I started writing this post this morning and just deleted everything I had written. It was just too boring and pointless. Let me set the scene for you very briefly and then dig into the meat of the matter..
Trip to Berlin went fine, snag was that SuperSal's luggage went missing so she had to get new racekit at the expo (she had her running shoes on during the journey as per previous advice from me apparently - the wisdom comes and goes and is, in any case, forgotten by me). Berlin was warm and congested, hotel fine, pasta dinner slow to come but delicious, glass of red wine seemed to allow me to sleep much better than before London (ie I slept this time).
Sunday morning, bright, warm and early, we headed to the start which was a 20 minute walk from our hotel through a beautiful park. The start area was fairly well organised, and though I had been seeded in a pen ahead of Sally (don't understand why as she is faster than I am) I was able to drop down into hers. The gun went off at 9am and about 9 minutes later we crossed the start mats. Within about 100 metres I felt one of the soft insoles, which I had tucked into my shorts, drop out. The right one. The one that I felt I might need. I couldn't go back for it though and so we carried on. The course was incredibly congested. It's a big race - 44000 entrants - and, unlike London, there is only one starting area. For the first 10 miles or so Sally and I were weaving and dodging to stay on pace. And the first 10 miles sped past pretty quickly. Right from the get-go we went out at a pace I would describe as "comfortably hard". Had a salt tab after 30 mins, my first gel (Hammer Espresso) at 1 hour. We passed the half marathon mark at 1:48, still well on target for a 3:40 finish. And then - I don't know. All through the first half of the race thoughts like "I'm not enjoying this" had been popping into my mind and I was trying to pop them. Then by mile 14 I noticed that I was feeling really nauseous, cold and shivery despite the fact that the temps were really warming up - it must have been around 23 / 24 degrees Celcius by now. I pulled over for a second and tried to be sick. No go. I told Sally who pep talked me. By 16 I told her that I felt my wheels were coming off. More pep talk. And then at mile 17 I saw a medical tent and made the snap decision to head in. Sally was shocked but by the time she registered I had gone off. I went in and said to the two women there "I am so cold. What is the matter with me?" They were completely unhelpful, said they had no idea and handed me a paper blanket. I sat down on a chair for a minute and then, all of a sudden (it was a day of impulse decisions, clearly) I thought no - this is not going to be a DNF. I said goodbye to the Boston Qualifier but I knew that, one way or the other, I could finish this thing. And so I got out of my chair and got back on the road, with my blanket around me. I ran with the blanket for another mile or so until I felt better and all of a sudden I felt okay again. I walked for a minute every mile, then walked in between as well. I got to the 40K mark and walked, got to the 41K mark and then - all of a sudden - I saw the finish and realised that if I pegged it I might just be able to run in under 3:45:59 - the cut-off. So I pegged it - and I did. 3:45:46 according to the chip time that has been emailed to friends and family... I walked through the finish chute not knowing whether to laugh or to cry - I thought I had probably BQ'ed but I also had the worst race I've ever had. Very strange. As I walked out towards the exit - I had made no plans to meet with Sally or her husband as we had never planned not to finish together and I had left no luggage - I suddenly collapsed to the ground with calf cramps. It was like I had been shot in the calves and hurt like hell. Various runners who were lying on the grass around me resting after the race came to my rescue and as I lay on my back on the ground. 2 men very kindly stretched and pulled my feet until I could get up again. Not the most glamorous of positions to find yourself in but by that stage I was totally beyond caring. They helped me up and I thanked them and just carried on walking. I really can't describe how I felt - I wasn't happy or sad, just relieved that it was over. I picked up my free alcoholfree beer (hmmm - not what I would have asked for but it was fluid) and just ambled back to my hotel where I freed my luggage from storage and could finally contact Sally to tell her I was okay and at the hotel.
Again - I'll spare you the details of the blow-by-blow - showered, changed, airport, flight, airport, McDonalds, flight, drive, home. Where my husband was waiting, super excited as he was confident that I had Boston qualified (he'd gone straight onto the BAA website and checked for the times and seen the 59 seconds grace period note). Bad night's sleep - adrenalin finally kicking in? - and here I am on the day after. My legs are sore, my back is chafed from the one insole I did run round the course with (what was I thinking?) but otherwise, I'm intact..
So how do I think about this race? Was it a success? I went out to Boston qualify - a goal that seemed utterly unachievable 9 months ago and, bearing in mind that the results are not yet official, it looks like I have. Or was it a failure? I lost the plot. Something went wrong physically - nausea is not an unusual feeling but I had it very early on in the race, straight after having my gels (which I've used all summer). I may have had heatstroke - the shivering and goosebumps was very strange. Though again, I've run in far warmer conditions. But more than anything else, I wasn't feeling. Normally when I run a race I am just full of it. Annoyingly so. Grinning, positive, driven - all these things. In London I relentlessly pushed a pace I had not run before and carried this on right up until I absolutely could no longer do it. Here I gave up. I was feeling quite blah for the first bit, hanging on mentally for the next few miles and then I just gave up. I thoughts things like "I don't ever want to run again". And yet. And yet I also got up off my chair at the medical tent. And got myself back in there. Looking at my pace on the Garmin, that slow mile with the medical stop was followed by an 8:19 mile. Pace wise I didn't really slow down until mile 23 when I started running plus 9 minute miles. Did I go out too fast? I think so. Sally was gunning for 3:35, I was gunning for 3:40. I should have let her go. However, had I not swooshed through the first half so quickly, I would not have slipped under the 3:45:59 mark. And then - I wish I could have found whatever I found at the 41K mark just a bit sooner. That last half mile was run at an 8:04 pace..
Or was it just a case of a bad day? I've had those in training, but never in races. Will it happen again? I guess if I keep racing, probably it will. At some point.
More to the point - what now? I have submitted my application to the BAA. But the Berlin results, so far, are classed as inofficial and according to the kind lady at the SCC Real Berlin office I spoke to this morning it will be another week or two before they are confirmed as official. I can't really imagine my time changing - the time I have is a chip time recorded on their website and on all the status updates. But I only have 13 seconds to play with so I'm not celebrating yet..
I wish that I had been able to qualify more conclusively. If I had a 3:43 in the bag I wouldn't be so worried. I also wish I had run a better, more consistent race. On the other hand - who knows what will happen? I may not run this fast again, for whatever reason. If I get a place in Boston, I think I will take it.
Finally - do I run Bizz Johnson, for which I'm registered, in 20 days? Why would I run it? To get rid of this awful feeling that I somehow failed. To run 26.2 fairly consistent miles. To run a good race. Perhaps - to Boston qualify more conclusively. On the other hand - what if I have another bad day? What if I run a worse race?
You can sense where I'm at. All over the place. Not sure where to go or what to do. Send me some wisdom peeps - I know you have your thoughts and opinions and I would like to have them.
And finally finally - thank you all of you who sent me texts, emails and messages of support, commiseration and congratulation. You are incredible. Truly.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Follow me!
The amazing Greg - who has just blasted his previous PR with a "bat out of hell / contained madness" pace - has found the email / SMS results service for the Berlin marathon. Bad news is you only get half marathon / finish times. Good news is they will let you sign up foreign phone numbers which is rare. For those of you who don't succeed I will try to update Facebook as soon as possible. See you on the flipside of 26.2 miles!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Who's the dumb*ss?
Well - that would be me. Because I am the idiot who insisted on running a 30K race without checking out the course profile. Because I did not amend my race strategy when I realised that it was an entirely different race from the one I ran so successfully and confidence-boostingly (bear with me with this lack of grammar, I'm on a roll here) in London in March (extremely hilly instead of flat, on trails instead of roads). Because I kept thinking I could hit a sub 9 mile pace in it. WHAT WAS I THINKING? I wasn't is the answer. Thinking. I didn't think until at mile 17 it felt like someone was hitting the bottom of my left kneecap with a hammer. And I had to struggle in.
Since then my knee has bothered me. It has improved - weekly sessions with Jonathan have loosened the tightness in my quads and improved the tracking of my kneecap. It was never terrible - nothing like my knee pain last year when I could feel it coming down the stairs. I felt it in the last miles of my 16 miler a week ago. Nothing that stopped me, but it was there. After 3 months off orthotics, I have started wearing them again and this week's 12 miler went fine - no pain.
But what it has done is made me nervous. Everything else is looking good. I have been going through my average paces and workouts in my last training cycle and my average paces are up. What felt hard last time is comfortable now. My VO2 pace has gone up (or down - whatever - I'm faster) and my long run pace is a lot faster. I haven't missed many runs in this cycle and found them easier than I did the first time around.
I'm just nervous about my left knee. I took out my orthotics some time ago because in the space of a few days the orthotic on my right foot really started to hurt my arch. I was fine without and just carried on and have only started wearing them again, on and off, since I hurt my knee. I think I probably should wear them in the race but I'm terrified of what might happen if I suddenly develop this pain in my right arch. Right now - and I know this is completely mad but perhaps you'll understand - I'm thinking of taking 2 soft insoles with me tucked into my fuelbelt so that should my arch suddenly become unbearably painful I can take my orthotics out and put my soft insoles in. Kind of insane I know but it might just put my mind to rest. Hrmmm.
Or is all of this just taper madness? To an extent. Or just general madness. Plenty of that going around too.
Otherwise, however - thank you! You guys! What a response to my previous post! What an amazing bunch of friends I have in the running community (and all you lurkers out there - I can see you!) and what a point to prove about what running has brought to my life. Thank you so much - all your comments made me feel very virtually hugged. Wonderful. Can't wait to meet each and every one of you one day out running.
And that's what I'm trying to keep hold of right now. I run because I love it - and I truly do. Not always, not all the time, but most of the time I love it. I have trained hard for Berlin and really would dearly love to BQ. I'm thinking positive thoughts and visualising and all that good stuff. However, however, however - I also want to be okay with it if it doesn't happen. I even want to stop kicking myself for being such a dumb*ss. There's little point in it anyway..
So that leaves me here children. 3 days to go. Last run done yesterday morning (7 miles with 2 at RP - well kinda) and I've decided to ignore the 5 miler Pfitz wants me to do on Friday and the 4 miler he wants me to do on Saturday. I'm going to keep the juice in the box now. Sunday morning, 9 am, let's see if I can use my "bat out of hell" strategy again. I'm not sure whether you can track me - my bib number is F1864 - so far I've not managed to find a tracking website.
I'm going to run this thing. And then I will let you know all about it. I promise!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Ranting..
On the whole, I tend to think of myself as a fairly even-tempered person. Well - that's not entirely true. I tend to veer moor towards one or the other extreme but still - I tend to operate within a band of emotion which is, by and large, moderate. Acceptable, I think. However, from time to time I get totally and completely riled. Utterly.
Over the course of this summer this has happened more often than before. For reasons I shall not bore you with I have recently come in for a larger than usual share of personal criticism. Thankfully not from my husband (or even my children..) but nonetheless. And let me say this upfront - I'm not terribly good at taking criticism. Much better at giving than taking it. However, I am trying to be grown-up about it and to stay calm (serenity now, serenity now). I'm taking it away and trying to work out whether it is true and fair criticism and, if so, if there is anything I can or should do about it. Again I won't bore with what I have been told are my various faults (highlights are that I am, apparently, not terrible sociable, and I am, apparently, occasionally bad-tempered). All fairly subjective criticisms as well, I realise, and I do not take all of it on board.
But then, yesterday, another missile was lobbed at me. Apparently - "and another thing" - I am addicted to running. It's wearing me out and affecting my life and that of those around me negatively. I blame it on the papers: 2 weeks ago this article appeared in the Telegraph and various other papers and since then lots of people have quoted the contents to me. I've tended to just make light of it, and haven't really gone into it. But last night it did rile me.
