Older, but not much taller

Okay. So Zihui finally uploaded the photos she took of my 17th birthday.

Emphasis here on 17th birthday.










Means I'm SEVENTEEN years old.










Means old enough to drive.







Yeah, like an ADULT.

So I should LOOK like one, shouldn't I?

So I was browsing through her MSN Spaces photo page, which you could only view photos one by one, and not all of them as thumbnails (maybe can but I dunno only).

So I was clicking 'next', then 'next', then 'next'....

And suddenly I came upon this photo.
















It is of Li-Ann and I, obviously.

Now, I wasn't feeling very well when I was going through the photos, 'cause I was tired from my walk from school to LRT station and all, and I also had a bad headache.

But this photo cheered me up considerably!

You see, Li-Ann and I are supposed to be of the same height. Our heights are the one thing we've been rivaling each other at since Form 2.

Look at the photo again! See, Li-Ann is tip-toeing-stretching-up to take photo with me! And I don't even have to TRY to be taller than her! SEE, no effort at all!
(Click on it and you'd get a much larger image, and you'd see what I mean! Hahahahahah!)

And today, Aaron told me I am of average height, just like other normal girls.

I was very happy, 'cause when my mom and friends say I'm short, I can say, "I AM NOT!"







But then, I clicked 'next' and just HAD to see this photo...



















Michelle isn't that tall also. Why'd she have to hunch like that? =(





Most deppressing photo of the bunch, however, was this.









He was the only one I remembered to tip-toe while taking photo with, so I was obviously assuming that I would more or less be of the same height as him. Or at least, not so short.

Imagine my horror! I mean, I was on tip-toes, dammit!



Honestly, it is very deppressing.

But nevermind. I have consolation; I am taller than Li-Ann! (Eh Ann kididng ah! I am not that happy.)





Perhaps one day, I will grow very tall. I mean, I'm not 21 yet. That's the age where you stop growing, right?

Because if it isn't, and if this is the maximum height that I'll ever reach, imagine what'll happen when I turn 60 and start shrinking.

People on the streets would knock into me by accident, turn to their friends and go, "Eh, just now I knocked into something, leg damn pain, but I dunno what it is. Cannot see wan. Damn scared!"





Bah. Whatever.


Here, just for the fun of it. Group, minue one, photo.

Did I mention, I was secretly glad I didn't leave anything embarrassing around the house that day?

One time I was dealing with the laundry, and I dropped my undies on the stairs, and didn't realize until much later. That would've been embarrassing.
















So chio, so kawaii nye!

Speaking of photos, did I mention, I got a new Digital VideoCam! It's for my birthday.

Woot!

Love songs

I Knew I Loved You (Savage Garden)

Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
And there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion
And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I've found my way home

I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I've found you

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
-----

Lately I've been listening to a lot of love songs. With the obvious reason being that love songs are so lovely.

I Knew I Loved You has got to be THE best love song evar! Not a day has gone by this year without me listening to it at least 3 times a day.

It's really weird so many people have not heard of it, for example, the people who sit surrounding me in class, because I honestly thought it was like Backstreet Boy's I Want It That Way - everybody everywhere can sing along to it!

It's a really romantic idea, isn't it, that someone somewhere dreamed you into life. Like, he is the reason for your very existance. Like, 1+1=2, as opposed to 1+1=1.5 when you're with some other guy - it just makes you complete.

Gah, I have the shivers thinking about it! Such an awesome song.

Another nice love kind of song is Student Rick's Falling For You. It isn't the kind of love song that melts you from the insides, instead it's kind of like the 'simple teenage crush' kind of song.

"Falling for you, I fell for you.
I'm dying to explain my heart to you now,
there's so much on my mind it's tearin' me apart!"

Nice also!

If you're wondering, no I'm not in love blablabla and I don't wanna marry blablabla.

I just like love songs.

Not-worth-it cellphone trinkets

I bought that statue with a dick that flashes everytime you recieve a call/sms, that you hang onto your cellphone, only 3 days ago.

For 10 omg-so-expensive Ringgit. Because it's pretty small.

And today, someone tells me it can be bought for only 5 omg-so-cheap Ringgit. And, he says it only lasts a month before the flashing dick dies out.

Now I wished I spent the money on movie tickets or something.

Anyway. Pn. Ang is always telling us how awesome the Chinese language is.

But I still never liked double-period Chinese, and in fact dislike them even more than double-period Physics.

But this guy has a point.

中文对你身体有益

Some people I know would probably never read chinese texts when online, because the squinting-and-deciphering is just too much work, but I've got to say, this post is worth it.

