Wonder Woman #7 (Spoilers)

I probably wouldn't comment on the issue in question if so many others have, but the fact that I found out the spoiler on the day of publication wasn't so much due to carelessness on my part but omnipresence on the part of the spoiler.

The Wonder Woman #7 spoiler was released as a sensational description along with out of context scans of the pages. The pages showed a narrator describing the Amazon's crimes (with the Dave Sim-esque metaphor of them draining sailor's lives, which goes deeper into slanderous folklore than the evidence thus far in this reboot supports) and showing them going onto boats in the moonlight, seducing sailors, then attacking them and tossing them off of the side once they're finished with them.

I saw the initial annoyance on Twitter and found myself bombarded with requests for my opinion. I bookmarked and bypassed two articles ranting about Wonder Woman #7 before I stumbled across the spoiler. By this time, of course, the Amazons were guilty of rape and torture as well. I was greatly annoyed.

But not yet convinced.

This did not mesh well with the impression Steve Trevor had in Justice League #2's backmatter, where he insists that the Amazons were peaceful, helpful, and just wanted to be left alone. The idea that a single-sex culture that despises men but is desperate to continue their bloodlines would come upon the injured Steve Trevor, an attractive helpless man of fertile age, and nurse him back to life to let him go and give him the impression that they are "good people" is completely nonsensical.

On the other hand, completely nonsensical breakdowns of continuity do occur in the rebooted DCU on a regular basis, and this was the sort of thing a dark horror writer like Brian Azzarello would be excited to portray.

Of course, Diana was due a trip to Hades. Hades the god is a solemn and just deity that is maligned simply for doing his job and for that thing he did once that his brother did a few thousand times. Hades the Wonder Woman character is a completely different story. And Eros was to be introduced. He doesn't always come off a terribly friendly in Wonder Woman either. At the same time, Steve Trevor, the only mortal male character that had actual genuine contact (and not from a position of power) was the focus of Justice League #7. I broke down and bought the digital copies of both.

I'm very angry at all of you for making me so stressed out.

My first conclusion on seeing those pages in context, as a story told by Hephaestus, was that this is the exact way that Herakles and his men in the Perez reboot would have described their encounter with the Amazons. "We met them, had sex, and they turned on us right afterwards." We all know what happened in the Perez reboot, but that's part of the story. That the Amazons get maligned by the men they meet, warping their reputations in folklore. If I see a story in Wonder Woman and think "That's the way Herakles would have described the Amazons", I am instantly skeptical.

Hephaestus is the storyteller, and he is a generally trustworthy character but he's not a god renowned for the ability to see across vast distances or even just know stuff. He's not Athena, Hecate, or Hades or any of the deities of wisdom and secrets. He's the god of the forge, doing his job, making wonders. Someone else told him this story. He's also a guy who has a bad relationship with his mother Hera and his wife Aphrodite. Where even Ares has daughters and handmaidens hanging around in his entourage, Hepheastus is generally associated with men. He has had bad experiences with the opposite sex and has every inclination to assume the absolute worst about women.

Basically, if someone tells him the Amazons are black widow succubi who would kill their mates and male children, he's likely to believe them and pass that on.

You could ask how we can trust anyone in this run if you want (Granted, that seems to be the point of the run. The world is full of lies. Do you really think Zeus is dead?), but I'm particularly skeptical of Hephaestus here for several reasons:

1) As noted, Steve Trevor in Justice League #2, #3 and #7 acting like the opposite of a man who narrowly avoided death at the hands of black widow succubi who would kill their mates and male children. It'd be one thing if his loyalty to Diana was because she'd defended him against them, but he seems well-inclined towards the people as a whole. Diana's shock and disgust at the story told by Hephaestus suggests she had no indication from her sisters during Steve's time on the island that this is how they would behave. She clearly did not spend the entire time protecting him from attack.

2) Previous issues of Wonder Woman where a major reveal went like this: A goddess tells Diana her Dad was Zeus and her mother has been lying to her all her life, Diana reacts in shock and disbelief and confronts her mother, her mother's actions are understandable and she has a perfectly reasonable explanation for keeping her in the dark on this one, and Diana really regrets judging her so harshly when it's all said and done. I'm inclined to wait for Hippolyta's side of the story on these kinds of accusations now. ("But she's dead!" Oh please, either Hera's stone spell is reversible, or we'll see Hippolyta on the trip to the underworld next issue. Worst case scenario we'll hear her take on things secondhand through a character like Steve or Aphrodite.)

3) Hephaestus is not only a deity that is not omniscient, he is proven wrong in this very issue about an item that he created. He tells Diana the lasso is not a weapon. She soon demonstrates that it can be used as a weapon. Not only that, he tells Diana that her "real power is intimidation" and that the lasso only helps, while over in Justice League #7 Diana uses the lasso for comedic effect on Green Lantern, a character immune to intimidation. (The second is probably the lack of message discipline at DC, but it still makes two examples in this story of Hephaestus being wrong.)

4) The context of this issue, where the main theme is that "Perspective is everything." After telling about the Amazons being black widow succubi who kill their mates afterwards, Hephaestus explains that he saved the lives of the unwanted male children by trading them for weapons. Diana assumes that her family has been selling her brothers into slavery, and attempts to free them. She ties up Hephaestus and tells them they're free. Her brothers beg her to untie him, because they see him as a savior from cruel mothers who would leave them to die. That is how Hephaestus sees himself too, and the person Diana perceived as a villain gives her a pat on the back and tells her to get some sleep.

It's entirely possible that the only theme of this story is that previous assumptions about the peacefulness and compassion of women and the brutality and aggression of men are wrong. I'm not ready to take that as the sole conclusion, though. We haven't heard from the Amazons about that boat. We know that there are stories in folklore about seductive sirens and mermaids. You need LIVING sailors to tell such stories. The seductive maiden who turns on a man the morning after is one story. Another story is how Camelot was brought down when someone saw a snake on Camlann field and raised their sword. Was it policy to go, get laid, and systematically kill every man who saw them? Or was it a rule to periodically go out, get impregnated and disappear but sometimes things got out of hand. Was this just the Amazons turning on the sailors, or was this the Amazons taking to arms when an amorous sailor decided he wasn't satisfied, or wasn't letting go?

As for the boys, honestly I don't think that looks too bad. Ever read a Greek Myth? Unwanted children were left in the woods to die all the time. The Amazons are gender essentialists in all portrayals, like Marston they think that men are inherently aggressive and unwilling to submit to female rule. (Which makes the peaceful pleading of the Amazon brothers the most interesting part here.) They operate from the assumption that any male children would be the end of their civilization. Their philosophy prevented them from keeping the boys, so they cut a deal with the Smith and gave them to someone who would care for them. They no doubt considered themselves kidnder than patriarchal city-states that left girls out to die.

Just because Hephaestus thinks that without him those boys would perish doesn't mean the Amazons wouldn't have found another way around it. The deal with Hephaestus was finding a way around it. Everyone is mad at the Amazons for something they went out of their way not to do

5) Tone. I remember an annual from the Perez era, where it was revealed Julia Kapetalis was anb honorary Amazon. The Perez Amazons, bereft of children, would on occasion rescue shipwrecked chidlrne who washed up on the shores of Paradise Island. They would name them, play with them, feed them and bless them. After a few blissful days of motherhood they would take these children down to the shore and set them adrift so that the gods could guide them back to their families.

No, the Perez gods weren't actually much better behaved than the Azzarello gods.

The Azzarello Amazons actually have children periodically, keep the female children, and give the male children to Hephaestus, who is married to one of their patronesses and known for his gentle temperament.

The Perez Amazons are wise and noble, while the Azzarello Amazons are thoughtless mankillers, huh?

Tone plays a big part here. Everything Perez wrote, no matter how utterly illogical, had the tone that the Amazons were right and the rest of the world was wrong. Everything Azzarello writes has the tone that every except for Diana is up to something, and that something may be sinister. Even Hephaestus seems somewhat sinister in the early parts of these issues. In the Perez reboot Themiscyra is peace and truth while Man's world is lies and uncertainty. Diana is a beacon of truth because she was sheltered, raised in a romanticized past where they still believed in heroes (because despite all the bits about the Amazons having trouble with the Greeks, the Amazons are out of time, an idealized culture that stopped evolving in the Bronze Age), and is stunned at the uncertain world and holds tight to her sense of self against an assault from one direction. The sin of the Amazons in Perez is isolationism, repeatedly in fact. They withdraw from the world and took their wisdom with them. Therefore, everything that is revealed about the Amazons in the Perez run, no matter how objectively foolish it is, is presented as a positive revelation and proof of their nobility.