And why does it irritate me? Well, firstly, I guess, because I don't think it's true. I imagine the research quoted in the article is scientifically accurate, but I don't think that I exercise excessively. Marathon training is intense, but I know plenty of other "normal" people who do it, and many who exercise a great deal more than I do. I don't suffer from anorexia athletica (jeez have you seen me lately?). And when I don't run - like a week ago, when I had to take 5 days off - I did not display "symptoms like those seen in addicts: trembling, writhing, teeth chattering, and drooping eyelids". Good lord.
But what I really don't think is true is that my running affects a) my family and b) my life negatively. I polled the only person who matters in this respect, Adam (my kids would love it if I devoted every waking moment to them so I'm not going to check in with them) and he confirmed that, and I quote "your running does not affect my life negatively in any way and I am very proud of your achievements". I make a considerable effort to ensure that my running rarely takes place at a time when it could affect my family - 80% of it takes place before 8am.
So the final topic to stew on - does it affect my life negatively? The criticiser claimed that I was "always tired" as a result of my running. I'm not. Yes - when I run a 20 miler at 6am I am no longer fresh as a daisy by 9pm. But believe me, it's the rest of my life (2 kids, house, a pile of responsibilities) that tires me out. I have always woken early and gone to bed early (I have just checked and confirmed this with my mother, source of most truths) and this fits in with my running. Thinking things through I would say that the only thing that is sacrificed for my running is watching TV and frequent late night revelling. Without a hint of sanctimoniousness and with, indeed some regret, I don't watch any TV. I tend to use my evenings to catch up on things in my life - friends, books, washing, tidying, etc. I miss the series I would like to watch. But - it's not a big regret. And as for frequent late night revelling - I never was able to keep up with the big kids for very long and, occasionally, I can still bust out a great party night. All the more enjoyable for being a bit more rare...
Fundamentally I am upset by this criticism because I love running and what it has done for my life and I am upset to think that something that makes me so happy could be considered such a bad thing by others. It has not only helped me lose weight that I had carried for over 10 years. It has not only toned me and strengthened me. But it has also served as an enormously healthy way of dealing with stress and tension. It continues to give me an enormous sense of achievement, every day. And it has given me friends and social networks - running buddies near and far - and goals to work towards. The gains, in short, have been enormous.
What are your thoughts? How does your family feel about the time you devote to running? Do you feel you miss out on things because of it?
Ok. Rant over.
Finally - it's taper time. 3 weeks till Berlin. The knee is getting better - Jonathan said it was a typical fell runner's injury (hardcore, but still undesirable) and is working on loosening the quads and minimising the swelling. I feel fairly confident that Jonathan, and time and taper, will get my knee healed before Berlin. I've been icing after runs, and only felt my knee slightly in the last (downhill) miles of yesterday's 20 miler. Nonetheless, I got her in in 2:53 which gives me confidence for the big race in 3 weeks. Hope everyone's running is going well. I am YEARS behind on commenting on your blogs but intend to catch up next week!
Over the course of this summer this has happened more often than before. For reasons I shall not bore you with I have recently come in for a larger than usual share of personal criticism. Thankfully not from my husband (or even my children..) but nonetheless. And let me say this upfront - I'm not terribly good at taking criticism. Much better at giving than taking it. However, I am trying to be grown-up about it and to stay calm (serenity now, serenity now). I'm taking it away and trying to work out whether it is true and fair criticism and, if so, if there is anything I can or should do about it. Again I won't bore with what I have been told are my various faults (highlights are that I am, apparently, not terrible sociable, and I am, apparently, occasionally bad-tempered). All fairly subjective criticisms as well, I realise, and I do not take all of it on board.
But then, yesterday, another missile was lobbed at me. Apparently - "and another thing" - I am addicted to running. It's wearing me out and affecting my life and that of those around me negatively. I blame it on the papers: 2 weeks ago this article appeared in the Telegraph and various other papers and since then lots of people have quoted the contents to me. I've tended to just make light of it, and haven't really gone into it. But last night it did rile me.
And why does it irritate me? Well, firstly, I guess, because I don't think it's true. I imagine the research quoted in the article is scientifically accurate, but I don't think that I exercise excessively. Marathon training is intense, but I know plenty of other "normal" people who do it, and many who exercise a great deal more than I do. I don't suffer from anorexia athletica (jeez have you seen me lately?). And when I don't run - like a week ago, when I had to take 5 days off - I did not display "symptoms like those seen in addicts: trembling, writhing, teeth chattering, and drooping eyelids". Good lord.
But what I really don't think is true is that my running affects a) my family and b) my life negatively. I polled the only person who matters in this respect, Adam (my kids would love it if I devoted every waking moment to them so I'm not going to check in with them) and he confirmed that, and I quote "your running does not affect my life negatively in any way and I am very proud of your achievements". I make a considerable effort to ensure that my running rarely takes place at a time when it could affect my family - 80% of it takes place before 8am.
So the final topic to stew on - does it affect my life negatively? The criticiser claimed that I was "always tired" as a result of my running. I'm not. Yes - when I run a 20 miler at 6am I am no longer fresh as a daisy by 9pm. But believe me, it's the rest of my life (2 kids, house, a pile of responsibilities) that tires me out. I have always woken early and gone to bed early (I have just checked and confirmed this with my mother, source of most truths) and this fits in with my running. Thinking things through I would say that the only thing that is sacrificed for my running is watching TV and frequent late night revelling. Without a hint of sanctimoniousness and with, indeed some regret, I don't watch any TV. I tend to use my evenings to catch up on things in my life - friends, books, washing, tidying, etc. I miss the series I would like to watch. But - it's not a big regret. And as for frequent late night revelling - I never was able to keep up with the big kids for very long and, occasionally, I can still bust out a great party night. All the more enjoyable for being a bit more rare...
Fundamentally I am upset by this criticism because I love running and what it has done for my life and I am upset to think that something that makes me so happy could be considered such a bad thing by others. It has not only helped me lose weight that I had carried for over 10 years. It has not only toned me and strengthened me. But it has also served as an enormously healthy way of dealing with stress and tension. It continues to give me an enormous sense of achievement, every day. And it has given me friends and social networks - running buddies near and far - and goals to work towards. The gains, in short, have been enormous.
What are your thoughts? How does your family feel about the time you devote to running? Do you feel you miss out on things because of it?
Ok. Rant over.
Finally - it's taper time. 3 weeks till Berlin. The knee is getting better - Jonathan said it was a typical fell runner's injury (hardcore, but still undesirable) and is working on loosening the quads and minimising the swelling. I feel fairly confident that Jonathan, and time and taper, will get my knee healed before Berlin. I've been icing after runs, and only felt my knee slightly in the last (downhill) miles of yesterday's 20 miler. Nonetheless, I got her in in 2:53 which gives me confidence for the big race in 3 weeks. Hope everyone's running is going well. I am YEARS behind on commenting on your blogs but intend to catch up next week!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Hubris?
You may recall that before London I ran 3 long races - the Stamford 30K, the Ashby 20 miler and a 20 mile race in London. At the last one I came in in 2:54, feeling strong and ready for the marathon.
This time round the long distance races were harder to find. In fact, the only one I could find that was fairly near (75 miles) was the Belper Rugby Rover 30K. And so, without much investigation or information, I signed up for it. And made SuperSal sign up for it as well. SuperSal was worried that I would take off like a rocket and so wasn't sure about running it but I assured her that my strategy was to 9 minute mile it. Secretly I thought that if we were feeling strong by mile 15 we could then kick in the 8:10s if we wanted to. Well har-dee-har-har. Pride comes before fall and all that malarkey.
We arrived well before time and fiddled about with race numbers etc. More or less at 930 about 400 of us set off. Within half a mile of a start we came to a standstill several times - we all had to wedge through a variety of little gates and this caused quite the tailback. Still, it's a good idea to start slow and I didn't think much of it. However, once through the gate it dawned on me. Oh. This was a cross country 30K. That is, off-road. And so it was. A single track along fields led to a stile (the first of SO many) and then off we were. Or rather up we were. Derbyshire is hilly and we had to go up the first hill. And not on a road, remember? So just through the grassy fields up the hill. And on. An on. Stony and root-covered trails were followed by more fields. I stumbled and fell at about 2M not hurting anything. I thought. By mile 7 we had reached our 2nd waterstop and we were at the bottom of a very high and steep hill. My heart sank. By mile 8.5 we had walked / run up most of this hill, climbed over dozens of stiles or little gaps in stone walls between fields (very rustic I know - but I wasn't really focusing on that aspect of things) and I was seriously contemplating a DNF. Berlin is flat. I don't need these horrible hills, not to mention the stupid fields, the cowpats, the gnarly trails. None of it. However, we were in the milddle of nowhere and the only way on was up. So up we went.
And then, almost out of nowhere, at mile 17 I was greeted by my nemesis. Knee pain! No! I haven't had this at all. And now suddenly, out of nowhere, here it was. I tried to stretch but this shot cramps into my calves and hamstrings. Walking was fine, but running hurt. I stopped and started, and eventually got back to a slow and not terribly painful pace. I came through, tired and demoralised, at 3:19. 3:19! That's 10:49 min/mile...
Thank god for Sally. She talked me through, didn't complain about her own footpain, and was very sympathetic about my knee. Not only that. After the shower (which was wonderful) and wedging myself into my new compression tights, Sally's husband Bob got a camping stove going in the back of his car and made us tea and bacon and eggs. Wonderful. Delicious. What a demoralised girl needs.
And then I drove home to my husband to celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary. And watch Usain Bolt power his way to a 100m win. And watch Jessica Ennis finally win gold.
This week is my second silver-bullet week - my son is going to hospital in London today and my mother and I will be staying down there with him. I always knew running might be hard, and given yesterday I think some time off might be the best thing for me. I'm not, at this stage, too worried about my knee. I think it was the hills, and in particular the screaming downhills, which did it. I suspect that, just like with skiing, my quad is enormously tight and will need loosening. As I can't see Jonathan my osteopath until next Monday I will take it easy this week. Take the beginning of the week off, see where I am Wednesday / Thursday for an easy 5 miler.
Finally, here's the profile of the race as posted on their website. As part of their logo. I should have paid more attention ...
This time round the long distance races were harder to find. In fact, the only one I could find that was fairly near (75 miles) was the Belper Rugby Rover 30K. And so, without much investigation or information, I signed up for it. And made SuperSal sign up for it as well. SuperSal was worried that I would take off like a rocket and so wasn't sure about running it but I assured her that my strategy was to 9 minute mile it. Secretly I thought that if we were feeling strong by mile 15 we could then kick in the 8:10s if we wanted to. Well har-dee-har-har. Pride comes before fall and all that malarkey.
We arrived well before time and fiddled about with race numbers etc. More or less at 930 about 400 of us set off. Within half a mile of a start we came to a standstill several times - we all had to wedge through a variety of little gates and this caused quite the tailback. Still, it's a good idea to start slow and I didn't think much of it. However, once through the gate it dawned on me. Oh. This was a cross country 30K. That is, off-road. And so it was. A single track along fields led to a stile (the first of SO many) and then off we were. Or rather up we were. Derbyshire is hilly and we had to go up the first hill. And not on a road, remember? So just through the grassy fields up the hill. And on. An on. Stony and root-covered trails were followed by more fields. I stumbled and fell at about 2M not hurting anything. I thought. By mile 7 we had reached our 2nd waterstop and we were at the bottom of a very high and steep hill. My heart sank. By mile 8.5 we had walked / run up most of this hill, climbed over dozens of stiles or little gaps in stone walls between fields (very rustic I know - but I wasn't really focusing on that aspect of things) and I was seriously contemplating a DNF. Berlin is flat. I don't need these horrible hills, not to mention the stupid fields, the cowpats, the gnarly trails. None of it. However, we were in the milddle of nowhere and the only way on was up. So up we went.
And then, almost out of nowhere, at mile 17 I was greeted by my nemesis. Knee pain! No! I haven't had this at all. And now suddenly, out of nowhere, here it was. I tried to stretch but this shot cramps into my calves and hamstrings. Walking was fine, but running hurt. I stopped and started, and eventually got back to a slow and not terribly painful pace. I came through, tired and demoralised, at 3:19. 3:19! That's 10:49 min/mile...
