Friday, March 30, 2007

Do You Have Dogitis?

I had a dream last night that my Mom came over for a visit and found some old medical paperwork of Hoop's. It was buried in between pictures of him shark and octopus hunting. You thought I meant fishing didn't you? No, he was doing it on dry land. "He's got Dogitis!" My Mom gasped, waving the paperwork in my face. "Dogitis is a disease that makes your face bloat and changes your skin color. He has been looking a little blue lately." So I confronted him about it and he admitted it was true. Caught by scratching at an infected scab one day. When the alarm woke me up, he was turning a lovely shade of green. I'm kind of disappointed. I didn't get to see what color he ended up being!

Questions from the fabulous and creative Odd Mix:


1. Do you find it easier to make friends with men or women? Why?

Definitely men. I get their humor. They're easier to read. None of the cattiness or sneakiness that's prevalent among women. They tell you how it is and expect you not to cry about it. They're less judgmental because the threat of competition is gone. I've found them to be generally more easy going and adventurous when the need for entertainment arises. I love being a woman. I love the women that are in my life. But those relationships I worked for, cultivated and cared after. With men it always fell in to place... "Want to go get some beer?" "Sure." "Cool." A pitcher later we were friends.

2. If you had to move away from Florida, to where would you want to move? (assuming that you could find a job and house without too much trouble)

Hoop and I talk about that a lot. We've considered somewhere in Tennessee or maybe the Carolinas. We both really liked Savannah, Georgia. Although Kentucky might be nice. I've only ever driven through it in passing. There are so many beautiful places around us. It would be hard to decide! Maybe we'll take a road trip before we do.

3. If you could get and care for another animal - but not a dog, cat, bird or fish - what would it be. Why?

A Giraffe! How cool would that be? I'd strap a camera to his head and spy on the neighbors. I bet he'd eat a lot though. Maybe a Kangaroo? I've heard they're kind of mean. I've always wanted a pot bellied pig or a goat. But Hoop doesn't seem very interested in either. He says a dog that thinks she's a pig is bad enough and goats will eat all our plants. So maybe something smaller? I wouldn't mind a corn snake. They're not very cuddly. But they're fascinating to hold and watch. You know, I think I'd like one of everything. Oh, and the money to house and feed them all too.

4. Why did you start smoking again? When are you going to quit?

I'm weak! Out of the three of us (Mom, Hoop, and myself) I was doing the best by week two. I was down to one cigarette a day and had gotten over the spontaneous fits of confusion and anger. Instead, it was replaced by a deep depression I couldn't shake. I don't know which was worse. One after the other my partners fell off the wagon. I held on for another day or two. But in the end I realized, I need help. I'm still looking for it. It's not going to come in a patch or gum. Maybe medication. Maybe therapy. I can promise you this; I'm going to continue trying.

5. What advice would you give to the father of a brand new baby girl? (assume married and first child)

Love her as fully as you can! You'll always be her Dad. But she won't always be "Daddy's Little Girl."

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: How much do you love me?
Hoop: *Spreads arms* This much.
Tink: Only that much?
Hoop: My hands are open!
Tink: So?
Hoop: That means it goes on FOREVER.

Courtesy of
Odd Mix:

The words for this weekend are...

Familiar
Unknown


DOT: Twisted Tink has been updated with a new chapter,
"Evie's Family." Feel free to leave suggestions for a better title. I seem to be running a little dry on ideas today. As usual, comments and critiques are always appreciated. Here, I'll even get it started for you. "This chapter sucks/rocks because..." Now you fill in the rest.

Have a GREAT weekend!


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Thursday, March 29, 2007

Get To The Point

Last night Hoop and I went to Sam's Club. I always feel a bit ridiculous when I shop there. I'm neither a restaurant owner or a Mother of twelve, the target market for a store that sells green beans in 7lb cans. SEVEN POUNDS! Can you imagine? We'd have to ladle it out of the fridge. Still... There's something maddening about seeing that much food on sale. You start thinking about how much you can save and not how efficient an item is to buy. So what if we can't eat that much ketchup in a year? It's only $3.00 for a 114oz jug!

It doesn't help that their selection is limited. You go in looking for a specific item and end up with twelve different ones.
Hoop: Did they have your breakfast bars?
Tink: No, but I found this 25lb bag of sugar on sale!

I started out firm. "We're only going to buy what's individually wrapped and doesn't perish." Then the subliminal messaging they pipe through the sound system started to sink in.
Tink: I found our favorite BBQ sauce.
Hoop: You realize that's a 1 GALLON jug right?
Tink: So? We'll have a cook out!
Hoop: For the entire neighborhood?

The candy isle is enough to make a diabetic cry. 10,470 pieces of gum for $21.00. 36 Twix bars for $12.75. 360 Dum-Dum-Pops for $6.68. I got dizzy just looking around. As was I gaping at a head-sized bag of Hershey bars a woman walked by clutching a bag of dried fruit. "I think I'm in hell," she mumbled. Then the store announced it would be closing. Suddenly, Hoop and I were running through the isles in a frenzy, throwing things into the cart that I would've never agreed to buy before. It felt like our one shot. If we didn't get food then, we were going to STARVE.

I think I lived in the Depression era in a previous life. I hoard food like a kid at fat camp. Hoop, on the other hand, was probably a King of Ancient Greece, lying around while half naked women fed him grapes. Food to me is a luxury, one I didn't always get to indulge in. Before there was lunch and dinners of jam and bread, there were afternoons and nights of mac-n-cheese. This is what I tell myself to keep from crying when the grocery bill climbs over $200. "Pfft," all you mommies say. Well, "Pfft" to you too. Hoop and I are only two people. Which brings me around to the point of this all.

We have NO business shopping at Sam's Club. None. At. All.

Friend: So, what did you guys buy?
Tink: Um... *Sigh* 60 waffles.
Friend: *Chokes* How many?
Tink: We can't fit anything else in the freezer now.

Tomorrow: A new chapter of Twisted Tink! Bout time huh?

Labels:

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Picture Day!

Minus the goofy grin and glasses.

Courtesy of
Odd Mix:


Two-Toned, not the IMAGE I had in mind.


CAPTURE the first signs of Spring.