In Azzarello's reboot, Diana is a beacon of truth who finds lies and uncertainty in all parts of the world. She is a beacon of truth because she seeks the truth. She is being forced to examine not only the ideals of men and gods but also the ideals of her mother and sisters. She has to look at her own origins and hold tight to her sense of self while she is being made to question everything. As a result, everything in the Azzarello run is a negative revelation that shakes Diana to the core, warped to come off as horrifyingly as possible until we've heard both sides of the story.

That said, just because the initial revelation seems negative and horrible doesn't mean that there is no extended explanation for it, or that the characters are actually horrible people. Uncertainty and lies from all directions isn't the same as a certainty that lies are coming from all directions.

As such, I'm not quick to condemn any characters in Azzarello's run for any revealed actions until I get a complete picture. (And even then, Azzarello probably has something else up his sleeve.)

I may be wrong, of course, or in a couple runs I may be cursing Azzarello's name for putting these ideas out there. Because while Justice League is a poorly written book using very good ideas, Wonder Woman is a well-written book using some very bad ideas. But for this one I'm not angry or disgusted. (Yet. Hippolyta has some explaining to do) I'm actually delighted and intrigued at the chance that Diana might have a male relative who hates violence but is good at making/repairing weapons and armor for her.

And I'm hoping this will be used as a way to bring back Achilles from the Simone run.

Accentuate the Positive

Lest you think I'm nothing but angry at DC right now, I've coem to comment on good news. The truth of the matter is, I enjoyed almost (not Voodoo) all the books I bought from DC this month. (I did not even bother with Suicide Squad, Red Hood, or Catwoman.) In general, I think the relaunch/reboot was a success and I'm going back for second issues on everything. (Except Voodoo.) So I am optimistic about some things, and good news keeps coming. Ann Nocenti might get me to pick up Green Arrow. Azzarello has apparently hinted that Steve Trevor will be back. And of course, there's this:

Grant Morrison's Wonder Woman series could debut in 2012.

Now, you all know I'm a Morrison fan and a Wonder Woman fan who will give any writer a shot at her, but I'm actually especially excited for one reason.

Wonder Woman needs sex definitely because, you know, again as I said in the book [Supergods], they kind of transformed her into a cross between the Virgin Mary and Mary Tyler Moore,” he said. “This Girl Scout who had no sexuality at all and the character’s never quite worked since then. In the way that Superman’s supposed to stand for men but at least he’s allowed to have some kind of element of sexuality, Wonder Woman is expected to stand for women without any element of sexuality, and that seems wrong.

And this is the part where the fans are freaking out, especially after Voodoo and Red Hood and Catwoman. But here's the thing, Morrison is not Marz, Lobdell, or Winick. Morrison has actually addressed female sexuality in a thoughtful way back in Seven Soldiers. In fact, in that series he managed to delve deeply into the personalities and growth of varied and distinctive female characters, creating complex stories about women at different times in their lives that varied widely in tone and theme. If you have doubts that Morrison can handle sexuality with respect and complexity, check out Seven Soldiers: Bulleteer, Seven Soldiers: Zatanna and Seven Soldiers: Shining Knight.

This is not Judd Winick's sexy, sexy Catwoman.

The other thing is... he's absolutely fucking right. They are so terrified to delve into sexuality with Wonder Woman that they wrote out her love interest in the 80s reboot.. They insist she's a virgin at conventions.

Cheryl Lynn has said in the past that Marvel has no equivalent to Wonder Woman because there's not character that fanboys would freak out about if it was established they'd had sex in the past.

And for real, if you went ahead and had Diana casually mention that since arriving on Man's World and meeting men for the first time she experimented with sleeping with some of them, fandom would melt down.

If you established that back on Paradise Island there were female characters that were age appropriate and not foster mothers to Diana, and she sleep with them OR that since arrive in Man's World and meeting all these new women Diana had gone all the way with a couple... fandom would melt down.

If you established that Wonder Woman had had sex, the Internet would break in half.

And no, Kingdom Come and other Elseworlds don't count because they are AUs where she fucking married Superman or was enslaved by crazy Victorian misogynistics, and it's pretty much always in the bounds of marriage in those anyway.

And that is why no love interest has lasted since Steve left. Not because he's inherently better than the replacements (even though he is), but because writers are so fucking scared to address the sexuality of a truly liberated woman... because editors are so afraid that she'll be degraded by not being the purest woman possible.. because our society prizes chastity so fucking much that they are reluctant to even hint or explore the POSSIBILITY that she might someday have sex with someone.

And this is a character who was sexual when she was first introduced. A character inextricably associated in all incarnations with Aphrodite, the Goddess of Sexuality and Love. As long as this aspect of her personality is ignored? She will NEVER have the appeal she originally had, she will ALWAYS be a shell of her former self.

And he's right earlier. Batman can be sexual. Superman can be a symbol of sexual power. But Wonder Woman? Wonder Woman can't be sexually powerful. A strong dominant woman must be a virgin, married to a more powerful man, or subjugated in order to be acceptable.

Someone has to go there. Someone has to address her sexual nature from a position of agency and not objectification. It's how she was originally written. And here we have a writer who actuallly has the ability to do so. I acknowledge that it could suck, but I am beyond cautiously optimistic here. I want to read this and I think it could be just what the character needs.

Coming Soon: Daddy Issues

I read Wonder Woman #1 and thought it was a lovely dark take on the character, and Brian Azzarello's gods have such incredibly potential. Apollo has never been so interesting in this franchise, Hera is foreboding, Zeus sounds clever, and Hermes is... well, poor Hermes gets beat up a lot in this franchise, doesn't he?

Either way, it showed a lot of promise and I was looking forward to the next installment.

Until I saw (Caution: Spoiler in the article TITLE, and from this point on in the post) this.

Bastards can't let me be happy.

Okay, two things:

1) Wonder Woman had a dad in the Silver Age. It was an unnamed Prince Hippolyta had been married to. He's referenced like, twice, and mostly for Hippolyta's angst.

2) This is a terrible idea.

Even if Azzarello does it brilliant, in the end it is a terrible idea.

Not as terrible an idea as Hercules, mind you (this was the rumor for the Crisis reboot), unless they decide Zeus also raped Hippolyta. But on the whole, it is probably a mucg worse idea than Hades as her dad in that damned animated movie. And a considerably worse idea than Hermes, a character who could technically be argued to be her father from the Perez reboot.

Really, any of them suck. I'll give you, Azzarello's a good writer and can pull this off, but it opens a couple nasty doors. It leaves Diana's story open to being able Daddy issues, thus letting a male character become the central focus of Wonder Woman for a while, and it sends a message that doesn't suit Wonder Woman.

And I don't mean the icky message that Diana a product of sexual assault, though that is a terrible message and I hope Azzarello does not go there. He was doing so well with a first issue that didn't have all the Amazons being raped.

It sends the message that Wonder Woman, the embodiment of female hope and strength did not get her strength from her mother or the cooperative all-female culture that produced her, or the goddesses. It came from her ultra-powerful male parent, the very god of the patriarchy himself.

And while there's ways of turning that on itself, making it symbolic of the Patriarchy creating it's own downfall... in the end, it's just too far from how she started, and the core of what Wonder Woman is.

Ragnell's Guide to Golden Age Wonder Woman

They're doing a weekend-long 99 cent Wonder Woman sale on Comixology and the DC iPad app today, and they're offering a selection of Golden Age Wonder Woman stories. I am going to be totally upfront here, despite all their flaws I love this Wonder Woman run. It has the tone and creativity that I want from Wonder Woman again. More than anything I want them to re-establish the classic setup so that they have all of these things to play with.

Still, there's some flaws and people have limited funds so I'd like to offer this succinct shopping guide.

All-Star Comics #8
Introducing: Diana/Wonder Woman, Queen Hippolyta, Steve Trevor, Steve's gun
Featuring: The Story So Far

Recommendation: Buy it! It's the first appearance of Diana by her original creator, and it's the best place to find the original intentions for the series.

(ETA: It's free right now, don't pass it up.)

Sensation Comics #1
Diana's first few days on Man's World.
Introducing: Diana Prince, the Invisible Jet, Steve's exasperated modesty
Featuring: A lot of off-hand comments about how weird Man's World is.

Recommendation: Buy this! This is the other half of her origin story and still one of the best Wonder Woman stories ever written.

Sensation Comics #2
Diana meets her very first super-villain.
First appearances: Dr. Poison, Etta Candy and the Holliday Girls, Steve's uncanny ability to get in trouble even when he's asleep.
Featuring: Dancing! Breaking through doors! Steve giving orders and waving a gun around while being carried by Diana!

Racism: Maru falls under the dragon lady stereotype, but the art isn't as punch in the face horrifying as a lot of the other propaganda comics (including this one later on) of the era.