And even if you don't feel inspired to start paying attention in Pn. Ang's class after reading it, at least you would've had a good laugh.

Because RamboTan is just so funny.

All you people who only read KennySia and XiaXue... go read RamboTan, now!

Cowboy Up!

One third of me admire them for being so open in such a public kind of thing, another third of me wonders why they would want to expose themselves like this, and the last 1/3 of me is aching to ask, why does everyone keep writing like that?

One person after the other. It's like a penyakit yang sedang merabak.

Especially when some of them are doing it so often.

It feels so.. something.. to be the Very Emo Kid, doesn't it?

Aww, c'mon. Life's too short to spend it this way. Need a cure for tears and the blues? I've got a foolproof way.

See that MSN display name? Click it, change it, quote any line from any of those feel-good songs, like Beautiful Day, or It's My Life.

Or, see that Blogger Post-It? Click it, type, write about something that's at least relatively cheerful. It helps take your mind off things, and better yet, it's like a reminder to yourself. Reminder to not sulk.

Background Chorus: "F+ck you Chooiyen! I am uber sad and Emo and you will never understand me! Nevah!!"

Look, all people go through things like that. Being falsely accussed by someone really dear, being confused about who you are and what people think of you, being one-minute-sad, one-minute-happy, one-minute-VERY-DEPRESSED over that Teenage Crush thing, feeling insecure about what people (or more specifically, your friends) think about you or if they really would "always be there", not being trusted by people YOU trust, wondering if you're being what's expected of you...

I'm beginning to sound lame, but point is, everyone has been through that at one point or another.

Background Chorus: "Surely you're not saying we cannot be sad because everyone has been sad before?"

I don't mean that, of course.

Happiness is there. You just need to Cowboy Up and get it.

"Cowboy Up", because the world ain't gonna stop and come to you, but you have to COWBOY UP and go get what you want. (Cowboys and lasso-ing stuff, see?)

I know that MSN display name method and that Blogger method may sound like just another name for the Lying To Oneself, Pretending Everything's Perfectly Fine method.

Well, maybe they are. But what the heck, it works anyway! So why question a fool-proof way to success?

I know it is foolproof, because it's tried and tested, by me. So if you see I've got an exceptionally gay-and-happy nickname on MSN, know that I'm either really exceptionally happy that day, or I'm having the blues.

It's probably the latter, but Fish It, who cares, I've got a sure-fire way to overcome it!

No longer depending on YOUR camera!

So, I'm finally REALLY going to get a new camera.

We've been looking at a few cameras, and singled out a couple.

One is the Sony Cyber-shot DSC-T7. You know, the ultra, ultra slim one. Just how slim is slim?

With a camera as awesome-looking as this, who cares about the image quality? The only problem would be the paranoia. Unavoidable, when you're holding cameras this delicate. My aunt almost insisted we got this, because it is possibly the best looking camera ever.

Even if I don't have the need to take photos, I'll still whip out my T7 anyway, because everybody will be so jealous of me. At least, everybody who doesn't own a T7.

But the T7 has another competitor!

Introducing, the Panasonic Lumix DMC-FX9.

It does't look as good as T7 (duh, T7 best looking mah), but it still looks awesome.

I love the fact that it has MEGA Optical Image Stabilizer. It is probably the most useful thing when it comes to cameras my friends and I have to use.

Know why?

Because we are not professional photographers, we do not produce sharp, proffessional shots. And, we take photos at the spur of the moment.

But the main reason is, we take a lot of self-portraits.

And by that I really mean we camwhore a lot.
("Eh come, come, take picture!" "EH! Take photo of me like this!" "EHH! Pose like this, then take picture!" )
And with a lot of the pictures we've taken, you could see the Hand at the side of the photos. That's 'cause it is the Hand of the photographee who's also doing the job of the photographer.

See, I told you people camwhore a lot.

With a lot of one-handed self-photo-taking, MEGA OIS is our saviour. Now we can have truly nice, sharp photos.

Besides, FX9 has been recomended for party go-ers, or for when you're taking photos at a gathering. Because everyone knows everybody would be too excited and having too much fun to really bother about proper focusing.

So yes, come to think of it, that's the camera for me. Nice!

Big dreams create the Magic

Lately, I've been going through a lot of stuff I've collected all these years, particularly the poems. Poems found on the net, poems I wrote myself, and poems written by people I know.

And I came accross this poem that I have not read in a very long time. But I remember it was my favourite poem when I was in Form1/2; I liked it so much, I've had it committed to memory, and I would recite whenever I felt like it. I even did it when I was in the toilet (dead serious!). Surprisingly, I could still recite the thing after all these years.