Thank god for Sally. She talked me through, didn't complain about her own footpain, and was very sympathetic about my knee. Not only that. After the shower (which was wonderful) and wedging myself into my new compression tights, Sally's husband Bob got a camping stove going in the back of his car and made us tea and bacon and eggs. Wonderful. Delicious. What a demoralised girl needs.
And then I drove home to my husband to celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary. And watch Usain Bolt power his way to a 100m win. And watch Jessica Ennis finally win gold.
This week is my second silver-bullet week - my son is going to hospital in London today and my mother and I will be staying down there with him. I always knew running might be hard, and given yesterday I think some time off might be the best thing for me. I'm not, at this stage, too worried about my knee. I think it was the hills, and in particular the screaming downhills, which did it. I suspect that, just like with skiing, my quad is enormously tight and will need loosening. As I can't see Jonathan my osteopath until next Monday I will take it easy this week. Take the beginning of the week off, see where I am Wednesday / Thursday for an easy 5 miler.
Finally, here's the profile of the race as posted on their website. As part of their logo. I should have paid more attention ...
Monday, August 10, 2009
holiday running...
For the past 4 years or so I have had an autumn marathon on the schedule and so my summer holidays have fallen in my training cycles. In 2005 (New York City), 2006 (Chicago), 2007 (Amsterdam) and 2008 (Chicago) I trained with the Hal Higdon plan and I tended to just either play it loosey goosey on holidays (tried, sorta, kinda to get my runs in) or I extended my training program overall with 2/3 weeks so that I could more or less take the holidays off. This year, however, my training changed. I took on the Pfitz, I became a lot stronger and a lot more dedicated to my running. This has taken, and continues to take, big mental leaps for me - taking myself remotely seriously as an athlete is a complete change from how I used to see myself. Going from someone who is pleased to finish races (and amazes friends by even competing) to holding myself accountable to certain paces and expecting some improvements and results as a result means putting myself out there. Put simply, over time my goal has gone from just competing to working hard and doing the best I can.
Sooooo - how does this work when a holiday falls in the middle of it all? I did not want to take 2 weeks of from running during our family holiday to Greece this year. However, I also did not want to affect everyone else's holiday by the demands of my taskmaster, the Pfitz. So I pfutzed it a bit. I added 2 weeks onto the 12 week schedule (so started 14 weeks in advance of Berlin). While in Greece I ran one week on schedule (my first week, the 55 miler) and used one of my wild-card weeks. For this week I ran the schedule for week 7 which is a step-back week (42M - the Pfitz knows how to chill). And well - you know how it went. I got the runs in, though quality was absent. Instead, it was all about just getting them done. I had hoped that, once I was home I would spring right back into my workouts but that has not proved the case. I had 9M with 4M at lactate threshold pace due on Sunday morning but whether it was the day of traveling beforehand, or the anticipation of everything I had to do for my 6 1/2 year old's birthday party, I just couldn't do it. I ran 2 miles to warm up and then managed 2.95M at 7:54 min/mile before collapsing in a heap. Obviously very disappointing but the first run of this training cycle that has had to go by the wayside.. I guess it happens.
I appear to have come back from my holiday with tired legs. Whether it was all that running in sand (man, how I hate that however pretty it looks) or the running in the heat, I don't think I've quite recovered. Also, my nutrition was not top notch - complex carbs were hard to come by - the only carbs I could take were white bread which doesn't really fit the ticket. Since coming home I've been trying to redress the balance and I think I'm getting back on track. My 8M with 5x600m at 5K pace (7:26, 7:18, 7:43, 7:06 and 6:54 min/mile pace) went well last night and this morning's recovery of 4M felt good. It's a busy week ahead with 11M tomorrow morning, 10M on Thursday morning (with 4M at lactate threshold - I want to get those LT miles in) and then a 20M race on Sunday. Yes! I've found one. Unfortunately it's a tough one - the Belper Rugby Rover is a cross country race with hills, mud, trails, sheep and cows.. Apparently the 20 miles are as tough as a flat marathon. However, it will just be good to get some more race training in. Plus I'm doing it with SuperSal so I'm going to have to have a word with her about pacing. She'll be bounding up those hills at 7:10 min/miles before we know it. Then next week I'm doing using my second silver bullet week as my son will be in hospital in London for an operation and I'm not sure how much running I can get in. I'm going to try to do the stepback week schedule again but will have to see how the land lies..
Wow my posts are so boring these days aren't they? Life is pretty crazy busy outside of running and so my brain is on the frizz. Lots of other people (I am catching up on your blogs, I promise) appear to be suffering with a case of the blahs and I think I've picked up a mild case myself. However - I promise to HTFU and just get on with it. And maybe wit and entertainment will make a reappearance?
I appear to have come back from my holiday with tired legs. Whether it was all that running in sand (man, how I hate that however pretty it looks) or the running in the heat, I don't think I've quite recovered. Also, my nutrition was not top notch - complex carbs were hard to come by - the only carbs I could take were white bread which doesn't really fit the ticket. Since coming home I've been trying to redress the balance and I think I'm getting back on track. My 8M with 5x600m at 5K pace (7:26, 7:18, 7:43, 7:06 and 6:54 min/mile pace) went well last night and this morning's recovery of 4M felt good. It's a busy week ahead with 11M tomorrow morning, 10M on Thursday morning (with 4M at lactate threshold - I want to get those LT miles in) and then a 20M race on Sunday. Yes! I've found one. Unfortunately it's a tough one - the Belper Rugby Rover is a cross country race with hills, mud, trails, sheep and cows.. Apparently the 20 miles are as tough as a flat marathon. However, it will just be good to get some more race training in. Plus I'm doing it with SuperSal so I'm going to have to have a word with her about pacing. She'll be bounding up those hills at 7:10 min/miles before we know it. Then next week I'm doing using my second silver bullet week as my son will be in hospital in London for an operation and I'm not sure how much running I can get in. I'm going to try to do the stepback week schedule again but will have to see how the land lies..
Wow my posts are so boring these days aren't they? Life is pretty crazy busy outside of running and so my brain is on the frizz. Lots of other people (I am catching up on your blogs, I promise) appear to be suffering with a case of the blahs and I think I've picked up a mild case myself. However - I promise to HTFU and just get on with it. And maybe wit and entertainment will make a reappearance?
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Humble pie
For my first few marathons the 20 mile runs in my schedule were the big, big mountains in my training. They were the runs I dreaded, the ones I felt I had to get right in order to feel confident about my training and upcoming race. Then, last training cycle I ran both of my 20 milers as races. This both improved my times (considerably) and made them more fun and less of a big deal. Also, the Pfitzinger program has so many relatively long runs and big training weeks. For whatever reason, I was feeling quite seasoned and I no longer felt any fear about doing my first 20 miler of this cycle while on holiday in Greece.
But this long run proved a fickle mistress.. I had gone to bed early the night before, leaving the rest of my family to have their night out and instead staying in to eat pasta and drink water. I got up at 530 am to beat the heat, but found, upon being outside, that it was still dark. Greek drivers have to be seen to be believed, so I dared not venture out before daylight. So I headed to the treadmill for my first 2 miles. By then it was light enough (and I was fed up enough) to head out. Strike one - for the first time ever my Garmin acted up. 1 minute into my run the autolap feature told me I'd run a mile. Dang! I started panicking - how was I going to measure out a 20 miler in a new territory without the Garmin? However, I managed somehow to restart the thing and off I went. I had run 12 earlier in the week so the first 6 miles were not too hard, though I felt no pace in my legs. I could feel I had the (still mild) wind in my back and, all in all, it was not going too badly. And then, very suddenly, I ran out of road. The track which follows the coastline, simply stopped. So I waded across the sand and ran the next 2 miles along the beach, right along the shoreline. Although this was the best (most packed) surface, the camber was very steep and, of course, I mistimed my steps and managed to wet both feet. I was getting thoroughly fed up by this stage. I decided 2 miles out along the beach was enough (was, by this stage, getting 12:30 minute miles) and so turned around. 2 miles back was worse as the wind was now picking up (the kitesurfers were already setting up at 7am so that tells you something) and I now got sand in my face as well. Great. Back on the track things improved a bit - at least the surface underfoot was better) but the wind was now getting very strong. I sucked down an espresso Hammergel and headed out on a 1 mile out and back up and down a hill road to add the extra 2 miles I had missed by only heading out 8 miles to begin with) and then started on the way back. What can I say? It was horrible. It was really hot, really windy and just a constant struggle. In my 20 milers for London I had run great races and now I felt like I was just back to square one - struggling to get under 10 minute miles. I didn't. My overall time for the run was 3:26.
I don't think it's my fitness. All my runs for the past few weeks have gone very well and I've not struggled at all with any of the set paces. I think it was purely the very unpleasant circumstances of the environment. But nonetheless it was humbling. I thought I would just slip this long run in. And I didn't. It took every ounce of mental strength I possessed to just carry on and drag myself through this run. Probably a good thing to just regain a little respect for the distance and the effort. Not to mention for all those pals of mine who train in the heat all the time.
Finally - here is a photo I took along the way. It convey nothing of the unpleasantness and makes it all look rather lovely. Maybe it's my attitude that needs changing and nothing else..
But this long run proved a fickle mistress.. I had gone to bed early the night before, leaving the rest of my family to have their night out and instead staying in to eat pasta and drink water. I got up at 530 am to beat the heat, but found, upon being outside, that it was still dark. Greek drivers have to be seen to be believed, so I dared not venture out before daylight. So I headed to the treadmill for my first 2 miles. By then it was light enough (and I was fed up enough) to head out. Strike one - for the first time ever my Garmin acted up. 1 minute into my run the autolap feature told me I'd run a mile. Dang! I started panicking - how was I going to measure out a 20 miler in a new territory without the Garmin? However, I managed somehow to restart the thing and off I went. I had run 12 earlier in the week so the first 6 miles were not too hard, though I felt no pace in my legs. I could feel I had the (still mild) wind in my back and, all in all, it was not going too badly. And then, very suddenly, I ran out of road. The track which follows the coastline, simply stopped. So I waded across the sand and ran the next 2 miles along the beach, right along the shoreline. Although this was the best (most packed) surface, the camber was very steep and, of course, I mistimed my steps and managed to wet both feet. I was getting thoroughly fed up by this stage. I decided 2 miles out along the beach was enough (was, by this stage, getting 12:30 minute miles) and so turned around. 2 miles back was worse as the wind was now picking up (the kitesurfers were already setting up at 7am so that tells you something) and I now got sand in my face as well. Great. Back on the track things improved a bit - at least the surface underfoot was better) but the wind was now getting very strong. I sucked down an espresso Hammergel and headed out on a 1 mile out and back up and down a hill road to add the extra 2 miles I had missed by only heading out 8 miles to begin with) and then started on the way back. What can I say? It was horrible. It was really hot, really windy and just a constant struggle. In my 20 milers for London I had run great races and now I felt like I was just back to square one - struggling to get under 10 minute miles. I didn't. My overall time for the run was 3:26.
I don't think it's my fitness. All my runs for the past few weeks have gone very well and I've not struggled at all with any of the set paces. I think it was purely the very unpleasant circumstances of the environment. But nonetheless it was humbling. I thought I would just slip this long run in. And I didn't. It took every ounce of mental strength I possessed to just carry on and drag myself through this run. Probably a good thing to just regain a little respect for the distance and the effort. Not to mention for all those pals of mine who train in the heat all the time.
Finally - here is a photo I took along the way. It convey nothing of the unpleasantness and makes it all look rather lovely. Maybe it's my attitude that needs changing and nothing else..
