Stabbed Clean Through The Heart

We decided to stab our house in the heart.

It was a conscious decision. Really.

But we did kill it.

Like every house, the heart is the kitchen. Our house's heart had reached its max number of miles quite some time ago, but for so long, we couldn't bring ourselves to do a heart transplant.

We finally faced it, and started this past Thursday.

We just said, "House, we are going to stab you in the heart. It will kill you, but don't worry. We'll bring you back to life. Really. Pinky promise."

We tried to make our voices sound like we really believed ourselves, but House wasn't buying it. He was understandably nervous. I mean, who really wants to be killed, and just trust that you'll be brought back to life? We didn't give House much time to think about it and get more nervous. We chose to do a quick strike. Like pulling off a band-aid.

House recoiled when he saw us coming after him with this beastie.


And now our House's heart is laying on the operating table. Or, as we like to call it, the Living Room.


We've found that The Heart has a REALLY hard time beating when it's in this condition. All members of the house are greatly feeling the lack of The Heart. And the Living Room.

And in The Heart's place is a gaping hole.


House is out for the count, and can't really tell us how he's feeling, but we are guessing it's not too good and getting worse by the moment. And that's why we're hurrying. Wish us luck.

Vegas in Pictures, Baby!

Lance and I had our 18th anniversary last week. Eighteen! (Which is weird, because I swear I'm still 27. Yet I also swear that I didn't get married at age 9. I can't seem to work out the inconsistency...)

Anyway, we figured that since our marriage was now an adult, we should head to Vegas for our anniversary! I'm not quite sure when we last went on a trip without kids, but I do know that it was sometime before Alecia was born. And she is 8.

Since I couldn't physically take y'all with me, I'll take you there with me virtually.

But before I do, I wanted to share a picture. The last time we went to Vegas was 15 years ago, when we got this picture taken at the Excalibur. I had to laugh when one of my kids, when they were 4 or 5 saw the picture and said, "I didn't know you and dad used to be a king and queen!" Yep, kids. We'd tried keeping that a secret, but it looks like you got us.

Now, on with the tour!

Here's some things you'll see OUTSIDE at Vegas:

Buildings that are covered in Gold. It shines like the sun.


What is, I'm sure, the world's biggest Walgreens. Especially when you consider all the floors that they are in the middle of building that you can barely see in the picture.
(Okay, so it's possible that the entire building isn't all a Walgreens in real life, but in my mind, it is.)


Avatars.


Elvises. (Or is the plural of Elvis Elvi?)


Waterfalls in the desert.


A massive Coke bottle. You can't actually drink it, but it can give you a little lift. Hehe. There's an elevator inside that thing!



Gigantic motorcycles crashing out of buildings. Luckily, we didn't run into its driver while we were there. We stayed out of this building just in case.


Gigantic television screens. Maybe "gigantic" isn't a big enough word. Seriously. Look at the size of the people on that walkway! I looked at that screen and dreamily thought, "Wouldn't it be so much cooler if they were showing Glee or Buffy on that screen instead of what they were actually showing?"


Pirate ships that float down the.... um in this context, I'm going for "moat," to attack another ship.


The Eiffel Tower.


New York! Surrounded by a roller coaster.


An exploding volcano!


A castle.


I'm going to file this one under Things You WON'T See in Vegas:


Seriously. With all the technology they have in the city, you'd think they wouldn't have missed this one.

And now, for some things Vegas has INSIDE their buildings:

Light fixtures as big as my entire living room.


Indoor waterfalls. Heavy on the water rainbows.


A giant sphinx.


A massive obelisk. You're supposed to carve your name in this as you pass, right? I sure hope so, or boy do I have egg on my face.


Water fountains.


But Vegas DOESN'T have this in their buildings:

And, dang. Apparently my pneumonia wasn't gone nearly enough for this!


On the Home Front

And now for a moment to reflect on what was going on back home while we were gone. My sweet sister was watching my kids for part of the time, and she got sick. I'm talking the mother-of-all-24-hour-flus kind of sick. I-think-I-might-die sick. She reports that my kids did a great job of taking care of her, and in some cases, entertained her.

