Parenting challenges : Dealing with your child's public meltdowns

There was this really interesting topic being discussed on an online forum that I am a part of, just last week.

Q: How do you deal with your child's very loud tantrum in public : Especially if it on a flight where you can't even move out anywhere?

Here is what I wrote :)

I feel envious of all parents who have calm and composed kids on whom traditional parenting strategies have worked. We also thought all kids were nice and calm and manageable because Samarth was and still is one at nearly 9 years.

That was: UNTIL we had Sumedh. Sumedh is mostly a very happy and well adjusted toddler today but prone to bouts of whining and very loud tantrums in public :) On his worst day, we just keep praying that we are out of that place soonest!

We had to learn a lot for Sumedh's sake and I can proudly say that we are on the right track. Almost all of his unnecessary whining and crying in public has stopped because we have introspected.

1.We dont go out during his nap time and if we happen to be out then we do take a break when he can nap.

2. Main meals are always offered on time and snacks are always on hand.

Lack of the above makes him very antsy. We watched his behaviour and saw that  if he was well rested and well fed then he didn't really throw tantrums and scream as much.

Sumedh turned 3 yesterday :D The last 3 years have been quite a journey with him but we have emerged happier and stronger. We stumbled, we learned and are still learning.

The Bottom line: Every child  is different and it is up to the parent to identify the underlying issue and understand it. Children don't throw tantrums for the heck of it. They are sending out signals for something they cannot express.

Hot, Hotter, Hottest!

 

 

Middle of the year already ! June is upon us and how? The mercury is soaring here in Abu Dhabi and no amount of airconditioning can stop the fatigue from creeping upon us. It is officially that time of the year when we in the Middle East, hibernate into the comfort of our pre-cooled abodes and stay there till September :D

Talk about global warming. A few days ago, the temperatures hit a scary 50c at Sweihan in Abu Dhabi, making the UAE the hottest country in the world that day! And if this is how it is now, just imagine what July and August will look like. Hmph!

Oh and it is also summer holiday time in a few weeks from now. Maybe you are travelling to some exotic destination. Or if you are an expat then maybe you are travelling home to visit family.

Or maybe you are not doing anything at all and just staying home. Like Me. Yaaay High-Fives! Yup I am staying home this summer and instead having family over in August! :D Keeping the older one occupied won't be tough as he can be shuffled off to summer camp but I'm already looking for creative ideas to keep my toddler occupied :) water play included!

I look forward to lots of time indoors, catching up on movies and taking my kids to indoor play zones. Though it is really difficult because boys being boys - they just HATE staying cooped at home!

What are you doing this summer? Share your plans with me :) Would love to hear !



 

Milestones and new beginnings

How soon three months have sped past - officially the first quarter of 2015 is over. These first three months of the year have been so very busy in our household. Our older son had his upanayanam (janeu) ceremony in February this year - a Big cultural and religious milestone for him :) He already looks older and follows all his daily rituals diligently and it is so awesome to watch him do it :)

And as far as milestones go, the little one is not too far behind. Junior is starting nursery this upcoming month and Mommy is a mess of emotions! Oh why, oh dear God why?

The day I had waited for is nearing closer but I am all nervous and anxious. I desperately craved my freedom and thought I would do anything, just anything to get a few hours away from him but now that I am just so close to it, all I can think of is cuddling him closer to me and imprinting those moments in my mind.

Those days of him just hanging around at home, taking naps whenever, cozying up to mommy - are officially about to be over because now he will be introduced to structure. I am sure he is EXTRA ready for it because he has proven that to me. His face lights up at the thought of going to a nursery (because he obviously thinks I will be sitting there with him). I just pray that he does not cry too much and hope he settles in soonest!

In fact I think mommies have a tougher time settling than the little ones in question. Especially us SAHMs because we are just so used to a little one following us around, tugging at our clothes, asking a hundred questions and a combo of giggling and chattering endlessly. The silence is going to be unnerving at first and hopefully I will get used to it soon.

Do share with me tips on how you got your little one adjusted to the new environs! I am waiting to hear your story

 

Calming clouds : some and then more of it !

We got lucky and were able to observe and enjoy some beautiful cloud formations on our way back to Abu Dhabi today.

These photos were clicked near and around Shahama and also on the Yas stretch. 

Visually it was a treat of course, and emotionally I can't even begin to explain how it feels like to look at the sky. It is therapeutic! 

Clear clouds that suddenly turned rainy and then calmed down on one stretch : It was a delight !!

Don't just wish. Do it and start today !

