MIA... well DUH!

I have taken a small break on this journey due to many things going on in life and just needing the plain ol' break. During my time away someone left a very nasty, rude comment on my blog (you know who you are) and its times like that, that I am thankful for not having comments automatically published. I wrestled with publishing it or not to show this person she has no control over my life or choices, just as I have no control over hers (no matter how much I loath them), but decided that she's just not worth it. I even considered starting both of my blogs over or making my blogs private so that she could no longer see what was going on in my life, but again no one should have that kind of power over me.  I have too many wonderful things in my life to let one little, insignificant person rain on my parade.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I am ready to get back with my journey.  Its been a VERY long journey, but I keep plugging away and hoping that I will get there.  I've got some great support in both family and friends so I know eventually it will happen.  I have had to make some changes money wise to prepare for an upcoming move so I have decided to forgo my WW membership and use a fancy little online program called MyFitnessPal.  I've been using it for just over a week and so far I really like it!  I have access to it on both my computer and an app on my phone.  I've lost 1lb using it so far and I hope this is a trend I can keep up!  So back in the saddle again for the ... oh, I've lost count by now! :)

Day 1, AGAIN!

So here is Day 1 (x50 or so - LOL!). So far so good. I had a very sensible breakfast and lunch so far and am looking forward to the rest of the day being GREAT! It feels good to start being back in control of my eating.  In a bit I am going to take some time to prep my lunches for the rest of the week and plan out my dinners as well.  I need to take it meal by meal because looking at the day as a whole overwhelms me right now.  Hoping I can keep up the momentum and see a good loss at the scale next Monday.

Current Weight: 10/24/2011

146.8 (-0.8)

Not a great loss for my first week back, but I'll take it!  Here's hoping that next week will yield a bit of a higher number.

Life is a bit nutty right now as I am entering into the divorce process and its been pretty stressful and I need to work my way through this so I can start anew!  I know its not going to be an easy process, but in the end its best for all of us.  I know I have fought my hardest to do all I can to make my marriage work, but both people involved have WANT for it to work out.  I have fought and fought, but have decided its time to "throw in the towel" as I am tired of fighting to be with someone who clearly does NOT feel that same about me.  I am thankful to have had our daughter and she is the best thing that has come out of our marriage!  So please bear with me over the next few months or so if I ramble on about what is going on in my life other then my weight loss stuff.

Current Weight - Back at IT!

I am trying to get my life back on track as things have been WHACKO lately and I just want "normal" to come back.  I have changed my Weight Watchers membership once again and have gone back to meetings with my mum and my bestest friend has joined us as well; she had a baby in July and is working to get rid of the baby weight.  Anyways, I got on the scale at my first meeting this past Monday and I am up some from where I was in June when I went to the on-line program, but that's ok.  I did well this summer and fought with 3 pounds on and off until the end of August; I had some stress added to my life, but now it is gone so I can get back to doing what I need to do!

Current Weight = 147.6

Lost

My life has gone through yet another huge upheaval.  I wrote several months ago about my husband leaving me for another woman and I had things under control for a short time, but things are changing yet again.  I will write more about it later when my head is in a much clearer space.  I haven't been that great with my eating as of late or taking care of myself for that matter, period.  I have been completely knocked off my center again and I am gripping as hard as I can to stay in control and find my center once again.  I am going to take it one step at a time and get myself back on the saddle and continue to lose the rest of my weight.

*Remembering 9/11*

I have lit red, white, and blue candles in honor of all those who were lost on 9/11, as well as for the survivors left behind to deal with the wreckage, both physically and emotionally.

I know I have not blogged in a long time; I have taken a break as there have been a ton of things going on in my life as of late! I will be back shortly!

Its a new dawn.. Its a new day...

and I'm feeling good!!!!

I feel so much better this morning after writing this post about how I was feeling and reigning things back in!  So far so good!  I have already had a decent breakfast, made a healthy lunch to take to work, and already know what's for dinner! YAY me!!!

I also had a pretty serious revelation last night about the craziness that has been going on in my life over the past few weeks and that was a HUGE help for me to get back in the saddle.  This morning I feel good and feel like I can tackle anything that comes my way! Its going to be a busy, busy week - I am animal sitting for a friend who has 2 dogs, 2 cats, and 3 reptiles, as well as working double the amount of hours that I have worked since the beginning of June, plus taking care of my sweet daughter who is such a hoot! Phew... I am tired just thinking about it, but its all good!   Here's to a GREAT week!!!

The Back to Work Count-Down has Begun!

:(

Yep, that's how I feel right now.  I am heading back to my full time teaching job in just 3 short weeks.  I am looking forward to the cash flow, BUT money is NOT everything.  I am so so so sad to be leaving my sweet girl to go back to work.  We have had an amazing summer and have done so many fun things!  I was looking back over her blog and its been amazing how busy we've been that it should be no surprise to me that its nearly over.