(Some Random Weekend Pictures)

Destination Unknown


Milestone Zero


Fountain of Faces


Spanish Moss


So as not to post my bling on the net, friends wanting to see a picture of my ring will have to email me. Otherwise I might have to stop fantasizing that I know karate and actually LEARN it. Right now my home defense consists of two ankle biters and a gun that hits its target two feet south of what I was aiming at. Imagine if I was aiming for a would-be-burglar's chest! Criminals don't need kids anyway.

Labels:

Monday, March 26, 2007

WWHD

Seen spray painted on the side of a car today:

"What would Homer do?"

Survey says...

(Is it wrong to envy a cartoon?)

Weekend Recap:
1. Friday night the boys and I decided to stay local and drink.
2. Our first stop was at a sports bar. The first thing we noticed on entering was that the guys out numbered the girls ten to one.
3. Once we sat down, Hoop turned to me and asked, "Do you think this is a gay bar?"
4. "A gay SPORTS bar? Isn't that an oxymoron?"
5. No hate mail please. I am NOT bashing homosexuals. In fact... Hoop is a lesbian. Seriously. He digs chicks. A LOT.
6. After one beer we went to another bar, a little dive with a $2 cover charge.
7. "Don't do it!" The girl outside mouthed to me. I had a sudden daydream of the partiers inside being forced to dance at gun point. Which would explain the seizure-like dance moves.
8. Fortunately, I didn't have to wonder about it much further. My cheap thrifty boyfriend thought $2 was too much to spend. So we went elsewhere.
9. The end of the night found us at the "Calm Fungus." Those of you on the south east side of the U.S. might know what restaurant I'm referring to. For those who don't, it's a hippy pizza place with a great atmosphere.
10. From the moment we sat down at the bar I noticed a 40-something year old gentleman eyeing me from across the way. But he wasn't staring at me persay, more like my hand. "That's a beautiful ring," he finally said. "Why do you wear it on that finger?"
11. So I explained that the ring is a family heirloom (not an engagement ring), three generations old, and hand carved. He marveled at it for a moment before I thought to pull my hand away.
12. It shows what kind of world we live in when you're afraid that someone might like what you have too much. Luckily, I have a plan for such a situation.
13. If someone ever tries to steal my ring...
14. ...I'm going to eat it.
15. That puts a new spin on my (and your son's) catch phrase huh,
Butterfly Girl?
16. Saturday morning the satellite guy girl arrived. Lemme tell you, this chick was so cool I momentarily wanted to BE her.
17. Then I remembered my fear of heights and instantly reconsidered.
18. After she left, Hoop and I laid around for an hour admiring the nature channel in high definition. It was like having the Rain Forrest in our living room.
19. Only, less wet and without the hand-sized bugs. *Shudder*
20. Saturday afternoon the boys and I accompanied their Mom to see
"Premonition" with Sandra Bullock in it.
21. Wow, that movie poster is kind of freaky. The movie on the other hand, was not. *Yawn*
22. That night we attempted to go out drinking again. Hoop and I, not the most frequent partiers, found we were completely burned out. Nash pushed and prodded, but by midnight we were spent.
23. Sunday afternoon we went out shooting. The targets of choice were paint cans, beer bottles, an old scanner, a broken VCR... and a mostly empty propane tank.
24. You cringed didn't you?
25. Don't worry. I still have my eyebrows. It made a lovely little show though. Next time we might try a fuller one.
26. After a fairly successful round of shooting we were interrupted by a guy on a passing four-wheeler.
Four-wheeler: Whatcha shooting?
Hoop: Cans.
Nash: *Snort*
Tink: I think he means your GUN you dope.
27. I don't know about you, but I'm ready for it to be the weekend again. Happy Monday folks.

Tomorrow: Pictures for the WWC!

Labels:

Friday, March 23, 2007

Easily Amused

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: You need to find a girl like Tink, Nash.
Tink: Aw. That's so swee-
Hoop: -easily amused.
Tink: *Shocked laughter*
Hoop: See what I mean?

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Tink: I called the satellite people.
Hoop: And?
Tink: I hate them.
Hoop: What's new?
Tink: First the guy hit on me, then he told me they didn't have any Saturday appointments available.
Hoop: For this month?
Tink: For EVER.
Hoop: What?
Tink: That's what I said! Then he gave me the whole, "Well is there anything else I can help you with?" spiel.
Hoop: No he didn't.
Tink: Yes he did.
Hoop: Let me call them.
(10 minutes later)
Hoop: We have an appointment for tomorrow.
Tink: How did you DO that?!
Hoop: I reasoned with them. I told them, "We keep trying to give you our money but you just won't take it!"

Random Conversation:
Cracker Barrel Employee: Can I help you find something?
Tink: I'm looking for-
CB Employee: -blackberry and raspberry candies?
Tink: Yeah! How did you know that?
CB Employee: *Smiles and hands over candy*
Tink: Are you... psychic?
CB Employee: No. You came in last Friday and bought the same thing.
Tink: Oh.
CB Employee: Boring answer huh?
Tink: I was going to ask you for lotto numbers next.

Daily Hoop Conversation 3:
Nash: Wow. Look at that girl.
Hoop: She is so drunk.
Tink: WOO! SHOW US YOUR BOOBS!
Hoop: What was that?
Tink: You didn't want to see free boobs?
Hoop: Well yeah, but... Who are you?

Courtesy of
Odd Mix:


Image
Capture


Have a great weekend!

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Thursday, March 22, 2007

"Be a good girl"

To love and to be good are a choice.

Like it or not, it isn't in our nature to be either. If it were, it would come easy. Living things are made to survive. Plants strangle one another in the pursuit of light. Animals become dispensable to each other depending on necessity. Humans, although we try, can never look outside the world we see through our own eyes. But we think. We calculate. We create excuses and reasons, theories and meanings. We defy our instincts of survival in order to understand something more.

Anyone who's played with fire can tell you how much the burn hurts. But put a man or woman's family in the middle of a burning building and you'll see how quickly they jump into the flames. Can you imagine your pine tree doing that for you? How about your cat? Change the scenario. Imagine if that family wasn't theirs. The chances of them jumping in to rescue them would be diminished to less than half. I'll admit, I'd be more inclined to pick up the phone and dial 911 first.

As a kid, I thought the lines of good and bad were clear. Cleaning your room was good. Stealing from the candy drawer, bad. The older I got the fuzzier the lines were. Now I see they're nonexistent. I stop myself at least twenty times each day and wonder "I feel this is OK. But is it GOOD?" It's a horrible goal, one you'll never know if you've reached. I feel I'm a "good" person. But some days I flick off cars in traffic. I cuss. I drink. I pleasure my partner in a way that is still illegal in some states. Does that overrule everything else?

