ARCHIVE: Now Playing: Your Ex-lover is Dead

Dec 22, 2009 11:39 PM

Now Playing: Your Ex-lover is Dead

by Pinaywriter

See video here 

God that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said 'yes I think we've met before'
In that instant it started to pour,
Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain
And all of the time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name...
This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
Tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in
Now you're outside me
You see all the beauty
Repent all your sin
It's nothing but time and a face that you lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard
I'll send you the news
From a house down the road from real love...
Live through this, and you won't look back...
Live through this, and you won't look back...
Live through this, and you won't look back...
There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save

ARCHIVE : Opposites - Grammar Fail and Roadblocks

Dec 21, 2009 9:36 PM

Opposites - Grammar Fail and Roadblocks

by Pinaywriter

There are times when you just hit the wall when a student asks you about opposites.

I will document them here.

Sam: How's the weather in Korea?
Student: It's snow very muchee.
Sam: Do you mean it's snowing hard in Korea.
Student: (ecstatic) Yes, yes. Snowing very hardly.
Sam: Repeat after me, It's snowing hard in Korea.
Student: It's snow hard Korea. Teacher!
Sam: Do you have a question?
Student: Yes, teacher, question. What is other of snow hard?
Sam: Do you mean the opposite of snowing hard?
Student: Yes, teacher. What is opposite snow hard?
Sam: Well...(blizzard passes through) It's not...snowing in Korea? I really don't know. It doesn't snow in the Philippines.

After class...
Sam: (googles) Puta, lightly. Snowing lightly, tanga.

ARCHIVE: Applicant Bloopers

Dec 21, 2009 8:36 PM

Applicant Bloopers

by Pinaywriter

I am putting together something that would help me and my friends fight off the humdrum of work. I was wondering if you can help me, do you have any applicantion boo-boo or funny anecdotes of other people answering HR questions in a weird way? Preferably something that includes grammar errors.

Thanks.

Please place your story or simple entry here as comments.

Your help is sooo effin appreciated.

It would be more awesome if you can send it to me via email. Send it to uplbchic@yahoo.com

Email title: Applications: Grammar Fail

Entries can be like this:

HR: I see here that you live in Bulacan, would that be a problem with a shifting schedule?

A: I live in the Pasig area also. I go to...uh...back and the forth to Bulacan when I can. I live there permanently but I live in Pasig with my girlfriend...not permanently.

(I know lame example but I can't remember the exact thing I overheard when I was eavesdropping while someone else was interviewing me. ^^ So please share.)

If you have any other call center, operations, work grammar FAIL moments, please feel free to comment or send me the funny anecdote.

Thanks in advance. ^^

ARCHIVE : Sleepy student - YOBO

Dec 21, 2009 5:36 PM
Sleepy student - YOBO
by Pinaywriter
Sam: Good morning, Daphodil!
Daphodil: (sleepy) Guh mornin, teecha...(yawn)
Sam: How are you today, Daphodil?
Daphodil: (yawns) Aymfaynetenkyuhawboutchu?
Sam: I'm great actually. Are you sleepy, Daphodil?
Daphodil: (yawns) No, teacher. (nods off)
Sam: Okay, let's start our lesson. Let's try to learn some new words okay? (mutes and freezes the screen) *yawns*
Daphodil: Yes.
Sam: (encircles a picture of a paintbrush) What is this, sweetie?
Daphodil: (nods off) Disisahpensul.
Sam: No, Daphodil, it's a pencil.
Daphodil: (repeats like a zombie) It's a pencil.
Sam: (yawns) Are you sleepy Daphodil?
Daphodil: No.
Sam: Okay? Is this a pencil? (encircles a book)
Daphodil: Yezitiz.
Sam: No, it's a book.
Daphodil: (zombie tone) Itszabuk.
Sam: What is this? (nods off)
Daphodil: (nods off)
After 15 minutes...
Sam: (wakes up) (mutes) Shemas. (unmute) Daphodil, what was your answer to my last question?
Daphodil: (realizes her class time is almost over) Teacha, time. Aygoskul.
Sam: Okay, Daphodil, see you tomorrow!
*end*

ARCHIVE : FOR Reina's eyes

Dec 21, 2009 1:35 PM

FOR Reina's eyes

by Pinaywriter

She can't read it because for some reason the url is blocked in her part of the world. probably the word sex did it. +_+;


UPLB professor sacked over sex harassment case



Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 19:03:00 12/19/2009

Filed Under: Education, Schools, Youth


SAN PEDRO, LAGUNA, Philippines—A professor at the University of the Philippines in Los Baños, Laguna, was dismissed from his post, following complaints from a male student that he was sexually harassed, an official of the university said.

