depression~

another test....sociology??
why do i need to study this?
i'm just too depressed nowadays..
i'm just sad,only sad is all in my mind...
what is happening to the world around me?
why must all this happen to me?
everythin around me is just not right, i was just practically depressed...
another test is coming soon...but i just cant get myself into the mode of studying...

Reasons to be sad:-
1)My sociology test was terrible done...i'm just too afraid that i might flung this paper...then tat goes peinee in imu....nobody will be able to see me anymore....
The moment my lecturer read out the answers, i was like so dumbfounded...everything just doesnt seem to be right and doesnt come my way....i just dont know what to say, who to talk to or even what to do....

2)My relationship wif my friends are getting worst...i just dont know what to say o how to react to the way they bring theirselves...i felt so lonely and sad here...what am i supposed to do to just stay d same old me?i felt so bad being myself...i felt that people here are just too realistic....i cant put myself in this type of situation...the way they talk o bring themselves,i just cant accept it...i felt so uncomfortable wif myself...

3)Nowadays the stupid nasioncom doesnt seem to be working....cant online at home,making me even more depressed...i just lost myself these few days...i just dont know what should i do to make my life and myself to feel better....

I just felt lonesome at times like now...only here and my family are there for me to talk and share things...

i just dont know how to put n words my feelings anymore....

so,til then...pnee....813pm~

secret not to be told~

another movie...
secret...
by jay chou...
a very nice and romantic movie....

i should rate this 4stars...
jay chou played piano like....gosh....impredictable....hehehe...
watch watch watch!!!.....

next movie....ratatouille....
but test is monday and wednesday...hehehe....
so haf to study hard now~...
chaoz...

Tagged~

i was being tagged....by karen....
then when i was visiting jul's blog, then i found i being tagged by jul too...

-----------------------------------------
1) Each player must post these rules first. 2) Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves. 3) People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. 4) At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. 5) Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
-----------------------------------------------

8 Facts About Nee!...

1) Addicted to internet!
I just can't live without internet more than hmm....maybe not that chronic yet...js few days stil can tahan lar....guess wat, i lost myself when i cant connect through internet,can't study at all...can u believe this,i was dreaming for hours with my notes in front of me!....

2) I will cry if i raised my voices or scold people face to face
I just don't know why i will cry when i scold people but it's my nature~ so i just cant scold people or raised my voices...so anything tat i dun like, i will just keep it to myself...(kinda hard at times)

3) I had slacked too much since form 6
I had slacked too much in everything....eg studies, friendship, relationship...everything...mostly everything...but now catching up with family n friends....doing good i hope:P(must go steps by steps,k)

4) I love McD!
I just love it nowadays...evn our lecturers keep stressing tat tis is bad for health...but stil i luv it:)...i'm lovin it!

5) I love wearing contact lenses...(being lame~)
Wore it since form 4?well,cant really live without them too but i can't depend on them for the rest of my life...so another option wil be lasering my eyes!!....hehehe...in few years time and hopefully i don't go blind by then...

6) I'm IMU scholar!
Can't believe this right?just believe it....hahaha....i'm just too lucky for this!

7) I'm gaining more weight especially in clinical posting:(
I just don't know why i will gain weight during clinical posting even tho haf to work like cow!
maybe is stressless there....and hot in the hospital,mayb myself got expanded in the hot places but shrink in cold places:P(okie i know i'm giving myself lame excuses, so must diet:P)

8) I have gastrointestinal (GI) problem
Believe it or not, i'm facing constipation, diarrhoea n gastric in a week!!..which i don't know why:(

now....it's my turn to tag people.....(i cant tag those who tagged me rite?..)
1) joanne
2)eeleen
3)peiyee
4)daphne
5)benghuat
6)xiashien-u're being tagged again!
7)chifei
8)weimeng

luvs..pnee:)

weekends holiday~destressing!

weekends holiday....

at last, someone reached out for me!!...to go for a short break....

and the person was my godsis...

she called me on thursday, made an appointment wif me*winks*.... she told me that we're going for a short holiday to bentong's waterfall*at last i got the name right!*

i waited for her to come on saturday...she came arnd 7pm!....meantime, i went to library to study*i'm good girl that's why won't simply waste time*

she came wif her husband and 2 of their clinic nurses.... then we went to puchong for our dinner!....guess what we ate....

we went to one shop in bandar puteri, restaurant tak fok(a hong kong seafood restaurant)...we ate crabs and lots of deli food there...super nice...(sorry can't manage to take any pictures because we're too hungry, so when the food arrive....we just mumm mummm...) their specialties are their crabs!!...we ate marmite crabs, salted eggs crabs, and one more duno called what d...they even have cheese crabs!! i shall rate this shop...4stars!...nice!

then we went home...watch "Just Follow Law"....i know is kinda outdated that i just watched it yst!....but it's really a stupid show...don't like the ending as i can already predict what's gonna happened....so i rate it...3stars?...


well,the main destressing day...

we went to bentong,pahang....somewhere near fraser's hills....

we left house at 8am and we reached there around 9am....it's quite near from damansara what!!...