Each day is a struggle. We build our walls up and then we break them down. And if we aren't the masonries, someone else is. What happens if you live your life as "good" as you can, loving as much as you will, and then someone else doesn't play fair? What if you get punished instead? All of this, this winding introduction, has absolutely nothing to do with any of you personally. Believe that. It has everything to do with my own personal battles. I woke up this morning, after having a hole blasted through my defenses last night, and I thought, "I have to try harder."

*******************************************

Nash has a son, born to a woman who has little regard for anyone but herself. This woman, previously his wife, is friends with another woman who was previously Hoop's wife. The plot was pretty thick before I came around. When Nash's son was barely one years old, his wife dropped the kid off and never came home. He left the military to find her. What unraveled after that is complicated. In the end, Nash divorced with primary custody, and Hoop divorced soon after. The Mother was rarely heard from again. Enter Tink. From the beginning, Hoop and my relationship has been plagued with reminders of his past.

There were calls from his ex, emails, and rumors. It didn't help that his ex became pregnant soon after. It wasn't his, but the doubt was enough to wound. I tried to be good. I tried to love and trust. We changed phone numbers. We avoided places we knew she'd be. I stopped myself from playing her game. It was tough. I constantly felt like I was living in her shadow, giving up, stepping down. But eventually it stopped and life carried on without a single thought of her. Then Nash reenlisted in the Army. A month later his ex called the base and demanded he hand over their son.

There was only one thought. How did she know? How, from three states away, did she know what he'd done and where he was at? We found out last night. Hoop and Nash's cousin, Adam, has been in constant communication with Hoop's ex since they parted. I would have been less offended if he'd slapped me in the face. Not only had he divulged to her Nash's address and information, but details about Hoop and my relationship. He let the wolf in. He chose her allegiance instead of mine. He broke a blood bond and jeopardized the safety of a little boy.

It's so hard to be good. My mind is screaming in protest.

I don't want to love my enemy. I don't want to do the right thing.

I want to retaliate.

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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Early Bird Special

G:
1. Besides being a Mom, what would you say is your greatest life accomplishment?
2. What physical feature do you try hardest to enhance?
3. Which is better, Pudding or Jello?
4. What's the most rebellious thing you've ever done?
5. If you could be a guy for one day, what would you do in that day?

Mama T:
1. Do you kiss with your eyes open or closed?
2. What are some things you hope your children do differently than you did?
3. What mythical animal do you wish were real?
4. Where did your screen name come from?
5. Who is hotter, Catwoman or Batgirl?

Alien:
1. What's your favorite position? (And I don't mean in baseball)
2. Have you ever shot a wild animal?
3. If you'd had a son, what would you have named him?
4. Who had it harder, Snow White or Cinderella?
5. If you had to create a title for yourself, what would it be?

Turtle:
1. It's said that owners resemble their pets. How do you most resemble your cats?
2. First kiss, magical or disappointing?
3. What do you do professionally?
4. What is something about you that most people would never guess on first meeting?
5. Would you say you wear the pants in your family, you or Foo? ;)

Kim:
1. Ever had any run-ins with the law?
2. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
3. Public places, kinky or tasteless?
4. If someone handed you a "Do Over" card, would you use it?
5. Which would you rather, the ability to fly or to breathe under water?

Jay:
1. Tits, ass, or legs?
2. If you had to choose, what would your last meal be?
3. Do you have any nicknames?
4. If you could relive one year of your life again, what year would you choose?
5. Admit it, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?

Newt:
1. What's the meanest thing you've ever done to someone?
2. What character (from a book) would you most want to be?
3. Do you dream in color?
4. How much did your most expensive pair of shoes cost?
5. Which appeals more, being a princess or warrior?

Alex:
1. What's the worst date you've ever been on?
2. Despite money, job, or family, where would YOU most like to live?
3. Do you believe in ghosts?
4. Noisy in the sack, turn on or turn off?
5. What would you consider yourself, a leader or a follower?

Fiwa:
1. What would you most like to be remembered for?
2. Intimate acts, better all natural or with "enhancements"?
3. Who's hotter, Jack or Sawyer? (LOST)
4. If someone offered you and four people of your choosing to live forever, would you do it?
5. What do you do when no one is looking?

Mary:
1. You've seen a lot of medical ailments. Which would you most NOT want to have?
2. Why did you choose the profession you're in?
3. What's the most rebellious thing you've ever done?
4. Is there a specific song that hubby can play to get you in the mood?
5. Which superhero is hotter, Superman or Spiderman?

Chris:
1. Do you believe in reincarnation? If so, who do you think Chaos was in a previous life?
2. Which is better, happy endings or surprise ones?
3. If you could eat only one type of ethnic food for the rest of your life, which culture would you choose?
4. How many girl "toys" do you own?
5. In what ways are you predictable?

Wordgirl:
1. You're our master of words. So, what's your favorite ONE?
2. Best time for nookie, early morning or late at night?
3. Which character (from a book) do you think you most resemble?
4. What's the best compliment you've ever received?
5. What room in your house do you spend the most time in?

For anyone who didn't comment in time:
1. If you could swap lives with someone for a week, who would you choose?
2. What's the worst nightmare you've ever had?
3. Which is better, sweet or salty?
4. What is the worst pick-up line you've ever heard or used?
5. You're driving down the road when suddenly a neighbor you don't know and your beloved pet run in to the road. You have to hit one. Which one do you choose?

Anyone I forget? Tell us in the comment box when you've played.

Around The Water Cooler:
Coworker: *Walks by whistling*
Tink: Miguel, please stop. It's too early.
Coworker: It's because you don't like Mexicans right?
Tink: What? That doesn't even make any sense.
Coworker: *Whistles*
Tink: Stop!
Coworker: You know. If you put it in your mind that someone is going to be annoying, then they're going to seem annoying. I think maybe you had it out for me before you came in this morning.
Tink: No. I can assure you that's not it.
Coworker: You don't think so?
Tink: No. You were already annoying before I got up this morning.