Recommendation: Buy. Give this one a shot.

Sensation Comics #3
Diana gets a job working for Gen Darnell at military intelligence.
Introducing: The Military Intelligence office environment, Lila and Eve Brown
Featuring: A glimpse at Pledge Week at Holliday College.

Recommendation: Consider it. I have a fondness for Steve in embarrassing situations, so I'd advise on this one.

Sensation Comics #4

Introducing: Paula Von Gunther, the Bondage weakness, and Col Darnell's crush on Diana Prince.
Featuring: The Fire Squad Feat, one of my favorite Wonder Woman moments.

Recommendation: Buy this.

Sensation Comics #5
Featuring: I only really remember this one because it's one of only two stories I've read from the whole of Vol 1 that involve a male friend of Steve's. (The other is the guy in O'Neil's run.) Every other friend of Steve's seems to be either a guy at work or a woman he knows through Wonder Woman.
It also has a couple great "Wonder Woman tells a bunch of men what to do and they listen" moments.

Recommendation: Consider it.

Sensation Comics #6
The Return of Baroness Von Gunther.
Introducing: The Lasso
Featuring: Weird Amazon Sports. It totally went over my heard the first few times I read this one, but this is where he really starts messing around with bondage jokes. We see an Amazon rodeo, and Baroness von Gunther is always pretty kinky, even as Wonder Woman villainesses go.

Recommendation: Consider it.

Sensation Comics #7
This is the Milk story.

Buy it.

Sensation Comics #8
Introducing: Steve's amazing ability to pick the absolute worst time to ask Diana Prince to dinner.
Featuring: "Great girdle of Aphrodite! Am I tired of being tied up!"

Racism: I've actually got two copies of this story, and that's where I first noticed the cleaning. There's a panel with two pretty bad black caricatures in my archives. The WW Chronicles has cleaned up the picture and the dialogue. I'm willing to bet it's been downplayed for the digital, and that this is actually why it's been taking them so long to release Golden Age Wonder Woman.

Recommendation: Consider it.

Sensation Comics #9
First Appearance: Dan White, the real Diana Prince's complete asshole of a husband
Featuring: Heavy-handed symbolism

Racism: One panel of a Japanese dude, and this artist never does a flattering portrayal of anyone who isn't white.

Recommendation: Consider it.



Wonder Woman #1
A-Story
Introducing: There is seriously a large strawberry blonde wrestling Amazon named "Fatsis" who nearly takes out Mala. It is also her last appearance, I believe. (Funny how the tournament retellings always give us the most Amazon body diversity, Diana and Mala both tend to get opponents who are bigger than them. Elsewhere, the Amazons are often just a stock body shape.)
Featuring: Steve pronounced dead by a medical professional. It doesn't take.

B-Story
This circus-based story is fairly unimpressive unless you like elephants.
Racism: Superstitious Indian (South Asian Indian) dudes as villains.

C-Story
Introducing: Little boys dressed as cowboys that idolize WW, and half-page guest victim Captain Loyal (I wish they'd bring him back just for the name.)

D-Story
First Appearance: Pepita the Matador, Etta's brother Mint
Racism: Stepin Fetchit porter character, Pepita's horrible accent, and a guy named Pancho who is both a Mexican and a black stereotype at once. Also, caricatures of Japanese soldiers. All of this in the art is downplayed in the edited Chronicles reprint.

Recommendation: Skip it if you're going to skip any of these. It's possible that they will only reprint the A and C story here. In that case, I'd say pick it up. But really, it's not so good as to bother with the B and D story unless you're making a study of the era's racism.

Wonder Woman #2
Wonder Woman goes to Mars!
Steve sort of dies and his soul gets stolen by Mars to be put to work creating war and strife on Earth. Aided by Aphrodite, Diana goes to Mars, rescues him, and faces his three generals over a set of 5 stories.
Introducing: The Citadel of the God of War on Mars, the Duke of Deception, the Lord of Conquest, the Earl of Greed and Marta (Lord Conquest's wife)
Featuring: Stolen souls, Hitler, Hirohito, Moussolini and the second time Steve Trevor has died in as many issues.

Racism: The fourth story, where she fights the Duke of Deception, includes a lot of Asian stereotypes and caricatures. I only have this in the Archives where nothing is changed, so they might alter them.

Recommandation: The first story alone is one of the best and most imaginative stories in WW history, but it's tough to recommend it for the fourth story. It's creative and amazing, so I would buy it based on plot alone, but I don't blame you if you skip it.

Wonder Woman #3
Featuring: Amazon religious festivals and the untold story of Baroness Paula von Gunther.

Racism: Two with men of color (a Japanese soldier and an African-American elevator operator) that will likely be edited for modern audience sensibilities.

Recommendation: Consider it.

Wonder Woman #4
Featuring: A disease that makes women lose their minds, Col Darnell's crush on Diana, male bondage, and Etta coming on to Steve.

Racism: The first story is about a Chinese girl who comes to the US to raise awareness of what the Japanese are doing to her people. Lots of stilting accents and Japanese caricatures.

Recommendation: Consider it

Wonder Woman #5
Introducing: Dr. Psycho!
Featuring: The first real and permanent death among the regular cast.

Recommendation: Buy it!

Wonder Woman #6
Introducing: Cheetah!
Featuring: the Hair Salon of Creative Restraint

Racism: Caricatured Japanese sailors in the second half of the beauty salon story.

Recommendation: Consider it. Grab it if you're a big Cheetah fan, I guess.

Wonder Woman #7
Queen Hippolyta uses the Magic Sphere to show Diana a future world where women run the US.
Introducing: The Future!

Recommendation: Consider it

(ETA: I made this based off the DC comics press release, and didn't realize most of the Sensation Comics issues are bundled together in groups of two. That's much better bang for your buck, because these are only a quarter of the length of the Wonder Woman story. I added links to the Comixology parts, but haven't had a chance to look at any of these and how they've been changed. Comment if there's something worth mentioning that I missed.)

Recommended Reading

Michael May's Robot 6 post Wonder Woman: What Makes Her Tick.

Wonder Woman, Architecture and Mortality

Full September solicits are up:

WONDER WOMAN #1
Written by BRIAN AZZARELLO
Art and cover by CLIFF CHIANG
On sale SEPTEMBER 21 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
The Gods walk among us. To them, our lives are playthings. Only one woman would dare to protect humanity from the wrath of such strange and powerful forces. But is she one of us – or one of them?

As I said on Tumblr, this makes me feel a lot better. Remember the opening to the 90s Kevin Sorbo Hercules? That's what this sounds like, and that's what Wonder Woman is supposed to me. She's supposed to be a modern Hercules in female form.

Not only that? No man-hating. Nothing about fearing Diana's wrath. Nothing about having to learn how men aren't evil. Nothing about the Amazons making war on humanity. Even the fluff on the end for the new readers to be intrigued about her origins doesn't imply anything bad about her personally, just puts her origins in question. Basically, a complete departure from the past year of "Will Wonder Woman be evil?" and the whole Flashpoint angle of "How did Wonder Woman go evil?" Hell, there's not even anything about having to adjust to men or teach the isolationist Amazons that men don't suck. She is straight up presented as a protector of humanity from the wrath of the Gods.

After the trajectory of the past year? I'm elated.

They'll emphasize the warrior, I'm sure. Azzarello doesn't shy from violence, and his portrayal of Diana in Superman #210-211 was heavy on the warrior side with a extra helping of cold restraint. It didn't bother me there, because of the stress of the "You really have to fight your best friend Superman and stop him from hurting a lot of people" setup on her side. It also didn't present Diana as a danger to humanity, just an opponent that would be able to defeat Superman. He gets her away from him by asking her to save two lives. If that's Azzarello's take here? If she's a dangerous woman, but not to humanity and her primary focus is saving lives? It's a lot better than what we've seen lately, and this solicit suggests that's what we'll get.

Really, the only solicit that could make me happier would be "Grant Morrison contacted WM Marston and Elizabeth Holloway with a Oujia Board, and will be presenting his masterpiece once Greg Rucka is finished editing all the inadvertant sexism out of it. See you in September!"



The other thing that has me optimistic is that I got Brian Azzarello and Cliff Chiang's Doctor 13: Architecture and Mortality in the mail today. I am shocked that no one has ever recommended this to me. This is a story where the DCU's most stubborn skeptic, his daughter, and a crew of unused comic book characters team up to battle the combined might of Geoff Johns, Grant Morrison, Greg Rucka, and Mark Waid. Inside, Azzarello writes an argument for the reboot 4 years before the reboot.

