The Thin Blue Dance Line

 

Babylon Bee 

 An alleged mugger is still believed to be at large in the city today after fleeing the scene of the crime as soon as the New York Police Department Dance Squad arrived.

The incident, which authorities believe to have occurred early this afternoon near Midtown Manhattan, was still in progress when witnesses say the perpetrator saw the NYPD Dance Squad approaching, causing the aggressor to break off his attack and run away in terror.

"He took off once he saw the dancers got here," one eyewitness said. "It was obvious that he wanted no part of them. Honestly, who can blame him? If I saw that group rolling up toward me, I'd want to get as far away from them as I could. I've never seen such a strong crime deterrent."

As word of the NYPD Dance Squad has continued to spread throughout the city's underworld, officials reported a noticeable decrease in criminal activity. "It's had a surprising effect on crime," said an NYPD source. "The mere mention of the dance squad sends criminals scrambling away in horror. We told the inmates at one of our local detention centers that we'd bring the dancers in if they didn't shape up, and we've never seen such model behavior."

A city of pure re-imagination...

 

X/Twitter 

The coffee stained picture of the dead cop is pretty pretty pretty good.

Caption Linky Restler

  

Thought this would be a good way to end 2023. Our favorite fauxgressive in a bad mood at a fake protest with his masters from lobbyist non profits Transportation Alternatives and Open Plans last summer. This is the first time I've seen him really pissed off. He's come a long way since he was gerrymandering homeless people for former mayor and now gigolo Bill de Blasio. Happy New Year everybody.

Streets are for all people

There are more of us than are of them...

Caption Chirlane McCray and her husband

 

Yes I know I should have used this today instead of the Post story post but it's worth it because this will probably be the last picture we see of these two in the limelight. (Until de Blasio gets called to testify for his role in the pandemic extortion scam and surveillance censorship he pulled with Dave Chokshi, Mitch Katz and Ted Long).

These two can't even stand to kiss each other.

Caption Keechant Sewell's replacement

Unwanted Juan

Sunnyside Post 

 Juan Ardila, the Queens assemblymember who has been accused by two women of sexual assault and refused to step down from office, has come under fire for posting photos of himself at a community event without the permission of the attendees and the organizers.

Ardila attended an Earth Day gardening event in Long Island City last week and posted photos of himself with several of the participants at the Smiling Hogshead Ranch on Instagram. According to attendees, he was not invited but showed up.

The assemblymember and his staff circulated among the gardeners and took photos, which were subsequently posted on the lawmaker’s Instagram.

“I had a great time spending #earthday with my team at @smilinghogsheadranch in #LIC,” one post reads, with photos of attendees.

One photo included Frank Wu, a Community Board 2 member and president of the Court Square Civic Association, who was at the event with his young son. Wu requested Ardila to delete the post when he saw it.

“I asked him [to take it down]…because people might assume that I am condoning or approving or supporting him,” Wu said. “There have been some bad things reported, unacceptable things. I didn’t consent to have my photo taken.”

Ardila’s staff did take it down, although it had been up for more than a day.

Ardila, who first took office in January after winning the 37th District assembly seat vacated by the now-retired Catherine Nolan last year, has been accused by two women of sexual assault that allegedly took place at a party in October 2015.

The accusations were made public in March when one of the victims reached out to local media—including the Queens Post—and said that Ardila “got physical” with her – and was “touching her” — while she was drunk on a couch at the party. Another woman at the same party has also accused him of groping her.

Ardila apologized for his behavior in a statement shortly after the accusations were made public.

“I fully take responsibility for my actions…and I am interested in and eager for a restorative justice-centered process, so that we can heal and repair the damage done.”

Restorative justice??? That's what he's banking on?  No wonder all those fauxgressives like that policy.

Why doesn't the Assembly Person try to photobomb the latest Transportation Alternatives and Riders Alliance rallies like he used to? Bet it's because their mega-moneyed donors have ghosted him after they pretty much platformed and elected him.

Caption Linky reimagining the BQE

Bike zealot re-imagines "Fast Car"

 

Streetsblob 

 I headed over to Wegman's today on my $7,000 cargo bike to see if there were any Presidents Day sales on soy based meat. While browsing the aisles, Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car" started playing on the supermarket sound system. I got so upset I almost put down the case of LaCroix I had in my arms and left. This song needs to stop being played in public. Why? Well, the car culture is waaay too strong in this one.

Let's set aside the fact that the song is literally encouraging reckless driving. I mean, it's called FAST CAR. And let's also set aside that the song is about heartbreak and keeping hope alive in the face of despair.

Let's get down to the real nitty gritty.

First stanza

"I want a ticket to anywhere."

If she lived in a 15 minute city, she wouldn't be clinging to a cager driving a death machine to get out.

Second stanza

"Won't have to drive too far, Just 'cross the border and into the city."

Hey lady, if it's not that far, you should be taking public transportation and saving the environment.