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Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Interview With A Vampire Satire

Questions from the wonderful and talented Mamalujo:

1. If you could meet some famous historical person (now dead), who would it be?

There are so many to choose from! That's like asking me which books I'd like to read before I die. My list of dead people to commune with would be: Da Vinci, Roald Dahl, Amelia Earhart, Douglas Adams, Anne Frank, Hans Christian Andersen... Wow, most of these are authors. Of course there's the generic answers like Napoleon, Cleopatra, Abraham Lincoln, Joan Of Arc, and Jesus. I don't think there's a dead person I wouldn't like to meet. Save for Hitler and such. Let's not resurrect murders thankyouverymuch.

2. What's the longest you've ever gone without taking a dump?

Seven days. I was vacationing in New York at the time. I have a problem with pooping on holiday. Apparently my body doesn't think it's necessary. After the sixth day I stopped eating, too afraid my body would explode with the pressure. Can you imagine? You're waiting in the subway, minding your own business, when suddenly the woman standing next to you combusts and showers you in shit. Lovely.

3. Have you quit smoking?

Sure! Twice. Am I smoking now? Unfortunately, yes. That is, until I can figure out a way to stop and NOT be tempted to kill everyone who looks, talks, or breathes at me. Hoop's Mom, a psychiatrist, keeps offering to hypnotise us. But I'm too afraid I'll walk out of her office clucking like a chicken or throw myself in front of a bus at the first unhealthy thought I have towards her son. They say you can kill one addiction with another. So far I'm just racking them up: coffee, books, movies, vibrators. I'm still working on it.

4. Do you go to church?

The last time I went to church was... eleven years ago. Unless you count the two minute wedding ceremony I attended back in 2002. But we were all counting the seconds until we could get drunk, so it wasn't exactly "holy." I tried being religious once. I wanted to believe in angels and heaven. Besides the whole Eve scam, I thought all the stories in the bible were pretty cool. And then that youth minister had to go and ruin it by telling me there were no such thing as dinosaurs. "How do you explain the gigantic bones?!" My thirteen year old self had asked. "Man created them," he explained. Then he asked me not to raise my hand again.

5. What do you consider to be your "signature" dish?

Hmm. I'm partial to my Marsala porkchops. Hoop likes my family recipe for chicken salad. I have a friend who raves about my spaghetti sauce. But desserts are my favorite thing to make. Cake cookies. Mini-cheesecakes. Mint chocolate chip cookies. Canollis. Man, I'm making MYSELF hungry!

Want to play? Leave a comment saying, "Interview me." I'll respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better. If I already know you well, expect the questions to be a little more intimate! Then you will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.

Be afraid. ;)

Courtesy of
Odd Mix:


Busy


Content


(Some Random Weekend Pictures)

Barge At Sunset


Dockyard


"Strike A Pose!"


Pretend Video Gaming

That's the new TV that Nash is "playing" on.

Borrowing A Beat


Private Drive


Find a few more pictures
HERE.

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Monday, March 19, 2007

Recuperating

Weekend Recap:
1. Friday night, Nash, Hoop, and I went on a casino cruise.
2. Nash was kind enough to offer his dogsitting services that day so we wouldn't have to bother coming home after work.
3. We showed our gratitude by scheduling appointments for the termite, satellite, and window people for when he was going to be there.
4. Aren't we nice?
5. The strange thing about the situation is, Hoop and I can't tell which windows were fixed. Nash had been too busy with the satellite guy to notice, and the framework and glass looks exactly the same. Most of them even have paint splatters and dust on them.

6. Despite our obvious confusion, we can't exactly be angry. The window company claims the invoice was paid by the previous owner.
7. I guess that's what you get for nothing, huh? Nothing.
8. Before getting on the boat that night, Hoop and I popped Dramamine.
9. I knew something was off when I started feeling sick before we'd even left the dock.
10. It would be MY luck that the motion sickness medicine would make me ill.
11. I sat upper deck all night while the boys gambled their money downstairs.
12. The boat and I had a long discussion. Apparently, boats and I don't see eye to eye.
13. It said, "I want you to throw up." I said, "But I don't want to throw up!" So we compromised. It promised not to make me sick and I promised not to leave my seat.
14. And I didn't.
15. Despite the 40 degree temperatures, my lack of decent clothing, the constant spray of salt water, and my solitude, I didn't move from my chair for four hours!*
16. The good news is, I didn't lose any money.
17. Saturday afternoon Hoop and I met up with Nash and their Mom at the outlet. She was on a mission...
18. Give Nash a make over.
19. It was warranted. The contents of his travel bag consisted of three national Guard Shirts and a couple pairs of cargo shorts. Hardly the wardrobe for picking up chicks in.
20. Did I mention? That was our mission Saturday night.
21. Sadly there would be no "action" that night. Unless you count...
Nash: Hey man, can I honk your horn?
Big Black Guy: No dude. I'm straight!
Nash: I meant your car horn.
Big Black Guy: Sure you did.
22. The rest of the night was amazing. There was bar hopping, beer drinking, sign stealing, and drum playing*.
23. The boys had play fights in the streets as I took pictures and laughed so hard I fell into puddles.
24. It was one of those nights that made you want to freeze time. Stay young. Stay drunk. Stay stupid. Stay happy.

* Instead I watched the birds dip and dive in the wake of the boat. Hypnotised by their dance over churned fish and the mind numbing cold, I dozed sleeplessly. I felt drugged. It was like forced meditation. I remember Hoop and Nash checking up on me. The very sound of their voices made my stomach heave. They left and people wandered past, smoking cigarettes and cursing their bad luck. But for the most part, I was alone. Sitting there in the cold, with my feet dangling over the rail and my eyes on black water, I felt like I was dying. Truly. Not the oh-my-god-I-drank-too-much feeling of wanting to die either. It felt like I'd turned something off inside of me and my soul was slowly seeping out. It wasn't an uncomfortable feeling, which made me nervous. So I woke myself from the daze and stood up. The contents of my head sloshed around for a minute and I was tempted to sit back down. But the tables were closing and I knew Hoop and Nash would be around in a minute to retrieve me. We slept on the floor that night for an hour as the ship moved back to port. The carpet looked like it had been ripped from an abandoned hotel. The characters around us were shady. Transients with no hope and no money. They'd lost something that night. I felt like I had won something back.

