more difficult, I am breeding her this year (age 4). Now, the breeding of Peanut to the Girl Goober....well, I caught that one. This will be a litter of nuts.

Poor Peanut had to make it through this to do the deed:
The faces of Gabi can be quite interesting during "that time." M-hmmm. Quite interesting.

Peanut pined. He refused to eat for a few days and then would eat only hand fed food for 3 days. I was embarrassed to send him home. He was a shadow of his former self. I think he should bounce back quickly, though.
There are a lot of different reasons for choosing him. Although he hasn't been a runner, all of his littermates who are running have excelled. He is Mati's littermate, and I have lived with 3 from this litter for various periods of time and they all have incredibly similar, sweet personalities. Finally, there are some genetic reasons for going with him rather than his brother Stoli, who has been running.

So, if puppies happen they should be here in November....the nuts, the hurricanes (the first tie occurred on the weekend that Ike blew through our 'hood), the giving of thanks......so many themes. But are there puppies? At this point, if there are puppies, I will be happy. If there aren't puppies, I think I will be relieved (although a little disappointed).

I have never bred a litter before now. I am not liking this process. This is day 35 post breeding, but I still can't tell that Gabi is pregnant. According to this on-line calender that i found two weeks ago, I should have been able to palpate the embryos. Not. I just got a bundle of muscles. There are signs like nipple enlargement that mean little to me as my girls usually have this with their false pregnancies. This week, I am supposed to see waist thickening. I THINK we might have it, which is why I am finally posting. Maybe. But, I am not sure. So if you see a picture of Gabi in two weeks and she looks like she always does: false alarm!

Things that make you go, "hmmmmm....."

As I have written previously, I am trying to go "green." My attempts have been modest: I purchased a car that gets 35 mpg, I am recycling my paper, plastic & glass (which has decreased what I put curbside by about 75%). As I consider getting ridden of my allergen permeated wall to wall carpeting, I am probably going to go with carbonized bamboo. It looks nice, is renewable (believe me, I have seen how hard it can be to get rid of that bamboo), and has an excellent hardness rating.

Recently, I was reading an article in Science magazine about biofuels. I had heard, what I believe is likely an urban legend, that biofuels burn less efficiently and that they tear up gaskets in cars. This article suggests that they burn more efficiently. However the very disturbing information was that grain-based biofuels, under their current form of management, may be causing more environmental harm! Due to tilling crops, with the burden of soil erosion, the need for fertilizers, etc. this may be a source of increased global warming.

PEOPLE! We need, no HAVE to start thinking in this country. The incredibly detrimental impact of fossil fuels on our environment has been well documented. Why would we choose to up-ramp another fuel source, that will potentially increase the global warming effect? Oh, yeah. It's easy.....fail.

The article goes on to describe cellulosic ethanol. This is a type of biofuel produced from the structural material that compromises the "mass of plants" -- the corn stalk, grasses, woodchips can all be starting material. This has great promise since the starting materials are potentially in much greater supply than that used for grain based ethanol. For reasons that are beyond my brain this morning, although this material takes more processing to get to the sugar monomers that are needed to ferment the alcohol, cellulosic ethanol is predicted to reduce greenhouse emissions by 85% over reformulated gasoline. Also, it can be made from sources that be grown without annual tillage, thereby reducing soil erosion and helping preserve soil integrity (without the need for toxic fertilizers). Actually, it sounds like something that might be grown on the less fertile land that we have in my area.

As we go forward, we need to think about our choices. As I watch the current financial debacle, I see a panic response to something that was predicted over 9 years ago when the subprime mortgage business started (there was an interesting article in the NYT written in 9/99 predicting the bailout that is now underway; I must admit that they didn't envision the magnitude of the bailout). It seems that there is a panic patch being applied to something that many were writing about and suggesting for the last several YEARS. We can not afford to apply the same panic response to our environment. That being said, we also can not afford continue to stick our collective heads in the global sand and do nothing....which seems to be the approach that our government has perfected.

Just my 2 cents...probably shouldn't be writing in a sleep deprived state, though.

I tried to poison the dogs...

Obviously, not really. I would never poison my dogs. But I was a bad owner. Very bad.

