Word for the Year

One of my favorite bloggers, Leigh Anne, makes it an annual tradition to choose a 'word for the year' instead of making New Year's Resolutions.  She carefully chooses a word to help inspire and focus her thoughts and actions during the year.  I've loved the idea and have tried to come up with one of my own the past several years but nothing has seemed right.  Probably because there are so many things I want to improve or change that I could never narrow it down to just one. So often I feel like the dog Dug in the movie UP who is so easily distracted..'squirrel!!!'

(I honestly considered ' focus!' ..LOL)  However, this year the first word that came to mind was one that just felt right.  The word is 'Engage'.  All my life I have felt most comfortable as an observer or spectator. People tell me I'm a wonderful listener. I make a great cheer leader, costume maker, scenery painter..  I much prefer to point the spotlight rather than be in it. But, that can become a trap.  The scripture that always jumps out at me and makes me squirm a little is James 1:22.  "But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only.." There is certainly a lot of room for improvement there.
    My pinterest addiction is totally out of control.. As my mother would say, I spend so much time 'stringing my bow' that I  never quite get around to playing. Time to stop 'pinning' and start doing!
     I also have several big challenges facing me this year which will require me to get off my.. ahem.. couch.  So, physically, I will definitely need to engage both mind and body to tackle the major changes necessary for improved health and mobility.
     Yep, the word for 2015  is (Can you hear Jean Luc?) ENGAGE!  

Bring it on!

Being a Mom Isn't For Sissies!

Its interesting being 'of a certain age' and the perspective it gives you.  I look at this classic picture of me with my arms full of two sleeping babies and remember the sweet joy of cuddling my little ones. But, I also remember the pain of feeling over whelmed, TIRED and terribly inadequate. I know now that I was not alone with those feelings.  I would be surprised to learn that there has ever been any young mother of any era who didn't struggle with that emotional roller coaster at sometime.
            I was convinced that my lot was especially hard because I happened to live next door to ferociously organized 'Super Mom' whose house was always perfect, children always dressed to the nines, room mother every year,  Primary President, perfect wife.. etc. etc.  I despaired of ever coming close to her perfection.  What it took me many years to understand was that I was comparing my 'worst' to her 'best'.  I was measuring my inadequacies to her strengths.  I still have a hard time believing that she ever looked over the fence and wished she could be more like me in something.. but, perhaps she did.  My house wasn't always spotless.. (ok, never!) but there was a lot of love there.. and laughter and singing and creativity and spontaneity.  Where her kids were always on time, with forms signed, homework done and lunches in hand, my kids learned that it was ok to not be perfect, and to be able to laugh at themselves and solve problems creatively..   Good things!  But, it was so hard to see the bigger picture when I was in the middle of the whirlwind!     
           Yes, age and experience does give a little perspective.  My heart hurts as I watch the struggles of my daughters and daughters-in-law, and other young women, trying so hard to live up to their own expectations of everything they should be and aught to do. If I could give young mothers one piece of advice it would be to be gentle with yourself.  You are right now in one of the most difficult periods of your life.. in the trenches, so to speak.  The reality is that you are not always going to be perfectly patient, your house is not going to be spotless and you'll probably get behind on the laundry.  But, if your kids (and husband) know, without any doubt, that you love them.. you are doing just fine.  Trust me-  The kids won't remember if the dishes weren't done or that dinner was late or even that you raised your voice occasionally.  What they will remember is that they felt safe and loved and important.  I learned this lesson from a wise woman before I was even married.  One day my mom and several other ladies were sitting around chatting about their kids.  One lady in particular had kids that were terrors when they were little and had since grown up to be lovely young adults.  Someone asked her what her secret was.  She thought a minute and said, "I don't know.  I guess I just loved them." There is such wisdom in that simple phrase!  It doesn't really matter what your style of parenting is, what really matters is that your kids know, deep down,  in their heart of hearts that they are loved.  Then, no matter what the world throws at them or tries to tell them about themselves, they always have that firm and secure foundation of knowing they are valued and valuable. My mother gave that gift to me and I really tried hard to pass it on to my kids.
      As I look at this picture, I wish I could give that young mother (and all young mothers I know) a hug and be able to whisper in her ear that she is doing ok, that it will all be ok.. .  She will survive and, (miraculously, some days) she will allow those kids to survive too!  LOL  Those babies, and their 3 siblings will grow up to be wonderful men and women, in spite of her mistakes and inadaquacies.   They will be amazing, in fact, and will make her so proud and grateful to be their mom! 
       