* We were leaving the last bar when I noticed a crowd gathering further down the street. As we got closer we could hear the drums, frantic pulsating beats that were nearly drowned out by the cries and cheers of the people. What started as five dancers quickly became ten, and then 20, and then 30. A mob formed in the road, bodies writhing and jumping to the music. We all looked at each other, grinning, unable to help ourselves. People who had once claimed they couldn't dance, did. There was no hesitation to our movements. We were drunk on the moment. Cars stopped, unable to move. There was dancing in the headlights and cries of, "No pass!" Those too drunk to care flashed body parts. We cheered and laughed at the pure abandon. Sweating and panting, we broke from the mob. We knew it was better to leave before it ended. "That's never going to happen again!" I cried out to the guys over the fading noise. "But they'll try," Hoop replied. And of course, they will. But it will never be the same again.

WWC pictures tomorrow!

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Friday, March 16, 2007

Green Eggs and Kegs 2



It's
that time of year again! A night for wearing green, drinking green, seeing green, and puking green. If you see a little person, make sure he's a leprechaun before you shake him and demand his gold. Beware of people in "Kiss Me" shirts. There's a reason they have to advertise. If someone asks if you're Irish, say yes. Otherwise they might offer to put some in you. Overall...

Have fun. Be safe. May the luck of the Irish be with you!

Irish Joke: Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, "O'Brian, come 'ere. I 'ave a request for ye." Shawn walked to his friend's bedside and knelled. "Shawny ole boy, we've been friends all our lives, and now I'm leaving 'ere. I 'ave one last request fir ye to do." O'Brian burst into tears, "Anything Patrick, anything ye wish. It's done."

"Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I'll be able to enjoy it for all eternity." O'Brian was overcome by the beauty and in the true Irish spirit of his friend's request, he asked, "Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?"
****************

Random Debate: The news is making a big deal out of Disney's new animated film, "The Frog Princess" because it features their first ever black princess.

What I want to know is... What the hell took them so long? So far they've had two blond princesses (Cinderella and Aurora), a brunette (Belle), a red head (Ariel), a princess with black hair (Snow White), a Native American (Pocahontas), an Indian (Jasmine), an Asian (Mulan), and a LION (Nala). Six of those characters were created after the Civil Rights Act. Four in the last 15 years. So tell me... Are they really trying to make things equal, or did they just run out of time and other options?

Courtesy of
Odd Mix:


Busy
Content


Have a great weekend!

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Thursday, March 15, 2007

Do The Hustle!

Or the Cabbage Patch if you prefer. Tomorrow is FRIDAY!

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: I need to get my eyes checked.
Tink: Well we both know that's not going to happen.
Hoop: There's an eye doctor in the plaza at work.
Tink: Is there a dentist there too?
Hoop: I do my own dentist work.
Tink: Oh, so you're certified now?
Hoop: I'm a Nuclear Surgeon.
Tink: A Nuclear Surgeon.
Hoop: I got my degree at Harvard.
Tink: When?
Hoop: Right after NAM.
Tink: The war?
Hoop: Yeah. I built a time machine.
Tink: You built it?
Hoop: Hello! Nuclear Surgeon.
Tink: What did you build it out of?
Hoop: Toothpicks.

10 Minutes Of Random Thought:
Start. I never considered myself as having ADD tendencies. But since realizing that my favorite part of the day is when I get off... Of work you gutterheads ...I find my mind wandering away from everything that deals with this job. It's become a chronic problem. The stack of papers in my "IN" box is so high right now, I'm actually considering shredding it and starting fresh. Just a few minutes ago I found myself rooting around on the floor looking for a fallen peanut. I'd been working on a high deadline project fifteen minutes prior and suddenly a peanut took priority. I'm glad we don't have cameras in this place. They might start questioning my time management skills. I can imagine their log. "10:15. Tink scratches her ass. 10:30. Still scratching. 11:00. She's moved on to her foot now." It's not because I'm not motivated. I wouldn't be where I am today if I wasn't. It's that I'm BORED. This company's idea of throwing a curve ball is putting me in the warehouse for a day counting inventory. *YAWN* Why don't they stick me on a truck? That would be a challenge! When I started this job I was training people. I was making presentations and doing pricing adjustments. Then my job grew. I became backup for IT, the receptionist, and accounts receiving. They started handing off data entry projects that took two mind numbing days of staring at the computer to complete. The Bud-Girl caught me trying to poke my eye out with a ruler one morning. She quit three days later. Coincidence? I think not. So there's my rant. I need a new job. I'm thinking of becoming a professional pudding wrestler. Or maybe an excuse maker. "Tell them you found some cerumen (earwax) in your lobule (earlobe) and you won't be back until it clears up." What do you think? BTW, I didn't find the peanut. I'm sure the roaches will be happy." Stop.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Tink: Crap. I'm out of tampons.
Hoop: Didn't you just buy a box?
Tink: One box usually lasts one period. That's why I thought I was done.
Hoop: Well that's pretty shitty. They only put enough in there to last you one period?
Tink: Yup.
Hoop: That's like those three-packs of condoms I used to buy when I was younger. They're so dang expensive! And they know they're only going to last you one weekend.
Tink: Whoa Tiger.

Also, anyone else find
this article a little bizarre? DEHYDRATED camels. In Australia no less.

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Attaboy

I've caught myself saying some really negative things lately.

About myself.
"I think my eyes have shrunk. Great. There goes my best feature!"

About the house.
"It hates me. I wish I'd never bought the damn thing."

About life.
"If this is the point, I wish I'd never reached it."

I'm like the bully AND the victim.

It's been a long, hard day. Preceded by a long, trying week in a string of long, difficult months. Most of you have been feeling it too. I'm sick of being blue. I'm ready for the winter to end, the work to stop, and the fun to start back up. But Rome wasn't built in a day. So we're going to start small.

Say something positive about the commenter ahead of you. "She's witty." "He's a great writer." "She's got the nicest ass around." Make it up if you don't know what to say. If you're the first commenter, leave a positive line about me. I'll get the last person who comments before tomorrow's post. You can comment more than once if you'd like.


Negative remarks will be deleted. (Don't make me smite you with my spork. )

I love ya guys! Here's to a better day and an even better tomorrow.

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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Semi-Good Deed

Last May, Hoop and I started the slow process of whittling down our belongings. First went the keepsakes, unused furniture, and decorations. They were the easiest to pack. Next went the extra dishes, towels, sheets, and clothes. Then came the bulkier items (beds, dressers, TVs, computers) and the things we never thought we'd live without. In the end, we learned how to live out of five small clothes bins, with a box for our shoes and a trash bag filled with toiletries.

