This is one of the earliest stories I wrote. It obviously expresses a less nuanced and more angry and immature take on religion. It's also overly vulgar and violent (without need) and is underdeveloped thematically. Other than that, enjoy!

Then one fine Sunday afternoon, Billy Ray said "Fuck it."

It was about forty five minutes after his papa's sermon had finished. Today's diatribe had been particularly filled with hellfire and brimstone, as the honorable Reverend Franklin condemned those who took part in pre marital fornication, recreational drugs and listened to that "damned" rock n' roll music. In other words, Reverend Franklin was talking about his one and only son, Billy Ray. Normally, that would've been just peachy, it wouldn't have been any skin off of Billy Ray's nose, Billy Ray didn't normally attend his papa's Sunday service. Today, however, Billy Ray had been sitting in the front row.

Reverend Franklin had been nagging Billy Ray to come to a service ever since February, when his mama passed away. Billy Ray hadn't been since her death from cancer. Reverend Franklin kept telling Billy Ray that he prayed for him and hoped that he would let Jesus save him. Jesus had saved his mama right before she had died. That left Billy Ray as the only member of the family who was holding an express ticket for the trip to hell. Billy Ray wasn't ready to give his life to Jesus, though, on account of the fact that he enjoyed having sex, using drugs and listening to that "damned" rock n' roll music.

But Billy Ray didn't have any other family left besides his papa. He had physically lost his mama and he didn't want to mentally lose his papa. Reverend Franklin was hard to talk to, what with every other word he spoke being God this and Jesus that. It was enough to drive you crazy. Or at least it was enough to drive Billy Ray crazy.

Billy Ray was tired of hearing the same old shit over and over. Especially since his papa, the honorable Reverend Franklin, had gotten his mama pregnant out of wedlock. She had been the 18 year old daughter of one of his faithful flock when they flocked and she got faithful. Five months later Reverend and Mrs. Franklin were wed in a small church ceremony not attended by the bride's parents. Three months later, Billy Ray was born. That's the way his mama told it to him, at least.

The new Mrs. Franklin had never been religious prior to doing it with the honorable Reverend Franklin and she didn't do much to become religious after they got hitched. This, of course, bugged the hell out of the Reverend, but seeing as he wouldn't want people to think he had a kid out of wedlock, he just stuck with it. The flock loved that their honorable Reverend was able to be charitable for so long to a woman who was such a sinner. Then she got cancer and he was able to convert her right before she died. The flock loved that their honorable Reverend was able to save the sinner before she was able to send herself to hell.

All these stories were pretty much bullshit to Billy Ray. He knew his papa treated his mama like shit. He knew the Reverend beat her and cussed her and threatened her all the time with all that hell and fire and eternal damnation. He knew his papa treated her like a punching bag. He knew 'cuz the honorable Reverend did all the same things to Billy Ray, seeing as how the Reverend took all that spare the rod nonsense pretty literally.

Billy Ray even had a pretty good idea that there was no cancer in his mama. He had never seen her go to the hospital and had never seen no doctor come to the house. Billy Ray pretty much had it figured that the honorable Reverend, who had been beating her for so long, had finally beat her so bad she died. It was enough to drive you crazy.

Since Billy Ray had turned eighteen in January, he didn't have to do nothing that his papa said any more. He moved out of the house that had been his mama's prison for so long and moved in with his friend Jimbo, who lived right down the street. Billy Ray and the Reverend still saw each other pretty often, seeing as how they lived on the same street and all. Every time they talked to each other, it was always the Reverend telling Billy Ray about how he was going to hell and wouldn't he come up to the church on Sunday so that he could be saved. Billy Ray was always saying no. The Reverend was always telling Billy Ray about how his friends were leading him down the path of unrighteousness and that how just because they were going to hell didn't mean that Billy Ray had to go with them. He called Billy Ray's friends degenerates and sinners and disciples of Satan. A bunch of crap like that. Every time they talked it was the same old thing. It was enough to drive you crazy.