It's also a great story that uses first-person narration to maximum effect. You get a look at how Dr. Thirteen sees himself and the people around him, and a sense of what he's in denial about and what he feels but won't narrate. You also sympathize with someone who is a wholly stubborn and often rude character, and want him to succeed and survive. That takes a little skill. The rest of the cast is peppered with people who are, at their concepts, completely ridiculous. They are the silliness DC often tries to sweep under the rug, and Azzarello digs them up for a meta-commentary made for adults. He uses them as characters with natural emotions and complex reactions without losing that commentary, and puts them in a serious situation where we actually worry about them without dropping the innocence or charm inherent in the characters. Chiang's simple, classic style is a big part of this, because we get an old comic book feel with modern artistic techniques.

This is very good sign for a Wonder Woman reboot team, because that's actually exactly what the Wonder Woman franchise needs. It needs someone to take some of the old silly concepts and bring them into the modern era without dropping the innocence or charm to them. It needs someone who can present Diana as a serious hero, and even emphasize the aggressive and active parts of her nature, without losing her humanity. And make no mistake, that is what we constantly lose in the endless rush to badassify Wonder Woman. We lose the little touches of her as a person, the impulsive young woman who lept into the ocean because someone needed her, the healer who worked tirelessly to save a sick man, the daughter who went behind her mother's back in order to earn her place in society, the hopeful explorer that was the first person to leave home for three thousand years, the woman who doesn't quite understand how men work, the visitor to a foreign land... All of these traits that surface off of the battlefield that are increasingly lost as writers emphasize the warrior in Diana. They tell us they do this because it makes her more flawed, more human, but really every time they take her from those soft moments they take her a little further away from her humanity and her relatability.

I'm not going to pin my hopes on seeing all of the potential in Diana's character in this reboot, but the subtle and complex characterization of Dr. Thirteen in this book tells me that this creative team has the skill to write her on the battlefield without completely abandoning the softer facets of her personality. And the use of the other characters in this book tell me that they can take franchise elements that aren't often taken seriously and use them as story elements with enough humor that they aren't warped but don't detract from the seriousness of the story. All with some obvious metacommentary because Wonder Woman is built on metacommentary about the genre and adventure stories in general.

If anything, this little book may have set the bar a bit high for this team. Still, this is more optimistic than I've felt about a Wonder Woman comic all year.

I had a thought.

This is a big strange, but I'm going to go ahead and put it out there. The Action Comics solicit says "their first super-hero" and some of the speculation on Twitter is that means the JSA is erased.

Certainly, they that team didn't get a reboot book. But that doesn't mean they were erased.

I've been talking on and off to people on Tumblr and Twitter over the last few months about Wonder Woman. One thing that keeps getting brought up is how cool it'd be if Diana was REALLY old and actually had been the WWII Wonder Woman. She's basically ageless and immortal, after all.

Well, Superman's an alien with enhanced physiology. Morrison has him survive within the sun until the 853rd Century. Maybe the huge, radical change for Superman is that they're going to backdate his first appearance to 1938 and make him have been active that long.

It's a longshot, but it is something they can do with Superman and Wonder Woman that allows them to bring in any flashbacks they want for their stories, and any supporting cast members they want. It also lets them keep their inspirational status and their WWII cred. And they made one thing clear to the press:

Among the top heroes, none of them will change more than Superman and Wonder Woman.

That's a pretty big change without actually changing Clark's personality, and it is the same sort of change they could make with Wonder Woman. I'm not going to commit to this as my Grand Theory of What They Are Doing, but I do want to put it out there now that I've had the idea.

It would be gutsy, creative, change the way we look at the characters without truly changing how important they are or dropping all of their character evolution, and it works within the rules of their world. I wouldn't be too upset with it.

Do I think they are brave enough to do this? I don't know, we'll see what happens when the interviews start. I do think it's a possibility, and it has not been a possibility to have Superman and Wonder Woman as themselves in the JSA for years now so that right there is a big change.

Big Changes. Right.

I'm going to crosspost a little bit from my Tumblr because it's pretty much in line with stuff I've been posting here. Skip ahead to the Superman stuff if you've already read it.

I was answering this dcwomenkickingass post:

The reveal of the cover of Action Comics #1 was accompanied by an article where DC executives talk about the DCnU. This one stood out.

One thing that is clear: Among the top heroes, none of them will change more than Superman and Wonder Woman. The changes, such as a notable but still-secret shift in the status quo at the Daily Planet, will be met with fan ranting, but of course that’s part of the relationship here. The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s apathy, and DiDio and his team will be more worried when fans aren’t debating comics and their true or proper mythology.

In a reboot that has Barbara Gordon going from Oracle to Batgirl, the idea that there an even bigger change for Wonder Woman makes me nervous. And “still-secret status quo at the Daily Planet”? We see it looking destroyed on the cover of Superman #1, is that what they mean or is something else?

We've known a reboot was coming to Wonder Woman for a full year now. They've been hinting at bringing Steve back as a steady love interest, and that in itself is a HUGE change. Perez took out so much of the pre-Crisis elements that returning the jet and tech to Paradise Island would be a huge change too. We've got two worries:

1) They overemphasize the warrior side so much so that they cut out saving the pilot and replace it with her coming to the US on a mission other than "Return this injured party to his home" because then we won't get the merciful aspect of her personality coded into her from the start. The absolute worst case scenario (which they pretty much did in the animated movie even though they kept a bit where she saves him first) is if she captures the pilot rather than rescues him, like in Flashpoint. Since Flashpoint is supposed to be a perversion, I'm hoping this means the decided upon origin will be the normal one.

2) They lose themselves in trying to make her relatable by adding the trappings of American culture and forget that she was created to be a visitor from a foreign land free of our cultural (sexist) hangups who can COMMENT on our culture's weirdness.

Fingers crossed the big change they refer to is just a full reversion to classic origin/setting and not yet another JMS-style way of making her more like an average woman. No being raised in the states, PLEASE.

All that said, I don't buy for a second Superman's personality is changing much. They're mucking with the setting to revert to something Pre-Crisis (the marriage is probably gone), which will mess with the franchise as much as it does with Wonder Woman's. But Superman as a character? Too iconic to mess with his behavior too much. In fact, that Action Comics #1 cover?



(I'm going to make you sit in the corner with a dunce cap if you think that's his new costume. We've already seen the dumb without-red-trunks costume all over the place.)

Half Clark Kent farmboy clothing, half Superman clothes. A visual that focuses on his down home roots is exactly like the sort of thing to emphasize Superman's humanity and his connection to the Earth. I wouldn't be surprised if that's the focus of this issue.

This September, New York Times bestselling writer Grant Morrison (ALL-STAR SUPERMAN) joins with sensational artist Rags Morales to bring you tales of The Man of Tomorrow unlike any you’ve ever read before in ACTION COMICS #1. This momentous first issue will set in motion the history of the DC Universe as Superman defends a world that doesn’t trust their first Super Hero.

Oh, so the whole issue is the world changing their attitude about Superman... and him trying to continue acting like he always does. Huh. Sounds like a pitch that explores Superman's relation to humanity, and his own humanity in turn. That's cover and solicit, and the sort of thing Morrison would write.

Out of today's books, I'll try out Action Comics, going to pass on anything George Perez writes and not too interested in Superboy yet. I'm iffy on Supergirl. Sounds like they're doing a just-arrived from Krypton and must learn to connect to humans thing. Don't know those writers, don't know if I care for that story.

Reboot Madness! Everything Must Change!

Sure enough, right after I posted my concerns about the reboot the news went up about the next ten series that are getting rebooted. They seem very nonthreatening. I've already made some buy choices.

Of course, barring Dave Sim (and honestly, I think I'd pick that up just to see how fucked up it was) or Frank Miller I knew I'd be getting Wonder Woman. I had my fingers crossed for Grant Morrison, but DC handed the pen to someone else:

New York Times bestselling writer Brian Azzarello, author of The Joker and 100 Bullets, teams up with the immensely talented artist Cliff Chiang (Neil Young’s Greendale) for WONDER WOMAN #1, an exciting new series starring the DC Universe’s greatest superheroine. The cover to issue #1 is by Cliff Chiang.

Right away my heart sank. A lot of the big problems with Wonder Woman seem to derive from this ridiculous idea that she needs more of an edge. (I suppose being the personal enemy of the God of War and Violence himself just isn't impressive enough.) Brian Azzarello is known for 100 Bullets and just having the dark, edgy element to his stuff. No only that, bloodied sword on the cover.

But... Rucka was known for edgy street crime, and he was one of the best. The complaints I've heard about Azzarello's women seem to stem from bashing the supporting cast around, so a franchise like Wonder Woman that is purposefully gender-swapped might shake up his habits a little.