I have been having difficulty in the last week or so keeping my eating under control, as well as being pretty anti-social with my friends IRL (both of these things are for sure signs that I am stressed and down) and I realized today how very sad I am to be returning to work.  I have realized I have been doing some emotional/stress eating due to the upcoming changes.  I have not done stress eating in a long time and that's a major victory for me, but this week has been tough so I need to reign it in!  I am embarassed to admit all I have eaten this week and need to RECOMMIT once again to being on the wagon so I can keep off the weight I have worked so hard to maintain this summer!

Tomorrow is a new day and it all starts as soon as I open my peepers in the morning.  This week is going to be a nutty week with work at my part-time summer job, so I need to plan, plan, PLAN!  I am going to sit down a bit later and come up with a food plan for the entire week so that I can be successful! Once I have it I'll be back to share!

Naked Finger

I am really feeling sad tonight over what is happening in my life right now.  I haven't said much about it, but when my husband left me over 2 months ago, I took of my engagement ring/wedding band.  I wore my engagement ring for nearly 8 years and my wedding band for nearly 6.  I have been realizing the past few days how much I miss wearing them.  I miss what they represented to me - love, safety, strength, hope.  I am truly grieving the loss of my marriage.  

I decided I needed something to wear on my ring finger so I went through my jewelry box and found a ring I haven't thought about in ages - a beautiful garnet that my Aunt Linda gave to me many years ago.  This ring means a ton to me and I am so glad to have come across it; you see, my aunt passed away from cancer  nearly 2 years ago.  Now that I have it on my finger I feel so much better and warm.

A Little Bit Stonger

As I have briefly mentioned I am going through a really rough patch in my life right now - my husband left me 2 months ago for another woman.  Some dear friends recommended I check out this song and its soooo AMAZING!

50 Followers!!

Hehe... I know that may not seem like much for those of you out there with hundreds or even thousands of followers, but I feel so privileged to have  50!! WOW! Welcome to all my newbie followers and thank you to everyone for following!!!!

Up 4 Weeks in a Row

Yep, you read that right. I have gained for 4 weeks in a row! Holy cow!  Yep, life has been nutso lately!  I am finding myself in a place in my life that I never thought I would be in - a single mom to my 3 year old daughter.  It has been a rough year and now that it is 1/2 way over, with all that I am going through, I feel like I am losing my grip on the weight loss that I have been doing so well with.  I have worked so hard to lose this weight and it is slowly creeping back on.  I hate the fact that I am letting it happen.  It makes me so angry knowing that I am not following along program to a "t"; I have not been eating crazy, but have not been tracking and when I don't track I tend to eat a bit more then I should.  Those extra little bits of food are adding up and have caused me to gain 4 weeks in a row - all small gains mind you, but gains none the less!

Today is the first day I can say that I have honestly tracked EVERY THING I have eaten.  It feels great to have done that! Now if I can keep doing that I will do just GREAT!  I also need to get back to exercising regularly!  Becoming a single mom, I have had to take on a second job, so exercise has gone by the way side.  In just over a week I will be back down to one job so I will be able to focus more of my effort back to exercising and getting off the last 10lbs!

ABCs of Me

A~Age: 34
B~Bed Size: Queen
C~Chore You Hate: Laundry!  UGH! Especially my daughters!
D~Dogs: Nope, no doggie.  
E~Eat: Anything I want! LOL! I am following the WW program to loose some poundage!
F~Favorite Color: Green
G~Gold or Silver: Both???
H~Height: 5 Feet Tall (Hey, I'm NOT short! I'm fun-sized!!!)
I~Instruments You Play: Used to play the guitar as a kid!
J~Job Title: Head Start Teacher
K~Kids: Little Miss Sunshine, who is 3 going on 15!
L~Live: NH
M~Married: Yep
N~Nickname: Jess, short for Jessica
O~Overnight Hospital Stays: Yep, a couple! Once at the age of 20 for emergency surgery and for 4 nights when my daughter was born.
P~Pet Peeve: Ignorant people
Q~Quote from a Movie: "Destiny, destiny! No escaping that for me!" -Young Frankenstein
R~Right or Left Handed: Lefty
S~Sweet Tooth: YEP!  But I love the salty stuff MORE!!!
T~Time You Wake Up: M-S 7:00 and Sunday whenever I fee like it.
U~Unusual Skill: I wouldn't call it a skill per say, but I can "lock" the knuckles nearest my finger tips on both my index fingers as well as pick things up with my feet.
V~Vegetable you Dislike: Brussel Sprouts!  :P  
W~What Makes You Late: Getting sucked into the computer and my DD!  
X~X-rays You’ve had Done: knee, ankle, teeth
Y~Yummy Food you Make: WW Potato Salad is a favorite right now, as is grilled portabello mushrooms!
Z~Zoo Animal Favorite: Gorilla 

Whats on YOUR iPod?

I am getting ready to get back to C25k and I am looking for some music to keep me pumped and going!  What's on your iPod these days?  I am looking for songs that are up beat and motivating!!!  Any ideas would be GREAT!