we went to chamang waterfall for our picnic...hehe....we ate things that had been prepared by kakak...thn we went in the water for a while...the water was on a very fast flow and the water was very deep....but the water was icy cooling!!....
play play with kids and talking....

bentong waterfall....

our picnic sites...with some reading newspaper:)

they're trying to catch tadpoles;P

then we left there around 1pm...we moved on to the hot spring!!...on the way, we stop by few stalls to find for durians!....we stop at one stall,and ate durians by the roadside!!!....something new...and the durians are super duper delicious....my god bro said it's called mausang,D2, and one more type....forgot the name d...but the most deli one was mausang!!!the skin of the durian was yellowish and thick!....better than D24~~....but again,food...no picture!....can't show you all..hehe..

we reached the hot spring bentong....hmm.....the water in the pool is kinda dirty with brown and also green algae....and some people can go in somemore...
very very dirty.....but i felt the water,it's quite hot!!....but we din wana go down as the pool was not properly maintained and dangerous looking....

hot spring pool....

so after that,we went home....

that goes my weekend holidays!....btw,i'm having pathophysiology test on tuesday and also CVS&Respiratory test on thursday.....

come back all the stress.....haiz....this is life.....but i'm happy!!......i will continue in my next blog...tat's all for now!~...

metallising my heart....

wat are feelings meant to be??
crush and true love how do u exactly differentiate it?
i dun like crush...wana crucify myself for being in such a situation....
someone help me out here...
preventing me from drowning...
evn though i saw the light,i still felt that i'm drowning...
i need hands...
to bring me out frm tis pool...
if there's no hand....
how could i get myself out here....
how could i get myself from drowning...
i just don't want to be drown!....

i wish i could cry out loud..................................

wana metalise my heart so that it wun be so vulnerable anymore....
wun be hurt so easily...
nothing can penetrate in so easily...
then i won't be so emotional ard...
successful or not is stil in experimental period*cries*............

life goes on......

single's nite...luv it=)

another one for rush hour!!...



went to watch it with geo, sookyee and yeongming..tonight was our single's nite!!we went to the new cinema in mlk,mbo...tat cinema is nice but unfortunately, we got a lil short break in between tat movie....hehe...technical problem happened!!...anyway, it was funny movie with chris tucker in it!!...he's the best joker man...i bet u will laugh from the beginning til the end of the movie...really funny...no regrets watching it!...

after movie we went havana for a drink...and chat til the shop oso wana close d....shy...kekeke...after that,we went home and here i am blogging again....but, i'm very happy today!...met geo after so long...we promise to go out so many times,finally....hehehe....

okies,need to zzz d....

Foot massage!!:)

today after class...i went for foot reflexology for my very first time....i went because janet wanted to go for body massage....so i just went and try...

a chart showing the location of the points at our foot!

firstly d lady brought me into a room, where she threw a sachet of tea like thingy into the small lil bathe tub...then she fill it wif water and left me there....i was wondering wat m i supposed to do...so common sense told me tat i should soak my leg into it...but,when i dip my legs in...i realised tat it wasn't enough...i took my leg off again...so shy rite?? then later a guy came in ask see the water and also the temperature...after tat,he asked me to soak my leg into it....so i do as he said...

my legs wif the sachet of tea like thing(duno wat's tat)....the water is hot!!!

then,he brought me a lil towel and i wipe my leg myself...hehe....after tat i just went out and sat on the special seat they had provided....and i waited for the massager to come...

finally he came...yes is a he!!

he began by bringing me a cup of tea which i din even haf a sip at all...then he drag the chair and placed the towel from my lap down to tip of my toes...he opened one side of my leg(providing privacy i supposed)....he asked do i everytime come for massaging?....i said tis is my FIRST TIME!!okie,he just smiled...he prepare things like folding my long long pants upper even tho i already did! he then placed the small towel at my pants as well..then the massage started!!...he started by applying some cream, as lubricant i tink...it was so painful and ticklish at the beginning...i wanted to laugh but so shy....(so embarassed)....then when he's massaging my big toe it was so so painful!!!....he said is my head problem...then goes to the second and third also the same....it was also painful,he said is because my eyes problem...maybe i dont have enough sleep....

my first leg....with the massager!..kekeke...

when he finish wif my left leg, he goes to my right leg...same procedure was done...and same sites of pain were felt!!

my right leg....

after all, it reli worth the trip visiting them!!
i found a new way of destressing!!....it was very very relaxing to me and at least ease all my worries n sadness at the moment...luv it!!...

after test....

finally....test is over...though i know tis is d only the beginning of the disaster...
during my test, can u imagine wat was i thinking...i'm thinking of secret recipe's tom yam n it's spaghetti....i'm not thinking of anything related to my test!..gosh...and unfortunately, God knows what am i thinking....therefore He made me did stupid mistakes....*peinee, u deserve it...thinkin of food while having exam??*

after classes...we went to secret recipe...hehehe...i haf tom yam...
yums yums....but stil prefer their tom yam spaghetti....*hungry nows* and wanted to buy simpsons dvd since no one wanted to go wif me*sad* but no one selling in sri petaling....din see anyone selling....sad sad....