I didn't quite realize it at first, but I guess you could say, this was the poem that made the most of what I am now. Because it has given me a dream, and if nothing else, dreams are really what Makes you. And it's the greatest dream that I ever had.

What poem so Big-assedly Amazing woh?

Neh, this poem.


The Cold Within

Six men trapped in happenstance
In bleak and bitter cold.
Each one possessed a stick of wood,
Or so the story's told.

Their dying fire in need of logs,
The first man held his back
For of the faces around the fire,
He noticed one was black.

The next man looking cross the way
Saw one not of his church,
And couldn't bring himself to give
The fire his stick of birch.

The third man sat in tattered clothes;
He gave his coat a hitch.
Why should his log be put to use
To warm the idle rich?

The rich man just sat back and thought
Of the wealth he had in store.
And how to keep what he had earned
From the lazy, shiftless poor.

The black man's face bespoke revenge
As the fire passed from sight,
For all he saw in his stick of wood
Was a chance to spite the white.

And the last man of this forlorn group
Did naught except for gain.
Giving only to those who gave
Was how he played the game.

The logs held tight in death's still hands
Was proof of human sin.
They didn't die from the cold without,
They died from the cold within.


Tell me that's amazing. Don't tell me it isn't.

Perhaps we've been playing the role of the selfish rich man or the man who "does naught except for gain" a little too long.

We're not filthy rich, but we have enough money. And not everyone has enough money.

I remember there were times I was asked for donation from, and I'd donate RM10, and a second after it's too late, I'd feel the regret. "Wah, four times of this and I could buy CD liaw!" Nah, RM10 to me is a lot of money, simple as that.

By the way, when I mean donation, I'm not talking about Tan Lin's "Derma untuk sekolah. Derma untuk pusat sukan." I really meant donation for the really needy.

It was very selfish of me, to think like that. But you know what the saddest thing was? That RM10 was actually among the more 'generous' donations. Me, I feel the pinch when I get out that RM10, I don't deny it, it is my money after all, but I bite my tongue and give. I wish people could 'bite their toungues and give', too.

But sometimes, it isn't all about the money. I remember reading about how there are so many people in so many countries that do not have access to sanitized water. People drink from the same hole they go to clean themselves. They drink from the same place animals drink from and Do Business at.

Some countries have it worse. They don't even have a place to drink water from. Really young children have to walk hours just to arrive at the place where they can get water, and hours again just to get home. They've absolutely no time for school. Besides, they're too ill to concentrate in school; the water they get aren't even clean.

We could help them. With just a little money, WaterAid could build latrines and water points. I wrote to them, and they sent me a huge envolope, with FundRaising ideas and guides and Facts and General Resources, even a script for a play we could do to raise awareness among the people around us.

Gosh. Digressed slightly.

Main point was, a certain teacher of ours whom we presented the proposal of an 'awareness-and-fund raiser' to, didn't want to send the donation to them (Them, being countries as far away as, uh, Uganda.) She said it was better to send them to local charity centers.

I remember telling her at one point, that the people lacking sanitized water are more in need of the money. "A child dies every 15 seconds from water-related diseases."

But she somehow was adament that donating to organizations like WaterAid wasn't a good idea. And her argument being, "The handling of money to them would be too much of a hassle." At that point, all I felt like doing was put my hands up to my face and scream into them.

But I was in the bilik guru. So I didn't.

It was the most frustrating thing. These people are so in need of your donations, so that a water point could be built, so people wouldn't have to suffer illnesses and die. And with a little extra effort, you would be helping them a LOT more.

And what's a little extra effort when you're saving the lives of people who don't deserve to suffer in the first place?

OMGoodness, I've went way off the track. Gawd, I honestly hadn't planned on writing the above crap.

What I wanted to say was, coming accross that poem has only fed my, uh, desire to go after my one Big Dream. I love that poem. Back in Form 2, I'd sit on my bed and think about the poem and plan things that I would do, and it would be the most satisfying day-dreaming I'd have done. It was so awesome.

I haven't quite told you my Dream, have I? Haha. You'll just have to wait.

Here, I'll leave you with one quote I used to end my English oral presentation last year. (I was talking about charity and doing something about poverty, and perhaps it was getting boring, or perhaps it was because the recess bell was about to ring, but Manwir was looking at her watch instead of me. But I got the marks I wanted anyway.)

It is a powerful sentence, to me at least.

"No one needs to wait a single moment to make a difference.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world.
In fact, it is the only thing that ever has."

Hm. Make that three powerful sentences.

Interview with God

I've recently discovered an amazing site.

