ANNIE ARKWRIGHT WIMBLEDON BALL GIRL

Did ya see that!!! Annie Arkwright from Accrington, being carried off Centre Court at Wimbledon and on TV.  Did you see our Annie?  She didn't have a ticket but lucky for her she found a ball girls security pass and walked in 'as bold as brass', borrowed a uniform and actually managed to get onto Centre Court for Andy Murray's match. But Kyrgios from Australia, his opponent, lost his rag. Whacked the ball so hard it ended up in Annie's mouth. Whereupon Andy rushed over to see if she was alright, gave her a big beaming smile and she swooned and fainted, flashing her purple thong in the process! Sexy minx.  That was the last she saw of Andy's luscious muscly body, and it was only the first set. She will never forgive Kyrgios for that!!!! Eeeh Annie lass tha' does get into some scrapes. Never mind, ya managed ta get in fer a wee while Annie:)

ANNIE/ICON/CADBURY'S EGG/ZEBRA

Well our Annie Arkwright from Accrington, had a very busy Easter, indeed to goodness.

First of all she had a couple of days in Spain. She dashed off to the loo and when she got back to the Easter Parade one of those carrying the icon had fainted with the heat, so our Annie stepped in to help you.  Don't you just dread this happening.  Eeeh Annie your bloomers are on show for all to see.

Then our lovely Annie went to an Easter Parade, dressed in her very best Easter finery.  But Eeeh lass I think you have your costume on upside down.  Hope she doesn't do a hand stand or we might see her bloomers again.

And then, for a treat, Annie went to the Zoo.  You know how she loves to wear very fashionable clothes.  Well this year stripes are in, as you know.  Excitement was rife at the zoo, as the new baby zebra was to be shown to the public. Well, the photographer thought he was seeing a funny shaped zebra, but guess what, it was our Annie stroking the new baby Zebra.  Now you see her now you don't.  What a special snapshot.  

I hope you all had a lovely Easter.

ANNIE ARKWRIGHT WINS IRISH DANCING COMPETITION

Annie Arkwright from Accrington got a lift yesterday,to Liverpool with Dan Druff her 99 year old neighbour.  She got the 9.30 ferry to Dublin and hot footed it to The Leprechauns Rest in Ballybunnion, to take part in the St Patricks Day Celebration. But, oh dear, she got the date wrong so she was the only one that turned up for the Irish Dancing Competition. Eeeh Annie lass what an eejit! Good news is she had lots of spectators watching only her, including May O'Nays and Paddy O'likely (he's on the front row). Enjoy the craic Annie and the black stuff!

 Happy St Patricks Day to Annie and you all

ANNIE ARKWRIGHT STORY SO FAR

I'm sorry not to have been blogging for a long while.  I have hardly painted anything. Strange how you can lose that inspiration. Well I am now back on track. I have paintings in my head.  You know the feeling.

I did, however, challenge myself to try one of these DIY  FREE websites for my art.  Well they say it's easy, you just drag and drop blah de blah.  I have no one to help me so this was done all by myself through trial and error. Bit by bit I struggled through, forgetting from one visit to the next how I did each action. Did I literally sweat over this.  Well I did it!  Me!  I wrote my own web site.  I will absolutely panic if anyone gets in touch though, but oh I feel so proud of myself.  Perhaps you will take a look and give me some feedback on here.  http://artbypollybirchall.weebly.com

Now here is a happy story.  My friend Annie Arkwright from Accrington has found a new home. (The picture was my first ever of Annie - just to put you in the picture - has been bought by a friend of mine).

You see Annie was a gentle, quiet, kind, motherly type of figure, who everyone called Auntie Annie.  She was a good artist, in particular painting weird and wonderful abstracts, she baked lovely cakes for special occasions, like weddings, special anniversaries and for Christmas. A right clever devil really. Until, one day she picked up a book by accident off the shelf in the library.  She thought it was an instructional art book about colour mixing. She really needed help with her greys.