 

 

In the early days of January in this year of 2015, many friends shared this hard hitting picture on social media. It has been on my mind ever since and I have been meaning to write about what it means to me.

 

 

 

Whew, what it spells out loud and clear is Don't just Wish. Do it.

Do it for yourself, and not for anyone else.
Do it not to make a statement but to make yourself happy.
Do whatever it is to enrich your soul and not because another person is forcing you to.

In fact, if you are feeling stuck-in-a-rut and bored in life, take stock at this very moment. What are you doing in life? Does your work define what you are or are you more than your work profile? What matters to you at the end of the day - think about it and write it down.

 

Most of the time we make excuses to supplement our weak intentions. If your intent is strong, then what is stopping you from doing what you wish you could do? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Small beginnings are worthwhile, no matter if they just seem like few steps.

 

When I conceptualized aRtsyuRmi (www.artsyurmi.com), it seemed too daunting. My baby was too small, I didn't have enough time on hand and yet I felt like I needed to do something for myself. Very often I get asked, where I find the time to do what I do. I feel when we are passionate about something we will always find little pockets in the time to manage to do it. Of course it is at the cost of losing out on a little nap time or it may mean fewer hours of sleep at night when a project is on hand, but the satisfaction outweighs it all.

 

I'm saying : Start small but start. Send out cold emails, conduct some fun surveys, analyze your market and be present out there. Display your skills to the world and believe me, everything will work in your favour slowly and steadily. It is in the mind.

 

Believe me when I say, God has a plan for us all. He only gives us how much we can handle. I have seen this in my own life and I can positively attest to it.

 

Have you made any life-altering changes? Share it with me, I would love to read all about it !! :-)

 

Reviewing my year so far

What a year it has been. 2015 - are you here already?

First, our TV breathed its last in the month of January and second, the better half fractured his foot in February . Read more about that here  :D

But all's well that ends well. He recovered in a month and was back on his feet, albeit a little slowly and treading carefully on the delicate foot. We enjoyed a week in Greece in the month of April. I chronicled it here.

Towards the middle of the year, our older cub S went off on his own to India to enjoy his summer holidays with his grandparents. It was a transition of sorts for all of us, and an especially big milestone for him. I just could not bring myself to say goodbye, the thought that I would not see him for nearly 2 months made my heart break. The first week was bad but daily Skype sessions with him kept our spirits up and it was nice to know that the kid was really enjoying himself with his friends and meeting up with cousins and relatives.

The little one turned 2 over the summer. He was a quiet little toddler at the beginning of this year but has progressed to a terrible tantrum throwing tot for whom it's his way or the highway. The days he is well behaved, we are all more relaxed and definitely happier. On other days, it is a struggle and seems like the end of the world. He started the year with just 3 or 4 teeth and now in October he has 16 teeth, which means he has been teething consistently through the year. Which is also a good indication of how tough it has been on all of us.

Workwise, things have been easy for me and I have only been taking on as much as I can, given my circumstances. Who ever said it was easy for mommies?

With a couple of more months towards hurtling to the end of 2014, I can only pray for peace and happiness to prevail as it has and here's looking forward to a bright and cheery 2015 :) May the best and only the very best be in store for all of us.

Creating a technology-free zone for yourself

These days there are lots of articles on the www that tell you how important it is to 'log off' and tune into your own personal self and reconnect with the person you are. Oh it is very important. Ironically you end up reading these articles when you are online and you get sucked into reading more and more of such ones till you have been online for much more time than you had allotted for yourself.

I think if we are much more realistic with ourselves, we may actually log off in the real sense rather than if it is some artifical punishment. I feel instead of marching up to everyone and saying that 'Hello, you cannot use the ipad or the laptop right now because we are having a log-off time'; it is important to introspect and see why everyone at home thinks it is important to be logged on always. I am a self-confessed social media addict and I love my phone and checking updates on it. A lot of my work happens online so that's one of my big reasons. But heck, we would always have big reasons, right? And if nothing works, the forcibly-setting-a-log-off-time would be a lovely thing to do.

In our home, we don't get the wi-fi signal in a couple of bedrooms and it was never a conscious decision. It just happened that way. We have a very powerful router but the signal is weak or almost a zero in those bedrooms and that's where I disappear if have any serious work to be done.  I leave my phone in the living room and vanish to the bedroom with my art or craft projects and guess what, I actually get a lot done without any buzzes or beeps from my device to distract me.