The link was sent to me through email by a friend, and perhaps you've recieved it too, but nevertheless, I'm sharing it with everybody because it is not the type of site you'd keep to yourself.

So L's and G's, The Interview With God.

I had the link up on MSN right next to my nickname, and someone came and told me he visited the site out of curiosity, because "God" can be such a controversial topic if not handled properly. He went on to say that he had expected a B-grade actor as a spoof of God.

Goodness me, he thought it was some ciplak joke site.

Lest you also go think like him, this is actually a site made with the purpose of inspiring others. (Aww. Now I've lost the interest of the Manly Man's. Nevermind, I have the Sentimental Ladies to keep me company.)

Anyway. As quoted, "The Interview With God, its popularity propelled by millions of visitors from all parts of the world, has become a spiritual phenomenon."
Some People have claimed that God has spoken to them through that presentation. (I personally don't fnd it that awesome, but then again I'm not Some People.)

My hands are aching to Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V a line or two from it, then I thought I wouldn't want to spoil your viewing pleasure, but then again I figured I pretty much don't care.

“To learn that a rich person
is not one who has the most,
but is one who needs the least.”

“To learn that there are people
who love them dearly,
but simply have not yet learned
how to express or show their feelings.”

But pay attention to the end, above all else. I shouldn't have to say why.

FYI, it isn't so much about the religious God as it is about inspiring us to lead a better, more contented life. Like, a Guide to Life.

I pretty much can shut up la, 'cause the link is posted up and you really should have already clicked it by now.

17, not 16!

I did try to post yesterday, but there was a stupid glitch in the server after I hit "Publish Post", which resulted in me losing everything I had typed.

So very Fishing frustrated.

And see how Blogger tries to redeem itself with that 'Recover post' thing? If there's "Error in Server", 'Recover post' also no use la!

What if I've typed a really really long post, including photos uploaded using Blogger and all, and I've even done up the entry in really rich fonts and colours, then I hit publish and lose everything?
I would personally go to Mr. Admin of Blogger and make him pay for all my trouble.

No matter. Guess what? I'm finally Old Enough!

I'm so Adult!

And I had an awesome birthday. It was made awesome by (who else?) the Big Heads.

Prior to my birthday, Fui told me not to expect so much. She said everything failed, because January was a difficult month. She even went:

"The least you expect, the better for us."
"......"
"No no! For you!"

Hah, that made me laugh.

Anyway, the utmost Love to you guys for having planned all this, and Thanks to the rest of you who came.

I guess I have to agree, the good parties are the ones you don't have to organize yourself, better are the ones that come as a surprise, and Best ones are when you've got all your bestest friends together with you.

I'll post photos up when I get them. I haven't gotten my mom to bring me go buy camera yet, so I pitifully have to rely on people like ZiHui and WenChuan.

And I thought the birthday canteen-mee lou-sang during recess was the climax. Haha.

My dad told me some of my friends asked him about me taking Driver's Ed while they were at my place and I was at school having house practice, and he said he told them I'd have to wait until after SPM.

But I've got news for you! I pretty much managed to persuade my parents into finally giving in! Unfortunately, unlike all my other January-birthday peers, I haven't taken the theory exam yet. Hopefully, I'll be taking it together with Nicole. We agreed to. Her birthday's on the 23rd of February, and her parents are pretty lenient. So yeah.

It is very very weird. Like a conflict within myself. One half of me so very much wants to grow up, be an Adult, which explains why I'm so eager to take Driver's Ed. The other half of me is very much afraid of growing up, and to leave behind all the fun that the teenage years are. It really does give me a sick feeling in the stomache. I look at my parents, and I know I never want to turn out to be like them. I don't want to go to work in the mornings, come home in the evening, arrange transport for my kids, worry about meals and money, and watch as my kids have all the fun of going to crazy teenage parties and experiencing teenage crushes and... have friends throw them parties. 'Cause then I will be jealous of my kids.

But no matter. I'm growing up anyway! And if Zi Hui stays true to her letter, and I stay true to the words I said to Lu, we would be growing up and growing old, together! I would make them Godmothers of my children. And if I name my children Charlotte Boy and Butt Bunny, it would be just like right now.

And it would be perfect.

LOVE, to you guys.

A bit of today

My night was spent saving photos into Pn. Tan's notebook for the slideshow tomorrow. And I was browsing through some of our photos, and I realize, DARN my friends are unfair!

I came accross a few photos, which I remember prior to taking the photo, all of us agreed to "act kawaii" or "lan yeng", until very ugly. So Chuan Ling and I memang go and act kawaii and lan yeng.