Annie here is reading Fifty Shades of Grey!   She has now decided to grow old disgracefully.  She's going to ditch the yellowed bloomers and thermal vest and buy a black and red basque from Evans, and has joined a northern dating agency on t'internet, who claim "We'll get yer a bloke lass". I say, Go Girl!!!

Here's her journey to her new home

Before she read 50 Shades of Grey, Annie Arkwright from Accrington, was a staid old fashioned librarian who wore pleated skirts and long lace trimmed bloomers. Well the Old Annie has found a new home with Olwyn in Carlisle. Annie, bold as brass, said she were going ta cycle all th'way there. Look at her face - she doesn't like those bumpy cobbles! And aye up, beware, way up there in Carlisle, lock up ya men, she's got 50 Shades of Grey in her front basket. Ta ta our Annie, you will be very happy further up north, they're a reet grand family. Ta ra Lass. I'm getting all emotional ...... 

Now you are up to date on Annie and myself.

Thank you for popping over to my blog.

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Annie Arkwright from Accrington has been depressed since 2 hunky Swiss men turned down her proposal of marriage. So, off she went down south to stay with her cousin, Fag Ash Lil. She lives next door to a lovely couple who have a dog. Ann was upset when Annie told her the sad story, and Ann said that Annie could take their dog for a walk. Then, in posh south country style gear, Annie met William the Lurcher, and he took her for a walk. What a tonic. 

Thank you Ann Hyde for cheering our Lancashire Lass up. She is now in love with William, as we all are!!!! (p.s. Ann hope you don't mind me copying William just this once - well now it's twice because I featured him on Facebook too.

 

frown emoticon)  (William is a lovely true Lurcher who can be found on Facebook)

ANNIE ARKWRIGHT'S CHAPPED KNEES & KNOCKERS

Annie Arkwright from Accrington is coming home. She emailed me this photograph. She got a job in Switzerland, blowing the alpine horn to wake up the cows with bells on. It is now so cold she has chapped knees and knockers! She told me "Eeeh Polly, I'm reet down in't dumps. Hans Andneez the dishy farmer has turned down me proposal of marriage and ter cap it all so has Johann Slopes the handsome ski instructor. There's nowt left for me to stay 'ere for". Poor little Annie. 

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WILLIE ECKERSLYKE TRIES CRICKET

My friend Willie Eckerslyke always wanted to play cricket in a reet proper cricket team,wearing sexy white clothes and a fashionable hat.  So he could go out and be in, then go in when he was out, and play at silly mid off.  What a sensible game.

Yesterday he was asked by a team, who were desparate for another player, to be first bat.  Well Willie with his luscious long legs looked the part wearing his helmet, his pads and his box.  Well eeeh by gum, he tried his hardest.  By 'ecky thump he did.   But looking at the photograph of him and what happened in the background, do you think he will be asked to play again? Willie Eckerslyke!!!

Have a great week one and all, wherever you are. xx

WILLIE ECKERSLYKE AND ROGER FEDERER

Well Annie's friend Willie Eckerslyke was chosen, and what an honour, to carry Roger Federer's bag onto Centre Court at Wimbledon, for the men's final.  He isn't very strong, but he tried his very best. Oh dear the bag was heavy, and out dropped Roger's favourite red racquet.  Look at what happened. Do you think he will be asked again? Willie Eckerslyke! (sorry for those of you who don't speak Lancashire accent, but it is a play on words, perhaps you will get the joke).

All say Ahhhh, for poor Willie.

ANNIE ARKWRIGHT IN PARIS

Here is my last painting from our holiday in France.  You wouldn't believe who we bumped into, yes Annie Arkwright from Accrington.  In our favourite Parisian Restaurant, Chartier in Montmartre.  An 'historique' brasserie.  An old traditional building with high ceilings and lots of brass, good reasonably priced food.  The order is written on a paper table cloth!  I am sure the waiters have been there for years.