Another fabulous thing that works for me is that I don't have a data plan on my phone. When I am out and about, I am totally disconnected unless I can hook on to a wi-fi network. If there's a chance I am going to be out all day on a working weekday (which is very very rare), I do avail of one of those per-day data plans so that I know I am only using it for urgent reasons.

Share your experience with me :)

The POWER of a 'power nap'

Ha ! I can't believe I am the one writing about a power nap. You see, such a term never existed in my life until now. It was either the whole nine yards or none. I used to be a very deep sleeper and nothing could ever stir me, not even if a group of dinosaurs marched past me. I valued my sleep hours so much that I had never considered an alternative.

In my pre-baby days, I have been known to stretch luxuriously into afternoon naps spanning 3 hours. I didn't even need a cot, even a mat on the floor with a comfy pillow would do. And I don't ever recall having had any trouble falling asleep.

Let's fast forward to a few years later. My older one was a peaceful child, he would sleep and let us sleep too. But the younger boy is a different story altogether. He is a restless sleeper-kicker-shouter all rolled into one. So in the wake of my current scenario, I decided to venture into power nap territory. And oh, what a discovery it has been !!

I take the best power naps these days. Just a 15 minute shut eye gives me enough energy for the whole evening and makes me a happier person. And that automatically means everyone around me is happier.  My tot sleeps for about 1.5 hours every afternoon so I try and time my nap accordingly. The older one is back home from school by then so I can't just abandon him and go tuck myself in bed - so this nap is planned and executed accordingly.

My power naps are taken on my comfy couch. The older one feels I am with him in the same room, gives him comfort and also I get to indulge.

Do you take power naps? Does it rejuvenate you? :-) Tell me your story!
 

How was your summer?

Summer is yet to start moving out of the UAE! Our days are still so sticky, and the super-hot scorching sun continues to beat down ruthlessly. I just can't wait for the winter to arrive!

Here's what I did :

I spent all of the summer here this year while my older one was in India with relatives, he had a blast! I was busy getting my website all organized and sorted, and finally launched it on July 14th :D Have you seen it yet? If not, do log on to www.artsyurmi.com and tell me how you like it! I have decor items up there, and lots of handicrafts!

I was busy with a couple of orders over the summer that kept me busy and I am hoping to continue being busy and buzzing as always 'coz that's what keeps me ticking! Once the weather gets better, I will be able to take the kids out to the park at least and they can get a lot of outdoor time. It is so limited now, and my younger one especially hates being indoors!

The festive season is upon us now. We celebrated Gokulashtami and Ganesh Chaturthi and this month it's Navratri followed by Diwali next month! I love festivals, making sweets, making rangolis, flowers, the fragrance of incense sticks; lamps, EVERYTHING :-)


What did you do all summer? Leave me a comment :-)

My new website!

www.artsyurmi.com is now LIVE !!

Hop on the newest portal in the www to discover a unique and eclectic selection of home décor items in ceramic, terracotta and glass! In addition I also have a section on Eco Décor items - these are beautiful pieces that have been created by upcycling used packaging material.

The website is so easy to navigate and the payment options are also so convenient!

UAE Shoppers can avail of a fantastic $5 shipping rate - isn't that awesome!!

 

My very first opportunity to witness a live sports game!

The IPL fever is on; and I got a chance to be a spectator yesterday at the KKR versus RR match. For the uninitiated, KKR is Kolkata Knight Riders and RR is for Rajasthan Royals :-)

I won't call myself an avid cricket buff but my husband is, so every once in a while I like to join in the spirit of the game just to give him some company! But IPL is an exception because it's just a 20 over match and the innings are over pretty soon - the worst is test cricket when they just keep playing for days together, what a drag!

We went along with my cousin and his wife - more the merrier! We got to the stadium around 2 hours before the match started so we had to brave the heat for some time before sunset. The stadium was already filling up with fans from both sides and by the time it was 1830 - the crowds were roaring!! WOW, what an adrenaline rush! I can totally understand - Cricket is a HUGE passion in the Indian sub continent!

RR won the toss and batted first, we cheered at all the boundaries and sixers, boo-ed at the loss of wickets and then......... came.......... King Khan, to support his team's innings. He looks quite lean and yes, age is showing on his face - but hey he is Shah Rukh Khan :D :D Sorry I'm gushing like a teenager here!!

KKR batted really well, and the game closed with both teams drawing at a 152. They played a super over following which ... Rajasthan Royals WON ! - What a cracker of a match! I am so glad I got to be there, thanks to my parents and my inlaws who took care of the kids at home :-) It was sure worth every minute and all the excitement!