Problem is, only both of us posed like that. All the others leh, when say wanna purposely act ugly, they say okay, then.. their pictures all come out also sweet sweet smiles wan.

Especially the ones taken in Kim Chew's place.

I would post them up here, but Chuan Ling and I really look very stupid. I don't wanna throw my own face. But the others, all look very nice.

See what I mean?

Anyway, we did that Program Maju Diri thing at the Lecture Hall today. And I discovered a new job that sounds interesting.

A librettist. A person who writes a libretto. Which is "the text of a dramatic musical work, such as an opera or musical".

But then again, a close friend of mine would be quick to remind me that it doesn't pay much. Yeah, you don't get a lot of money from it.

Or as my mom so aptly put it, "Just enough to own a Proton Saga. Not Mercedes Benz."

cL's blog

Hey, have you guys noticed that new link I've added?

Yeah, the one to Chuan Ling's blog.

Adding new links isn't such a big deal to me, unless they are links to sites like Chuan Ling's. You guys have got to check it out.

If her old blog-city is an indication of how her new Blogger will be, it will be full of shit. But they are all FUNNY shit.

And if there's one thing I admire about her blogging, it is the fact that she blogs however and whatever she wants to. But that makes her posts LAME. That is also why none of her sentences are longer than 5 words. Because Chuan Ling is weird like that.

See, both Chuan Ling and Zi Hui are extremely proficient in mandarin, but spot the difference between both their blogs. One blogs about deep, tear-wrenching stuff in mandarin; the other blogs about, well, uber crap, in mandarin.

But both, you really gotta read. 'Cause they're both very nice.

Who's crazy over him? Not me!

I was out with my family today, to get some stuff before the sale ends. I happened to chance upon a VERY nice piece of fabric, which was black with little orange flower prints.

I was wondering what they were for, so I flipped it over here and there, turned it inside out, trying to figure out which part of the body it should be put on.

I was even about to put it on my head.

Then I saw it: "Toaster Cover - RM 19.90"

And here I thought it was a hat.

But before that. We had our car parked to the side of the road and we were all in it, waiting for my dad to pay for the parking. My sister shot out her hand out of the blue and slammed it into my cheek, turning my face away from her window. Apparently, some guy had his pants down and was peeing just outside of her door. (He was peeing onto the grass, not on our car door.)

My natural reaction? Push her hand away and stare at the guy. Eeww.

It reminded me of Eu Joe and his story of a guy who shitted (shat?) on the divider in the middle of the road.

Then, it reminded me of our sketch during camp presentation. There I was, in front of 500 people, doing Tai Chi in jeans. I later went into the ladies' room, and realized, OMGWTFBBQ my pant zip was down all the while!

Uber humiliation!

At least, I was wearing good undies that day.

Fortunately people wouldn't have noticed, because everyone was staring at Li-Ann's under-the-chin-fake-mole. But it is not fair; I also have under-the-chin-fake-mole, how come nobody stare at my fake mole?!

Anyway. Switch topic.

I'm starting to question who really is the craziest over JL.
Or, "Angel".. (hush-hush code name!)

Jenny, Li Jen, or LI-ANN?

I'm thinking, it's Li-Ann. Like, my goodness, see how she posted photos of him (and his house) up on her blog! Li-Ann, you're halfway to becoming a successful stalker!

But I kind of left something out. Did I mention that in camp 2004, girls actually lined up to get his autograph? Now that's something.

I can hardly imagine myself walking around on camp grounds, then suddenly boys I've never met before start lining up for my autograph, and few metres away another group is staring at me, then a lot more metres away an entire DORM full of boys are talking about me. I cannot imagine, mainly because I am not good looking, and I do not look ANG MOH.

Sigh. How can he live like this, knowing so many girls he doesn't know exist are so crazy over him?

Also, I found out that I have "typical thinking". And here I thought I was unique and thought differently.

Sigh.

A tribute to our house cat

Okay. So it just occured to me that our cat is old. Actually, he's grandpa-old, which is VERY old.

He has been with us for a very very long time, since I was in primary school I think, and I figured since he's going to leave us not too far off in the future, I might as well write a tribute to him now, before he REALLY leaves us.

Let's get this straight first; I hate our cat. He is THE most irritating thing EVER. I'll tell you why in a minute.

When he first came to us (my sister rescued him from the SPCA), he was named Snowy, because he's all white. See, my sister so creative.

But, he never did respond when we called for "Snowy". One time, my cousins came over, and our cat was under the dining table. My cousin brother went, "Snoweeee.. Snoweeeeeee!" But the cat pretty much ignored him. Everyone figured he was a snobbish cat then.