Anyway, Annie has been learning french. She ordered Le Heinz Soup de Tomate avec le legs de frog, main course Le Pie de Porc and Pomme Frites.  For dessert Le Spotted Dick (A British dish Annie, not French they won't have that here).  Er Pardon Madam?????  Er, her eyes lit up, something she understood, Peche Melba then. The waiter was in a turmoil.  Then finally, she said, avez-vous une cuppa?  Mon Dieu he shouted and shrugged his shoulders, as only the french can do, Zee crazee Eeenglish woman. She spoke in a broad lancashire accent which didn't help.  Eeeh by gum lass, tha needs ta take more lessons.

She is still there, one of the waiters fell for her!!  A reet grand rendez vous, for our lovely Annie.

ANNIE ARKWRIGHT EDITED OUT OF BIG PAINTING CHALLENGE FINAL !!!

Have you read the headlines ' Annie Arkwright edited out of BBC's Big Painting Challenge'

Annie Arkwright from Accrington, is devasted. She thought she had done her best work ever on this new BBC programme.

Subjects were
1. To paint something relating to Dartmouth Royal Naval College, so she painted a submarine.
2. To paint a still life that she saw at the Naval College
3. To paint something beautiful that was in the harbour at Dartmouth.

She know the judges like something different, so she racked her brains and painted in ernest.

She used special waterproof paint

This is Ivor Tickle the cameraman.  A handsome hunk if ever she saw one!

She thought she was the beautiful thing in the harbour, until the Judges upset her.

I think she should have won, don't you?

Have a great weekend.

ANNIE FAINTS!!!!!

Some of you may have noticed I haven't done much blogging lately.  Well I have a really good excuse.

Been ill since November.  Rushed to A&E and admitted 3 times. Liberal use of morphine Yahey! Loads of scans and yukky tests and then an op (nothing sinister).  So fingers crossed they have cured my problem.

Now then, while I was recovering, my friend Annie Arkwright from Accrington, visited me.  It wasn't the canula in my hand or the drips I was attached to that made her faint.  It was the sight of my handsome consultant.  Whoosh she went down as quick as a flash.  Got concussion and never saw him again. Good job he didn't try and help her, he would have been knocked out by the small from her old wellies. Poor Annie.

BAD NEWS, GOOD NEWS!!

Bad news I was rushed into hospital last weekend. Good news was that Annie Arkwright from Accrington, my friend, was in the bed opposite.  Her pal, Willie Eckerslyke had told her that there was a superfood, blueberries, so she ate them morning, noon and night.  Ended up with a very bad tummy.  Silly billy Annie, she never gets it right!  Heaven help her if she starts eating raspberries or kale!   Anyway I am home but she is still in, now a delicate wash of ultramarine blue.  Get well soon Annie .................

Fortunately I took in my sketchbook so that I could record this sad sight.

Have a great Sunday and next week, and take good care of yourselves.

ANNIE ARKWRIGHTS FAUX PAS

Eeeh well my friend, Annie Arkwright,from Accrington, came round for afternoon tea. She brought this photo of herself. She bought this huge pumpkin and cut it out, but, oh my lord, when she put it on the right way round the holes were in very dodgy places. Yes you can guess the eyes where her boobs were, and the nose her belly button. Can't tell you where the mouth came. So she turned it round. Not to be daunted. She said - ' Eeeh by gum our Polly, I always gets things wrong. I'll afta gerranother, and take more care with th'knife By 'eck I will'. So off she pops ta her local farm shop. 

Annie hasn't got a blog, or on facebook, so she had to email the photo that she took when she had been to the farm shop (Annie says she is a technofrobelick - hates gadgets)  All they had left were these small ones ...............

They look like a big pair to me Annie lass!!!

Sorry I haven't been looking at your blogs lately, l have been busy.  I will have a look at as many as I can but probably won't comment on many today.

Happy Halloween from Me and from Annie Arkwright too.

ANNIE'S GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS

Annie Arkwright from Accrington, Lancashire at the Commonwealth Games.

There is some good news and some bad news.

The Bad news first.  Annie turned up for the table tennis with her tennis racquet and table cloth, and was disqualified immediately. She was devastated. Her last chance of a medal (or so she thought).