Christmas in September??

Making a list and checking it twice..

Ho Ho Ho!  Santa's helper at our house (me!) has been busy these days making lists, shopping and definitely getting into the holiday mode. (Of course you know Billy is getting pulled into this as well.. he is such a good sport!)  Anyway, I have been having a grand time planning and even executing some projects. In fact, I actually have several things basically finished already.. just lacking a few final touches before being ready to wrap.  Wow! I know.. Who knew?  I do have to say, its amazing how much more fun this is in September than in those frantic weeks in December.  I've come to the conclusion that September is the perfect month for this.. By the time October comes, I am way too easily distracted by the fun of Halloween stuff.. decorating, throwing parties etc. Then, I just barely recover from all that before its time to get ready for Thanksgiving preparations and family coming.  (We have two of our kids, Nate and Christi traveling home this year.  How fun is that?)  So, September really is the ideal time for 'Project Christmas' to commence.  I'm so excited about what we have going.. I would love to post pictures but my kids read my blog.  Well, I think they do.. sometimes.  Just in case..  

Psst..Hey, Kids-  (sung in a sing/song voice) I know what you're getting for Christmas!

How Are You Feeling Today?

Its not a cane, its a walking stick!

Have you ever seen the movie Wit?  Its a wonderful, thought provoking film starring Emma Thompson.  Her character is a woman with stage 4 cancer undergoing a brutal, experimental treatment.  Anyway, one of her monologues concerns how everyone invariably greets her with the throwaway line 'How are you feeling today?"  (Really? Stage 4 cancer??) She replies "Fine". 

One of my Mom's pet peeves was people who asked her the same thing.  She was too honest not to tell them exactly how she was feeling and then was annoyed when the questioner acted uncomfortable and flustered not knowing how to respond to her litany of pains.  (Why do they ask me, if they really don't want to know?) 

I find myself encountering similar queries these days.  Since I blew out my knee in November, a cane has become my most obvious accessory.  That one little item has had an amazing impact on my life.  I have to admit, it has been pretty alarming to have gone, overnight,  from a 'fairly vital 60ish lady with iffy knees' to a 'little old lady hobbling around on a cane'.  I swear that cane has aged me 20 years in other's perceptions of me!  And, well meaning folks tend to greet me with "How are you feeling today?" accompanied with sympathetic pats and smiles.  Well, I'm not quite that far over the hill! I flash a big smile and say "I'm great!  My knees aren't so happy right now, but the rest of me is just fine".  And, it is true.  Just because I may walk a little slower and have to sit down a little more frequently-- my mind, my sense of humor and whatever makes me.. ME,  are all very much intact, thank you very much.  Its all a matter of perspective.  By the way.. I have decided I will no longer refer to this handy dandy object as a cane.. it is, in fact, a walking stick.  Now, doesn't that sound more elegant?

So.. how are YOU feeling today?

Mmmmm...Do you Smell That??

     There are some things that just make my heart happy.  One of them is the wonderful aroma of onions frying in the kitchen.  The funny thing about that is that I am not a big fan of eating onions but, the smell... ah.. that speaks volumes to me!  Its all about good old comfort food (you just know that something yummy is right around the corner) and family.  Many of our favorite dinnertime recipes begin with onions..but, I'm guessing our kids will always associate the smell of frying onions with Saturday mornings.  Bill, bless him, usually took over making breakfast for the clan on Saturday while I slept in.  And, although his most popular entrees were pancakes and eggs, somehow or other, fried onions always seemed to slip onto the menu, whether it was in the hash browns, fried squash, or scrambled eggs. And, it was that aroma that lured the kids out of their beds and into the kitchen; not just for breakfast but to spend some precious time with Dad. (Who was always a lot more fun than mom in the mornings, trust me!  LOL)  And, of course, is there anything that smells better than homemade bread baking in the oven? or chocolate chip cookies?  YUM 