But finally Billy Ray thought to himself that he could be the better man. He thought that he could take some of the Reverend's advice and turn the other cheek. Billy Ray didn't go for all that Bible stuff, but sometimes, he thought, it had some good stuff in it. Not the stuff Reverend Franklin used to say to Billy Ray and his mama, but some of the other stuff.

So Sunday morning came and Billy Ray was sitting there in the front row, being the bigger man and turning the other cheek. The Reverend saw this and smote that cheek as well.

"I'd like the congregation to all join hands an pray with me. We're gonna pray for the lost soul of one of our own. We're gonna pray for the sins of one who has been shown the light and rejected it. We're gonna pray for the sins of one who has left the house of the Lord for the house of Satan. We're gonna pray that Jesus can forgive a young man who so boldly rejects Christ's sacrifice. We're gonna pray for who has rejected the word of God for the evils of fornication and the forbidden pleasures of vice and debauchery."

By this time, Billy Ray knew exactly who the honorable Reverend Franklin was referring to.

"Yes, people, it is possible, even for a man of the Lord to fail."

Gasps filled the room.

"Where I was able to save my beloved Anna, my boy Billy Ray has chosen the path of darkness."

More gasps from the faithful but fragile flock. They knew Billy Ray was a sinner, but to here it pass from the lips of the honorable Reverend was a confirmation of their deepest darkest fears.

"Let us pray for young Billy Ray, once so promising, now so wicked."

It was enough to drive you crazy.

After the prayer, Billy Ray zoned out. He didn't look at the modest but ever present smirk of superiority that flashed across his papa's face. He didn't see the sad superior eyes of the flock that looked at him with disappointment and a hint of fear. He didn't see the collection plate that passed through his own hands, collecting hard earned money to fill his father's filthy coffers. He didn't see the faithful flock slowly depart the church, casting that same sad superior eye upon him as they left. But all of this Billy Ray didn't see. Billy Ray couldn't see anymore. He was blinded by the light.

* * *

Billy Ray definitely didn't see or hear his papa talking to Mrs. Martin, the middle aged widow who lived three blocks from the church.

"I'm sorry Reverend Franklin, but I forgot my change purse and I don't have any money with me for the collection plate." She had tears in her eyes. Billy Ray didn't see her tears.

"The Lord will forgive your transgression, my child." The honorable Reverend Franklin hugged Mrs. Martin close to him. The firmness of her breasts against his chest stirred something manly in him, but Billy Ray didn't see this.

Mrs. Martin sharply looked up at the Reverend. She wiped away her tears as a smile came to her face.

"Are you gonna be here for very long, Reverend Franklin?"

The honorable Reverend was good enough at his job to be able to sense an opportunity before it was offered to him.

"My child, I will be here as long as you need me to be."

She broke his embrace and started walking rapidly toward the chapel doors.

"I'm gonna run home and get my change purse! It's not very far and I can be right back with some money for the collection!" She was so happy she was crying again.

"The Lord blesses you, my child."

"Thank you Reverend, I'll be right back. I love you."

"Hurry my child," he called out to her, then spoke under his breath, "You'll never know how much I love you, too." But Billy Ray, who didn't see any of this, didn't hear any of it either.

* * *

The honorable Reverend Franklin watched his son sit blankly in the pew for a few minutes before he went back to his chambers to count his collection. He sat at his table and began separating his loot into various piles according to their denomination. Mr. Dimmsdale at the bank liked it better when the money was separated by denomination. It made him smile.

When Billy Ray tiptoed into the room and hit his papa over the head with a heavy iron candlestick, the Reverend was too busy counting his money to even know what hit him.

* * *

When the honorable Reverend Franklin woke up several minutes later, he was bound and gagged to the chair he had been sitting on. His right eye was blind on account of the blood that was pouring into it from the wound on his head, which throbbed heavily. Out of his left eye he could see that Billy Ray was standing in front of him holding the candle stick. He still had that blank look on his face. In his other hand, Billy Ray held what appeared to be a portable radio, one of those small transistor type things. Reverend Franklin could see that his money was scattered across the floor, having been knocked out of the neat stacks he had placed it in. It was enough to drive you crazy.