Then we (meaning my mom and sister, I don't do boh liao things wan) started trying out different names. The cat ignored every name they called him. 'Cept for one. It was an Indian name, "Muthusamy" or something. Serious mann, my sister pretty much gave up, and called it stupid names, and of all the names she called it, it had to choose to respond to Muthusamy.

See, our cat so stupid.

But of course, no one can really get used to calling their cat Muthusamy. One reason is because it's very embarrassing in front of the neighbours.

Then my sister came up with a new name that the cat responded to. She called him, very creatively, "Puss". So from then on, till now, whenever the cat is wanted, my family calls him "Pooooss!" Followed by that "tset tset" sound you make when you're calling after someone.

"Poooooooss! Tset tset!"

And the cat comes.

I never do that, because I am not boh liao, and also I am the only one in the family who hates the cat. I'm telling you, that cat has a human mind. Serious.

It only eats the best food. Give it cheap fish, the next morning the fish would still be in the cat's bowl, untouched. Give it fish we'd have for dinner, it eats everything up. See, it is stupid enough to respond to Muthusamy, but clever enough to know the difference between lousy fish and good-quality fish.

And, it is also very useless because it only comes to you and brush against your leg and Meows oh-so-sweetly, when it is hungry. Give him food, and when he's full, he'll pretty much go back to ignoring you. But he only Meows my sister and my mom and my dad; he never Meows me, because I never liked him enough to give him food. I never liked touching him either, and when he comes near, I'll grap a slipper and start whacking it loudly on the floor, so that he doesn't dare come near me.

But he's intelligent enough to learn tricks lah. Put your hand high above his head, and he'll jump up and rub his head against the palm of your hand. It wasn't that my sister consciously trained him, but he just picked it up after all these years.

"Puss tset tset" catches birds, and sometimes bites them, then leaves them there to die. And we'll find blood and scattered feathers on the porch. Not very often, but it happens. He loves playing with insects also, and again, he leaves them on the porch to die. I wish he'd just eat them up, so I don't have to see one half of a living thing on the left side of the porch, and the other half on the right.

But I have to admit, Puss provides us with entertainment. Like when he shits, then forgets that he just shitted (shat?), and proceeds to lick himself, and ter-licked this bit of brown stuff off his butt. Very sick, but entertaining nevertheless. Either it's what cats do, or Puss is hopelessly stupid. I think it's the latter.

My sister loves her cat A LOT. She actually cries when she has dreams of Puss dying. I cannot imagine what'll happen to her when he REALLY dies. You can tell he's very old, because he moves slower now, and he's getting a bit retarded. He also cannot climb as high as he used to.

Puss, you are one hell of a (irritating) cat. We'll never forget you (because you are so damn irritating)!

Cheers to our cat.

First weekend

Think about this. It's the first weekend of 2006! How you spending it?

Anyway, waiving my promise of not boring you with details of my dreams for just a minute, let me tell you, last night I had a very musical dream. I dreamt that you had to pay for chords to play on your guitar. You cannot just play, if you haven't bought chords to be played. That is actually a very good idea, because then we won't have to practce; we just have to BUY.

And if you read today's StarWeekend, Madame Zorra (?) is now analyzing dreams. Because dreams somehow tell you things you probably wouldn't know yourself, not consciously, anyway. Which got me thinking; that dream of mine probably is trying to tell me, I am so so hopelessly sucky at the guitar. Or musical instruments, in general. I cannot do music, because I SO SUX!

So I should just give up trying to make music and stick to illegally downloading music online.

I also kind of dreamt that Chuan Ling was compulsively buying as much musical stuff as possible. This either means she's a VERY good guitarist in real life, or that she's also hopelessly bad. Worse than me, even.

Oh, by the way, did you notice, I got a tagboard now! To Li-Ann and KerrKay and people who saw my "I DON'T WANT TAGBOARDS" thing at my sidebar, well, I'm sorry. I am too kiasu not to get one now, since everybody has one. Ah, the tortures of peer pressure!

Kidding!

Black metal issue

"Black metal" arrest article

So they say, a bunch of confused adults are so much scarier than a bunch of confused youths.

It's stupid that the police conducted a raid on what they claim was an 'illegal gathering of black metal followers', when in fact, none of the bands playing that new year's eve was a black metal band.

I don't know a lot about black metal, the only black metal-ish band I listen to is Cradle of Filth, and even that is band that's so very mainstream and accused of being 'sell outs'. But I sure do know that youths who listen to black metal are SO NOT youths who worship devils and drink goats' blood and burn bibles. They are merely young people who enjoy music that is not Simple Plan, most of them just casual listeners anyway.