I had taken the girls (Gabi and Mati) into work to take care of some last minute business before the weekend. I left them in the truck as temperatures were cool. When I came out, they had chewed into a container of fire ant bait and eaten bait..... my heart stopped. I drove home as fast as I could and gave them each a big dose of hydrogen peroxide. In dogs, that will induce emesis (unfortunately for us, I know this from other experiences with not-dog appropriate ingestions). Both girls threw up a moderate amount of the bait. I called my vet, who told me that they should be fine....not believing that, I called a friend who is a vet and works at veterinary school. Unfortunately, we were beyond the bewitching hour, when most had gone home, but she was able to access some articles that I had been unable to find. After a frantic series of calculations (I just can not do math when I am freaked out about my dogs), we determined that they dose that they had received, assuming that they hadn't thrown up was quite small and would not hurt them in a one time exposure.

Still....it had my heart going. I think the ant bait is made with corn meal as a carrier, and dogs love all things corn (at least mine do). I try to keep my home and yard safe....it's always that time when one just happens to let their guard down (or forget about that 3rd container of bait).

A new ride or it is all about fitting in.

As usual, we went to the property for some running time. Since our last visit, I traded in the Toyota Sienna (a vehicle that I NEVER liked during the 87,000 miles that I clocked on it; however, it was good for the dogs) for a Toyota Tacoma. The Sienna just wasn't cutting it for driving across the pasture.
There is just something nice about going to the property. I think it is the smiling dogs. I will never tire taking pictures of smiling dogs.
We had a good time running around, although the grass was quite tall. I have got to get a trailer so that I can take my mower up and mow an area for tennis ball chucking.

The dogs seem to like the truck, although Hudi seems to think that I should have gotten the running boards. Thank goodness I didn't get a Toyota Tundra! Yup -- I'm thinking about getting a hat and boots, next. It's all about fitting in! (I noticed that when I was out on the land with the van parked, people would slow down and look. We didn't drawn any attention today!)

Whippets can kill

This afternoon, I was doing the random internet wander. While looking for cool whippet sites, I ran into a blog with the heading "Death by suffocation: How whippets can kill you." I clicked, imagining a nice satire on the potential death by whippet (you know, how whippets defy gravity and weigh 100 lbs when in bed with you while only being 32 lbs with all four feet on the ground, etc.)
Instead, it was a blog about the noxious effects of inhaled substances. Now, I agree that inhaling things out of a can, whether it be paint or Cool Whip isn't good, I was really disappointed. After all, whippets can kill. Ask Charlie (the dog who always seem to get the bottom layer in the pile).

We have survived....

Ike came through our neighborhood, and we have survived. My heart goes to those who did not do so well.

In the beginning, they were predicting tropical storm type winds, possibly hurricane force when it hit my 'hood. Well, I think Ike was still a TS, but it's punch was not very hard at all. There certainly was concern in the beginning.

I called a friend from high school Friday evening. We grew up in Baytown -- a town much closer to the major action. Her parents, who still reside in Baytown had finally decided to evacuate. The reports that they were receiving were not good.

On other notes, I have had a visitor for the past week. Peanut, who is Mati's littermate brother. Can you see the family resemblance in the photos below? (I would have had to crop them differently to make them show up the same size....feeling lazy on this Sunday).

I hope that thosewere or who had family in the direct path of Ike are doing OK...

I have joined the digital age, kind of....

A couple of weeks ago, I trekked into the Big City. When I first moved to Smalltown, I traveled to the Big City at least once a week....I don't know when I stopped, or when I began to DETEST the process. I hate going there, but occasionally, it is a necessary evil.

My new car was scheduled to arrive in a couple of weeks (she is here now...), and so I wanted to check out portable MP3 devices. I went to Best Buy.....my, I am OUT of the loop. So many cool, cool gadgets. I finally settled on an I-Pod and got a FM transmitter so that I could play it in my van.

How did I miss this fad? I know that my niece has gone through 4 of these things. How did I think that these were only for the young? This is one of the best devices that I have EVER acquired -- ranks right up there with my first PC and my first lap top! Right now, I am converting all of my CD's to MP'3 (or whatever format IPod uses). Ahhhh. I have sort of caught up. For the moment.

The next in our reach for success series

We went out to the property yesterday. The dogs had a great time. We have received 3.5 very welcome inches of rain in the past week, and more is predicted this weekend (hasn't come, yet) and coming week. The ground was soft. The predicted high was only 84. As, I wrote....the dogs had a great time.
Mati added to her REACH for Success series. The picture is a little out of focus, but I couldn't resist:Yup, the girl is a tennis ball FIEND.