UPLB Chancellor Luis Velasco, in a phone interview Saturday, confirmed that Pol Mojica, a professor from the College of Arts and Sciences, was dismissed after the university legal department found him guilty of the sexual harassment charges.

He said a sophomore Development Communication student filed the complaint early this year. Velasco, however, did not elaborate on the case.

The Philippine Daily Inquirer tried to reach Mojica through his mobile phone but he did not answer the call.

Velasco said the professor may appeal the decision. Maricar Cinco, Inquirer Southern Luzon

ARCHIVE: Batanguenya si Pinaywriter - All I want for Christmas is Books

Dec 19, 2009 11:30 PM

Batanguenya si Pinaywriter - All I want for Christmas is Books

by Pinaywriter

As much as I am happy that I won't be home at the eve of Christmas because I would have to be in the same breathing space with the scum of a man husband of my cousin, it still sucks to be on the road while everyone is at home eating noche buena.

I would literally be on the street on the eve of Christmas. *inserts all known cursing here* I just hope I can get some plans together with some friends to make that morning more bearable. Calling all call center friends, tell me where you are and I will follow. ^^

I went home today after abandoning plans to go to Megamall to buy gifts for my godkids. I remembered that it would be with jam-packed with provincials and sales fanatics. So I just opted to stay at the apartment until I couldn't possible stay any longer without risking being on the streets with my paycheck in my make-up kit.

I found out that my sister and mom got me books for Christmas. ^^ yey! *photos to follow* It was three Nora Roberts paperbacks, one Danielle Steel paperback, and a hardbound INK DEATH. I was surprised that my mom got it for just P20! Jesus.

Me: Inay, kapag Scholastica ang publisher kunin mo kasi mahal un sa totoong buhay! (Mom, if the publisher is Scholastica, you should take it because it's really expensive!)

Nora Roberts *Ftw*
Nora Roberts. *that's much better*






I didn't hope for gifts this year, I just want it to be over. But I guess there are some good things about it.

I am just happy my family is intact and my parents are proud of me despite me being flabbier and crazier. I had my fun, I can do with less dangerous adventures but still just as fun.

2010, I wonder...what gifts do you have for me?
*photo my dad, mom, little sister (lee) and cousin (cid) [on the floor]* 121909

ARCHIVE: LyfisSTRANGERdanFiction - RIP

Dec 18, 2009 6:04 PM

LyfisSTRANGERdanFiction - RIP

by Pinaywriter

This is where I am going to put my old entries from my old lifeisstrangerthanfiction site.

This was a picture that I took in a computer shop near the UPLB campus. It's near Ilag's. It was during that time one of the cooler ones since the computers were new and all in good condition. I think the lady in the counter was a flabby and I was making fun of her.

Or I was looking at something pornographic online. Which wouldn't be far from what I actually do. I remember that this was during the MRC era. Facebook was nowhere near my dreams and Friendster was something that was still cool amongst my peers.




-> I think I was looking at this. There was a collection of images that featured body paints of zodiac signs. ^^
I am a Gemini, so I posted it. Duh. I have the copy somewhere in my old yahoo photos, which we know had to be migrated and most of my old pictures got deleted into whereever net abyss lost data go to die.
-> I am trying to remember if this was during the Sadako fad but it probably was. I used this picture as a profile picture for a while. Scared the right kinds of people I guess. ^^









-> I am thinking this was just another offset in that group of scary eyes group.












-> This one is a group shot with my friends from college. The one not in the picture is Helene.



From the left : Arianne, Kaye, Moi, Reina



Luvshak Goddesses 2005





-> My life in college would have never been the same if not for ICEBAG. This collage of pictures is from the ICEBAG 4 GABI NG LAGIM production. I was part of the Props committee.
I was a part of Icebag 2, 3 (I am not sure if I was but...), 4 and 5 (the chinese one) *need to recheck this info my memory is sooo bad. I was usually in production, music team or props. I have stage fright so I don't go onstage to act. Plus I would suck.
But I haven't been able to watch all the ICEBAGS after that. I was saddened by the fact that the concept got censored.



This was taken from the old Luvshak apartment. Sepia addiction mode.











I think this was an Antigone picture. Propsmaster. Big Greek head and lots of pigeon shit and rugby.