He's written Wonder Woman before in Superman #210-211, and David had some reassuring things to say about that. It's been a long time since I've read any of For Tomorrow (I only remember some heavy bondage with Kyle Rayner), but it's one of three Azzarello series on Comixology so as soon as I get my account straightened out I'll check the Wonder Woman parts out for myself. A couple people have recommended Doctor Thirteen so I've ordered that out of curiosity.

Not that not liking any of this will stop me from getting the next Wonder Woman origin retelling. I freaking love that story, and this is a character I usually give anyone a chance with.

Also, that is the best the pants have looked yet.

The other surprise I got was a Mr. Terrific solo series, just as I was worrying about the character's fate:

The world’s third-smartest man – and one of its most eligible bachelors – uses his brains and fists against science gone mad in MISTER TERRIFIC #1, the new series from writer Eric Wallace and artist Roger Robinson. The cover to issue #1 is by J.G. Jones.

Not familiar with the creative team, but I will be checking out the first issue unless someone drops something ridiculous in the lead-up interviews.

In the meantime, I'm relieved to see Johns leave the Flash:

Rising superstar Francis Manapul, fresh off his acclaimed run on THE FLASH with Geoff Johns, makes his comics writing debut in THE FLASH #1, sharing both scripting and art duties with Brian Buccellato. The Flash knows he can’t be everywhere at once, but what happens when he faces an all-new villain who can? The cover to issue #1 is by Francis Manapul and Brian Buccellato.

I'm unfamiliar with Bucellato but I'll definitely give Manapul's writing a shot for his art.



On the maybe pile I have JLI and Justice League. Johns and Lee are setting the stage for everything and Justice League used to be one of my staples, but I'm honestly getting tired of those creators. Lopresti on JLI is solid, and I like the lineup but I'm still deliberating on Jurgens. He's hit and miss for me.

In the meantime, Yan's keeping a list of books and creative teams as they get officially announced in case someone wants a scored.

Flashpoint: Is This Event Over Yet?

So I hadn't seen this before.

Okay, we've been through the whole Flashpoint rant a few times already. I do not like this angle for the Amazons, and I think it undercuts Diana's character. With Amazons Attack, it was stupid but I was open to the "mystically manipulated" idea and figured it wouldn't hurt the franchise.

I guess I was wrong, because it seems someone liked that idea and decided they should try it again in an alternate timeline. And now someone will like the idea and decide they should try it again. Because they don't get Wonder Woman. They don't understand how women can withdraw from men and not spend all of their time thinking about men, holding a grudge against men, and plotting to come out and hurt/maim/kill men. They don't get that women might spend their lives away from men and be perfectly happy and not obsessed with men in some way.

They don't get that the point of Wonder Woman is that sexism in our society was holding women back, and that Diana is what a woman who had never suffered institutionalized sexism can be. Instead, Wonder Woman only makes sense if she's lopping off heads and ranting about how terrible men are. For franchise purity, she has to have the moral high ground in her own book but when it comes to crossovers all bets seem to be off.

I know that this is an alternate universe and it won't really immediately affect how she's portrayed in her own book.

I know that the whole point of this timeline is that everything has gone horribly wrong and the heroes (which, coincidentally, don't seem to include Wonder Woman) will have to set it right.

I know that this cover is just there to get us riled up and they probably have an explanation inside that will make Diana sympathetic.

That doesn't make this crossover and everything released about Wonder Woman in it sound any less stupid.

Here's the thing, the best alternate universe storylines are the ones that show us the true measure of the characters. They're the ones that show us that the characters will remain true to their core characteristics in different circumstances.

There's a quote running around somewhere that Batman wasn't changed much because the audience wouldn't accept it. I can pretty much guarantee that Superman will be the same sort of person he always has been. Same for Hal, because they are building up the Green Lantern franchise around him. And of course, Barry will remain Barry because he's the centerpiece here.

For some reason, Diana is getting remade to be much more violent, though. And that suggests to me that they feel the core characteristics of Wonder Woman are her warrior characteristics, and that her kinder nature is only due to circumstances.

To me, that's bullshit. The very first act that this character performed in publication history is an act of mercy. The very first thing that Diana does in All-Star Comics #8 is to save someone from a plane crash. It is an action repeated in every retcon of her origin up until this idiotic JMS reboot. She has a friend with her usually, but it's always Diana's idea to go help the guy. It is an essential part of her origin and the first character trait that was established in her very first appearance. She is merciful.

And not only that, that someone is a man. She's heard nothing about men except that they were violent, enslaved her people, and that they retreated to the island to live in peace from them. She's raised to think that this person will try to hurt her even after she helps him, but she still does. Her instinct to be heroic and merciful is overwhelming. If she does not have that, if that is not a prominent trait, then that is not Wonder Woman.

Really, every depiction at odds with that as her true nature muddies the waters of a character that a lot of people don't seem to know/understand to begin with. People complain that WW is a cipher, a physical presence, a cardboard character and that's because anytime she's outside her own book the writers seem to ignore that she has very specific character traits that were laid out in her appearance. They ignore that her warrior aspects are tempered by mercy and reason. They do this because it's kewler to have her collecting heads than demonstrating a clear head.

A few minutes before I saw this I had been answering a comment on the other day's Steve Trevor post. I was explaining how Steve was more important to the mythos than Batman's first love interest, and this whole Flashpoint thing came to mind. Because with Steve around, we have a reminder that Diana's first act was an act of mercy. We have the basis for her opinion on men standing right by her. We have a guy around that is there because not only did she save him, she actually nursed him back to health and hid him from the rest of her people so he'd be safe.

Steve Trevor is a walking talking example of how good a person Wonder Woman is at heart. And that, more than a desire to see romantic stories around Wonder Woman, more than an affection of the character, is why I feel it's so important they bring him back.

Because this may be another big fakeout, but they are slowly moving towards it crossover by crossover. They are losing Wonder Woman in this, as each event they make her just a little more like the Punisher.

What does she see in that man?

First, an enjoyable diversion that hopefully won't be pulled anytime soon. Then on to the business of expressing a pretty complex opinion.

The biggest thing I see among fans that irks me is the insistence that Wonder Woman be paired with another costumed hero like Superman (in the letter columns and the freaking 90s Elseworlds) or Batman (since the cartoon series set them up a ratehr dedicated fandom has surfaced). Worse than the fans, this is a trend among writers, who gave her a crush on Clark in the 80s (this was their way of establishing she wasn't lesbian or asexual, I suppose, since the 80s reboot got rid of all the female characters she could have been paired up with as well as getting rid of Steve), a dozen alternate universe stories where she marries Clark in the 90s, and a relationship with Batman in 2000s JLA that is so important that it saves her from the Black Lantern in their company crossover (I will never let this go. Ever.) but is never mentioned in her or his book.

Now, a lot of us object to this based purely on franchise integrity. Wonder Woman dating Batman or Superman makes her into one of their supporting characters. It's not right, and she should be treated on equal terms with them but the writers, editors and most importantly the marketers clearly favor both men over her. Until we can replace Warner Bros execs with doppelgangers who love Wonder Woman boardroom fights over Superman and Wonder Woman or Batman and Wonder Woman will end with her getting the shaft.

But my objection to these two relationships and my insistence on bringing back Steve Trevor does go further than franchise integrity. It's all about character background, masculinity and femininity, and the underlying theme of Wonder Woman. Consider if you will, the classic origin story.




Despite some variation (particularly with Kanigher, but he seems to have soft-retconned the classic origin back in when he really got to writing), most writers stick to her saving a downed pilot. This is the first man she's ever seen. He's usually half-drowned and horribly injured from the crash. She cares for him and sees him at his most vulnerable. While he's helpless, sometimes delirious, and in the cases when she hides him (Martston, Kanigher's later retcon) completely dependent on her for survival. Even when he's lucid (Kanigher's first story, Conway), he's still defenseless and has no control over what happens to him. She has to rescue and protect him.



She notices early on that he's pretty attractive. Even as a complete wreck, waterlogged and injured he is absolutely gorgeous. That's the basis for the initial attraction, but with some writers there's a little bit more. Pre-Crisis Diana knew English somehow (magic TV or there's Amazons that were shipwrecked English-speakers or Hermes willed it--she also knew Caveman language in the Silver Age). In one of the Golden Age origin retellings (I can't find it right now), Steve's delirious and babbling about the war, how his people are fighting a great evil, and how he swears he sees an angel. In the Silver Age, the first version has him telling her he doesn't see the difference between an Amazon and an angel, and then ridiculously offer to fight off sharks while she gets away. Later he shows up leading a charity outing for underprivileged kids. Both cases, he says something while helpless that demonstrates he's brave and selfless, he admires her, and he's community minded.