At first it bothered me. I felt unprepared. My answer to everything was, "We have one of those packed somewhere." But as the months rolled by, I learned to like living like a nomad. I felt free. No one could judge me for the quality of my things. I didn't have to worry about dusting or cleaning anything. There was nothing to break or replace. There was no worry about overused space. I didn't have to bother with getting rid of anything, it was just... gone.

All of that stopped the moment we unloaded the truck.

"What is all this?" "It's our stuff." "Really? But, WHY?"

Our garage is a tetris of boxes and furniture from floor to ceiling. I wandered the garage as we unloaded, reading labels like "spare cables" and "desk junk" off of boxes. It finally sunk in when I found an extra large box that read, "hangers." Who the hell needs an extra large box of hangers?! "What are we going to do with all this stuff?" I asked Hoop as he and Nash unloaded our secondhand entertainment stand. He shrugged. "We don't need this stand anymore. I'm going to buy us that flat screen." "Good!" I replied, instantly arming myself with marker and tape.

"FREE TO GOOD HOME," the sign read.

Ten minutes later a small pickup truck pulled up. "I have a good home!" The female driver shouted. I was thrilled. Unfortunately, the stand wouldn't fit in the back of her truck. "That's OK. We're on our way out," Hoop told her. "We can just drop it off at your place." "What do you want to bet she lives in an apartment?" Nash laughed. "On the second floor around the back." I assured them the woman would not make them carry it in. "We're strangers. She's not going to want us in her house!" But of course, she did. Second story, around the back.

"Thank you so much! I'm a single Mom with two kids. Stuff like this is so great to find. I swear something good is going to happen for you three soon." We smiled and left, happy with our good deed. Or semi-good deed if you'd rather. It wasn't too much of a sacrifice. Of course the boys had suffered the worst of it. The flight of stairs they'd carried the stand up was barely wide enough to fit them, let alone a bulky piece of furniture. But they'd managed and we'd found a home for something we didn't really need. "I hope I win the lotto now," Hoop said as we pulled out of the apartment complex.

But what came back around (for me) wasn't a winning lotto ticket.

It was a pack of gum.

We had just sat down to eat when I reached into my purse to find my phone. What I grabbed instead was a small square package. It was wrapped in a hairband and had a little note attached. "I love you," it read. I felt a small ache start in my chest and sniffled back some tears. Sometime, in the midst of our good-byes, my Mom had slipped the little token into my purse. She knew that no matter how much I had missed my freedom, I was going to miss her too. It's been a difficult journey. She just wanted me to know that it was all going to be OK. In that moment, that pack of gum was everything I could ever want and need. It was the perfect gift for a semi-good deed.

March Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
1. Armpit lover You would love Indiana. It's like the armpit of the U.S.
2. Tulip Sniffer Much more pleasant than the above fellow.
3. Alternatives to cussing Cheese and Rice! Son of a Biscuit Eater!
4. Please be kind enough to give me an excuse My blog ate it.
5. Hives from beef in last year No hives here. Unless you count the termites. Do they have hives?

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Monday, March 12, 2007

Moving Day

I'm so worn out my eyebrows hurt.

Around The Water Cooler:
New Coworker: She has all these stupid little catch phrases.
Tink: Doesn't everybody?
New Coworker: I don't. Do you?
Tink: Yeah!
New Coworker: What are they?
Tink: "I ate it" and "I sold him to gypsies."
New Coworker: WHAT?
Tink: You know. As in, "Where's my pen?" "I ate it." "Where's the toner?" "I ate it." "Where's Bob?" "I sold him to gypsies."
New Coworker: ...
Tink: You're not a gypsy are you?
New Coworker: *Hangs up phone*

Weekend Recap:
1. As much as I love Hoop's brother, I knew his arrival into town would complicate things. Hoop has a tendency of abandoning all else when Nash is around.
2. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, when things are normal.
3. When things are chaotic and we're preparing for a big move, it can be irksome.
4. Friday night Hoop and I got into it. He wanted to go out drinking with his brother. I felt we needed to pack for the next day's move.
5. I hate being the bad guy.
6. Of course we ended up packing. But it was a hollow victory. He blamed me for everything and then called me "defensive." I implied he was immature and then pulled the "you can always leave" card.
7. If only we had stopped and listened to what we were saying, we might have seen the humor in it. But we didn't.
8. I can see it now, fortunately.
9. Saturday morning Hoop, Nash, and I rented a Uhaul and went to work picking up our things...
10. ...which were stashed in three separate locations about 30 miles from each other.
11. Fucking brilliant. Uhaul makes you pay by the MILE.
12. In the end, what had taken Hoop and I weeks to accomplish was quickly undone in a matter of a day. Crazy how that works.
13. Nine hours, 143 miles, and $200 later we dropped the Uhaul off at the lot.
14. As we were walking past the trailers on the way out, a door to one suddenly opened...
15. ...and out popped the owner, who was very clearly piss-ass drunk.
16. We stood staring for a minute, stunned. "Can I help you?" The man growled, swaying on his feet. He looked like he might charge at any second. Nash waved the key in the air. "We're just dropping this off."
17. The guy seemed surprised, like he'd forgotten he owned the place. "OH. OK. Thank you!" Then he disappeared again, back into the Uhaul trailer.
Nash: Was that guy-
Tink: -hiding out in the trailer?
Nash: Yeah!
Tink: He sure was.
Hoop: Nobody is going to believe this.
18. That night we went out drinking at our favorite local bar. We managed to find half a free table, a lucky sign on a busy night.
19. The couple on the other side struck up a conversation instantly. The girl was beautiful. Painfully so.
20. Surprisingly, her boyfriend didn't seem to notice (or care). He looked bored.
21. It wasn't until she started talking that I understood why. Ten minutes into her monologue my eyes glossed over.
22. "Cutting hair is a whole lot harder than it sounds. It helps to have a background in sociology and psychology. That's my brother over there. Do you like his dreads? I was so mad when he started them. After all those expensive hair products I stole for him. But I love him! *Eyes start watering* We've never been apart and now he's leaving me. We're like twins. Only 15 months apart. I'd move but my career is really starting to take off."
23. She continued like that for 40 minutes. At one point I actually poked myself in the eye for a distraction.
24. She didn't even notice.
25. Sunday morning the boys and I parted ways. I went to pick up the dogs. They went to pick up a TV and order our couch.
26. Rule number 1. Don't ever let the boys go shopping for electronics alone again. They'll come home with a $3,000 tv.
27. Rule number 2. When faced with the tv of their dreams, boys will be unable to think of anything else. Even if their girl is starving and waiting at the restaurant next to the theater with only 45 minutes before the movie starts.
28. It really is a nice TV though.
29. And
300 was an amazing movie! The violence reminded me of Braveheart but with nudity and better special effects. Definitely not one to miss. But leave the kiddos at home.