Fifth stanza

"So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car, Speed so fast it felt like I was drunk, City lights lay out before us"

That's how fast your loser boyfriend was driving around and you didn't bail? City lights mean there was probably a bus you could have taken home at least.

Sixth stanza

"You got a fast car, We go cruising, entertain ourselves"

OH. MY. GOD. Driving for entertainment? Burning fossil fuels to get your jollies?

"We'll move out of the shelter, Buy a bigger house and live in the suburbs"

Now this is where it really goes off the rails. We amateur urbanists all know that poor people don't drive or own cars. And the writer has dreams of living in the suburbs, the worst possible place for anyone to live! You belong in an inner city housing project, honey.

I know Ms. Chapman is a respected folk singer and that it's black history month and we need to listen to black voices and all, but she gets my white transportation activist ire up. Tomorrow I am going to call the Master of Urban Planning Department at Hunter College and see if any of the students there would like to focus their thesis on how car culture in songs detroys cities.

Caption sleepy Mayor Adams

Queens Liar Gets Sworn Into Congress

PIX 11 News 

 

 George Santos was sworn in to the House of Representatives early Saturday to represent New York’s 3rd Congressional District, despite the scrutiny he is facing for lying about his experience.

Santos has admitted to lying about his heritage, work experience, education, and a bevy of other falsifications regarding his life during his primary and general election campaigns.

Democrat Zimmerman challenges Santos to resign and face him again in special election

“I apologize if anybody feels hurt or betrayed,” Santos previously said during an interview with City & State.

Several of Santos’ colleagues in Congress have called for a House Ethics Committee investigation into his actions, including Congressman Ritchie Torres.

Santos should consider resigning, veteran GOP lawmaker says

“The process starts with the Office of Congressional Ethics which will conduct a preliminary review and then if the preliminary review finds that the allegations have merit, they will refer the matter to the Ethics Committee,” Torres said.

In a statement on Wednesday, Santos’ spokesperson told PIX11 News the lawmaker is focused on his new job representing New Yorkers.

“George is preparing to take on his responsibilities in Congress and preparing for the next chapter. When he is able to allocate time to press inquiries, he will,” he said.

On Tuesday, Joseph Murray, an attorney for Santos, specifically addressed an unresolved 2008 fraud case against Santos in Brazil, which has reportedly been revived.

“In the abundance of caution, I am in the process of engaging local counsel to address this alleged complaint against my client,” wrote Murray, adding that he has not been contacted by law enforcement from any jurisdiction about criminal allegations against Santos.

 Yahoo news

Embattled congressman-elect George Santos left his Queens apartment with massive damage before moving on with his campaign trail, his former landlord has said.

Mr Santos and his sister Tiffany Lee Devolder Santos lived in the apartment in Whitestone until three months ago, the New York Post reported. The landlord of the two-bedroom 960-sq-ft apartment said that the siblings never paid rent late, but did cause damage.

“They had four dogs and they did a lot of damage to the place, so they left,” Nancy Pothos told the Post.

The outlet also reported that the modest residence, bought in 1999 for $200,000, is estimated to be worth $2,900 a month.

The Post’s report comes just days after a report from New York outlet Gothamist revealed that Mr Santos wrote that he was mugged on his way to deliver a rent cheque to Queens Housing Court on 15 January 2016 in an effort to resolve his case.

It is unclear whether that was the same residence rented by Ms Pothos.

The New York City Police Department has no record of any such attack.

The Republican wrote that he was “unable to provide a police report” and was told to return to police several days later to pick one up, according to an affidavit that was filled out under oath.

At the time, Mr Santos was set to pay $2,250 in back rent for his Queens apartment.

A spokesperson for NYPD told the outlet there was nothing on file related to Mr Santos’s claims.

 

Community board tells the Department of Transportation Alternatives to suck it

 

 Queens Chronicle

Community Board 10 voted in favor of a “nasty letter” being sent to the city Department of Transportation after Rosemary Ciulla-Frisone, chair of the Transportation Committee, shared news that parking spots in the neighborhood will be sacrificed to the Carshare program.

“They did not come to us, the community board, to say, ‘Hey, you know, we need your help to find a location where we can do this pilot program,” said Ciulla-Frisone at last Thursday’s meeting at the Old Mill Yacht Club.

The four locations will include two in South Ozone Park, one in Ozone Park and one in Richmond Hill.

“What that means is we’re going to lose parking and we don’t want that,” she said.

The program provides on-demand access to vehicles for short-term use, designating dedicated parking spots for the use of eligible carshare organizations, according to the DOT’s website.

Chair Betty Braton agreed with one member that the agency was not asking but rather telling the board that this would be done.

“But you guys can ask me to write the nasty letter to them,” Braton quipped. “Is there a motion for me to do that?”

It passed unopposed.