The Good news now.  Annie got 2 gold medals but NOT for competing.  One was for being the most friendly competitor and one for trying the hardest.  She was in tears and received a standing ovation as the first medal was presented, by the President of the Commonwealth Games, Justine Time. Then the second put round her neck by the Chieftain of the McHaggis Clan.

Scottish BBC reporter Mick MacMuckle interviewed her and through her tears she smiled and said "Eeh lad I were only being me, a friendly Lancashire Lass, it's in our genes and I live by - Do as you would be done by.  On my 2nd medal, well I always tries to to me best, then I have no regrets".  And then she did the Usain Bolt stance for her official portrait!

Annie has been chosen to lead the singing of - I would walk 500 miles (not kilometres) a Pretenders song, and the final song - Old Lancs Sign.  Please sing along with her tonight if you are watching the Closing Ceremony.

Have a reet grand Sunday all of yee (Says my friend Annie).

ANNIE ARKWRIGHT/COMMONWEALTH GAMES

Annie Arkwright from Accrington, Lancashire is appearing in the Commonwealth Games in Bonnie Scotland.  She is representing England.

The first picture shows my friend Annie (the favourite), at the start of the Upside Down Doggy Paddle race.  The opposition, as you can see, have left her on the starting blocks.  And I wonder why?  Just look at those love lorn eyes.  Can you see the hunk in the background.  It's Bruce Brews from Australia, the winner of the Gold medal for the High Dive Board Belly Flop category.  Annie finished the 50m but it took her 39.58 mins as she was daydreaming all the way to the finishing line.  The crowd went wild as she finished, but Bruce was nowhere in sight.

Rumours have been abounding that Annie has been throwing up at the Games.  This is what happened.  She has been practicing Tossing the Caber for a long time (a Scottish sport) when it should have been Throwing the Javelin.  Anyway when she turned up with the caber (basically a tree trunk) they did let her throw up.  When throwing up she throwed up wrong and it bounced on the ground and throwed up behind her!!!!  So basically she threw up minus 4 feet.  It's sad to say another medal chance slipped away.  She was sooooo upset she actually threw up  ...............  poor Annie.

She designs and makes her own uniform and her sponsor is 'Polly's Lancashire Ice Cream'.

ANNIE ARKWRIGHT v. SERENA WILLIAMS

Annie Arkwright from Accrington, Lancashire v. Serena Williams from t'other side of  Th'Atlantic.

Annie's looking a bit pale.  Hasn't used her spray tan as the rules at Wimbledon are 'predominently white' hence her delicate skin colour!

Annie, looking resplendent in white, is sponsored, not by Nike and it's famous tick (pronounced Nighkey), but by Nookey and a reverse tick, with a gold A above.  She was wearing designer clothes by the famous fashion designer Pri Mark, and specially made shoes from S Melly.  The racquet by Dunflop.

Annie lost 6-0, 6-1.  The crowd went bonkers when she won a game, against all the odds.  First 15-0 was when she served an ace just as Serena Williams's nicker elastic snapped, 30-0 another ace as Serena was hitching up her dress, 40-0 when Serena's bra strap broke (who then threw a strop) and the winning shot,

was when Annie unleashed a storming forehand, just as Serena was picking her nose - that'll teach her!

When interviewed by a Lancashire Sports Reporter, called Sue Darker, she beamed "It were a reet grand game.  I could see the fear in 'er eyes!  I could'a won.  I blame it on me big brekkie.  Eggs, bacons, sausages and three rounds of bread fried in dripping.  I'll be fitter next year - I'll leave out a slice of bacon".

Annie Arkwright shot to fame for going from a  staid librarian to a red basque exotic dancer, after reading Fifty Shades of Grey.  You can read more about her if you click on the label Friends of Mine.  

EASTER CHALLENGE

Well I have been overwhelmed by the interneters who have given me subjects to paint over the Easter.  And here are the ones and whipped through yesterday.  The hardest ones, though, are ready and waiting for me.

Helen H Trachy - Woman cleaning windscreen with broom.  This is no ordinary woman it is Me Grand Friend Annie Arkwright.  No ordinary broom for her!