She decides she's attracted to him based on him being beautiful. Sometimes she gets to factor in that he says nice things about her and cares for others above his own well-being despite being absolutely helpless. Not exactly a lot to go on but I'm sure you all do a background check and require them to accomplish three quests before you'll approach an attractive stranger in a bar.

Later on we see that he's the sort of guy who tells the villain it doesn't matter what they do to him, they'll never beat Wonder Woman. Other times we see he can be gentle and thoughtful and takes care of her emotionally. He's also brave and honest. He has some very attractive qualities that are present whether he's shooting out the lock on her prison door or he's lying in her arms recovering from a recent blow to the head. He's passively desirable. It's not things he does that interest her, it's inherent qualities that show through at his weakest moments whether they're superficial like his appearance or the truest expression of his courage like laughing in the face of a villain who has him completely in their power.

The updates on Steve Trevor through the years, the new interpretations by Kanigher, Conway, Thomas, and Mishkin for their respective eras, kept that he is a doer and a heroic character but still understood that Diana's attraction was based on his characteristics rather than his accomplishments. It meant more to her that he was the sort of person who would TRY to help her than the sort of person who COULD help her.



Somehow, though, people always ask why she likes him. They want him to have done something to deserve her. Or they consider the character a complete wash, and favor her with Superman or Batman, the only two men on the planet who can be said to have accomplished more than her. They want a super-powered love interest. The long-standing trend among anti-Steve fans who are still in favor of a male love interest is to get her a so-called "Real Man" because they don't get how a woman of her calibre could fall for someone who needed her help. This is one thing to see from fans, but to have writers try and establish this too, to have her go for the one guy who outpowers her or the badass normal, to write her as the female fighter who insists on a man who matches or defeats her betrays a misunderstanding of our culture and Diana as a character.

Wonder Woman was raised in a society of women, with no positive views of men until she met one herself. This is important because it tells us that she has no investment in or even concept of the Cult of Masculinity.



The Cult of Masculinity is a way of describing how society pushes this construct of what men need to be like. It is the thing that makes us value certain traits in men above others, and insist that men are worthless unless they are superhuman overachievers who never show a moment of weakness. It is the collection of traits that men are expected to embody in order to keep their place of superiority over women. It is, among other irritating things, the expectation that men have more important jobs and earn more money than their wives. It is, among other infuriating things, our cultural requirement that even if women are allowed to be heroes men must be bigger heroes.

Wonder Woman has no clue that men are supposed to be stronger, more active, more capable, better fighters, more famous, or make more money than she is. She has no idea what we would consider a worthy mate for her. (In fact, one of the great things in the Bronze Age is that the rest of the JLA doesn't quite understand why she's with him.) She doesn't know that she's supposed to be dating UP somehow, that she's supposed to go for someone who has more power or influence than she does. She doesn't realize that when she saw him drowning, exhausted, and near death she was supposed to conclude he was defective. She never figures out that every time he needs her to save him she's supposed to think less of him.

Diana doesn't see Steve the way we do, the way Black Canary does, the way Batman does, the way our society would see him. We see a man we have no use for because he dates a woman who is better at his job than he is. (Never mind how good he actually is at his job, we're blind to that.) She sees a person who is physically attractive that turns out to also be selfless, kind, brave, light-hearted and supportive. She sees someone who often needs her help, makes sure she gets the appropriate credit for that help, and lets her know how much he appreciates it. She sees a person who is a little thick-headed, sometimes kind of irritating but that will always be at her side and always ready with a smile or a word of encouragement when she needs it.

The Stupidest Idea I've Ever Heard

So, someone spoiled Green Lantern Corps #60 for me. I don't really mind, because what they spoiled turned out to be the Stupidest Idea I've Ever Heard.

It's the sort of idea you'd think I'd get angry about, but I didn't. I was simply too baffled at the Stupidest Idea I've Ever Heard. Of course, I probably wasn't angry because the Stupidest Idea I've Ever Heard isn't racist, sexist or really offensive on any of those levels. It takes a certain amount of logic to come up with an offensive idea. You have to be adhering to certain stereotypes and actually attempting to craft a half-assed story. It takes a special cluelessness about humanity or malice to offend. It takes a small amount of intelligence.

It takes no intelligence to come up with the Stupidest Idea I've Ever Heard. It is in no way offensive to me as a person, or even as a fan. It is just something so pointless and wasteful that I feel sorry for the person who came up with it. The person who came up with it works in the entertainment industry. That person is paid to come up with ideas to entertain us. That person needs ideas in order to pay for food and rent.

That person is so clearly out of ideas, the bread and butter of their chosen business, that I can't help but feel sorry for them.

Indeed, I fear this is worse than simply being out of ideas. The Stupidest Idea I've Ever Heard can not have come from a simple lack of creativity. This can only have come from a complex lack of creativity. A lack of creativity so intense that it has collapsed in on itself and pulls ambient creativity into it. A lack of creativity that has grown into a Void That Swallows Creativity.

And as Creativity is sucked into this Black Hole of Banality, another substance is emanating from the Void That Swallows Creativity. It is the opposite of Creativity. It is the opposite of Light. It is Anti-Creativity, and whenever it touches Creativity it renders all present incapable of detecting Story Potential as it rends the fabric of the universe.

If that's too melodramatic for you, perhaps the following story will illustrate what I think of this latest plot twist and the direction the Green Lantern franchise in general has taken since the middle of Blackest Night:

I was walking along one day when I saw a water truck parked on the side of the road. In the cab sat a man with a canteen. His skin was cracked and dry and his lips were parched. He was moaning quietly about his thirst.

I asked the man if his truck was out of water and he told me no, it was full.

So I asked the man if the water was undrinkable and he told me no, it had been tested and was perfectly potable.

So I told him to drink.

He shrugged, bent over, and lifted the back of his pants. Then he poured the water underneath the fabric. It ran out of his pants-leg and collected in a puddle at his feet.

Then he looked at the canteen and sighed, and sat on his wet behind. He'd been drinking like that all day, but he was still thirsty.

I'm worried about the Green Lantern creative team. They could die of thirst despite having an abundance of water, because they insist the proper way to drink it is through the ass.

Someone can still set them straight, though. Unlike the Wonder Woman creative team, who insist that the perfectly potable water is poisoned and that it doesn't matter because no one's known how to get water from the truck since World War II.

Wonder Woman Wednesday

Well, it's ridiculous that I haven't gotten in on this so far, but I've been busy Wednesdays.

The scene I initially considered is too awesome, I need to blog the whole issue and explain the context. Instead (from the same run) here's Diana meeting the esteemed wielder of the "Daggers of Vulcan" in Wonder Woman #307:

Something cheerful

I've heard this episode is getting postponed, but at least they've released some of the Wonder Woman intro. (Via)

That has to be the best first scene of a guest yet. I can't wait until she gets a full episode.

This is exactly why I say DC is being stupid about Wonder Woman.

Blog@Newsarama:

When it came to the most talked about pilot they were shopping around, Roth said he thought Wonder Woman was a very “well crafted” pilot. “But after seeing the announcement of the NBC schedule, I now understand and agree with [NBC Entertainment Chairman] Bob [Greenblatt] that it doesn’t necessarily fit particularly well with their schedule,” said Roth, “As well crafted and contemporized as it was, it was a big and radical shift for viewers to embrace this new idea — and that may, to some degree, have had to do with why it didn’t make it.”

When asked if Wonder Woman would be seen in another form, on another network besides NBC, Roth answered, “To be determined. I’m just not sure yet; we haven’t given it a lot of thought.”

One of the classic, iconic comic book characters of the 20th Century, the most recognizable female superhero in our culture, is a "big and radical shift" for viewers to embrace.

Oh, and this project got more press and excitement than ANY of the shit they'll be flinging at us next fall based purely on the name Wonder Woman but they haven't given any thought to trying another adaptation.

This is stupid. It's very clear people want some form of Wonder Woman, they were hungry for news of it. They devoured every picture and release and casting decision. People want to watch Wonder Woman.

You're supposed to be fucking businessmen. You are on top of a fucking gold mine, but you're standing around at the entrance looking at your map trying to find some copper.

It hurts to say this, but Steve Trevor is not a complete idiot.

We all like to make our "Nice house, nobody home" and head injury jokes about Wonder Woman's boyfriend, but the truth of the matter is that he's not meant to be an especially stupid person. He can be a bit slow sometimes, and he's certainly mockable for it, but he's not actually unreasonably stupid about the secret identity. Yes, this man is completely in love with Wonder Woman but does not recognize Diana Prince. There's an interesting metatextual aspect to this, but Marston was a very smart man who actually included an in-story reason for Diana's secret identity being secure.