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Gearing up, heading out and going naked
I’ve been blaming my lack of posts in the past 10 months on work. However, now that work has, for the time being, disappeared out of my life, I’ve been posting even less. Thinking about it this morning while I was pounding out 10 painful miles on the treadmill (of which more later) I realised that the main reason my posts have been further and fewer between is because of the demands of my training program. I am too busy running to write about it.. This does not seem to affect other Pftitzionados I know (and I am hereby, officially, coining this phrase – feel free to use and distribute) like Aron, Tara and Maritza but in my case, this is what seems to happen.
So, another post, another excuse. At least it’s a different one.
Since giving up work about 4 weeks ago things have not stopped. My daughter and then my son started their summer holidays, tax returns were due and then our old flat in London (vestige of our previous life which we rent out) was vacated by our tenants and my husband and I spent a week dealing with the revolting state our tenants had left it in. An ongoing project but thankfully it has been interrupted by our summer holiday, booked way back in February when it was freezing and cold and all I could think about was getting some heat. Well I’ve found it.
I will be uploading this post from the island of Naxos, in Greece. We are staying in a lovely hotel 10 minutes from the beach and have, so far, spent our days either by the pool or at the beach. Reading, building sandcastles, swimming – it has been absolutely wonderful to switch off. It is hot – very hot – and saved only by the breeze, well wind, that blows across the entire Cycladic chain of islands in summer. And yes, I have been getting my runs in. 12M on Tuesday was run along the coast as an out and back. 5 yesterday was not too taxing but I was dreading this morning’s 12. It was a V02 workout with 7M at halfmarathon / 15K pace. The roads are fine to run on but dusty and sandy – not at all great for speedwork – and the wind makes your speeds differ widely, depending on whether it is in your back on or in your face. So I decided to go for it on the hotel’s treadmill in its very bare gym. This being continental Europe, all the treadmills are in kms but Pfitz has helpfully started incorporating some km distances into his schedules. So I warmed up for 2K and then ran 12K at 11.5 km/h pace. Which I think is sort of the right pace. Hard to work out. It didn’t feel too painful so it was probably not quite fast enough. On the other hand I find doing any distances on the treadmill psychologically incredibly difficult so it was probably best to pitch it conservatively. I then had 5K more to run and have to admit defeat – after a cooldown of 2K I had had enough. I just cannot bear these things! Being on it for nearly 90 minutes was just about the hardest thing I’ve done in this training cycle. I find it so boring, find myself counting down the distances to the nearest 10th, and am just running and waiting for it to be over. Anyway – I’m not beating myself up too much for the >2M I missed – I ran those on Monday anyway on the treadmill at the airport hotel – and tomorrow is my first 20 miler of this training cycle so it’s not bad thing to cut things a bit shorter today. I’m taking a leaf out of all Roho’s books here – I’m going to start this run at 5:20am so I can get most of it in before the sun gets really serious.
Changing the topic, I was going to do a post on all my new gear, gearing up for Berlin. There is finally a Hammer distributor in the UK and so I placed a big order for espresso (nutella) gels and some small packets of the various different drinks etc. that they sell. However, it appears the distributor has a pretty iffy computer connection and my delivery took about 2 weeks to arrive. I was going to take a photo of all my new food and my new shoes and tights, but I got fed up with waiting and started using it all. So you’ll just have to believe me when I tell you that I’ve bought a new pair of Asics Gel Nimbus 11s which I am slowly wearing in and that my mother has treated me to a pair of serious compression tights which I’m hoping to start using in September and will certainly be wearing on the plane home from Berlin (as I’m basically crossing the finish, pulling on my tights and then getting on a plane)…
As for going naked you will be relieved to hear that this has nothing to do with my ass injury – and that’s all fine now thank you – but rather has to do with my orthotics. Those of you who have been working their way through this blog for a while know I was really injured last year and tried every possible thing to get over it. One of the things I did was go to see a podiatrist and, of course, I was prescribed custom orthotics. Has anyone ever gone to see a podiatrist and not come back with (screamingly expensive) custom orthotics? Anyhow I have been wearing these things for well over a year now, training and racing, but about 5 weeks ago I started to notice that I was really feeling them in my shoes. Then I went out for a long run and found I could not run with them at all – they really hurt my feet. Of course I did not have the original insoles in my shoes anymore so I had to bail on that run. At home, I found some insoles and started running, tentatively, without my orthotics. Would the sky fall? It didn’t. 5 weeks on and I’m running free of my orthotics. I bought some new insoles and haven’t looked back. Speaking to my osteopath about this he thinks it is because my legs are so much stronger than last year and I just don’t need that kind of support anymore. I’ve saved the orthotics but hope never to have to use them again…
Which brings me to the end of an exceptionally boring post. Sorry about that. I wanted to update you on my life and training and, for once, there isn’t too much going on. Just getting my miles in and letting things come at me – for once… The peace won't last so get ready to catch me when I next panic!
So, another post, another excuse. At least it’s a different one.
Since giving up work about 4 weeks ago things have not stopped. My daughter and then my son started their summer holidays, tax returns were due and then our old flat in London (vestige of our previous life which we rent out) was vacated by our tenants and my husband and I spent a week dealing with the revolting state our tenants had left it in. An ongoing project but thankfully it has been interrupted by our summer holiday, booked way back in February when it was freezing and cold and all I could think about was getting some heat. Well I’ve found it.
I will be uploading this post from the island of Naxos, in Greece. We are staying in a lovely hotel 10 minutes from the beach and have, so far, spent our days either by the pool or at the beach. Reading, building sandcastles, swimming – it has been absolutely wonderful to switch off. It is hot – very hot – and saved only by the breeze, well wind, that blows across the entire Cycladic chain of islands in summer. And yes, I have been getting my runs in. 12M on Tuesday was run along the coast as an out and back. 5 yesterday was not too taxing but I was dreading this morning’s 12. It was a V02 workout with 7M at halfmarathon / 15K pace. The roads are fine to run on but dusty and sandy – not at all great for speedwork – and the wind makes your speeds differ widely, depending on whether it is in your back on or in your face. So I decided to go for it on the hotel’s treadmill in its very bare gym. This being continental Europe, all the treadmills are in kms but Pfitz has helpfully started incorporating some km distances into his schedules. So I warmed up for 2K and then ran 12K at 11.5 km/h pace. Which I think is sort of the right pace. Hard to work out. It didn’t feel too painful so it was probably not quite fast enough. On the other hand I find doing any distances on the treadmill psychologically incredibly difficult so it was probably best to pitch it conservatively. I then had 5K more to run and have to admit defeat – after a cooldown of 2K I had had enough. I just cannot bear these things! Being on it for nearly 90 minutes was just about the hardest thing I’ve done in this training cycle. I find it so boring, find myself counting down the distances to the nearest 10th, and am just running and waiting for it to be over. Anyway – I’m not beating myself up too much for the >2M I missed – I ran those on Monday anyway on the treadmill at the airport hotel – and tomorrow is my first 20 miler of this training cycle so it’s not bad thing to cut things a bit shorter today. I’m taking a leaf out of all Roho’s books here – I’m going to start this run at 5:20am so I can get most of it in before the sun gets really serious.
Changing the topic, I was going to do a post on all my new gear, gearing up for Berlin. There is finally a Hammer distributor in the UK and so I placed a big order for espresso (nutella) gels and some small packets of the various different drinks etc. that they sell. However, it appears the distributor has a pretty iffy computer connection and my delivery took about 2 weeks to arrive. I was going to take a photo of all my new food and my new shoes and tights, but I got fed up with waiting and started using it all. So you’ll just have to believe me when I tell you that I’ve bought a new pair of Asics Gel Nimbus 11s which I am slowly wearing in and that my mother has treated me to a pair of serious compression tights which I’m hoping to start using in September and will certainly be wearing on the plane home from Berlin (as I’m basically crossing the finish, pulling on my tights and then getting on a plane)…
As for going naked you will be relieved to hear that this has nothing to do with my ass injury – and that’s all fine now thank you – but rather has to do with my orthotics. Those of you who have been working their way through this blog for a while know I was really injured last year and tried every possible thing to get over it. One of the things I did was go to see a podiatrist and, of course, I was prescribed custom orthotics. Has anyone ever gone to see a podiatrist and not come back with (screamingly expensive) custom orthotics? Anyhow I have been wearing these things for well over a year now, training and racing, but about 5 weeks ago I started to notice that I was really feeling them in my shoes. Then I went out for a long run and found I could not run with them at all – they really hurt my feet. Of course I did not have the original insoles in my shoes anymore so I had to bail on that run. At home, I found some insoles and started running, tentatively, without my orthotics. Would the sky fall? It didn’t. 5 weeks on and I’m running free of my orthotics. I bought some new insoles and haven’t looked back. Speaking to my osteopath about this he thinks it is because my legs are so much stronger than last year and I just don’t need that kind of support anymore. I’ve saved the orthotics but hope never to have to use them again…
Which brings me to the end of an exceptionally boring post. Sorry about that. I wanted to update you on my life and training and, for once, there isn’t too much going on. Just getting my miles in and letting things come at me – for once… The peace won't last so get ready to catch me when I next panic!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Playing catch-up
Where to begin?
I haven’t blogged for nearly 3 weeks and I find myself not knowing where to start. Running? Just running? Or all the other craziness that is going on in my life?
In the past 3 weeks I have moved house – we've moved next door in anticipation of a house switch with my in-laws – and have quit my job – or at least , as a freelancer, quit working for the employer who was providing me with the vast majority of my work. One of my children has started her 9 week (9 week!) summer vacation and my other is about to start his 7 week vacation. All this to explain my absence from the blogosphere. I was – gasp – even off-line there for about a week.
But I’ve been running. Oh have I been running. The week of the move – which was, of course, also the week that my work got so on top of me that I decided I really had to quit working this job – was not a good running week. When I wasn’t working I was carrying boxes out of my old house into my new house (we’ve moved next door, remember, so everyone reasoned we did not need removal men…). I ran 15 out of the recommended 35m and briefly contemplated a do-over week – I have given myself 14 weeks for the 12 week program so that, if needed through life, injury or illness I can have a do-over week – but decided against it. I LOVE do-overs but they have a habit of getting in the way of just-getting-on-with-its and so, as always in the spirit of the opposite of me – I decided to carry on. And sure enough – week 3 and 4 of training have been completed happily. It’s Sunday evening and I’m writing this after a 48m week. Pfitz’s revised edition has a slight r&r week this week which my legs are ready for but otherwise – onwards and upwards.
So the facts of my running are good. I’m getting the slow miles in, but also the faster ones. I managed my 16M with 10M at 8:16 which I was pleased with. I wedged in a 10K in which I placed 8th out of 60 women – not bad for a distance I hate!
As for my life – ah well. It struck me, while out on a run yesterday that those areas of my life where I have such low expectations of myself – i.e running – are those areas where I persist and do well, and where I gain a great deal of satisfaction. I also never anticipated being married or a mother, and while I would not – by any stretch – consider myself remotely perfect mother or wife material, again the lack of expectation on my own part means that I don’t generally think I do a terrible job.
The area where I have always had high expectations of myself, however, is my career. And there, I’m afraid, I have never really been much of a success. At least, not by own standards. Although I did well at school and university, I never felt I really ever hit the sweet spot – found that thing that really worked for me. And in my jack of all trades career since things have carried on in that vein. I am trying not to talk about how others view my job or career – because some of the things I have done may have sounded prestigious, and I have rarely been terrible at a job. But neither have I ever hit on professional satisfaction – a sense that I had found my place and the direction to follow.
This sounds like a complaint and it is not. I know that when I need to go out there and earn some money I can do that. Whether I make coffee or write copy – I can do that.
But I am reaching a stage in my life where I think I perhaps need to adjust my view of myself. In my teens and twenties I thought I would be a highly professionally successful, single woman, living somewhere like New York City. Instead, I am happily married, mother of 2 children, living in the English countryside. Sports never even featured as an ambition in my life as I was just too incompetent – and now my passion is running. Perhaps I am not the person I thought I was. And I need to think about the person I actually am? And maybe by being more honest about what I am, rather than what I think I am, or used to think I would be, I will be more able to find some professional satisfaction?