When we arrived, the bovine unit was at the south end of the property. However, they couldn't stand not knowing what was happening, so after about half an hour, they lumbered to our end. You know, despite the fact that they still kind of scare me, I am beginning to think that they are really cute.
Gabi, of course, was still called to her Herding Dog side, and several discussions with the cows about their location on the fence line. Apparently, she does not like being watched when she plays tennis ball retrieve.
Hudi, not to be out-done by Gabi, also tried a little policing. I don't know if you can tell, but this cow was not really listening to her at all. Hudi rapidly succumbed to fear and well, kind of gave up with her tail between her legs.
I don't know what it is, but I really like seeing cows living on land that I own. And, yeah, they are BIG animals, but really cute.....

Fun Monday: a prized photo or pocession

This week's Fun Monday challenge is hosted by The Lurchers and she has asked us to do the following:

Show me your favourite photograph and tell me why it's your favourite. It can be one you've taken yourself or one someone else has taken, a snapshot or a more professional image. Is there a story behind it? Do you love it for the memories it gives or just because it's pleasing to the eye? Show me and tell me!

I haven't participated in FM for a while, but this one seemed easy and fun (a few of the more recent ones have been HARD :D).

Certainly, as the years have gone by, my favorite photo has changed. Most recently, this has been my favorite: The photo is a picture of Gabi, the Girl Goober. She is about a year old at the time that I shot this, and we had been having a ball chasing fest out in the backyard. She was happy, having been running around, doing her thing, and I think that the photo captures that. Whenever I see this picture, I feel a nice little smile inside.

Now, for much the same reasons, the following two photos will likely also hit that same "This Pictures Just Makes Me Smile Inside Gallery" soon:

Both pictures have some technical faults but who cares! What can I say? I am just a sucker for a smiling dog!

Hug your hounds! Visit the other participants in this Monday's FM at The Lurchers.

Happy Birthday, Dubby-Dawg

Yesterday was Darby's birthday. He turned NINE YEARS OLD. He's doing well. Four years ago, we went into liver failure. The vet told me it was likely cancer, but given his young age, recommended a biopsy. Sure enough, it wasn't liver failure. He had significant liver scarring ( source unknown) and a bacterial infection in the portal system. He recovered -- his liver functions have been stable, but whenever we do labs, each time, his platelet count it lower, which tells me that probably, the liver scarring is worsening. After the episode of liver failure, he never quite recovered, but with time, he has slowly gotten better....he's just slow.

Every time I take Darby to the vet, some other problem is diagnosed. He has a very bad back-- probably some sort of disc issue, but because of that his back legs are slowly atrophying -- one worse than the other. He also has a severe heart murmur. Occasionally, the back pain flairs. A few months ago, I was concerned because it became so severe that he couldn't get up, and was obviously miserable. I believe that it is our role as guardian of these animals to make certain that they don't suffer unnecessarily. However, even though I was picking him up to take him outside (causing pain), his eyes were always bright. Today, he is doing well on his dose of Rimadyl. He runs slow zoomies. He even gets up on the couch to sit beside me, something he doesn't do when he is feeling poorly. He occasionally finds a nearly spent toy and wacks the tar out of it (Darby always liked to take rope toys and shake them so that they bang HIM in the head). He was the gentle alpha of the pack. With time, Gabi has taken over that role. However, when Darby is feeling good and wants in on a little Fun Police action, Gabi lets him.

Darby, you have been the best! Sorry I didn't realize that the name "Darby" was unisex applied primarily to the female side these days. May you have many more happy, pain free days!

Palliative care

A weekend ago, I traveled to my parent's home to visit. Dad had been hospitalized for the first time since his diagnosis of cancer (2 years ago, now), except for a couple of short stays for blood transfusions. He had developed horrible stomatitis -- inflammation of the mucous membranes including the gums, esophagus, and likely, the stomach s well. The inflammation had gotten so severe that he could no longer talk or swallow anything. Because he was unable to take some of his other medications, he had a few other complications beyond the pain and dehydration. Stomatitis is a potential side effect of chemotherapy, but for some reason, for my father, it was far worse than one would have ever have predicted for this particular regimen. His oncologist suggested that it was a viral infection. Perhaps, but I also realize there is much that we don't understand about medicines, and our bodies response to them.

My father has aged tremendously in the past 6 months. He has done far better than would be predicted. I was feeling great that we were "beating the curve" (so to speak), until I went to ASCO this year. For non-smokers with stage III/IV lung cancer the median survival is 18 months. So we were are still beating the curve, but the question begins to surface, "is it worth it?"

I believe that "palliative" chemotherapy should be palliative. In the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the first definition for "palliate" is: to reduce the violence of (a disease); also : to ease (symptoms) without curing the underlying disease.