See, the thing everyone conveniently forgets is that there actually was a Diana Prince in the Golden Age. She's the Pauper in our Diana's Princess and the Pauper style origin story. Diana Prince has a job at the hospital and a man who's going to move to South America, but she doesn't have the money to join him. Princess Diana has the money, but she's really got no home, no job, and no way to keep an eye on her danger-prone love interest while he's in the hospital. So one Diana helps the other out, and manages to get a quiet place from which to observe Man's World.

A lot of people hate the secret identity, I know those are the stories where Diana looks the worst in the Silver Age (but they are also the sort of stories where CLARK looks the worst in the Silver Age), and I actually do like emphasizing Truth and Honor as what Diana represents among superheroes. But if we have to have one (and for some reason they seem insistent upon it), I prefer the story where she comes up with it herself while helping another woman out. It's certainly better than "Batman set it up for her."

"But RAAAAGNELL! It's too implausible that she'd find an EXACT lookalike."

Bullshit.

The gods have taken an active role in Diana's life. This isn't "Magneto's magnetic powers are allowing him to control stuff that can't be magnetized" implausibility, this is "What the fuck? A Steve Trevor from an Alternate Universe breached the wall between realities at the EXACT SPOT his recently deceased counterpart landed years ago, the DAY after Diana's memory of this universe's Steve has been erased" implausibility. This is a "part of the plot, and showing the mysterious works of Fate" coincidence, the sort of coincidence that is perfectly in keeping with her fairy tale/fantasy setup, having Hermes the god of chance meetings as a patron, and knowing that the Fates have woven this meeting into Diana's life.

But how does this make Steve less dense? Well, Nurse Prince worked at Walter Reed. Steve Trevor is based in Washington and has probably been in and out of that hospital a few dozen times for physicals, checkups, and minor injuries. He may not have ever talked to Diana Prince, but he's probably seen her around. And this is an established woman with a paper trail, a birth certificate, a diploma from a nursing school and (by Kanigher's retelling) a picture of herself standing next to Wonder Woman.

Along with not realizing there was once another Diana Prince peopel also tend to forget that Wonder Woman's real name isn't Diana Prince. (At least, they do when tagging on Tumblr.) It wasn't pre-Crisis, and it's not now. She is simply not that person. She has an origin that involves being raised on Paradise Island at the same time that Diana Prince was growing up in the US. While Diana Prince was establishing her paper trail, being photographed, meeting people that a private investigator can track down and talk to, Princess Diana was on Paradise Island. And while some people may doubt that the Amazons exist and their princess never set foot on US soil until the day she dropped of Steve, there's one person who has seen and spoken to them and knows that girl never saw a man before he showed up.

Steve Trevor is the only man on the planet who can be absolutely certain of where Wonder Woman came from, and he knows it's not the hospital on Diana Prince's certificate.

But why does he insist one is more attractive than the other? Well, he's pretty dazzled by Wonder Woman and it goes much deeper than her having a pretty face. He's wowed by her strength, capability and energy, traits that are hidden when she shows up as Diana Prince.

In case you've been missing the Wonder Woman ranting

Oh, and for those of you who've been wondering when I'll get back to Wonder Woman. I've been having a rather lengthy conversation on Tumblr, here and here.

All kidding about Steve's intelligence aside, we've actually got a couple really good reasons he doesn't realize he's working with his girlfriend. I'll get around to posting about them sometime when I'm finished making pilot jokes.

Also, the usual twitter conversations with jmatonak and mizzelle. Got into a tangent today on how anti-military fans get at times. It's not just that guy on Tumblr. It's just something that comes up a lot when talking online about stuff with a civilian-military mix. You see it among SGA and Green Lantern fans too. I've seen John Sheppard, Steve Trevor, and Hal Jordan all dismissed in the same derisive way by different fans. From the POV of someone who works with military men, these are three widely varying personalities, but somehow there's fans who hate them for the exact same character traits (which they don't all possess...?).

What's really annoying is that comic writers seem to be buying into military as shorthand for one personality type, whether they like the military or not. John Stewart is being made more Marine stereotype and less John anymore. Hal's being slid into this macho military caricature. Steve was shoehorned into being Hal in the animated movie. Bucky's not always handled by other writers with the complexity Brubaker gave him. Not to mention that soldiers are pretty much cannon fodder henchmen in a lot of stories, and you only ever see reviewers point out that's a bad thing in their jokes.

Wonder if Captain America fans ever get this, or is he just a special character?

So we're back to frisson of woo.

So last week we packed up the Squadron and went out to one of the many beautiful forested areas of Germany so we could destroy the meadow with our tents, our trucks, our vans and our competition. It was both stressful and relaxing, stressful for the long hours working and relaxing for being outdoors in Germany with no access to phones or internet. As lovely as it was, we still packed in record time once we got the endex and convoyed out of there before the Germans could see what we'd done to their lawn. (I'm kidding, they play war games on that lawn too. We saw some of their units training out there, trying to ignore us.) We spent a week and a weekend there.

Oh how I wish it had been this week instead.

When I returned, the first thing I saw was the unfortunate news that NBC had passed on the Wonder Woman pilot. I had been dreading that.

Not because I badly wanted to see a Wonder Woman TV show by David E. Kelley. I did want to see it, of course. He had some interesting ideas and really, in lieu of nothing I'd take it. I read the Byrne years, after all.

Not because I knew it's failure would be used as an excuse to kill any subsequent female-led projects. It will, but sexism is overwhelming and they'd find other excuses if this was successful.

Not because I'm worried that we'll never see another media adaptation of Wonder Woman. Oh, it's going to be a long long time but that wasn't my primary concern.

No, my primary concern was the immediate Internet reaction to a Wonder Woman failure. By that I mean the hundreds of posts by hundreds of idiots who have never read Wonder Woman, yet somehow know exactly what is wrong with her. Or the ones who have read and have concluded that there is something fundamentally weak about the character as opposed to a problem with the individual creators. The ones who claim that she only survived because she's a female hero, even though there were tons of female heroes from the 40s who did not survive. The ones who claim that Freudian bondage was the only reason for her popularity, which is akin to suggesting that little boys only ever watched He-man for the homoeroticism. The ones who blame the costume or the time period. The ones who say there's nothing compelling about Wonder Woman in the post-feminist world. The ones who think she's tied solely to the war. The ones who claim that she's a piece of cardboard, a physical presence, a pair of tits, an untouchable character with no personality and no humanity.

Basically, just a giant pile of bullshit. A lot of female heroes didn't survive the end of the Golden Age, but Wonder Woman made it despite the deck being stacked AGAINST her because she was female and singled out by Wertham. Her personality is actually more clearly defined in her Golden Age origin than Clark's is in his Golden Age origin. Everything you need to know about her personality is spelled out in the classic origin, if writers can't get those traits across they are poor writers. We are not in a post-feminist society. That costume is no less stupid than Superman's. Little girls are the audience that elevated Wonder Woman to iconic status, not 40 year old fanboys.

And stop letting Frederic Wertham set your talking points, for fuck's sake.

Seriously. Wonder Woman was one of a handful of characters published continuously from the Golden Age to the Bronze Age. She is the best known female superhero in our society. People still remember that cheesy 70s show. Women who have never read comics get tattoos of her logo as a symbol of strength. She sells underoos, t-shirts, purses, barbie dolls and cosmetics.

There is nothing inherently wrong with this character.

There is something inherently appealing about this character.

DC is doing something wrong when they hire writers to "fix" Wonder Woman. You can't approach her like she's a third-string failed character who needs to be revamped. That's a road to disaster. She's not a third-stringer that only you see the potential for. She's a top tier character that millions of women have adored.

I know, post-Crisis fans are screaming in horror when I say it but this is the one character who can actually benefit from some nostalgia. They need to go back to her origin, and to the incarnations where she was the most popular (the Golden Age, the TV show) and figure out just what was the appealing aspect back then. Don't raze the place and add new stuff. Find the positive from back then, and accentuate it. Take Wonder Woman back to her roots, and streamline the old story for modern sensibilities.

If you're really confused, get outside help. Get together some people and--without telling them this is Wonder Woman's story--tell them the Golden Age origin story. Tell them about the Amazons, the princess, the pilot, and the contest. Tell them about the daughter who defied her overprotective mother. Tell them about the princess who fights dragons. Tell them about the woman who personally struggles against the God of Violence. Tell them about the warrior who rescued the monster (and don't dance around it, Men are the monsters Amazons use to scare their daughters into eating their vegetables) and nursed him back to health. Tell them about the first woman to leave her hometown in 3000 years.

Then ask them what they think of that woman, what they like about the girl in the story. That's where you'll find your Wonder Woman.

