P for Papercut.

It's been a drastic change,
days by days... procrastinate? consideration? idling?
I tend to move sleazily these few days, some matters bother me, one of it might be my FYP.
The clock is ticking, every night might hear of it once analog clock is placed beside my ear.
A reminder for me it's time for some decision,
My mind starts synchronize with the ticking sound that make me keep thinking further, further way on every possible decision going to make.
Sometimes just want to make a swift decision,
but...
thinking of how every possible decision's consequence will be...
Decision making... always my best mate.
Finally, time push harshly...
made a decision... yes, decided... my choice finally...
stick to the plan, just move on... I'll take it seriously, no doubts, just do it.

What do I have in my mind now?
My sole answer will be " Lots...too much to fit all in this moment"
Frustrating academic assignments, my consideration regarding my final year project, the tiny things happened around me, and about my past....
I have to think, once every 3 paces ahead.
Sometimes felt just let it be, but the matters keep following, invisible strings attached, unable to cut off.

Challenge waiting ahead when we grow elder.
Just to strive hard for the sake of ourselves.

Again, suddenly have the enthusiastic to go for a run, 4km, at KK... so called City Run.
With a rush, sudden decision, so gone it by myself.
With my new shoe, conquered the 4km route, 24.03minutes.
Uh...

Not much satisfaction can be said this time...

but

looking forward

for the 10km one.

at May '11.

Run hard^^

In fact, some matters stuck in my mind, hesitating something about the days coming on. In need of taking steps forward to make things happen. Needing to make it happens. Hope will not fail this time.

Cheers and good day~

几乎每天都会停留这儿，一直想再隔几天就多添一个entry。这样就隔了一个多月，就到了很期待的新年才添新的entry。

值得提的是今年的新年很好玩，吃的、玩的、一律棒。
家人与朋友的照顾让我感到人间温情，感恩万分。
但比较伤感的是，所谓人间情感的无常。人总会成长，人格随着思想而变，这样就把人与人疏远了。
但无常非坏事，我相信事件的好坏老天自有分晓，只待时间的证明吧。

觉得新年气氛无往常浓厚，少了许多轰天的炮竹声，缺乏新年喜悦欢喜的笑声，少见的亮丽壮观新年装饰，是我后知后觉还是社会对这佳节的乏味呢。

但

每逢佳节感觉都不同，就以喜悦感恩惜福的心境感受吧。

新年快乐。

一分耕耘，一分收获
什么是真正的耕耘，才有所谓的收获？

所付出的耕耘，又能有如此想像的收获吗？

或者
不用耕耘，就有收获吗？

或者
一切耕耘，并无收获？

或者
耕耘是眼前事，收获只能被期待？

或者
慷慨大方一点，不求取收获。


我相信世间没有所谓的“绝对”与”绝错’，
只在于时间、地方、思想的恰恰配合，所做的一个判断；

我相信1.0的耕耘，就有1.0的收获；

我也相信10.0的耕耘，就有1.0的收获；

我相信1.0的耕耘，就有5.0的收获；

我相信0.0的耕耘，就有0.0的收获；

但我终不相信0.0的耕耘，就有0.1的收获；

我相信是因为发生于我，
不信是因为觉得不可能，
但是，人与人之间，意外收获是预料不到的。

终回一句，
愿重耕耘，不待收获。

It's been days, staying here at Sabah, my second home
Most of my friends went back to their hometown, some just stayed for their own academic purpose
Alone at room, but not in the house;
Somehow it is very calm here, the surroundings is extremely quiet.
Even ticking clock can be heard during bed time.
It is quiet, serenity, seems everyone had asleep such in early hours.
Not in night time, but the whole time...

"What can I do" I say almost everyday morning when I woke up.
"Nah...perhaps I can read some books" a second thought of myself, and
spent some time, it happened, I finished reading a book.
"Superb, meaningful" first thought appeared after going through till the final page of the book and close the cover.

"What to eat huh" A tense thoughts almost pop up figuring for my lunch and dinner
Somehow, laziness beneath me keeps me take the less time cooking the easiest dishes.
As long it fills my stomach.

"Where to do my internships" this thought frequent appear in my mind when I sit in front of pc doing nothing
"Hmm...Sabah, Penang would be ok..." thoughts after thoughts, but my butt still heavy to move myself to search for those companies throughout the area I desired to be.

"Raining...again...ahhh...again" I said when hearing the downpour hitting the house zinc-ceiling, watching out through the window, gloomy sky covers the shiny days. Again... it rains, and sometimes just disappointed and rather spend my time at home.

Although days by days, not much stuffs can be done here, limited nice and cheap foods, entertainments, friends, but just trying to fully utilized the free time, im sure it will be a good experience.

Again, I can say, its been a long time I didnt post a new entry
Ive somehow fed up each time I used this word after a long "Hiatus"
Probably this time, I have the chance to say it again means Im free and something had inspired me to write this entry.

Somehow,
I merely remembered when my last entry was posted,
Nothing special happened, nor something terribly changed my life, but in the mean of time I was able to learn some about time management and friendship.

Just wondering around, Ive begun to read, especially fond to non-fiction short story. Although every fortnight's time needed to renew those books at KK, but it's worth while to do it.
Reading a book "The Tipping Point" from Malcom Gladwell, hopefully can gain something valuable from the author.

As time goes by, every day is a different day to me, no matter in academics or entertainment.
Busier than ever, especially rushing for assignments, perhaps because of the influences of my group members, Ive poured more efforts in it and trying to make it till the best it can. Although it was tiring, but experienced the swiftly busy time seem let me know what is worth to sacrifice for.

Friends influenced much to me recently, no matter in academic or the other matters around. Friends do help us, but not too reliable on their generosity, overwhelm reliance may cause unwanted conflicts, certain limit of reliance is acceptable, foreseeing consequence is an essence.

Now my mind is full of thoughts, wandering around, weaving here and there.
Perhaps im a bit tired of all the stuffs after raya break.
Everything came and we countered it, sometimes few repetition for accomplishing it.
Not whining about anything
but
it is my style for doing it in each of my entries.

Currently writing in the dark now, ceiling fan with very slow rotating blades, slow pace of sky getting darker, not because I like the dark, it's just black out.
Sometimes wondering if I can snap a picture and let the story be told just beneath inside it.
Wordless explanation...
But somehow,
words able to bring something beyond a picture manage to express, right?