This doesn't have a lot to do with the black metal arrest, so I'm digressing a little. Anyway, sometimes, people listen to certain songs without really paying as much attention to the lyrics as they do to the music. I won't deny having liked songs that blaspheme God and Christianity. *That was before I made my new year's resolution =) But I have never, ever let the lyrics and messages of the songs affect the way I think.

I've listened to songs that my mom wouldn't have wanted me listening to, not only because of the liberal use of crude words, but also because of the image and message of the music. But look at me, I haven't killed anybody or taken drugs or worshipped the devil. Respectable adults with respectable jobs have grown up listening to Alice Cooper, and they're probably model citizens now.

You think by listening to Eminem, I would go ahead and kill my mother, then stuff her in my closet?

It's almost as though the police, and probably everyone else old enough to be our parents, think that young people like us are simply too retarded to be able to think for ourselves. They must honestly think that a song can affect our thinking so much that we start peeing on bibles and sacrificing animals.

We may look stupid, we may act stupid (sometimes), but we are so NOT stupid.

And imagine, dressing up in black, indecent public display? That gets you detained for drug and urine tests? That takes the cake for being the most moronic thing ever.

Maybe one day I could put on a black Slayer shirt, black cargos, mess my hair up a little (to make me look more retarded and unable to think for myself), put on lipstick that's so very thick that it resembles blood, have my headphones on and start some serious headbanging, and walk around in Bintang walk. Maybe I'll get detained, and they'll carry out urine tests on me.
Hey, I'm a Devil Worshipper.

Call it whatever you want, but not 'sohai'!

And when she has got nothing to say, she comes up with very lame topics with equally lame conversation starters. Except that it's nothing much of a conversation and it makes people go, "what the hell?"

She's got to know, if you've got nothing to say, don't say anything at all. People would rather be left alone than to have to fake smiles and pretend to enjoy listening to her.

Besides, it's irritating everyone else. Especially when she speaks in her baby voice!

But don't get me wrong, she's a nice person.

===

So, I bet some of you must've saw one person's MSN display name that goes something like "The most sohai class ever... 5S6".

If there's one thing I learnt from last year, it's not to publicly label your own class the worst. Even if you honestly feel it in every cell of yours, you shouldn't really say it in public. Goodness knows MSN display names are VERY public.

And if there's anothing I learnt, it's that you should learn to like your class. Not love, merely like. That, I'm still trying really hard to do. But the class itself isn't to blame if you're not enjoying your time in the classroom. Blame yourself.

So please, don't lah go and say 5S6 the most sohai class ever!

Contentment. It makes a difference.

"Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up, these are the best days of our lives."

So why am I feeling like I'm wasting my one supposedly super-fun extra-exciting last-year-of-school?

I've always pictured Form 5 to be like, you know, perfect. To be surrounded by all my friends and favourite people, to play stupid pranks like we did in Form 3, to gang up and break small rules together because it'll be the last year we ever get to do that again...

Not that I'm right now surrounded by enemies and least favourite people, but these also aren't people I'd call up around midnight after graduation and ask if they want to go to the mamak together. These aren't the people I'd gather up with for updates.

These are just people I study Biology and Chemistry and other subjects together in the same four walls, and people who fret with me when SPM draws nearer. But after SPM, we'll most likely each go our own way.

These are the people I'd smile and greet when I see them in the malls some time this year, but would go,"That person looks so familiar! On TV wan ah?" few years after this.

These people are generally really nice. But you just don't get along well with every nice person in the country.

Some people get along with their classmates very well when they go to a new class, but then again, they are also the ones who has a new 'best friend' every year. They start hanging out with their new friends more than the old ones. Many times have I seen this happening (heck, I've also been a 12-month-close-friend before), many times have I been told that someone's friend doesn't hang out with her anymore, and many times I have sighed because it is just so pitiful. Because at the end of the schooling years, who will you know are the ones you will promise to make them Godmothers for your kids, and still hang out with and celebrate your 99th birthday together?

Well, whatever. I just want to drive. =)

Speaking of what I want, that Li-Ann tagged me. It's not what I usually do lah, but what the heck.

===
I wish I had:

- an easier to remember name. Because 'ChooiYen' is so hard to commit to memory.

- a soundproof room equipped with the latest hi-fi system and guitars with un-cacated amps and a proper set of drums (eventhough I've only had extremely few lessons. Simply beat around also fun.)

- all the albums that I could ever want. So I don't have to go, "Buy jeans ah? Aiyah, buy CDs better lah!" (This is to counter what Li-Ann said.)