In the world of oncologic care, unfortunately, often the palliation comes at a significant physical cost. The toxicity of chemotherapy can be much greater than the toxicity of the disease. My father certainly experienced that with this last round of chemotherapy. Is it time to stop? That is a very hard concept for most cancer patients until they become extremely weak, and even then, the families frequently do not want to stop. My parents are not ready to cross that bridge, yet. I think the time is coming, soon.

I have seen time and time again that people can live longer without aggressive intervention than they do with aggressive intervention. The body becomes weak from the ravages of chemotherapy as well as the underlying cancer. At this stage, our treatments for cancer are poison. Even the majority of the "targeted" therapies have significant downsides. We try to kill rapidly growing cells without creating too much toxicity for the "normal" cells, but that's why chemotherapy has so many side effects. I often try to explain to people that they need to have an energy reserve to take chemotherapy, so that they have the energy to recover from the toxicity of the chemotherapy. People often cling to the idea that the next regimen will be The Cure. Our media showcases the extreme. This frequently participates in the drive that people use to pursue treatment far longer than they should. If Joe Smith had a miracle when he was on his death bed, why not me? There is no answer to that question. I have to believe, that when life does not go in the direction that we would hope, that there is a plan beyond us. So many people view the decision to move to symptom targeted treatment, i.e. treatment of pain, dyspnea, etc, but not treatment of the underlying malignancy as giving up. I don't think so. Living with cancer is never giving up.

In the end, there is one truth: Cancer Sucks.

On the good side: while visiting my parents, I met a few angels. One was a neighbor, that my mother met while dog walking. I totally impressed by her generosity. She showed up at the door having been to the farmer's market with a collection of fresh vegetables. Later in the day, she called. She was at the grocery store and wanted to know if my mother needed anything. I would have been happy to have made that grocery store run, but it was nice to be able to stay at home with my parents. When someone is sick, these simple acts can be huge. Later, a member of the my parent's church called. She was asking about my father, how much he was eating. In the end, she volunteered to bring over a custard -- perfect for someone whose mouth was not tolerating a whole lot.

Hug your hounds, and hug your humans. Think about the neighbors. Simple things can mean a whole lot.

Ahhh, the cleansing rain

This has been the week of major change. First, the “cold front” dropping temps from 105 to a nice, cool 95. Amazing how previous experience changes perspective.

Last night, we got some rain….it has been weeks since we have had rain. The ground is hard and cracked. Several days, we have had dark, heavy clouds overhead, only to have the rain fall south of us.

Although this rain will make it hot a muggy, there is a sense of renewal after a rain. The grass greens…life begins, again.

I didn’t run yesterday morning so was determined to do run today. Unfortunately, the clouds opened up 5 minutes into our run. Whippets are great in SOOOooo many ways, but they really do have a phobia about getting wet. (I have heard that it is something about the Great Ancestor that did melt in the rain. Myth of reality? You decide.) Since the dogs were stopping to shake off moisture every 15 seconds, we turned around and jogged (kind of….given the frequent shake breaks) back home. Hudi and Mati looked miserable. Charlie and Gabi immediately started using the furniture and towels. Oh, well. It’s good rain.

Forecasts suggest that we may get rain this evening as well. A good thing. A very good thing.

#1 Gabi in action; #2 Hudi & Gabi (note the look of disgust on Hudi's face):

Major cold front

Get out the parkas. We are having a major cold front in these parts -- high of 95 today. We went to the "ranch". We had a good run around, but it was still quite hot. The skies are overcast -- a throw off from TS Eduardo, but we only got 20 drops out of those clouds. We are getting into that desperately need rain stage.

This picture needed more depth of field, but I really like it just like this:

Play ball with me?

I love this dog. She tends to carry tennis balls around like this: half in and half out. This is the dog that chose me. I am so glad that she did.

Slow weekend II

It was a slow weekend. We went to the ranch, staying on the side away from the big, bad cows (who I have been told were probably friendly, I'm just not testing my luck). On the "dog" end, there is a pond, but it's quite small and shrinking in the 100 degree heat. Despite that, Charlie did take a swim....trying to catch those pesky frogs.

After a swim, Charlie does need a bath. Who said that whippets don't get dirty?
Hudi does NOT go swimming:
Gabi is good for a swim....but she tends to stay clean:

Gabi was one of the first to discover that the van does provide a nice bit of shade:

The hay bales also provide shade:

Ahh, the joy of running:

Mati is going out for the basketball team:
Too bad pictures don't capture sound. Mati is running and barking at the same time.


After our outings each morning, the dogs were VERY quiet. I am looking forward to the fall, when staying up at the ranch all day will be an option (I don't see how people lived in this area before AC).