ARCHIVE: Headline reader

Dec 18, 2009 2:02 AM

Headline Reader

by Pinaywriter

(the picture showed the headline with a promo wrap about CATs the musical)

I haven't bought a newspaper in a long time.

Come to think of it, I never really had to. My mom works in a newspaper and magazine store so I have been able to read anything from Funny comics to Inquirer to Cosmo and FHM without having to pay for it. She would even bring home back issues of Newsweek, Time and Agriculture. So reading them had been my way of getting information that my other peers tried to get from television.

But for the longest time I have stopped buying let alone reading newspaper. Or even watching any. I became a headline browser. That is how disillusioned I had become.

But that morning INQUIRER's headline read "Palace lifts Martial Law" I dished out a twenty peso bills. (Last time I remembered it cost P15 but that was a long while ago.)

I took it home and took a picture of it. I posted it on Facebook and I was surprised that people focused on the CATS ad than the headline. I was happy about the musical, sure. But I was appauled that people tend to move past this great piece of news for something that is not really socially relevant. I know that I am like this at times. But it sucked. No offense to my friends who made the comment. IN our defense, we love musicals.

I have been reading things online and it makes me feel worse that the headlines spell nothing but catastrophe and murderers.

So really, Merry Christmas?

ARCHIVE : Murder

Dec 17, 2009 5:01 PM

I would be a murder victim

by Pinaywriter

How will I die? Your Result: You will be murdered.   This doesn't guarantee pain and suffering, but it will be at the hands of another. Perhaps the vile deeds of a past life will attribute to this horrific demise. Do not fear murder. There is a rare epiphany that comes from this type of death. You will see it in the last moments.
You will die in a car accident.
You will die in a nuclear holocaust.
You will die while having sex.
You will die from a terminal illness.
You will die while saving someone's life.
You will die of boredom.
You will die in your sleep.
How will I die? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I am just happy that I won't die of boredom. Seriously, if this was true, I am sure they had a really good reason. I am a mean and bitchy person. ^^ So there you go.

ARCHIVE : N and G (nobelang hindi tapos)

Dec 17, 2009 2:14 PM

N and G

by Pinaywriter

Disclaimer: Ang mga pangalang ginamit ay mga tunay na pangalan ng tao. Syempre pa hindi ko naman pwedeng gamitin ang pangalan ng mga animals para sa kwentong ito, haller naman. Pero dahil natutuwa ako sa mga magsing-irog na tila ba ay hobby na ang ipangalandakan sa universe na sila ay kenkoy in love, naisip ko lang na gamitin silang inspirasyon para sa kwentong ito. Wala ni isang piraso o eksena sa buong kwentong ito ang haliw sa kanilang tunay na love story. Pero para na lang sa kanila yun, alam nyo yung privacy? Basta, natutuwa ako kasi konti lang ang mga mag-asawang tulad nila na sa sobrang ka-sweetan nasusura na ako minsan. Parang nanay at tatay ko lang na nagpapa-cute sa isa't-isa. 


Sila ang tularan nyo, mga taong me balak mag-asawa o me mga asawa na. Kasi kung matino ang lalaki, at sexy mula ulo hanggang braincells ang babae, magkakaron din kayo ng ninipie at Juggernaut. ^^ 


Hindi ko sinasabi na matatapos ko ang kwentong ito. Pero why not di ba?
Ang lahat ng nasisimulan yakang-yaka lang tapusin. Fighting!


++++




"Naomi,makinig ka muna bago mo ako pagbawalan na mahalin ka."


Lumingon ako nang sabihin ni Gani ang mga salitang un. Naririnig ko ang kantyawan ng mga kabarkada nya mula sa loob ng canteen na madalas tambayan ng mga studyante mula sa UP.


"Pwede ba, bumalik ka na lang dun sa mga kabarkada mo. Panira kayo ng araw." kahit nakatakong at masakit na ang paa ko ay hindi ko pa rin mapigilan ang subukang tumakbo. Sino ba namang hindi matatakot kung kahit saan ka pumunta ay sinusundan ka ng isang grupo ng madudungis na lalaki na puro tattoo ang katawan. Aba, para lang akong hinahabol ng mga rapist nun. At ang kurimaw na ito ang pinuno ng banda ng mga mantsa.


"Makinig ka muna kasi." nagmamakaawa na nitong turan.


"Ayoko, binge ako today. Jan ka n---ay!" hawak ko ang hita ko gawa ng sakit na nagmula sa aking "ankle" na tumataas papuntang tuhod.