Happy Thoughts

It looks like they made a whole episode of the Brave and the Bold just for me. (Hat/tip)

That's right, not only is that a Green Lantern episode, but it's a Green Lantern episode with Star Sapphire and Wonder Woman. Not only that, I'm almost positive that's Steve Trevor. I mean, look at him. Who else is that comfortable being carried around like this?



I think we can safely assume the Wonder Woman scenes are the cold open. If so, that's an incredibly good choice for a Star Sapphire episode. The Zamarons are the outer space all-female society that create a female warrior and force her to fight her boyfriend to convince her to leave him. It's a good thing to have the princess of the peaceful earth-based Amazons being heroic in the lead-in just for that.

Also, I'm a sucker for the off chance they'll compare Steve and Hal. Those two characters have a lot in common on the surface. They're both military pilots. They're both adventurous men notable for their courage. They're both a bit slow on the uptake at times and prone to head injuries. And using the classic setup, they both love women that have some authority over them. In Hal's secret identity, his love interest Carol is his boss. Steve Trevor is dating Wonder Woman, who naturally outpowers him in every way he can imagine But they deal with courting a woman of authority... differently.

Here's Steve trying again for marriage in August, 1959.



Here's Hal asking for a date in October, 1959.



Granted, Steve has a standing Saturday night date with Wonder Woman and Carol has told Hal to call it quits for a while... but I think it's pretty clear right there why Steve has a standing date despite spending most of his time unconscious and Hal has to wear a mask and fight monsters to trick Carol into giving him a second chance.

Captain Wonder

Wonder Woman #289 opens with a five-page sequence of Wonder Woman battling the many-tentacled Kraken.



Yes, really.



It's actually a really neat fight where we get to see her helping Russian sailors, speaking Russian, and dispensing a little environmentalism. She gives us a little exposition in her thought balloons while she disentangles the monster from the ship, protects the Russian sailors, and follows it down into the ocean to discourage it from coming back to the surface.

Then she continues on her way to visit home and talk to her mother. Her goal is to get permission to bring Steve back for a purple ray treatment. She's so focused on this goal that she doesn't quite realize that Hippolyta is extra-concerned about the chance Steve might die. That's because this Steve is from an alternate universe, and Diana's memory of the previous Steve and his record two deaths in a row has been erased. Hippolyta's fears include Diana suffering another bout of grief from losing a Steve, Diana finding out her mind was wiped AGAIN, and probably having to deal with a third Steve Trevor because the Fates seem pretty big on the Diana/Steve ship.

Then she pops by the apartment to pick up her uniform and her roommates, and heads to the hospital, finds out that Steve's not there and leaves. Oh, then we find out that her second roommate is actually the Silver Swan. All in all, the exposition in this book about last issue's story takes nine pages, but it's peppered around a pretty cool fight scene and some new information. We don't get to Dr. Psycho, in the story named His Name is PSYCHO! until ten pages in, which even I'll admit is a bit odd to me. This is definitely the second issue of a three-issue arc.

Eventually we get to the moment we've been waiting for since the last panel of last issue, a naked and unconscious Steve Trevor:



Oh, and the villain.

All joking aside, we should all recognize Dr. Psycho even without the creepy facial hair. We've seen him quite recently, after all. He's been one of those villains fortunate enough to survive fairly intact to the current era. His personality and motivation have been fairly consistent. His schtick where he takes over people's minds is still around, as is his deep obsession with destroying Wonder Woman because she represents all he hates about womankind. There is a big difference, though. Right now, he's a straightforward telepathic villain. Pre-Crisis he had a slightly more interesting set of powers.

Pre-Crisis Dr. Psycho controlled minds with hypnosis, and had a spiritual twist. If he could link minds with a specific person that he referred to as a "medium", he could reach into the psychic plane and pull out ectoplasm. Then he could use that ectoplasm to make himself a physical body that he could wear like a creepy psychic suit and pretend to be a tall, dark and handsome man. The ectoplasm seems to be the traditional ectoplasm of the spirit world, and not some psionic substance. We're never clear on whether he's a mixture of two types of psychic powers, or if his mesmerizing power lets him use the medium to activate their own latent powers.

His first medium was his late wife Marva, hypnotized to marry him and stay with him. In the Golden Age Wonder Woman rescued her, in the Bronze Age he seems to have murdered her. This was unwise, because although Marva's talent was passive it was actually very rare. He spent years searching, and as of this story has only encountered one other person he can use as a medium.

I'll give you three... On second thought, there's really no point in guessing. The only other person in the world with Marva's latent power is Steve Trevor.



I'd like to stop a moment and thank Roy Thomas just for putting this idea out there. He does imply that it might just be a one-time thing because this Steve is from an alternate universe and is suffering from a "Being From An Alternate Universe"-related illness, but that doesn't change that the idea is out there. Dr. Psycho is by far Diana's creepiest villain. I can think of few better ways to annoy the living crap out of her than making it so her creepiest villain is specifically fixated on her love interest and now that option is out there.

Full disclosure here, I am the first person to cringe at the idea that Wonder Woman needs a super-powered or otherwise extranormal love interest. I don't even like giving her another vigilante like Batman or Nemesis, I prefer someone who is initiated into the World of the Weird through Wonder Woman and his association with Wonder Woman. I want him to be in love with someone from a completely different sort of reality that he has to adjust to in order to understand her just as she's in love with someone from a completely different sort of reality that she has to adjust to in order to understand him. My favorite love interest is non-powered, completely mortal Steve Trevor. Old Wonder Woman lettercols are full of people who suggest giving him super-powers, or chucking him aside for Superman, but I think those people are wrong.

That said, I am perfectly fine if he's a medium. It's receptive, passive, brimming with story potential, and suitable for a character who crosses mystical boundaries and gets knocked out/killed a lot.

Also, Captain Wonder is an astoundingly effective villain.

Sorry, I've jumped ahead of myself. See, when Dr. Psycho switches on his Evil Machine to suck ectoplasm out of the spirit world through Steve's mind, Wonder Woman bursts through the doorway. Since Dr. Psycho is already building an ectosuit for himself based on Steve's appearance, he uses the distraction to add Wonder Woman's powers to it. The result?



CAPTAIN WONDER!

This villain is often sloppily described as a combination of Steve Trevor and Wonder Woman. That leaves out two important factors. One, this villain is Dr. Psycho. Not Dr. Psycho-controlled or a Dr. Psycho illusion. Captain Wonder is like a super-suit that Dr. Psycho wears to battle. Two, this is not a Steve and Diana hybrid. This is Steve's appearance added to the powers that Steve thinks Wonder Woman has. That's a big difference, as Diana soon finds out in the battle.



Ouch.

In later scenes, we learn that he can also use the jet and the lasso because Steve has seen Wonder Woman use the jet and the lasso. Also, since Steve doesn't know any of Diana's weaknesses, Captain Wonder doesn't have any of them. Not only that, but even after Diana destroys the Ectoplasmotron Dr. Psycho still seems able to make the connection between himself, Steve and the spirit world.

He does have one hell of a weakness in that Steve has to be under Dr. Psycho's control in order to maintain that connection to the spirit world. Otherwise, the ectoplasm breaks down and Captain Wonder turns back to Dr. Psycho. Steve regaining consciousness manages to do it, which happens due to luck and things like Diana destroying the Ectoplasmotron. As Steve has the Mysterious Multiverse-Based Illness at the moment, these moments of consciousness don't last.

Still, this being Pre-Crisis Wonder Woman she always manages to win and Capt. Wonder/Dr. Psycho is down by the act break.



Captain Wonder's another good villain idea introduced by Roy Thomas that's just sat on the shelf since Crisis. They use Dr. Psycho, but because he's lost the spiritual aspect of his powers and Steve's lost prominence we're not likely to see the Captain Wonder persona anytime soon. Dr. Psycho's a really strong villain, but he can't get into a fight with Diana so he needs another villain or a strong enough hero to. Captain Wonder gave him the ability to fight her on a psychical level if he could work out the right conditions.

And honestly, I think I prefer the pre-Crisis Dr. Psycho. He's super-creepy back then too, but the spirit world aspect of his powers make him distinctive from other telepathic bad guys. This ectoplasm thing was a unique idea, and one that always brought a person for Diana to save into the equation when she squared off against Dr. Psycho. Really, if they thought of it we could have him discover this ability through a medium anytime in the future, but so few writers seem interested in reviving pre-Crisis elements that I doubt we'll see anything more than the usual telepathy.

That's a shame not only because writers seem to always be complaining that Wonder Woman has a bad Rogue's Gallery (She does not. The writers just only use the same four villains over and over again, and they don't use them to their original potential), but also because Roy Thomas uses Captain Wonder and Silver Swan together so effectively next issue.