As she was lying in bed unable to move a muscle, including eyelids, this is what would transpire every few minutes.

Kid A: Pitter patter, pitter patter, as they run down the hall, then silence as they stand in her doorway. Pitter patter, pitter patter, as they run back to the family room.

Kid B: "Is she dead?"

Kid A: "No. She's just sleeping."

Kid C: "Oh, good."

No doubt about it. My kids are all going to be health care professionals when they grow up.

Everything in Vegas Glitters!

Even Denny's.


And Mickey D's.



And even M&Ms!


The Strip is so darn colorful. As long as you don't look too closely, it makes you all kinds of happy. Almost like it's a wonderland made of candy.



It takes a massive field full of power lines for sparklies like that!


The Gambling:

We gambled a little. And by "we," I mean Lance. This is my philosophy on gambling.

You know those machines chuck full of stuffed animals with the crane, and you put money in and guide the crane to pull out a stuffed animal? My kids were drawn to those like magnets when they were littler.

(And just for a visual, here's a crane the likes of which they'd only have in Vegas.)


I explained to my kids that the owners of those machines put in stuffed animals that are too big for the crane to lift, and pack them in so tight that the crane would never be able to pull them loose. They just want you to give them your money. My kids now look at those machines like they are evil, and I just smile, knowing that I've taught them one of life's greatest lessons.

I feel the same way about gambling. They just want you to give them your money. And they'll happily take it from you and build all those cool things in the pictures above.

Lance has fun with it. So, we went to a Roulette table, and I fretted and twisted my fingers while Lance played $20. When that $20 looked like it was going to disappear, then just as quickly turned into $149, I said, "Come on. We have to go now. Really. Now, now, now. Run!" And then we high-tailed it out of there. Almost like they were going to come up and take it from us. Because you know the devil lives there.

No, really.

I was wondering. And then we were walking down the street on a Saturday night, and I heard music booming in the distance. Not happy music, either. And then there were hordes of people on the street corners passing out cards for a.... "service" that I'm pretty sure is illegal in all fifty states and territories of the U.S. There were more and more of these card passer-outers as we got closer to this building.

Yep. That's right. It's not the best picture, but as you can see by its title, it's the devil's house. He lives right on the strip.


We got to see a few shows while we were there. The first was the Tournament of Kings. It was a dinner show in the basement of the Excalibur, and despite the smell of horses, it arguably had the cleanest air in the entire establishment.


It was fun! Each section cheered for their knight. Ours was the evil Dragon Knight.


Here's a little clip for your viewing enjoyment:



We got suckered into going to a presentation that was much longer than we anticipated (mostly because it was much longer than they told us to anticipate), and was rewarded with Lion King tickets!

It was okay. The costumes and the set were FABULOUS. Really creative and cool. But the musical itself... Well, it was pretty much exactly, word for word, like the movie. Even the inflections in their voices were the same. So it was basically seeing the movie live. Cool, definitely. But not the $240-it-would-have-cost-us kind of cool.





Then we saw a Cirque Du Soleil show, Mystere. And holy cow if it wasn't the coolest thing I ever did see, I'm not sure what is. Seriously worth every penny. Holy cow. I think I watched the entire thing with my jaw dropped. It was beyond amazing. I would jump on going to this show over and over again, and you should too, if you ever get the chance.


Here's a 30 second clip of the incredibleness:



Lance and I wanted a 2010 version of the king and queen picture we got 15 years ago, so we went to the spot at the Excalibur, and it had been replaced with a laser maze! Darn technology. So, on our last night in Vegas, which just happened to fall ON our anniversary, we got this picture taken of us at the Mystere show.


All in all, it was a fabulous vacation, and Lance and I really enjoyed spending the three days together. There were many times that I thought "Dang! I wish my kids were here to see this!" and then I'd look to the right or the left and think "Dang. I'm glad my kids aren't here to see this." As much as I hate going somewhere cool and thinking how much I wish my kids were experiencing it with me, it turns out that a vacation now and then with just your spouse is a thing of beauty.

Tough Waters

In the mail, I got Kyle's last report card of the year from his first year in junior high.