"Okay ka lang ba? Alam kong hindi ka okay? Teka lang. Wait." natataranta man ay binuhat pa rin ako ni Gani. Napatili pa ako sa bilis ng pagkakabuhat nito. Napayakap ako dahil pakiramdam ko ay mahuhulog ako dahil sa payatot ang nagbubuhat sa akin. Pero nang tumakbo na ito papuntang infirmary kahit isang beses ay hindi ito nagreklamo sa bigat ko.


Humihingal man ay nakangiti naman si Gani habang binebendahan ang aking paa. "Anong nginingiti-ngiti mo jan?" angil ko dito.


"Wala." nasisinok ito dahil sa pinipigil na tawa. Parang kinikiliti lang ang loko. Sapakin ko kaya ito ng isa?


"Wala mo mukha mo, nakakatuwa bang nadapa ako dahil sa kakasunod mo sa akin? Ha? Ha?" nakakabwisit talaga. "Pano ako magsasayaw sa Social dances ko kung me pilay ako, aber? Naku, pag nawalan ako ng scholarship dahil sa PE na un tatamaan ka sa akin ng bonggang bonga. Pipilayan ko pati yang mga tattoo mo."


Lalo lang itong natawa. Pinanliitan ko ito ng mga mata. Bigla naman itong tumahimik. "Sorry na. Ang cute mo kasi pag nagagalit." Pinalabas ko ang galit ko sa ilong ko. Pakiramdam ko usok na ang lumalabas dun sa sobrang init ng ulo ko. December pa naman ngayon. Dapat malamig ang panahon pero parang nag-summer vacation ang yultide spirit ko sa sobrang bwisit ko sa nilalang na ito.


"Ikaw, cute ka kayang isilid sa kabaong?" Nakangisi kong tanong.


"Wag na muna, ngayon pang nahulog ka na para sa akin. Kailangan ko pang mabuhay ng matagal. sasagutin mo pa ako eh." hirit pa nito. Kailangan ko yatang kumapit. Bumabagyo sa loob ng infirmary.


"Sasagutin pala ha? Pwes!" tumayo na ako dahil tapos na ang pagbebenda ng paa ko."Ang sagot ko ay hindi! Hindi! No, niet, aniyong, ie, never, ayoko ayoko ayoko sabi sa'yo!" nang makita ko na three inches na heels nga pala ang sandals ko ay parang nawala ang galit ko at na-stress bigla ang bangs ko.


"Shemas. Pano ako uuwi sa dorm nito?" bulong ko sa sarili ko.


Humahangos na dumating si Jeff, ang kabarkadang kadikit bituka ng butiking umiirog sa akin. May hawak itong isang pares ng tsinelas. Sa paningin ko ay naging Buddha ang hari ng kantsaw. Inabot ni Jeff ke Gani ang mga tsinelas.


"Teka, teka." pipigilan ko sana si Gani pero naisuot na nito ang isang tsinelas sa paa kong walang benda. Inabot din nito ang saklay na pinahiram ng infirmary. Parang Cinderella lang ang beauty ko. Pilay na cinderella nga lang.


Nginitian ako ni Gani sabay sabi, "Ngayon hindi mo na ako matatakbuhan." Kinilabutan ako sa sinabi nito. Pero bakit parang masarap na kilabot ata ito? Oh nose! Ayokong maging reyna ng mga mantsa!


CHAPTER ONE


"Eh, ano ba talagang nangyari sa'yo?" tanong ni Weng. "Baka naman tinulak ka nung hari ng mantsa na un at natatakot ka lang na magsabi. Ipapa-tribunal natin un tas ang parusa sa kanya ay tatalupin ang balat nyang me tattoo. Tingnan ko lang kung hindi sya magmukhang skinless longganisa."


"Tumigil ka nga jan. Ginagatungan mo pa yan. Baka nga gawin nya un." saway ng kikay na si Melai.


"Ah basta, susumpitin ko ung pag nagkita kami." angil ni Weng.


"Warfreak ka talaga ninang." nagkasanayan na kaming ninang ang itawag sa isa't-isa. Balak namin ay balang-araw ay maging tunay na magkukumare.


"Hindi nya ako tinulak. Nadapa talaga ako habang nilalayuan ko sya. Binuhat ba naman ako hanggang infirmary!" natatawa ako sa malamang ay naging hitsura naming dalawa nung mga panahong yun.


"Binuhat ka ni Gani? Wait lang ha. Ang layo kaya ng infirmary! Wala ba syang konsepto ng jeepney?"naiiling na tanong ni Weng.