"Hey papa," Billy Ray said in a monotonous voice, no emotion showing. The Reverend had no way to respond, the gag was real tight. "I'm gonna play you a little music and then I'm gonna give you this message I got from mama."

A look of sheer panic crossed the honorable Reverend's eyes, but Billy Ray couldn't see that. After setting down the candlestick, Billy Ray pulled up a bench and set the radio on it. He turned it on leaned over to look into his papa's eyes as the radio blared to life, the DJ's voice so loud that it could be heard outside the church.

"This is K Billy's Super Sounds of the 70s," announced the announcer, "And now 'A Little Green Bag'." The George Baker Selection filled the room with devil music.

Billy Ray picked the candlestick up off the floor and walked toward his papa. The Reverend could see his that his own blood covered the candlestick. It was enough to drive you crazy.

"I'm sorry I gotta do this, papa, but it really ain't my fault," Billy Ray knelt down in front of his papa and looked him directly in the eyes. The Reverend saw nothing in Billy Ray's eyes but blankness.

"You see all that devil music I listen to has made me go plum crazy and now I'm gonna take that craziness out on you."

Reverend Franklin's eyes bugged out as Billy Ray held the candlestick up to his father's face. The Reverend's eyes closed as his son brought the candlestick down and smashed it into his shoulder. It hurt, but not too bad.

"Just kidding, papa! Don't you have any sense of humor."

For a second, the honorable Reverend Franklin almost believed that his son was joking. Then Billy Ray hit him in the other shoulder. Again, it hurt, but not too bad. The Reverend thought he might get out of this without too much pain. Billy Ray thought otherwise.

"I've got a message from mama." Billy Ray stood up. "She said she didn't like all that shit you did to me and her and that I should give you a little taste of your own medicine."

The Reverend tried to scream from behind his gag, but all that came out was a muffled sound.

"What, you wanna say something? How 'bout all them times you told mama to shut up! How 'bout that?" Billy Ray smacked his papa across the right side of his jaw with the candle stick. A sharp pain shot from the point of impact straight up to the Reverend's head, which started throbbing.

"Yeah, mama said to tell you that one was for '73."

It was in 1973 that the Reverend and Mrs. Franklin were married.

"And here's one for '74."

Billy Ray hit his papa in the right ear. Blood from the new wound trickled down to the Reverend's face. Billy Ray switched the candlestick to his right hand.

"Don't forget '75, papa." Billy Ray smashed the other side of the Reverend's jaw. The bone broke. The Reverend screamed and could be audibly heard through the gag. The radio played "Stuck in the Middle with You," by Stealer's Wheel.

"Here's to the Spirit of '76, papa." The candlestick glanced of the side of Reverend Franklin's left temple, which began swelling immediately.

Billy Ray continued to pound the candlestick into his papa's upper body. One hit for each year of abuse the Reverend had suffered onto his loving wife. Somewhere in the mid 80s, Billy Ray stopped. With the same blank look on his face, Billy Ray walked to his battered and bleeding papa and pulled the gag from his mouth.

* * *

Right about that same time, Ms. Martin returned with her offering for today's services. She walked into the church and heard the loud devil music, which was offensive to her delicate ear. Then she heard Reverend Franklin scream.

"Shut up, you fucking bastard!" She heard a younger voice yell. Then she heard a loud thwack sound and another scream from the Reverend. The younger voice then said something about '86, which Ms. Martin thought was a weird thing to say when people were screaming.

Seeing as how the Sheriff's office was just down the street from the church, Ms. Martin decided that she'd let the Sheriff handle this. She turned around and quickly walked out of the church.

* * *

"I know you're hurting, papa, 'cuz I can feel your pain." Billy Ray knelt down in front of his papa again. The Reverend raised his bloody face up to gaze at his son, the bad seed.

"I know how you feel, sometimes being good isn't easy. Hell, I can't control myself around this rock n' roll and all them drugs and all that fornication I been doing."

Reverend Franklin said nothing, his jaw throbbed along with the rest of his battered head.

"I wonder if the way you feel now was the same way mama felt when you beat her. Then again, I really don't care, 'cuz it don't change nothing. You see, I'm gonna give you one chance to redeem yourself. That's right, one last chance."