All very deep thoughts on a Sunday night, after a long week. But Pfitz has me running long, and a lot. And I have killed another iPod, so thoughts like these are occupying me at the moment..
In the meantime, I have the summer ahead of me, training for Berlin and Bizz Johnson, going on holiday to Greece (lots of early morning / late evening running to avoid the heat) and Holland (wonderful, beautiful woodland trail running). Perhaps all those miles will give me the opportunity to gain some insight into my muddled head.
I will leave you all with a list inspired by Oprah the Great. This I know for sure:
- iPods are not waterproof. They don’t like being washed in a washing machine. They don’t even like being stuck inside a sweaty running bra when you forget your iPod carrier.
- Running with your family is great. I made my whole family – husband, mother-in-law, and two kids come out with me to my 10K on Tuesday and we all raced – the kids in a fun-run and Adam and I in the 10K. We all loved it, despite some troubles with the fun-run on my son’s part – and my daughter won second place, a great running shirt (which she is refusing to give to me) and everyone got inspired.
- Moving house is a pain in the behind.
- You think you’re very essential to help make things happen. You leave the place you think you’re essential to and the sky doesn’t fall. 2 weeks later, everyone is coping fine without you.
- Running is the best.
I’m back in the game peeps – back onto your blogs and comments and all. Thanks for waiting around!
I haven’t blogged for nearly 3 weeks and I find myself not knowing where to start. Running? Just running? Or all the other craziness that is going on in my life?
In the past 3 weeks I have moved house – we've moved next door in anticipation of a house switch with my in-laws – and have quit my job – or at least , as a freelancer, quit working for the employer who was providing me with the vast majority of my work. One of my children has started her 9 week (9 week!) summer vacation and my other is about to start his 7 week vacation. All this to explain my absence from the blogosphere. I was – gasp – even off-line there for about a week.
But I’ve been running. Oh have I been running. The week of the move – which was, of course, also the week that my work got so on top of me that I decided I really had to quit working this job – was not a good running week. When I wasn’t working I was carrying boxes out of my old house into my new house (we’ve moved next door, remember, so everyone reasoned we did not need removal men…). I ran 15 out of the recommended 35m and briefly contemplated a do-over week – I have given myself 14 weeks for the 12 week program so that, if needed through life, injury or illness I can have a do-over week – but decided against it. I LOVE do-overs but they have a habit of getting in the way of just-getting-on-with-its and so, as always in the spirit of the opposite of me – I decided to carry on. And sure enough – week 3 and 4 of training have been completed happily. It’s Sunday evening and I’m writing this after a 48m week. Pfitz’s revised edition has a slight r&r week this week which my legs are ready for but otherwise – onwards and upwards.
So the facts of my running are good. I’m getting the slow miles in, but also the faster ones. I managed my 16M with 10M at 8:16 which I was pleased with. I wedged in a 10K in which I placed 8th out of 60 women – not bad for a distance I hate!
As for my life – ah well. It struck me, while out on a run yesterday that those areas of my life where I have such low expectations of myself – i.e running – are those areas where I persist and do well, and where I gain a great deal of satisfaction. I also never anticipated being married or a mother, and while I would not – by any stretch – consider myself remotely perfect mother or wife material, again the lack of expectation on my own part means that I don’t generally think I do a terrible job.
The area where I have always had high expectations of myself, however, is my career. And there, I’m afraid, I have never really been much of a success. At least, not by own standards. Although I did well at school and university, I never felt I really ever hit the sweet spot – found that thing that really worked for me. And in my jack of all trades career since things have carried on in that vein. I am trying not to talk about how others view my job or career – because some of the things I have done may have sounded prestigious, and I have rarely been terrible at a job. But neither have I ever hit on professional satisfaction – a sense that I had found my place and the direction to follow.
This sounds like a complaint and it is not. I know that when I need to go out there and earn some money I can do that. Whether I make coffee or write copy – I can do that.
But I am reaching a stage in my life where I think I perhaps need to adjust my view of myself. In my teens and twenties I thought I would be a highly professionally successful, single woman, living somewhere like New York City. Instead, I am happily married, mother of 2 children, living in the English countryside. Sports never even featured as an ambition in my life as I was just too incompetent – and now my passion is running. Perhaps I am not the person I thought I was. And I need to think about the person I actually am? And maybe by being more honest about what I am, rather than what I think I am, or used to think I would be, I will be more able to find some professional satisfaction?
All very deep thoughts on a Sunday night, after a long week. But Pfitz has me running long, and a lot. And I have killed another iPod, so thoughts like these are occupying me at the moment..
In the meantime, I have the summer ahead of me, training for Berlin and Bizz Johnson, going on holiday to Greece (lots of early morning / late evening running to avoid the heat) and Holland (wonderful, beautiful woodland trail running). Perhaps all those miles will give me the opportunity to gain some insight into my muddled head.
I will leave you all with a list inspired by Oprah the Great. This I know for sure:
- iPods are not waterproof. They don’t like being washed in a washing machine. They don’t even like being stuck inside a sweaty running bra when you forget your iPod carrier.
- Running with your family is great. I made my whole family – husband, mother-in-law, and two kids come out with me to my 10K on Tuesday and we all raced – the kids in a fun-run and Adam and I in the 10K. We all loved it, despite some troubles with the fun-run on my son’s part – and my daughter won second place, a great running shirt (which she is refusing to give to me) and everyone got inspired.
- Moving house is a pain in the behind.
- You think you’re very essential to help make things happen. You leave the place you think you’re essential to and the sky doesn’t fall. 2 weeks later, everyone is coping fine without you.
- Running is the best.
I’m back in the game peeps – back onto your blogs and comments and all. Thanks for waiting around!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Week 1 - in the bag?
Well Pfitz and I are back at it again. Like any intense relationship, I think a temporary separation was a good thing. Running easy miles, at my own pace, was good for me. But before hooking up with him again, this time, I prepared myself for him. I was ready for him. In the weeks leading up to the beginning of my 14 week Pfitzinger training plan (12 + 2 weeks for life getting in the way) I ramped up my mileage and my tempo runs and, to be honest, our first week together was less demanding than the fortnight before we reunited. However. However. As you know - we are now in the middle of moving house. I had a ball to go to which required a late night, dancing in high heels and a stay away from home (well, required, but you know). And work just never stops stressing me out. So the first week, was, well a bit of a struggle. I bought a new version of the Pfitzinger Advanced Marathoning as I had been told he's changed his plans a bit. I haven't had time to read it but yes he has. He's introduced doubles. Running twice in a day. Good lord that is a challenge. Fitting one run in is something but two! So I promptly missed the first double. Then I had 5 easy to run which I ran on a hilly path with a heck of a hangover - not much of a recovery run, more of a punishment run. But I doubt the Pfitz approves of dancing in high heels and drinking champagne so this was his way of telling me to get back on the wagon.. And then I had 13 to run on Sunday. But Sunday I moved furniture and - stuff, SO MUCH stuff - all day. Up and down stairs. I was going to run at 9pm but I was finished. Done for. In the bath, soothing my aching muscles, I perused Advanced Marathoning to see if he would let me off the hook. No such luck. "There's really no excuse for outside commitments to regularly interfere with your marathon preparation". Cheers Petey. Guess I'm off out tomorrow morning. So in the tradition of truly hardcore runners like the ROHOs I set off at 5am with an empty stomach. I only got 9M in. I was running slowly (running on empty man!) and had a big, full day ahead at work and home - I had to be in the house again by 6:30am. All day this bothered me. So when I got home, stressed and ratty, guess what I did? Yup I went out and ran the other 4. Yes this is not what Pete wanted. He wanted me to run the last 8M at marathon pace. But you know what Pete? It's been a hard week.
However, on the upside - we are nearly done. By Friday I think I will be moved - temporarily. There is an 0ff-putting pile of boxes in storage and still amazing amounts of just - stuff - to be moved - but the big ticket stuff has been done. And there have been some true highlights. I found a handbag I was so upset at losing that I allowed myself to be hypnotised to try to find it. (that didn't work - duh.) I found a dress I saw recently in a sale and wished I had bought in my size - guess what? I did! It was hanging in my wardrobe all this time... I am SUCH a ditz.
We're camping out for a few months, wedged together with my in-laws (that conjures up a pretty picture hey?) but little need to worry about my house. I can just go out running. So watch out for me peeps - I intend to get back on the blogging, commenting and generally being present wagon. Till soon!
Finally - I've been so bad at most things recently - friendships, prioritising, blogging, being-on-the-wagon - that it just drops into the ocean of my failures but I haven't posted any photos recently. So here's a recent photo of me in my new running gear after a 10M run. Forgive the hideous house I posed in front of.
However, on the upside - we are nearly done. By Friday I think I will be moved - temporarily. There is an 0ff-putting pile of boxes in storage and still amazing amounts of just - stuff - to be moved - but the big ticket stuff has been done. And there have been some true highlights. I found a handbag I was so upset at losing that I allowed myself to be hypnotised to try to find it. (that didn't work - duh.) I found a dress I saw recently in a sale and wished I had bought in my size - guess what? I did! It was hanging in my wardrobe all this time... I am SUCH a ditz.
We're camping out for a few months, wedged together with my in-laws (that conjures up a pretty picture hey?) but little need to worry about my house. I can just go out running. So watch out for me peeps - I intend to get back on the blogging, commenting and generally being present wagon. Till soon!
Finally - I've been so bad at most things recently - friendships, prioritising, blogging, being-on-the-wagon - that it just drops into the ocean of my failures but I haven't posted any photos recently. So here's a recent photo of me in my new running gear after a 10M run. Forgive the hideous house I posed in front of.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Onwards and upwards (and downwards too)
A fellow blogger emailed me a few weeks ago asking me how I had managed to fit the Pfitzinger schedule - which is pretty demanding, time and distance-wise - into my schedule. The answer to that is - simply - by prioritising it.
That sounds decisive and straightforward enough but can be much more problematic than it seems. To run the mileage that Pfitzinger demands, and to fit in the rest, sleep and nutritional focus that will help to maximise the mileage I have been cutting corners out of all corners of my life.
And some parts of my life have very few corners to cut. Take my family. They are used to my Sunday morning long runs. They are used to waking up in the week and finding me either still out on the trail, or just coming in. But to fit in Pfitzinger's 8 - 12 miles before 7am is harder than my usual leisurely 5. Getting up at 6 I can cope with. Getting up at 5 takes some getting used to. And of course, everyone pays the price for my getting up at 5am. By 9pm, after a day at work and all the joyous and not-so-joyous tasks of the mother, housewife and wife that greet me in my second shift as I walk through the door, I am not the best company. This is not the time to come to me with a "I can't sleep". Or a "let's do our finances now". Or any conversation or activitity which requires patience and engagement. Because I no longer have it.
Work is fairly unaffected. That is to say that I do a very stressful and demanding job part-time which is really a full-time job wedged into part-time. I definitely have my bad patches - I am in the middle of one now - but I think that, on balance, I deal with my work stress by running and this is definitely a blessing for my colleagues.
Other interests? Well - this blog is a case in point. While I've never been as "regular" as some, my blogging has definitely tailed off in the last 6 months while my mileage went up. Which I don't like because I need you all, more than ever. I like hearing from everyone, sharing with everyone and feeling a part of it. But right now I am training and running so much that I can't actually find the time to share much of it. I keep composing audio comments while I'm out on a run but I never make the time to sit at my desk and actually record them. My recipe blog - there are photos on my computer, recipes written up but actually putting them together? I hope it will happen but something big would have to happen to free up that chunk of time.