Ideal Body Weight

I have lost 36lbs to date and certainly am looking and feeling healthier!  According to Weight Watchers, I should weigh any where between 102 and 128.  That is a pretty wide range!  Right now my goal is to get to 128lbs.  Once I hit 128lbs I will see how I feel and then either stay there or lose a few more.  I have seen a few people in my life loose weight on WW, watched them struggle to stay at their goal weight, and eventually gain it all back.  I have struggled with weight most of my adult life and I don't want to have to fight tooth and nail to stay at my goal weight; yes I know I will ALWAYS have to watch what I eat or I will balloon back up to the person I used to be; I never want to see her face AGAIN!  I have worked too damn hard to loose it and I WILL keep it off.  Yes I know weight fluctuates a few pounds here and there, but I will hit my goal weight, make it through maintenance, and live a healthy life!  I want to be around for my my family for a very long time! I want to be a great role model for my daughter and show her that food and eating are a normal part of living and do not have to constantly be a battle.

Here is the information WW provided me from a little quiz I took! If you want to take it, go here.

Your Personal Assessment Results

Retake this assessment

Your BMI

28

Your Healthy Weight Range

102 to 128 lbs

Your body
Your Body Mass Index, or BMI, is above your "healthy" range of 20-25, in the overweight category. Research has shown that this can increase your risk of heart disease, diabetes, stroke, and some cancers. Losing weight will lower your BMI, which can reduce your risk of these health problems, and likely improve your energy levels, and overall sense of well-being. You can get the motivation and information you need to lose weight - and keep it off - with Weight Watchers.

Your healthy weight range is 102 - 128 lbs. You're currently above this range. Losing weight could decrease your risk for many serious health problems, and can also contribute to higher energy, and other day-to-day benefits. Weight Watchers can help you reach a healthy weight - and stay there.

Your mindset
Your answers indicate that your motivations for losing weight can fuel you toward long-term success, and that you understand the overarching strategies that are critical to achieving and maintaining a healthy weight. Nothing is holding you back, except perhaps some normal anxiety based on previous weight-loss experiences. Weight Watchers has a step-by-step approach that can fit easily into your life.

Another Non-Scale Victory!

I bought a skirt (size 10) a couple of summers ago on clearance at Kohl's while I was on one of my other feeble attempts to lose the poundage, hoping that I would get into it.  Well, its been sitting in the bottom draw of my bureau ever since! HA!  Anyways, yesterday afternoon I was noticing how loose my size 12 pants were and thought that just MAYBE the skirt would fit; I tried it on and am so pleasantly surprised that it FITS!!! So gosh darn excited and I can't wait for the weather to warm up a bit so I can WEAR IT!!!! Its been a long time since I had a skirt that fit that is cute and I am looking forward to actually being able to wear it!

Back on Track: Day 2!

I have been doing well with my eating, although I have not been tracking or exercising.  Yesterday I really strapped myself back onto the wagon and started tracking again.   Today is day 2 of tracking again and its been refreshing! I know that may sound odd, but I feel like I am getting back to myself.  Life has been nutty, but I am starting to feel like myself again and that life is heading upwards.  Tracking my food has made me realize that I am certainly not getting a healthy number of fruits and vegetables.  Its good to know that I am doing well other wise and I think I am finally learning portions with out having to measure everything! Yes, I know measuring stuff is important to keep track of portions, but I am hoping that some day I will just be able to eye ball it and know with confidence that I am not overeating.    I also began exercising again yesterday with 44 minutes on the Wii Fit Plus! It felt great to do so, but today I am a wee bit sore; feel the burn, baby!!!  I am glad overall to be getting back at it with full confidence and determination! I am only 15.6lbs away from my goal and I couldn't be happier!

Back in the Saddle AGAIN!

Life has been WACKO lately and I am really struggling.  I have been ignoring my weight loss; don't get me wrong I haven't been eating out of control or stress eating for that matter, but just not following program.  Today something clicked for me and I feel compelled to get back in the saddle!  So I am putting on my boots and chaps and am mounting up on that horse! YEE-HAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Plant a Garden of Success!

I am a member of the Dottie's Weight Loss Zone (DWLZ) community and get their email newsletter.  In todays edition of the newsletter, I found this and wanted to share it with you all!  It is just WONDERFUL!

Plant 5 rows of peas:
Patience
Perseverance
Preparation
Planning
Positiveness

Include 3 rows of squash:
Squash negativity
Squash dieting
Squash deprivation

Add 5 rows of lettuce:
Let us be positive
Let us take responsibility
Let us be in control
Let us reward our accomplishments
Let us be empowered

No garden is complete without turnips:
Turn up with a positive attitude
Turn up with a smile
Turn up with new ideas
Turn up with real determination
Turn up with success

MAY YOUR GARDEN FLOURISH!!! 

Newsletter Sign Up

Dotti's Newsletter Subscription Page -
http://www.dwlz.com/eletter.html

(You can also unsubscribe from Dotti's Newsletter there.)

Non-scale Victory!

I have had a pair of size 12 jeans sitting in my bureau for some time now; I tried them on last week and they FIT! They are a WEE bit snug, but they fit!  Today I put them on for work and one of my co-workers commented on how good I am looking! She asked me how much I had lost and told she me is so happy for me! She can tell I am trying really hard and it is paying off!! YAHOOO!! Thank you Deanna for making my day!