Carol Davidson - Horse.  Actually it is Polly Panicking Painting Peoples Pictures

Beverley Wells - A banana that doesn't look like an ordinary banana painting - took ages thinking about this one, and created a kind of stained glass window. Brusho.

Rita Vaselli - she had seen on facebook a picture of real sheep but they had been coloured and also online there is a page about William The Lurcher, so asked his owner if I could paint him and here is the combination.  William dreaming of sheep and sheep having nightmares about William

Carol Hodge - Cream cake (no calories in this one)

Gill Fox and Martine Weare - I combined one here.  A nighttime scene with the moon and a painting in one colour - here I used Indigo.

There are a mixture of sizes from postcard size to 15 x11" and the challengers are from Blogland and Facebook Land, so thank you all for taking me out of my comfort zone.  All except the bananas are in Watercolour, the Bananas are in Brusho!

I'll be back with some more of these challengers.

Happy Easter everyone

ANNIE ARKWRIGHT SKATING TEAM GB

My friend Annie Arkwright, was in the ladies skating final last night at Tholympics in Russia.  She looked as pretty as as picture in her Oxfam cut down dress, that she altered herself, and her designer Welly Ice Boots.  The whole outfit being finished off with a soft fur trim (not real fur of course).  Annie danced to the music 'She's a Lassie from Lancashire'. She managed a few nearly steady steps, then the crowd went wild as she did a triple salko, purely by accident, while spinning out of control, which was followed by an elegant nose dive and two balletic belly flops.  In fact, she had that many deductions, that she got an all time low score which was -60 points.  She should make the Guiness Book of Records.

Eee Annie lass tha tried tha hardest, but it weren't enough on the day.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone.  And think of Annie and her devastation at letting GB down.

ANNIE ARKWRIGHT TEAM GB

Did ya watch Tholympics today on tv.  The Ladies Downhill Skiing.  Well my mate Annie Arkwright were racing. The Gold Medal was a draw between a Swiss girl and a Slovenian.  In the time of 1 min 14 seconds. Yes, a dead heat.  Well Annie Arkwright did really well as a Team GB star.  After a few triple salkows (don't know how yer spell it) and a triple toe loop and a few swishes, she finish a close last in the time of l hour 14 minutes.  So it were nearly the same time!  When interviewed by Clare Balding, she said that her ski poles were the secret, she swept the snow away as she were shussing,  and it t'wer reet scary.  Annie will be on your screens again in the ladies skating.

This picture will be on your newspaper front page tomorrow.  It was taken by Polly Birchall, Official Olympic Games Photographer.

WIMBLEDON WANDERINGS

WELL DONE ANDY MURRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (on the 7th day of the 7th month, and 77 years since a Brit last won the mens final - spooky or what).


I am a hermit during the tennis tournament at Wimbledon. Rarely leaving my abode, glued to the tv watching my heroes. One of them being Kenny Eckerslyke.  Now some of you will have met him on my other blog http://pollyluvspaintingetc.blogspot.com  along with my other northern England friends and their activities (if you would like to meet them and Kenny go to my blog and click on the label 'friends of mine' or click on my link at the top of the right hand column of this blog)

Now Kenny is an avid tennis player who reckoned he could whup Andy Murray at Wimbledon this year.  How, did he get on, well he lost on Monday. He reckons the linesmen, umpire and crowd were against him 'cos I'm a reet ordinary lad from up north and I'm not posh, eeh by gum.  I'll be back again next year and by ecky thump I'll be the first northern champ!"

Well I were in the crowd. Poor Kenny lost his rag at the end and threw his ball into the crowd, with such venom.

Followed by his shoes, one of which I caught!  I immediately threw it back because the smell was knocking me out.

Poor Kenny, he thought he could win, but can 'ee eckerslyke!!!!

He drowned his sorrows by drinking a pint of bitter and eating some lancashire hot pot and an eccles cake.

Let's hope he qualifies again next year.  Good luck Kenny