And just as I felt my plate was full - we are moving! Only next door - my in-laws and I are swapping houses. No - don't ask. Our domestic setup is unusual, we live next door to my father-in-law and his girlfriend and, as their house is bigger than ours, and they are getting older and we are taking up more space, we are swapping. So! I am packing up the whole house. The icing on the cake of this gem of a domestic situation is that we are living with my in-laws while they renovate our house. There is plenty of space but still. It will be interesting. So not only am I packing, but I am also storing lots of things that in the short term I will not be able to have around. As anyone who has done this knows, this is very tiring work. So wedging in my runs around this as well is adding another layer of complexity.
On balance the running is helping. The stress relief, the boost I get from running well - all well worth it. But I would say that training, and in particular following a demanding schedule, does cut into the rest of your life. And while we have all spent a lot of time thinking about the positive aspects of running, and I wholly believe in them, there is no denying that spending that much time on a hobby affects your life, not always where you would wish it to.
Training - thank you for asking - is going well. I have just started my 12 week training plan for Berlin and the Bizz, tacking two extra weeks on to cope with the summer holidays / injuries and /or illness. In the weeks prior to starting the program I managed a 40M week and a 38M week, a 10 miler run at an 8 minute mile pace and a 12 miler at 8:30 minute mile pace. I feel ready for the Pfitz. Bring it on boy!
So now from the ethereal to the more, well, earthy aspects of my life. About 4 weeks ago I realised that I had progressed from being to having a pain in my a**. Yes I pulled my hamstring. The very top of it. I had never given much thought to my hamstrings but now I had to. I didn't even know where it was. The name is a clue. I had a pain in my ham. So off I trotted to my friendly osteopath, font of all running and physical wisdom. He did not seem unduly concerned but recommended stretching and .. massage. A .. well .. ham massage. I've had two of these ham massages and they have made me realise just how English I've become. While I'm lying there on the massage table having my issues dealt with, so to speak, we speak about climbing mountains, training schedules, nutrition etc. In other words - we both make very sure to avoid any mention of the massaging of the ham.
You will be delighted to hear, however, that the awkwardness and embarassment has been worth it as my ham is much happier and so am I. I think that tomorrow we can just go back to my usual ITB stretches and knee massage...
So if you don't hear from me, it's not because I've given up. I'm probably out running. Or at my osteopath's. But I haven't forgotten you - don't forget me. I'll be back!
Friday, May 15, 2009
Wrapping her up and moving her on..
Life has just been crazy. In the final weeks before the marathon life pretty much becomes the marathon. Ironically, my training load lessens but the focus increases. Then, after the marathon I have to take some time to pick up the slack I've built up in the rest of my life with family, friends and work..
So that's today's excuse for not blogging for a month! And for not being a very assidious commenter. I assure you that I'm getting to it - and you. Promise!
4 weeks after London and it's time to move on. I've taken some time to learn the lessons from London - good and bad. Overall my conclusions are as follows:
It was a great race. The first 8 miles or so were pretty tough as we had the wind in our face and the running was mildly uphill the whole way. I fell into pace with an older guy and, although his yorkshire accent was so thick I missed some of his more salient tips and tricks, it soon became apparent he had been quite something in his day (a sub 3 marathoner anyone?) and we amicably chatted as the miles flew by. The race is called the Swift Half because of the screeching downhill between miles 10 and 12 - a descent of about 1000 feet I think - and while this is hard on your knees and quads (particularly for those poor folk running the full marathon distance) it does help your speed... And so, 3 weeks after London, I romped across the finish line in 1:44, breaking my official half marathon PB by 10 minutes and my London marathon PB by 6. I feel it's a slightly dishonest PB because of the descent - I'm not sure I could keep that pace up on the flat - but I've got it. Now all I've got to do is do it again..
So that's today's excuse for not blogging for a month! And for not being a very assidious commenter. I assure you that I'm getting to it - and you. Promise!
4 weeks after London and it's time to move on. I've taken some time to learn the lessons from London - good and bad. Overall my conclusions are as follows:
- starting fast was quite a good idea. Maybe "bat out of hell" is not the best race strategy but it certainly got me into a pace groove I was able to maintain for a long time. I have definitely started out too slowly in the past and have missed good times as a result.
- NO more portapotties in races. Unless there is no queue this girl is going wild and free. Sorry for TMI but that stop cost me at least 90 seconds..
- Strangely enough there appears to be some degree of disagreement about what causes cramp. Having surfed around the web though I think mine was caused by: dehydration, lack of fuel (I should have stuck with ShotBlocks for the latter part of the race - I can get those down me when nothing else appeals) and just generally going too damn fast. I hadn't trained with 8:30s as my race pace and eventually I ran out of oxygen. Hence cramps and blue lips.
I had a very interesting email exchange with the fabulous, multi-talented and wise ShirleyPerly and she suggested I look for another marathon within 3/4 weeks of London to have another go at my BQ. I did so, but there were no qualifying marathons anywhere near me. In addition, I had committed quite a few weekends in May to other things (which I had put off in training) so I decided this plan was not going to work. It did make me think, however, that I wanted to give myself a better shot in October. While the Bizz Johnson is a Boston qualifier, and, apparently, more people qualify there than do in Chicago, I think this might be something to do with the field (more people there looking for a Boston qualifier?). Also - while it has some serious advantages - slightly downhill, uncrowded, soft path underfoot, generally cool (cold even) weather - there is one major disadvantage - altitude. I've never suffered from altitude sickness, nor found my sporting performance affected by altitude, but it could happen. So I decided to slip another one around that time and found - da da dum! - the Berlin marathon! It's easy to get to from me, the flight times are convenient and the hotels affordable and I'm going to keep that one under the radar as well to the larger public. You all will know about it, and from a training point of view it is the race I am targeting towards, but I'm not going to tell the world I'm doing it. I'm going to fly in on the Saturday afternoon, pick up my race number, go to my hotel, sleep (I'm going back to Tylenol PM this time!) and then race. Pick up my bag and get on the plane home. Done. And .. I have a secret weapon. The amazing Sally is joining me and pacing me. My London marathon briefly made me the fastest out of us two but she gave me 3 weeks of glory before she shattered her own PB of 3:52 and recorded a 3:41. As long as she doesn't kill me we will give it our best shot.
And my running? Has been going well. I have been following Pete Pfitzinger's recovery plan and am back at about 30M a week. I have a slight tightness in my ITB, going into my hip and buttock (do you always think of Forrest Gump when you say that word?) and I'm rolling and stretching and going to see my faithful osteopath about it on Wednesday.
Mentally I'm fine - at least where running is concerned. I haven't suffered from any post-marathon blues - I think my joy at my performance, coupled with planning my next races, coupled with getting back on the road again have avoided that. Also, I had something to look forward to. Last Saturday, I met Drusy, Steve Chopper, Phil Moneypenny, Gary Wall, and Mark "Wheelo" at the Rugby Club at Matlock to run the Swift Half. Do you remember that 2 years ago I ran a marathon I hadn't trained for? It was a humbling and painful experience. This time I had a bit more sense and decided to run the half. I had met Drusy 3 weeks ago and once I spotted her I soon met everyone else, as well as Drusy's wonderful family and dog. Gary and I rode to the start together on the race bus, where he told me about his amazing run along the length of Hadrian's wall (84 miles in 2 days). We all met up at the cold and windy start and posed in front of the portakabins (well all apart from Drusy who was "navigating" her husband and family to the start).
It was a great race. The first 8 miles or so were pretty tough as we had the wind in our face and the running was mildly uphill the whole way. I fell into pace with an older guy and, although his yorkshire accent was so thick I missed some of his more salient tips and tricks, it soon became apparent he had been quite something in his day (a sub 3 marathoner anyone?) and we amicably chatted as the miles flew by. The race is called the Swift Half because of the screeching downhill between miles 10 and 12 - a descent of about 1000 feet I think - and while this is hard on your knees and quads (particularly for those poor folk running the full marathon distance) it does help your speed... And so, 3 weeks after London, I romped across the finish line in 1:44, breaking my official half marathon PB by 10 minutes and my London marathon PB by 6. I feel it's a slightly dishonest PB because of the descent - I'm not sure I could keep that pace up on the flat - but I've got it. Now all I've got to do is do it again.. We all congregrated around Drusy's wonderful family who were taking photos and when we were all in we headed indoor for a sausage bap and some chips. Hmmmmmm.
There was only one downside. The race photos. Guys! I have trained hard. I have lost weight. I have had to buy new clothes - top and bottom - to take it into account. Why do I still take such a fat racephoto?
My legs! I have chunky knock knees! Look at Drusy! She's a vision! (Like most celebrities, she is actually tiny when you meet her and even more gorgeous than she looks in this photo). Steve put together this collage and picked the most flattering of the bunch but man! So annoying.
My legs! I have chunky knock knees! Look at Drusy! She's a vision! (Like most celebrities, she is actually tiny when you meet her and even more gorgeous than she looks in this photo). Steve put together this collage and picked the most flattering of the bunch but man! So annoying. We all relived our experiences last Wednesday on the Runners Roundtable - I had some communication issues and feel I missed it a bit because I was having such a hard time staying on the call.
And so now - on with it. My training for Berlin starts in the middle of June (that gives me 14 weeks to do the 12 week program so I have some time for summer holidays and illness / injury). My focus in the next 3 weeks is to get this ITB niggle sorted AND get into a routine with my cross training regime. Last time, you will recall, I did nothing. I have been going backwards and forwards on ideas but given that I don't have access to a gym I have decided to do some home yoga. To this end I have bought Shiva Rea's Creative Core and Upper Body and The Athletes Guide to Yoga . My sister in law is a very experienced Yoga person and so has promised to go through the DVDs with me and correct my poses as I practise. I have had one go with the Shiva Rea DVD and my arms are still aching...
So I'm now going to post this rather crappy post - I feel it's not very tied together or tidy, but I just need to get it out there to get on with things. I miss you all and will be getting on with my catchup. The rest of life is pretty busy and in a real state of flux as well - I will post about that later I'm sure - but just briefly - I have changed how I work - much more from home - and I am also moving house... So I think I'm going to need the de-stressing aspects of running and training in the next few months. So long my friends - see you soon.
Monday, May 04, 2009
Marathon photos phase II
That spiderman guy was just painfully full of beans - he was loving it. I was not.
Full action shot..
My loyal support team
I don't know what was wrong with my mouth. I have shown you some decent shots of me in the past - this was taken a good 90 minutes after the finish and I was looking grim...
Marathon photos - phase 1
The bobby can see that me and orange man are working this hard...
Oh it really did hurt..
Carboloading with Dawn and the expo
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
I have always relied on the kindness of strangers..
Well I haven't actually but I did on Sunday. But that's at the end of this story.
In the beginning there was insomnia. Saturday night to be precise. And the day had started so well! My wonderful sister-in-law took my energetic 6 year old out all day. I resisted all tempations to go and meet friends for lunch in London and instead, after a brief 1.6 mile loosener in the early hours, I sat on my bed and watched the Wire. I had a brief nap, and sipped some more water and ate some more carbohydrates. Evening came and then night. I fell asleep for 30 mins but when I woke at 10pm and that was it. I was wide awake. The adrenalin was coursing through my veins and I just could not sleep. This never happens to me - when I do suffer from insomnia it takes the form of waking up at 4am and worrying. This was not sleeping. Midnight came. 1 o'clock. 2 o'clock. I was tossing and turning trying every trick I knew and still - ping! - my eyelids shot open. I must have fallen asleep, finally, after 2. The alarm woke me at 5:30 and I was wide awake. At this point I felt no ill effect from my broken night and I was jangling with nerves. After my prerace breakfast (granola, banana, honey and yoghurt) I woke up my husband - who I had kept awake with my tossing and turning - and he drove me to Charing Cross station (and he sort of kinda woke up and defrosted enough to wish me good luck) where I caught the first train out to Maze Hill. In the past years trains have been cancelled and broken down, leaving runners to walk 2M to the start, so I was taking no chances. This train was still fairly empty and finding our way to the start in was easy. I saw the 10 rhino costumes from some way away and whiled away the hours before the race chatting to other rhino runners, particularly Kenneth, who had run the Atacama desert race and the Marathon des Sables, both in a rhino costume. We talked about race strategy and he told me that Mike Gratton, a former winner of the London marathon and now a more mature, pot-bellied superfast runner and coach, had told him that all this "holding back until the half-marathon point was nonsense – the beginning is when you feel strong and you should just go for it”. Fateful words? Perhaps.