If you don't know from having a junior high-aged kid, I'm sure you remember from going yourself--- those junior high waters can be cold. Ice cold.


With tsunami-sized waves.


And they're infested with sharks.


And, as a parent, you only get a small moment to stick your big toe in to test those waters before some invisible force shoves you in at the deep end.

I'm glad that my first time in those waters was with Kyle. He, for the most part, comes with a water warming, wave calming, shark repelling personality. And as I look back on his report card, wanna know what I'm most glad about?

That he got a great grade in the class he hated and wanted to drop before the first term was even over, but decided to stick it out?

Nope.

That class where he was getting a "below his capability" grade that he pulled up to an A?

Naw.

That class that was so freaking hard for him, but he fought and fought and fought and finally prevailed fabulously?

Nada.

No--- The one that made me cheer the most?

It was the 108% in Creative Writing.

Yeah, baby.

108%.

In Creative Writing.

That's my boy.

It's not really that much, after all

So I told my kids about the books in the home / tendency to go to college thing that I talked about in my last post. When they heard the "500 books," my son said, "Dang. We're not going to college."

(Not that you need 500 books or anything-- the study said that any amount over 20 books makes a difference.)

But he probably had the same mental picture I did when I heard 500 books. Maybe you did, too. And it was something like this:


You know--- one wall of my family room entirely filled with books. But the funny thing about books is... They are everywhere! No, really. There probably isn't a room in your house that doesn't have a book in it. Unless you are way more organized than me.

So, I got curious and set about counting.

This bookshelf is in Alecia's room. It has 59 books in it. Even if it doesn't look like it.


This bookshelf is in Cory's room, and has tons and tons of really thin books. And some doubling up on that bottom shelf. It has 336 books in it!!


This is in Kyle's room. It isn't technically a bookshelf. Okay, technically it's the stairs that led up to the top bunk bed when we used bunk beds. Works great as a bookshelf, though. It has 45 books on it.


And right next to it is the actual bookshelf. It has 86 books in it.


And this is in our family room. It is double, and in some places, triple stacked. Clearly, we need a new bookshelf. Especially since there are a few off to the side that don't even have an actual spot. These are the big ones. Some are 1200 pages long! Yes, Lance tends to love EPICS. There are 94 on this shelf.


Add that to the 51 we have strewn about the house on nightstands, in baskets, on desks, in bags, and in some cases, on the floor, it comes to a grand total of...

(drumroll, please)

671 books!!!

So, see? It's really not that hard at all to have a ton of books. And having over 20? Pfft. Piece of cake.

Which means, it's really not that hard to get your kids to go to college, right? :)

You probably have WAY more books than you thought you had. Go count! It'll make you feel better all over. Give you a little high. It'll get you through those "Dang. My kid is in bed asleep, and that means another day went by without me remembering to have them read to me" moments.

Put how many books you THINK you have in the comments. Then if you decide to actually count them, come back and tell us how many! Then we can all be happy with you for the fact that your kids are college bound.

Scientific Proof

A 20 year study conducted in 27 countries was just completed, and that study makes me more than a little giddy. 'Cuz that's a huge study, right? Massive.

The study found that the number of books in a family's home
has a greater determining factor on how much education a child will get
than anything else.

Anything!


Before this study, scientists believed that the education level of the parents was the greatest determining factor. But get this: having books in the home is twice as important as the father’s education level.

It's more important than what country the child was born in.
It's more important than the father's occupation.
It's more important than the country's political system. Or its gross domestic product.

The study found that, “Having as few as 20 books in the home still has a significant impact on propelling a child to a higher level of education, and the more books you add, the greater the benefit.”

And, if having a 500 book library in your home versus having no books is the same as the parents having a university education versus having a 2nd grade education. Can you even believe that?


This makes me happy for a few reasons:

1. Yay! Another reason to buy books! I really like buying books.
2. Although Lance has a university education, I still have to mark the "some college" option on forms. A little bit of me dies each time I do. At least now I know that as far as my kids are concerned, books will make up for it!
3. No matter how frustrating/difficult/long/discouraging/impossible the climb is, I plan to be a published author. When that day comes, I can tell parents, "Buy your kid my book and they'll go to college!"