A Funny Story

So I'm entering a contest for funny pregnancy stories and since my original was too long I had to shorten my entry. But I couldn't bear to no have the full story out in the open. I typically don't write stories, but it turned out so perfectly. The long version (here) is so much funnier. I'll let everyone know how the contest goes and if voting is involved. For now I hope this makes you laugh.

As poor newly wed college students our home was a luxurious 1 bedroom basement apartment with no A/c and lots of "quirks." So when summer hit, I sought refuge. Being a full time student I relished the A/C of the campus buildings, choosing my routes to avoid the out doors. But in between my cushy job as the cafeteria cashier (where my co-workers regularly smuggled me my favorite cravings) and classes, I was miserable. I had to find relief.

So one day while shopping at the local Wal-Mart, inspiration struck. A discounted kiddie pool, not the inflatable or hard shell variety but it could hold cool water and we could afford it. So my sympathetic husband purchased the pool and an inflatable inner tube, and we headed home.

It was heaven!

Every day I'd come home from work and school, and put on the most comfortable clothes I had – my husbands gym clothes. I'd blow up my inner tube, grab my homework and a clip board, and waddle outside. I'd remove the tarp off of my haven and lower myself in. After a small struggle with my baby, whose first instinct was to escape the frigid water via my rib cage, he'd resign himself to the change in temperature and my downward shoving. Once adjusted, I'd slip on my inner tube, which wouldn't go past my chest, lean back, the inner tube acting as my stomach muscles since they were shot, and proceed to do my homework.

I would wallow like this until I had to pee or was chattering. My neighbor's husband was greeted from his day at work by the beached whale residing in the backyard and my own husband always knew where to find me after work.

As you can imagine I endured quite a bit of ribbing from the two men, but it was worth every ounce of relief. But these aren't the ones I feel bad for. Behind our house was a 3 story complex of men's only housing. Those boys who ventured to look out their window to spot hot chicks walking to class caught instead the sight of my 7 month pregnant body in school issued gym clothes with unsightly white hairy legs, squeezed into a neon yellow inner tube sprawled out in a kiddie pool.

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