I have not been totally honest with anyone really about what my race strategy was before the race. Not with you all on my blog – because I knew the wiser among you would advise against it. Not to my running friends because, well, the wiser would counsel against what I was intending. My strategy, of course, was to see how fast I could go. I knew I had got faster, I knew that I could get within shouting distance of a BQ. I knew that, if everything went my way, I might even get my BQ. And dammit – I wanted to know how fast I could run.
So after the usual queueing for loos and lining up at the start I crossed the line fairly quickly and – stopped for a potty break within the first mile. Mindful of all the notices warning against soiling public property I wasted a good minute (believe me, this minute will haunt me) waiting for a portapotty. But after that – well I went off like a bat out of hell. I just ran fast. I had been given a good starting pen so there wasn’t too much weaving about – most people were sort of at my speed – but I realized pretty quickly that my Garmin was slightly off the mile markers. Nonetheless Miles 1 – 11 flew by (quick Garmin splits – 9:51 (damn that potty!), 8:02, 8:03, 7:41, 8:17, 8:11, 8:17, 8:16, 8:16, 8:21, 8:23). The bit I dreaded – around the Cutty Sark – was congested but not to0 bad and I emerged across Tower Bridge and headed for the halfway point. Mile 12 went by in 8:18, mile 13 in 8:26 and passing the halfway point I realized I had broken my PR in the half marathon (which I set in March of this year). Now when I ran that half mary I was disappointed because I knew I could go faster but I did not intend to PR in the full. I knew that I was going too fast if I was doing this. But by this stage it had got hot, I was in the full sun and I all I could think was “well if I blow out I blow out. I’m going to stretch this out as long as I can". And I did. All through the hot sunny bits of East London I powered ahead, barely looking around me, grabbing water and popping Enduralytes and managing to wedge down one gel. Mile 14 8:25, mile 15 8:28, Mile 16 7:46, Mile 17 8:45, mile 18 8:42, mile 19 8:57, mile 20 8:32. By this stage I had finished the long quieter bit out to the East of London back and was beginning to roar along the Thames embankment where the crowds were 10 deep and roaring out my name. I was panting, counting to a 100. I could hear people shouting out my name but, unlike other races I did not reach out and thank people. I just went on, gasping for the mile markers. I kept checking my pace band and I was still on course for the 3:45. Mile 21 8:19, mile 22 8:33, mile 23 8:36, mile 24 8:19, mile 25 7:54 and then.
Then it was over. As I rounded the corner at the House of Parliament I noted, to my surprise, that everyone was suddenly overtaking me. And then I realized this was because I had gone into slow motion. My legs had completely seized up. I had felt bits of cramp earlier on, and had even pulled over to get a spectator to open my little case (because I couldn’t manage it) to get out some Enduralytes. But this was it. And just as close as it came, I could feel my BQ going away. And the real struggle began. I staggered up Birdcage Walk, barely able to think from the effort of moving ahead. At this stage I was pumping my arms hard just to move. I fell, and it was relief not to be running, but I willed myself up and back on my feet again. And then I fell again and I could not get up – my legs were sticking out straight and shaking. The ambulance people shot up to me and I screamed at them (I was primal at this stage people, not my normal polite self) to ask them to get me up. They said they would put me on a stretcher. “Not now” I thought, “not after all this effort”. I screamed to the crowds, piled up deeply behind the barriers, to jump over and help me. Two men did immediately – defying the police who I could hear shouting at them to get back behind the barriers – and then I shouted at the crowds again “Help me to get going”. And they roared my name. “GO PETRA GO”. And so off I limped. I remember seeing the 600M to go sign and thinking “I can’t do this” but I staggered on and on and finally I crossed the finish. 3:47:17. 2 minutes and 17 seconds off a BQ and an automatic good for age entry to London 2010 (clarification - I was 2 mins and 17 seconds off an automatic entry. No automatic entry for me). . But 25 minutes ahead of my previous personal record, and about 70 minutes ahead of my first marathon.
I staggered to the luggage area, asking everyone for bottles of water and drinking them as soon as I could. I told myself I could not stop till I got to the Save the Rhino area and I must have looked like a zombie wandering around until I found it. But then I did and it was like coming home. I was embraced and led to a massage table where people took off my shoes and worked on me for half an hour until my legs had stopped shaking. Despite the heat – by this stage it was an amazing 25 degrees in London, bright blue skies – I was shivering and so I sat in foil blankets in my sweatsuit munching on crisps, a sandwich and drinking a beer. Slowly coming back to life.
I am going to end this race report here – there are so many reflections to be made and so many thoughts I have had since – but that’s for another post and a bit more time. For now – this is what happened.
And before you say anything – I am thrilled. Yes I pushed it too hard. Yes I did not fuel correctly during the race. Maybe, if I had slept better and hadn’t peed, I could have done a BQ. But I know that, for the first time in my life and given life’s uncontrollables, I gave this race absolutely everything I could possibly have given it. There was NOTHING left in the tank. Nothing. And so I am thrilled. That BQ will come one day. But for now, I am my own champion. For all the times where I feel I mess up – and believe me, these moments come thick and fast – this time I didn’t. I did the absolute best I could do. And that is a fantastic feeling.
In the beginning there was insomnia. Saturday night to be precise. And the day had started so well! My wonderful sister-in-law took my energetic 6 year old out all day. I resisted all tempations to go and meet friends for lunch in London and instead, after a brief 1.6 mile loosener in the early hours, I sat on my bed and watched the Wire. I had a brief nap, and sipped some more water and ate some more carbohydrates. Evening came and then night. I fell asleep for 30 mins but when I woke at 10pm and that was it. I was wide awake. The adrenalin was coursing through my veins and I just could not sleep. This never happens to me - when I do suffer from insomnia it takes the form of waking up at 4am and worrying. This was not sleeping. Midnight came. 1 o'clock. 2 o'clock. I was tossing and turning trying every trick I knew and still - ping! - my eyelids shot open. I must have fallen asleep, finally, after 2. The alarm woke me at 5:30 and I was wide awake. At this point I felt no ill effect from my broken night and I was jangling with nerves. After my prerace breakfast (granola, banana, honey and yoghurt) I woke up my husband - who I had kept awake with my tossing and turning - and he drove me to Charing Cross station (and he sort of kinda woke up and defrosted enough to wish me good luck) where I caught the first train out to Maze Hill. In the past years trains have been cancelled and broken down, leaving runners to walk 2M to the start, so I was taking no chances. This train was still fairly empty and finding our way to the start in was easy. I saw the 10 rhino costumes from some way away and whiled away the hours before the race chatting to other rhino runners, particularly Kenneth, who had run the Atacama desert race and the Marathon des Sables, both in a rhino costume. We talked about race strategy and he told me that Mike Gratton, a former winner of the London marathon and now a more mature, pot-bellied superfast runner and coach, had told him that all this "holding back until the half-marathon point was nonsense – the beginning is when you feel strong and you should just go for it”. Fateful words? Perhaps.
I have not been totally honest with anyone really about what my race strategy was before the race. Not with you all on my blog – because I knew the wiser among you would advise against it. Not to my running friends because, well, the wiser would counsel against what I was intending. My strategy, of course, was to see how fast I could go. I knew I had got faster, I knew that I could get within shouting distance of a BQ. I knew that, if everything went my way, I might even get my BQ. And dammit – I wanted to know how fast I could run.
So after the usual queueing for loos and lining up at the start I crossed the line fairly quickly and – stopped for a potty break within the first mile. Mindful of all the notices warning against soiling public property I wasted a good minute (believe me, this minute will haunt me) waiting for a portapotty. But after that – well I went off like a bat out of hell. I just ran fast. I had been given a good starting pen so there wasn’t too much weaving about – most people were sort of at my speed – but I realized pretty quickly that my Garmin was slightly off the mile markers. Nonetheless Miles 1 – 11 flew by (quick Garmin splits – 9:51 (damn that potty!), 8:02, 8:03, 7:41, 8:17, 8:11, 8:17, 8:16, 8:16, 8:21, 8:23). The bit I dreaded – around the Cutty Sark – was congested but not to0 bad and I emerged across Tower Bridge and headed for the halfway point. Mile 12 went by in 8:18, mile 13 in 8:26 and passing the halfway point I realized I had broken my PR in the half marathon (which I set in March of this year). Now when I ran that half mary I was disappointed because I knew I could go faster but I did not intend to PR in the full. I knew that I was going too fast if I was doing this. But by this stage it had got hot, I was in the full sun and I all I could think was “well if I blow out I blow out. I’m going to stretch this out as long as I can". And I did. All through the hot sunny bits of East London I powered ahead, barely looking around me, grabbing water and popping Enduralytes and managing to wedge down one gel. Mile 14 8:25, mile 15 8:28, Mile 16 7:46, Mile 17 8:45, mile 18 8:42, mile 19 8:57, mile 20 8:32. By this stage I had finished the long quieter bit out to the East of London back and was beginning to roar along the Thames embankment where the crowds were 10 deep and roaring out my name. I was panting, counting to a 100. I could hear people shouting out my name but, unlike other races I did not reach out and thank people. I just went on, gasping for the mile markers. I kept checking my pace band and I was still on course for the 3:45. Mile 21 8:19, mile 22 8:33, mile 23 8:36, mile 24 8:19, mile 25 7:54 and then.
Then it was over. As I rounded the corner at the House of Parliament I noted, to my surprise, that everyone was suddenly overtaking me. And then I realized this was because I had gone into slow motion. My legs had completely seized up. I had felt bits of cramp earlier on, and had even pulled over to get a spectator to open my little case (because I couldn’t manage it) to get out some Enduralytes. But this was it. And just as close as it came, I could feel my BQ going away. And the real struggle began. I staggered up Birdcage Walk, barely able to think from the effort of moving ahead. At this stage I was pumping my arms hard just to move. I fell, and it was relief not to be running, but I willed myself up and back on my feet again. And then I fell again and I could not get up – my legs were sticking out straight and shaking. The ambulance people shot up to me and I screamed at them (I was primal at this stage people, not my normal polite self) to ask them to get me up. They said they would put me on a stretcher. “Not now” I thought, “not after all this effort”. I screamed to the crowds, piled up deeply behind the barriers, to jump over and help me. Two men did immediately – defying the police who I could hear shouting at them to get back behind the barriers – and then I shouted at the crowds again “Help me to get going”. And they roared my name. “GO PETRA GO”. And so off I limped. I remember seeing the 600M to go sign and thinking “I can’t do this” but I staggered on and on and finally I crossed the finish. 3:47:17. 2 minutes and 17 seconds off a BQ and an automatic good for age entry to London 2010 (clarification - I was 2 mins and 17 seconds off an automatic entry. No automatic entry for me). . But 25 minutes ahead of my previous personal record, and about 70 minutes ahead of my first marathon.
I staggered to the luggage area, asking everyone for bottles of water and drinking them as soon as I could. I told myself I could not stop till I got to the Save the Rhino area and I must have looked like a zombie wandering around until I found it. But then I did and it was like coming home. I was embraced and led to a massage table where people took off my shoes and worked on me for half an hour until my legs had stopped shaking. Despite the heat – by this stage it was an amazing 25 degrees in London, bright blue skies – I was shivering and so I sat in foil blankets in my sweatsuit munching on crisps, a sandwich and drinking a beer. Slowly coming back to life.
I am going to end this race report here – there are so many reflections to be made and so many thoughts I have had since – but that’s for another post and a bit more time. For now – this is what happened.