Courtesy of
Odd Mix


Gracious
Steadfast


I was too busy loading a bunch of crap I didn't remember owning into a Uhaul. Funny how four months of being separated from your stuff makes you forget. Anyway... How did you play?

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Friday, March 09, 2007

Junk

Ugh. Grrr. Mmm.

Sounds of a zombie?
Bizarre lovemaking?
Tink without coffee? Ding, ding, ding!

March Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
1. parents bed squeaks If you're old enough to Google it, you're old enough to have "the talk."
2. "you're such a vagina" Someone does say it!
3. soupylicious
4. goofy legs
5. plan: perve on airplane plan: pack taser
6. I love my hamster
Hopefully not too much.
7. Granny bed thumbs What an awful porn name.

Awesome Article: (Original/Full article can be found
HERE)

RITUAL DRAWS SWEETHEARTS TO ROME BRIDGE
Sweethearts in the Italian capital have adopted a new ritual as a symbol of undying love: hanging a padlock on a lamppost on the city's most ancient bridge and throwing the key into the Tiber. The craze has drawn hundreds of couples in the few months since it started — causing city officials to wonder whether the ancient Roman bridge is suited for such an overwhelming display of passions.

Some couples write their names or a message on the lock. They throw the key into the river over their shoulders to avoid seeing where it falls. It's quite a change of scenery for a bridge that has seen more war than love since it was built in the second century B.C. Ponte Milvio served as the battlefield between rival emperors Constantine and Maxentius in 312; it was the backdrop of the Italians' struggle for independence in the 1800s.


Not Far From The Tree:
Tink: This program reminds me of the documentaries they showed in middle school. If they start talking about how babies are made, I'm leaving.
Mom: Don't you know?
Tink: How babies are made?
Mom: Yeah.
Tink: Well duh. The stork brings them.
Mom: Only SOME of them. The other half comes from the Cabbage Patch.
Tink: Yeah, the bad half.
Mom: Well that explains it!
Tink: What?
Mom: That's where I got all three of you.
Tink: Touche.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: Am I insane for loving you as much as I do?
Tink: ...
Hoop: Babe?
Tink: I'm trying to figure out how to answer that.

DOT: Twisted Tink has been updated with a new chapter,
"Strange Coincidences." Whose room has Tink landed in? Will she be welcome if she's discovered? As always, comments, suggestions, and critiques are appreciated. Looters and people carrying tomatoes will be sporked. Which is not nearly as kinky as it sounds.

Have a great weekend!

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Thursday, March 08, 2007

Deviation From Organization

I logged on to Yahoo this morning, saw this picture and thought to myself, "Man. Harry Potter is starting to look OLD!"



(Yes, I know who it really is.)

I think I should be the poster child for sleep and coffee deprivation. Even my autopilot is malfunctioning. Did I mention I had a dream the other night that my Mom had a penis? No?! Well, why ruin a good thing? I'm sure Freud would have a ton to say about that. AG is finally home and doing much better now that he's with family. He's never going to be "healthy." He's 80-something years old! But the truly amazing thing is that he's walking again, despite what the doctors said. That alone is cause for celebration.

I went to the local Goddess shop at lunch to pick up some sage for the house. The young brunette behind the counter struck up a conversation and before I knew it I was rambling on about my problematic house. I realized how funny the situation was halfway through when she stopped saying "uh huh," and just stared at me wide eyed. So I laid it on a little thicker. Swarms became hoards. Loose windows became gaping holes. By the time we were ready to leave I had her believing my house was possessed.

Jay's birthday was yesterday! It's not too late to wish him a happy one. While you're at it, bring me back a slice of cake OK? Make sure the stripper is out before you cut it though. Sunshine's birthday is in a few days. Head on over and send her some early wishes. While you're at it, bring me back that stripper OK? I'm fine on cake. Thanks. Anyone else have a birthday coming up, just passed, or today? Not because I'm going to send you presents or anything. Pfft. I just want to know what kind of goodies you're having.

Two nights ago Mom asked me what I love about Hoop. At first I thought it was a trick question. But by the middle of my list, I realized she wasn't going to say anything negative. In fact, she wasn't saying anything at all. Mom has always acted like Hoop and my relationship is temporary. It doesn't really matter what she thinks. But that doesn't stop me from wanting her to love him too. "What do you love about Hoop?" she'd asked. "I love his sense of humor." I'd said. I should have elaborated more. "I love how his sense of humor varies. Sometimes he's terribly witty. Other times, gross or shocking. Sometimes it's at other's expense, but mostly at his own. I love that he loves to make people laugh."

That might have saved me from this awkward conversation:

(While watching a show about conjoined twins)
Tink: How awful!
Papa Bear: Can they be separated?
Mom: No. They share everything but a head.
Hoop: They could just lop one of those off.

Hoop was the only one who laughed.

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Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Missing

"Missing: a blogger named Tink."

At least that's what the poster said a few blogs down the way. No reward though. That was kind of disappointing.

I'm sorry for the extended absence. I ended up working on Monday and taking Tuesday off. Things have been crazy lately. Not the good kind of crazy either. Not the kind that makes you table dance with a bottle of tequila while singing Marley. No. It's the kind that makes you want to commit yourself just so you get a decent nights sleep.

Where do I start? Here. Read the post I didn't finish on Monday...