well,came back home...so tired....clean my room a lil bit....thn sat in front of my laptop again for hours...non-stop typing...duno why...haiz....msn's fault lar...okie i better say is my fault or else bad things gonna happen to me again...

oh ya...on d way back,we saw a msian actor in between vista b n c which is near imu!!...he looks damn cool...he's d one acted in d show the beginning,as the guy who likes ting li...he look so so damn chun....i wish i wud haf a bf like him!!!....so start hunting....175cm,75kg,6 packs good looking guy....kekeke....

okler..i wasted too much time on internet....and worst thing i guess someone must be hacking into my computer....my songs were lost!!!how could tis possible right...happened for the second time d....yer....or maybe my laptop is haunted?*eerie*
it's reli getting late...off to go....
another beautiful song....(xiashien tis is oso beautiful song!)

unfortunately cant get it's real mtv....tis i tink a bit fake..but love the song!

day before test!

few hours wasted in front of my laptop again....
i'm reli super addicted to msn,friendster,and blogging nowadays...wonder if one day without internet svc,i will miss those times...
addiction makes me cant concentrate fully on my studies...giving myself lame excuses...
i'm currently oso a music addiction...more precisely i;m always a music addicter..*winks* stil very happy even tho test is on monday which is about few hours away...

this song specially dedicated to .....(someone who i reli misses a lots deep down)

"when we were together, we never appreciate each other....but when we were separated, we realised importance of each other in life...wanted u back by my side sometimes, but people around telling me not to...i saw u doin things tat hurt me yet i still ignore all them...tis is what i call love is blind....trust n love is so different thing to me now...."

till the next post....

shopping in supermarket...

another day passed....and i'm still the same old me...sitting here after studying to do some blogging...
guess what i haf a terrible ulcer in my mouth..so painful...but still can eat so much things...
today actually planned to watch simpsons....but the plan didnt work out in d end...so ending up in pathetic carrefour again...there goes my simpsons...i wana watch it so much, so badly...wanted to get dvd but cant find in tat pathetic carrefour-endah parade....like eugene said it's liek our malacca tong hup...but my fren said it was better than tong hup...
but i'm happy at least for a lil bcause i bought Tinge!! a spritzer lemon flavoured drink..and on the bottle,have my dear's picture...daniel's pic...

my dear advertising for spritzer:)

for one thing he really brighten up my day....when i was so down and have loads of work to do,i was so relived when i saw it!!hehehe....i know this might sounds crazy n nuisance...hehe but i still like him so much...

helping dear to promote...

then i saw a very high tech thing also....a electrical vibrator by durex with battery!!....cool ler..
unfortunately,i forgot to see the price....hehehe....sorry about the insufficient info....kekeke...but i took a picture of it:) can get it from supermarket near the cashiers like carrefour in endah parade,bukit jalil...hehehe.....(thy din pay me for tis adv,i mus claim from durex company soon:P)

my class test is next week and i stil cant pay 100% attention and put 100% effort in my studies...i beginning to realise tat my memory cells in my brain beginning to decrease....i cant remember things clearly and exactly...i'm getting old and i have to admit it now...*sob sob*...

tmr must really study as hard as possible....or else i will have to bid farewell to all...

p/s: i hate copy cats...i mean those who imitates me, my style...it makes me indifference....*frust*...

well to be continue....(now too tired already,old d k...bear wif me ya)...chaos!

bad & sad day...

mood for today: BAD & SAD....

exam coming soon but i cant concentrate...when i saw my so thick-medical surgical book,i already feel like fainting...

my thick thick book.....

my thick thick book(in nearer view)

early morning woke up around 9 something...but went back to sleep again cause i knew tat today is the only day i can sleep so long...hehehe...cause class starts at 1pm...tho i know i haf to get up and dragged myself to the library to study...

and for the first time, i msg a fren "wtf"...i'm reli sorry but i just too frustrated....

i don't know why it seems like some of them dun like me, and against me.... whateva i said,is like crap to them....but one thing, when i said about guys....they wil treat me nice! sorry...please let me say again..."wtf"....

i was so so frust n dont know who to tell...then i told vf cause he's the only one know what's happening at least partly....

but yet,i don't like the feeling of being like this....i felt tears flowing at tat moment, i quickly ran to the toilet...i hide in there for at least 5mins?....i cried but i realised people wil heard me...so i went out as i have class too....

in class,i was so so freaking out wif those ppl....i just duno how to communicate o live together wif those people...

some were really at the tip of my bursting out sensation....sometimes i felt i want to scold o just shout out...but i knew i'm too weak inside...i may break down n cry....

keepin to myself is making me more sad....so i word it here....only for those who i trust...

just a moment ago, went to celebrate a coursemate's bday...whenever i celebrate people's birthday especially them,i had a vr stucked up feeling....i just dont know why....people here are too realistic for me....i just cant stand the attitudes of theirs....dont get on my nerves anymore!!!

i dont know where is the real me....wif them i can try to be happy...but behind them i felt tat they are just not the type of good buddies i haf in mlk....i reli miss all of u all....

well,signing off now...tmr class 9am....nites.