- my brother studying in a local university. Because eventhough he can be a very mean brother, he's also the one who took care of me and gave me money when my parents were at work. Goodness, I didn't realize the things he did, until after he left for Hawaii.

- free, all expense paid trip to not-HongKong-Disneyland!

- a whole lot of money, like Operah who gives away free cars, so I could help the poverty stricken.

- the ability to help pay off all the countries in serious debts, make all trades fair, make poverty history, and educate every single child in the world. (a.k.a. I whish I had infinity amounts of hundred dollar bills in my bank account.)
===

See, I can be very greedy when I let myself be. I can want so much money I would have underwears made out of them. Which is why, I've got to control myself.

HEB 13:5  Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with
what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I
forsake you."

That is all that really matters, anyway.
Perhaps, being in the most fun class and having gazillion dollars doesn't matter so much.

A little bit of resolve, is what I need now!

You have got to read this. Li-Ann's very long post on youth camp. Goodness me.

I have finally gotten to creating my own list of new year's resolutions. There aren't a whole lot of them, I don't want to torture myself, and I'm trying hard to keep them realistic.

Here goes:

1. Finish off at least 50% of all homework given. This does not include work that is copied off classmates.

2. Do not spend 3.5 hours on afternoon naps. 1.5 hours would suffice.

3. "I will use the name of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ reverently. I will not swear or use crude words."

4. "I will only listen to music that is pleasing to Heavenly Father." This is very hard, because often enough the lyrics and message may be bad, but the music itself is good. This also means not so much of Marilyn Manson. *gasp!

5. Follow the rest of the gospel standards. As closely as possible.

6. Do not spend more than 2 hours on the computer during weekdays.

7. Put aside at least one day every week for revisions. Conquer SPM!

8. Put art and writing on hold once in a while. Spend more time on studies.

9. DO NOT drink coffee. Do not start that habit!

And number 10, short though it may be, it sums up all that I resolve to be and do. It is very simple.

10. "I'm coming back to the heart of worship."

Keep the fire burning.

To all my friends who happen to know me very well and I happen to like them a lot, here's to another year of fun and laughter and oh-so-awesome friendship!

And everyone else, here's to our last year in the same school together! (I sound like I cannot wait to leave you guys. Haha!)

Happy New Year!

So we're finally into the new year. And I so dread going to school.

Think about the worrying over exams (OMGWTFBBQsauce? SPM!) and endless lists of homework and my mom's perpetual nagging. Shudders.

And the 6 a.m. alarms and wishing there's no 10th period at the end of the school day and thinking about whose homework you can copy from.

Most of all, I dread having to sit through 6 hours of boring classes in the classroom of 5S6. There would've been a bit of excitement if we were reshuffled and all. But nevermind.

I'm hoping next year would be better than this year. I don't want to spend the year wishing the days were shorter.

Anyway, I'm back from camp. And it has been fun! The worst part is probably the nights, and even that wasn't that bad at all. I couldn't sleep much, mainly because I was in a foreign bed, and also because the slightest sounds wake me up.

And, the girls in my dorm are obsessed with this "impossibly cute guy". Impossible, because he is pure chinese, but looks ang moh. There were supposedly only three of us who weren't at all affected by his good looks, but one of the three eventually caved and wanted to get his autograph. And he didn't even know we existed.

There are a whole lot of things that I only got to know after camp, some of which are the fact that people think Li-Ann and I do not look 16 at all, that there are so many girlie accesories that we didn't know existed, and that other people do not enjoy camwhoring.

Better yet, I got to know that my sister actually misses me everytime I go out. I know there are a few times I have said, "Tomorrow I'm going out with friends", and she'd ask me to stay at home and not go. I thought she was only saying it, without actually meaning what she said. And everytime I go on trips, she'd lament that nobody would be at home to accompany her.

I had my cellphone switched off most of the time during camp, and one evening I realized I had 4 missed calls from my house phone, the first one from 12 a.m. the night before. Now, I obviously thought there had been an emergency or something, because nobody calls repeatedly after midnight.

But it turned out my sister had finally found a certain album I had been trying to find for the past 5 months (and eventually given up altogether), and she had bought it, and she was really excited to tell me that. It's great you know, because for one I don't have to pay for the CD out of my own money. Haha!

And, she also called me on my cellphone on the last day, just to make sure I was coming back. That's really sweet, I probably wouldn't have done the same if she was away.

Well, whatever. I'm just glad I finally got that album.

But it's not like she didn't get herself an album also. I've got to say, she's been buying so many CDs this year, I wonder if she listens to all of them. I'm still proud of the fact that she didn't cave in and buy pirated CDs instead of original ones. Because buying more fakes than originals is so wrong!