 

Fugitive Kathy

 

NY Post

Gov. Kathy Hochul used the old “bait and switch” to avoid post-debate questions from the city’s press corps on Wednesday — luring reporters away from a campaign event in Brooklyn and then ducking out a back door.

The sneaky strategy unfolded just hours after Hochul’s first and only face-off with Republican challenger Lee Zeldin, during which the incumbent Democrat stunningly said she couldn’t understand why it’s “so important” to lock up criminals.

In the wake of the controversial remark, Hochul stumped for votes at the RAICES Times Plaza Neighborhood Senior Center, where she individually chatted up about 30 people as they ate lunch in the basement cafeteria.

Hochul then gave a brief speech in which she repeated a frequent talking point about the seizure of 8,000 firearms across the state since January, following her establishment of the Interstate Task Force on Illegal Guns.

Afterward, campaign spokesperson Jen Goodman directed reporters to the building’s lobby for a Q&A session with the Democratic governor. 

But Hochul never appeared and Goodman instead told the crowd she was headed to another event in Manhattan and said anyone who wanted to ask her questions should go there.

Reporters raced out to try to catch Hochul but only managed to spot her black SUV as it drove off.

Goodman later said that a “security threat” led to the cancellation of the Q&A session.

“At the campaign’s stop in Brooklyn, Gov. Hochul met with voters and delivered remarks prior to two protesters entering the facility and disrupting the intended gaggle space,” she said in a written statement afterward.

The Post saw a lone protester enter the lobby and stand silently with a placard urging the governor to sign the “Foreclosure Abuse Prevention Act,” which passed both chambers of the Legislature in May.

The well-dressed man engaged in a brief conversation with the building’s receptionist after the worker approached but no one took any action to get him to leave.

Caption honorary African American Brad Lander

 

Caption the cranky mayor

Mayor Adams looks like his job isn't much fun anymore, but it's more likely he's mad because he was expecting better seats. 

Caption Mayor Adams and his happy team

Party transfer crashers might effect August primary elections

 

 NY Post

The Democratic Party’s gerrymander debacle has created an extraordinary situation: New Yorkers are allowed to switch their party affiliation at the ballot booth on Aug. 23 to vote in another party’s primary elections. 

Under normal circumstances, a voter had a Feb. 14 deadline to change party affiliation for primary elections scheduled in June.

But since judges nullified the Democrats’ partisan gerrymandered district maps — which GOP critics labeled a Hochulander since Gov. Kathy Hochul signed off on them — for Congress and state Senate and ordered primary elections on Aug. 23 based on districts redrawn by a court special master, that deadline no longer applies.

Registered independent or unaffiliated voters can join a party to vote in a contested primary race and registered Republicans or Democrats could temporarily change their party affiliation and crash another party’s primary races for Congress or state Senate. 

For example, Republicans or independents could decide to re-enroll in the Democratic Party to vote in the contested primary between Reps. Jerry Nadler and Carolyn Maloney and Suraj Patel in the 12th Congressional District covering the East and West sides of  Manhattan.

Or Republicans or unaffiliated voters could switch registration to Democrat to vote in the crowded 10th Congressional District primary covering lower Manhattan and brownstone Brooklyn. Candidates include Councilwoman Carlina Rivera, Assemblywoman Yuh-Line Niou, House impeachment lawyer Dan Goldman, Rep. Mondaire Jones, former Congresswoman and Brooklyn DA Elizabeth Holtzman and Brooklyn Assemblywoman Jo Anne Simon, among others.

 

Caption New York City's doctor

Caption this smoking citibike rider

The Department of Transportation Alternatives figurehead screws up speed camera negotiations

 

 NY Daily News 

An off-the-rails trip to Albany last week by city Transportation Commissioner Ydanis Rodriguez put at risk the city’s push to run red light and speed cameras around the clock, according to DOT sources and lawmakers with knowledge of his meetings upstate.

Before the May 3 trip to the state capital, Rodriguez and DOT staffers had prepared to brief lawmakers on legislation to permit the city’s speed and red light cameras to issue tickets beyond the 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. window currently authorized by state law.

But Rodriguez went off script, DOT sources said, by pressing for even more speed and red light cameras across the city — a proposal that was previously floated by Transportation Department staffers and shot down by lawmakers.

“They prepped for extending the current cameras, not brand new ones,” said a source, who described Rodriguez’s trip to Albany as a “total f--- up.”

DOT staffers had already asked lawmakers for “home rule” for the city’s traffic camera program, which would allow the city to put as many eyes in the sky as they want without state approval.

Mayor Adams and Rodriguez have for months called for the provision, but legislators have made clear they don’t buy into the idea. It’s no secret that home rule for cameras was off the table weeks before Rodriguez’s visit, said a City Council official who asked not to be named.

But, to the surprise of lawmakers and his staffers, Rodriguez during his trip pushed for home rule for the camera program anyway, sources said.

Ydanis didn't go off script, he's doing what Danny Harris and his Transportation Scientology cult is telling him to say and do.