The Reverend was definitely paying attention now, maybe there was a way to get out of this alive. Maybe his son wasn't going to kill him.

"I'll give you one chance to save yourself. All you have to do is renounce God."

Something made the Reverend think that his son was telling the truth. All he had to do was say that he renounced God and his son would let him live. He was in too much pain to think too much about it, he just wanted this nightmare to be over. He was going directly to the Sheriff's office and have his son put away for his sins.

"...okay . . .," croaked the Reverend.

Billy Ray looked at his papa's face.

"What was that? I couldn't hear you."

"I said ...okay . . .," again the voice was so weak Billy Ray could barely hear it. He reached over and switched off the radio.

"I want you to say it out loud you bastard, I want you to say it before God and me as your witness. Say that you don't accept Jesus as your savior. Say that hate God! Say that God doesn't exist!"

" ...I ...I ...hate God. . .," the Reverend softly said and closed his eyes.

"Fucking bastard!" was Billy Ray's response. He swung the candlestick so hard that when it struck his papa's head, the skull cracked and the candlestick got stuck. The force of the blow knocked his father, still tied to the chair, over onto the floor. He was dead before the chair stopped moving. Billy Ray didn't know whether or not his papa was dead, so he pulled a .22 automatic out of the rear waistband of his church pants and shot the Reverend three times.

"That was for '96, papa."

* * *

Outside, Sheriff Robertson and his two deputies, who had just pulled up to the church in their cruiser, heard the gunshots. The sheriff put the megaphone to his lips and called out to the unknown person and/or persons inside the church.

"Whoever you are, put down your weapon and come out with your hands up! This is the sheriff! I repeat, put down your weapon and come out with your hands up!"

Deputies Reed and Tate knelt behind the cruiser, which was parked on the curb in front of the church, and drew their service revolvers. They weren't really ready to have to shoot anyone, but you never knew.

Deputy Reed looked over to Deputy Tate: "I sure got a bad feeling about this."

"I know what you mean," replied Deputy Tate.

Sheriff Robertson repeated his message.

* * *

Billy Ray stood up and started walking calmly toward the front of the church. The blank look still on his face, the loaded gun still in his hand.

Outside, the sheriff repeated his message, but Billy Ray didn't hear him. Billy Ray went to the front door of the church and pushed the door open. He raised the .22 and started firing in the direction of the sheriff's cruiser. Billy Ray's shots missed not only the car, but also the Sheriff and the Deputies by a mile, but Bill Ray didn't see that. Deputies Reed and Tate opened fire on Billy Ray, hitting him twice in the chest and once in the abdomen, but Billy Ray didn't see them. He fell as if he had fainted, dropping the .22 to the pavement.

Deputy Tate took the lead and they slowly crept toward Billy Ray's blood covered body on the sidewalk in front of the Church. Deputy Reed kicked the .22 away from Billy Ray as both men held their weapons aimed directly at Billy Ray's head. They could see his lips moving, but they couldn't hear what he was saying.

The sheriff wanted to know what Billy Ray's last words were. It would be great to sell to one of those tabloids that always had stories about this kinda stuff. He could see the headline already: "Ungodly Gunman's Last Words!" And the subheading: "Heroic sheriff hears killer's confession!"

He knelt down next to Billy Ray and leaned his body in toward Billy Ray's moving lips. He could hear every word Billy Ray said.

"...Bless me father for I have sinned ...I admit my sins and renounce my evil ways ... I accept Jesus as my personal savior ...Bless me father for I have sinned ...I admit my sins and renounce my evil ways ...I accept Jesus as my personal savior ...Bless me father . . ."

Sheriff Robertson turned and looked at his deputies.

"That's the damnedest thing I've ever heard."

"What," replied Deputy Tate.

"He's praying."

"Not only that," said Deputy Reed, holding Billy Ray's gun. "But the gun ain't even loaded."

"Oh, shit," said Sheriff Robertson.

* * *

It might interest one to know, according to Reverend Franklin's Bible, that after Billy Ray and his papa died, Billy Ray went to Heaven and his papa went to hell. It was enough to drive you crazy.