Weekend Recap:
1. There's a buzzing in my ear.
2. I think it might be my brain dying.
3. 20 hours of being exposed to paint fumes can't be good.
4. Saturday morning Hoop and I drove out to the new "hood" and dropped off my car for repairs before heading to Home Depot for paint.
5. Besides the nonfunctional brake lights and shredded front tire, I found out I needed new CV joints and ball bearings. Cha-ching!
6. After a couple more hours of preparation, and four more trips to Home Depot for forgotten supplies, Hoop and I were ready to finish painting.
7. At midnight we ran out of primer.
8. But we had plenty of brushes, rollers, tarps, and tape!
9. So it was off to Walmart to deal with the highly qualified able minded idiot employees.
10. First they couldn't work the system. Then they couldn't figure out what color we needed. Then, after 30 minutes:
Employee 1: What're you guys doing?
Employee 2: They're looking for this color. *Looks at underside of can lid*
Tink: You can't go by that. That's where the oily stuff collects at the top. It's the color dabbed on the front.
Employee 2: Really?
Employee 3: So it's kind of a yellow color.
Tink: No, you're looking at the wrong end.
Employee 3: It's not this yellow color?
Tink: No.
Employee 3: Are you sure?
Tink: Yes.
Employee 1: I saw you brought up a can of Kilz. You know that's not paint right?
Hoop: Yeah, we know. We were trying to get it tinted.
Employee 1: TINTED?! *Laughs like we're the idiots* You can't put color in primer!
Tink: You can, and we have.
Employee 1: Oh yeah? Who did it?
Hoop: Home Depot.
Employee 1: But you're just going to paint over it!
Tink: That's the point.

Eventually we finished painting. Well, the main rooms at least. What we failed to realize (until it was too late) was that it doesn't pay to buy cheap rollers. There are hairs all over our walls. In the end, you have to learn when to give up, give in, and understand that you've hit your
Fuckit Point. I think I hit that point on Sunday, after realizing there were termites in our bedroom. Thank God there's a termite bond. Or maybe it was when Hoop and I realized we could see the backyard from below our living room window. It's falling out of the wall. That is NOT one of the three being replaced either.

But enough bitching.

Here's the good news. The week is half over, Nash is coming into town this Friday, and Hoop and I are almost out of limbo. We'll be moving our things in this weekend! Amazingly, all this work and stress has only brought us closer. There's something about remodeling... The need for team work. The long hours of tedious preparation, broken only by the good conversation. The feeling of accomplishment when you're done. It's been very healthy for us. I wish it were as healthy for my mental well being.

Not Far From The Tree:
Papa Bear: Did you see that cop I warned you about?
Tink: No, I didn't.
Papa Bear: That's because he pulled me over.
Mom: Did you get a ticket?
Papa Bear: Nope. I was going 75 in a 60 too.
Tink: How did you get out of that?
Papa Bear: I explained to him that I was scratching my ass-
Mom: -you told the COP that you were scratching your ass?!
Papa Bear: Yeah. See, in order to scratch it I had to extend my leg and that caused my foot to press harder on the gas...
Mom: *Buries head in hands* Oh my God.

Not Far From The Tree 2:
Tink: I wish there was a Dunkin' Donuts around here.
Papa Bear: There's a Krispy Kreme.
Tink: It's just not the same.
Papa Bear: I can't go to either. If I set foot in one of those places I'm going to start cramming donuts into my orifice.
Tink: Your orifice, huh?
Papa Bear: Otherwise known as my mouth.
Mom: Well I hope it's your mouth and not any other kind of orifice.
Papa Bear: Oh yeah honey. I regularly stick donuts up my butt. You know, for later.
Tink: Ewwww!
Mom: Well I'm glad that wasn't the case when that cop pulled you over. I'm not sure he would have been so lenient.
Papa Bear: Oh no. He would have been insulted.
Mom: Insulted?
Papa Bear: You know how cops feel about donuts. He might have thought I was saving it for him.

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Friday, March 02, 2007

Farewell February

Hoop Quote Of The Day:
"I could barely understand her. She needs to take a prununsheashon(pronunciation) class or something."

February Hit Statistics:
1. The primary day for hits was Tuesday.
2. The most popular hour being 4pm.
3. The top referrers were Foo and Mamalujo.
4. The most used search term was, "Totally Useless Information." Pretty much the basis for this blog, I'd say.
5. My favorite search term was, "How to make a ceiling Hoop." Superglue and booze my friends.
6. The highest hit post (211) was on February 19th, the day I posted updated pictures of the house.

28 Quirks for 28 Days:
1. When I was young and towheaded, I used to pluck out all the little black hairs that sprung up on my head.
2. All you sickos in the back are going, "Oh her HEAD."
3. Now that I'm 24, I find myself armed with tweezers again. Only this time I'm plucking out white hairs instead.
4. I paraded around the office this morning with one such hair (10 inches long) yelling, "It's just not fair!" To which a coworker replied, "They're hairs of wisdom."
5. "Yeah well, I already got my wisdom teeth removed. Why stop there?"
6. I've never been a big fan of peanut butter, and raisins really gross me out.
7. I used to think it was because I didn't like my foods tortured.
8. But then I fell in love with honey roasted cashews.
9. Hoop and I have been together for a year and five months...
10. ...and I still flirt with him.
11. I once told a friend that the girl her ex-beau was seeing was "ugly."
12. When she finally saw her, and realized the girl wasn't ugly, she was outraged with me.
13. Sometimes a forewarning is better than a kind act.
14. I wish I looked good in red lipstick.
15. I love post-it-notes.
16. I would much rather hire someone who has been at a job for five years than fifteen. It shows they haven't settled in their ways yet.
17. One time I got a little overzealous shaving...
18. ...and ended up with a Hitler mustache on my nether regions.
19. Which can be rather embarrassing when you don't have time to fix it and then your dearest wants to get frisky.
20. Doubly embarrassing when he stares and asks, "Did you mean to do that?"
21. I remember the year I started growing up...
22. ...I was twelve, and could no longer bring my dolls and toys to life.
23. I'm really looking forward to replacing the toilet seats in the new house.
24. Think about it. Other people's asses have been sitting on those things for the last 18 years!
25. I miss the way things were before I put my house on the market.
26. Some nights I lie awake wondering if I've royally fucked things up...
27. ...and if I have, when will I know it for sure?
28. Without fail, products that I love and use regularly will be discontinued weeks after I have discovered them.
29. I'm good at faking jealousy when jealousy is appropriate. For example, my coworker just got a brand new truck.
30. I don't really care. But I know it makes him happy to have something other people will covet.
31. Every once in awhile I dream about you bloggers...
32. ...and I wonder if we're meeting half way.


Courtesy of Odd Mix:


Civilized
Barbaric


Have a great weekend!

P.S. Depending on how much work we get done this weekend, I may or may not be blogging on Monday. But I should have tons of updates and pictures for you on Tuesday.


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