And before you say anything – I am thrilled. Yes I pushed it too hard. Yes I did not fuel correctly during the race. Maybe, if I had slept better and hadn’t peed, I could have done a BQ. But I know that, for the first time in my life and given life’s uncontrollables, I gave this race absolutely everything I could possibly have given it. There was NOTHING left in the tank. Nothing. And so I am thrilled. That BQ will come one day. But for now, I am my own champion. For all the times where I feel I mess up – and believe me, these moments come thick and fast – this time I didn’t. I did the absolute best I could do. And that is a fantastic feeling.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
A quick update
A quick update on the day before the race:
- Met Drusy at the expo yesterday. Can't post the photo as I left the cable for my camera at home but she is wonderful and despite the slight "blind date" fear just before we met we got on like a house on fire. Can't wait to get to know her better at the Swift Half in 4 weeks.
- For the first time ever, I have taken it easy the day before the race. My wonderful sister-in-law has taken my son off to explore London, my husband is attending a wedding (I declined on the basis that I was running tomorrow) and I have done some very brief errands and have been at my sister-in-law's house, sipping water and gently carboloading, all day. I even had a nap! So far, so good. Slightly eerie watching DVDs in the daytime though - I think it's been a good 15 years since I last did that..
- And there is online tracking - you can track me here if you type in my race number 43789.
Friday, April 24, 2009
T-2 days
In 48 hours I will have had my granola, banana and yoghurt and black coffee. I will probably be agitating Adam to get in the car ALREADY and drive me to a tube station so I can begin to make my way to the start of the London marathon.
It's here. We are setting off for London this morning. I'm meeting Dawn - who is nervous and excited at running her first marathon - for lunch and we are then heading out to ExCel (where the G20 met not long ago) where the expo is and we can pick up our race numbers. I'm hoping to meet up with Drusy there this afternoon and generally spend an afternoon in running geek heaven.. Then it's back to my sister-in-law Sarah's for a an early pasta supper, and bed. Tomorrow I am aiming to stay off my feet as much as it's possible with a 6 year old in tow - Sarah has promised to take him off for a while, I might meet a friend for lunch and then we might head to a cinema or something like that. Early night - again. I hope.
And then Sunday morning. London is a large and VERY spread out city and the London marathon starts miles away from where I'm staying. I'm going to have to make way across town from Notting Hill to Greenwich where I've been drafted in the red start. I'm leaving plenty of time - last year the Docklands Light Railway (the only public transport out to the start) broke down and 1000s of runners had to walk the final miles... And then, hopefully, it's the usual nervous queueing for loos and standing around in bin bags, nerves on end until the start at 9:45. To my great surprise and disappointment it does not appear to be possible to follow me live on the internet - one of the sponsors, Adidas, is offering mobile phone tracking on their (crappy) website if you type in my race number 43789. Whether it works with foreign cellphones is anyone's guess... As soon as I can, after the race, I will update my FaceBook status with my time and try to post a very quick post on this site with my time.
And how do I feel? Well - very nervous. It's been a very very busy 2 weeks. After a week of holidaying in Wales with the family where the times were good - great even - but the running was so-so I came back last Friday with some trepidation.
Although I had decided to cut down on Pfitz's mileage I was trying to keep up the speedwork but he had prescribed 3 x 1M repeats at 5K pace in a workout which I had tried and failed at twice during my break. I erred on the side of caution and spent the rest of my break relaxing and not running too much. Saturday morning I woke up at 6, however, knowing I just HAD to get those fast miles in to feel confident. And I did it - I nailed them at a 7:40 pace. I then put the brakes on myself completely - ran a slow 9 miler on Sunday instead of his prescribed 12 miler and for the rest of this week I've been very conservative. 4M on Tuesday and then 5M on Wednesday where I was intending to run 2 at race pace, just to see if I had it. And did I have it. Boy - I was like a champagne bottle uncorked. I really slammed on the brakes but I still ran every mile under 9 minute miles and felt strong. Yesterday was an easy 4 and then I'll run 3M tomorrow morning just to loosen and relax.
I am much more nervous than I have been in a while for a race. I know that I have improved a lot and I am nervous because I hope that I can pull it all out of the hat on the day. As far as my race strategy goes I am going to be somewhat flexible - I hope - because I don't know which pen I'm lined up in yet and I'm anticipating the first miles to be slow with the crowds. However. My goal - for this marathon - is to come in under 4. That is my goal. My PB is just over 4:12 so that would be a great improvement. I am fairly confident that, barring any unforeseen crises, I can do that. In terms of racing strategy I think I am going to pace myself for a 3:52 race. After 5 miles or so I will know how realistic this goal is and I am trusting in myself to be sensible. If anything, I have gone out too slow in the past and I want to avoid that. My recent 20 miler would give me a 3:55 ish finish - I would be VERY happy with that. We shall see.
Finally. As some of you know I have once again been given a race place in this wonderful marathon by Save the Rhino International. I have been reticent to ask for your support of their work because you have all given so much already and I know that these are very much straightened times for everyone. However, this past week I was sent an update on the situation in Zimbabwe. The humanitarian crisis there is, as you may know, very very severe. Perhaps as a result of this, the rhino population is suffering enormously from poaching. Save the Rhino International, in partnership with International Rhino Foundation, has launched an appeal in order to increase awareness of the threats facing Zimbabwe's rhinos and to raise much-needed funds.Poaching of both black and white rhinos in Zimbabwe has more than doubled in the last year. The rhinos are targeted by organised and armed poaching gangs for their horn, which is then sold on the black market. Over 100 Critically Endangered black rhinos have been killed by poachers in the Lowveld since 2000: 40 of these in 2008 alone, 18 black rhinos so far in 2009. One of the many side-effects of this increase in poaching has been the rise in the number of orphaned, and sometimes injured, rhino calves that must be treated and rehabilitated. If any of you have 5 or 10 dollars, pounds or euros to spare please consider donating them to Save the Rhino today. You can do so at my fundraising site and find out more about Save the Rhino's incredible work at www.savetherhino.org. For those of you have already made a donation - thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Finally, finally. My best friend Dawn is running Sunday's marathon. It's her first marathon and I just wanted to give her a massive shoutout. Her achievement to just get to this point is incredible. She is the mother of 3 wonderful boys, the youngest of whom is 2, and has trained very hard despite very limited time. She has also raised an enormous amount of money for a very worthwhile cause, Children with Leukemia. She is an inspiring person, an incredible runner and the best friend a girl could ask for. Send her your happy thoughts on Sunday!
And finally, finally, finally. Thank you all for your support in the course of this training program. Without you, and particularly Maritza, Aron and Jen, I would never have started on the Pfitz. Everyone has been supportive and helpful and you have all given me the most enormous sense of community and friendship. I will be thinking of all of you on Sunday morning as I line up and hope everyone has a good weekend's running.
It's here. We are setting off for London this morning. I'm meeting Dawn - who is nervous and excited at running her first marathon - for lunch and we are then heading out to ExCel (where the G20 met not long ago) where the expo is and we can pick up our race numbers. I'm hoping to meet up with Drusy there this afternoon and generally spend an afternoon in running geek heaven.. Then it's back to my sister-in-law Sarah's for a an early pasta supper, and bed. Tomorrow I am aiming to stay off my feet as much as it's possible with a 6 year old in tow - Sarah has promised to take him off for a while, I might meet a friend for lunch and then we might head to a cinema or something like that. Early night - again. I hope.
And then Sunday morning. London is a large and VERY spread out city and the London marathon starts miles away from where I'm staying. I'm going to have to make way across town from Notting Hill to Greenwich where I've been drafted in the red start. I'm leaving plenty of time - last year the Docklands Light Railway (the only public transport out to the start) broke down and 1000s of runners had to walk the final miles... And then, hopefully, it's the usual nervous queueing for loos and standing around in bin bags, nerves on end until the start at 9:45. To my great surprise and disappointment it does not appear to be possible to follow me live on the internet - one of the sponsors, Adidas, is offering mobile phone tracking on their (crappy) website if you type in my race number 43789. Whether it works with foreign cellphones is anyone's guess... As soon as I can, after the race, I will update my FaceBook status with my time and try to post a very quick post on this site with my time.
And how do I feel? Well - very nervous. It's been a very very busy 2 weeks. After a week of holidaying in Wales with the family where the times were good - great even - but the running was so-so I came back last Friday with some trepidation.
Although I had decided to cut down on Pfitz's mileage I was trying to keep up the speedwork but he had prescribed 3 x 1M repeats at 5K pace in a workout which I had tried and failed at twice during my break. I erred on the side of caution and spent the rest of my break relaxing and not running too much. Saturday morning I woke up at 6, however, knowing I just HAD to get those fast miles in to feel confident. And I did it - I nailed them at a 7:40 pace. I then put the brakes on myself completely - ran a slow 9 miler on Sunday instead of his prescribed 12 miler and for the rest of this week I've been very conservative. 4M on Tuesday and then 5M on Wednesday where I was intending to run 2 at race pace, just to see if I had it. And did I have it. Boy - I was like a champagne bottle uncorked. I really slammed on the brakes but I still ran every mile under 9 minute miles and felt strong. Yesterday was an easy 4 and then I'll run 3M tomorrow morning just to loosen and relax.
I am much more nervous than I have been in a while for a race. I know that I have improved a lot and I am nervous because I hope that I can pull it all out of the hat on the day. As far as my race strategy goes I am going to be somewhat flexible - I hope - because I don't know which pen I'm lined up in yet and I'm anticipating the first miles to be slow with the crowds. However. My goal - for this marathon - is to come in under 4. That is my goal. My PB is just over 4:12 so that would be a great improvement. I am fairly confident that, barring any unforeseen crises, I can do that. In terms of racing strategy I think I am going to pace myself for a 3:52 race. After 5 miles or so I will know how realistic this goal is and I am trusting in myself to be sensible. If anything, I have gone out too slow in the past and I want to avoid that. My recent 20 miler would give me a 3:55 ish finish - I would be VERY happy with that. We shall see.
Finally. As some of you know I have once again been given a race place in this wonderful marathon by Save the Rhino International. I have been reticent to ask for your support of their work because you have all given so much already and I know that these are very much straightened times for everyone. However, this past week I was sent an update on the situation in Zimbabwe. The humanitarian crisis there is, as you may know, very very severe. Perhaps as a result of this, the rhino population is suffering enormously from poaching. Save the Rhino International, in partnership with International Rhino Foundation, has launched an appeal in order to increase awareness of the threats facing Zimbabwe's rhinos and to raise much-needed funds.Poaching of both black and white rhinos in Zimbabwe has more than doubled in the last year. The rhinos are targeted by organised and armed poaching gangs for their horn, which is then sold on the black market. Over 100 Critically Endangered black rhinos have been killed by poachers in the Lowveld since 2000: 40 of these in 2008 alone, 18 black rhinos so far in 2009. One of the many side-effects of this increase in poaching has been the rise in the number of orphaned, and sometimes injured, rhino calves that must be treated and rehabilitated. If any of you have 5 or 10 dollars, pounds or euros to spare please consider donating them to Save the Rhino today. You can do so at my fundraising site and find out more about Save the Rhino's incredible work at www.savetherhino.org. For those of you have already made a donation - thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Finally, finally. My best friend Dawn is running Sunday's marathon. It's her first marathon and I just wanted to give her a massive shoutout. Her achievement to just get to this point is incredible. She is the mother of 3 wonderful boys, the youngest of whom is 2, and has trained very hard despite very limited time. She has also raised an enormous amount of money for a very worthwhile cause, Children with Leukemia. She is an inspiring person, an incredible runner and the best friend a girl could ask for. Send her your happy thoughts on Sunday!
And finally, finally, finally. Thank you all for your support in the course of this training program. Without you, and particularly Maritza, Aron and Jen, I would never have started on the Pfitz. Everyone has been supportive and helpful and you have all given me the most enormous sense of community and friendship. I will be thinking of all of you on Sunday morning as I line up and hope everyone has a good weekend's running.
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