"Ganun talaga ang mga in-love, tuliro lagi." gatong ni Melai.


"Ay naku, kung ganun din lang ay wag na lang ma-in-love. Nakakapilay." tinaasan ako ng kilay ni Weng na para bang tinatanong kung tama ang kutob nito.


"Hindi ko rin alam eh." tinuloy ko ang kwento hanggang sa suotan ako ni Gani ng tsinelas at ihatid ako nito hanggang dorm. "Kulang na lang bigyan nya ako ng piggy back ride. Ano kami koreanovela?"


"Gusto lang nun manantsing." tumatango na rin si Melai. "See, two versus one. Wag ka na dun sa isang un. Masasalanta hindi lang bangs mo, baka mapintahan pa yang kamorenahan mo. Naku lang." Alam kasi nito na gusto ko ring magpatattoo pero isa lang.


"Ano bang pwedeng gawin para layuan na ako ng isang un?" feeling ko labas na sa ilong ang sinasabi ko pero baka paulanan ako ng katabilan ng dalawang ito o di kaya ay ng kape kaya hindi pwede. Umuusok pa ang mga baong order naming kape. Mamaya na lang.


"Madali lang yan, magka-boyfriend ka." nakangiti pa si Melai nung i-suggest nya iyon.


"Ninang, ayoko ngang magkaron ng distraction tas sasabihin mo pang mag-boyfriend ako." ginulo ko ang bangs ko sa inis.


"Haller, hindi totoong boyfriend. Japeyk." nakangisi na ito ngayon.


"Sang kamay naman ng demonyo ako hahanap ng boypren-boyprenan aber?" pagkasabi ko noon ay may isang tili kaming narinig.


"Niiiiinaaaaaang!" sumisigaw na nilapitan kami ni Noki, ang aming dakilang kapatid sa pananampalataya. Nakipag-beso-beso muna ito bago kumuha ng isa pang upuan para makasalo sa aming pagkakape. "How's your life in general mga ninang?" Napansin nya ang saklay ko kaya nanlaki ang mata nito. "Ay ano yan, manunulat na pilay mode?"


"Natapilok ako." simple kong kwento. "Na-sprain."


"Weh, bakit bonggang-bongga namang me crutches pa and everything? Don't answer that, gets ko na." parang armalite lang kung magbuga ng salita ang isang ito. "Why naman mukhang pagkatalo sa lotto ang face mo?"


"Hindi ko kasi alam kung pano ko papatigilin si Gani sa pangungulit sa akin. Napilayan na nga ako dahil sa gusto kong makalayo sa kanya. Pero wala pa rin. Kuntodo text or tawag kung kailangan ko daw ba ng tutulong sa akin pumunta sa klase. Hay grabe na 'to."


Sumimangot naman si Noki sa sinabi ko. "Are you telling me na nagrereklamo ka kasi me isang tao sa buong universe na may paki sa iyong nafilay na leg? Namayawang pa ito for effect. "Are you telling me na nasestress ang bangs mo kasi me isang matipunong nilalang na handa kang mahalin, buhatin, ipagtanggol at lasapin?" Tumango na lang ako. Mejo nakakatakot na ang monologue ni ateng.


"Hay naku Naomi Ruth, isa kang dakilang NR. Hindi kinakaya ng powers ko ang pagiging NR mo. Hindi mo ba alam kung ilang libong bading ang magpapakamatay para lang magkaroon ng kung ano ang meron ka? Isang lalaking mahal ka, hinahabol ka, nilalanghap ang pabango mo kung dumadaan ka, nginingitian ka, pinapatawa at higit sa lahat, ikaw ang pinapantasya? Hay naku. Ibigay mo na lang sha sa akin. Kung ako naging lalaki hindi kita magugustuhan mashado kang pakipot. Kaines."


Feeling ko nakabaon na ako sa lupa pagkatapos ng litaniya nito. Nakatingin naman si Melai at Weng ke Noki na para bang me iniisip masama.


"Pwede." sabi ni Weng na tinanguan ni Melai.Tumingin ang dalawa sa akin saka ko lang na-gets ang gusto ng dalawa.


Gusto ko biglang masamid nung naisip ko ang kailangan kong sabihin. "Noki, favor?"


Humihingal pa ito sa haba ng mga pinagsasabi nito. "Ano yun, ninang?"


"Pwede ba kitang maging boyfriend?"


Napabuga ng tubig ang bakla.