      The aroma of different food also conjures up certain times of year or special occasions for me.  Zucchini Bread means summertime in Kaysville when zucchini and tomatoes were overflowing our garden and counters.  The smell of Boston Cream Candy bubbling away on the stove instantly transports me back to my childhood and the magic of Christmas.  Strangely enough, for a good little Mormon girl, the smell of coffee brewing brings back lovely warm memories of my first 10 years.  Before we joined the Church, Mom and Dad were both big coffee drinkers and the coffee pot was the first thing that was plugged in every morning. 

      And, of course, chocolate, in all its varieties, is a scent that is always a happy thing for me. I seem to have built in radar when it comes to that luscious stuff. One of my favorite stories: We were in Switzerland, with Grandma Peck and Darla   Our main purpose was to visit the temple and our allocated time was limited but, we did want to pick up some of the famous Swiss chocolate before we left.  We arrived in Bern late in the afternoon.  By the time we got settled into the guest housing it was early evening.  We sought directions from some of the temple workers for a place to do some shopping.  Unfortunately, the directions were not clear, and by the time we finally found the mall, tempers were frayed and we had about 20 minutes before closing.  It was a huge mall and chances seemed slim that we would find the chocolate shop they had told us about.  Well, we walked in, my radar kicked in, and I unerringly led the way thru several turns directly to the chocolate!  Yeah, chocolate and I understand each other!  LOL

     So.. what smells make you happy?

Hooked!

Well, it finally happened- Bill got me hooked on indexing.  His enthusiastic dedication to indexing names on Family Search Indexing is apparently contagious.  I must admit I am a reluctant convert.  I have given it a half- hearted effort several times over the last couple of years but I just couldn't catch the vision.  Somehow I missed the ooh ah of it all.  Well, a couple of weeks ago, when I was sitting around feeling too sick to do much of anything else useful, I decided to give it another shot.  I figured even if I didn't do much more than a few pages, at least I could say I accomplished SOMETHING worthwhile with my day, and, hey, every little bit helps, right?  Bill got me started again- I couldn't even remember what the website was- and, I clicked the little button that said 'download a batch'.   Up popped a screen of options with Ohio 1930 Census being 'highest priority'. Wanting to be a good sport, I thought, ok, I'll go for it.  Highest priority it is.  I downloaded 1 batch.  Actually, I have to admit, my imagination did click in when I read '1930' - that was such a pivotal time in US history.  The stock market crash of 1929 was really beginning to impact the country- the Great Depression was getting underway. And, as it happens, my mom was born in 1930, so I had a personal connection to that year as well.  Anyway, as I began filling in the blanks, trying to interpret strange handwriting, (Is that an 'r' or an 's' or maybe an 'n'??) typing in names, ages, gender, race, birthplace, year of immigration etc. suddenly, these became people to me, not just names on a microfilm.  I found myself worrying over them as I typed in facts like; year of immigration- 1928, place of birth- Yugoslavia, or Bulgaria or Poland.  There were such hard years ahead for the country. How did these people survive?  Barely speaking English, how did they take care of their families?  I found myself reading their 'occupation'.. 'laborer', 'corset stretcher', 'buggy builder'.. oh, my!  Then there were the widows with 5 or 6 little children as head of the household.  They often had a houseful of 'roomers' or 'boarders'.  I have heard stories all my life about how hard my Grandmother Reay worked to keep her boarding house going.  So many names, so many stories!  These people have all passed away by now, even their littlest children are in their 80s, but, I still can't help wondering and worrying about them. Somehow, I'm sure they all made it thru those hard times- people do.  I just hope they passed on to their children and grandchildren their stories.  How I would love to hear them!  Maybe that's why I am now hooked on this indexing project.  Just in case their descendants have somehow  lost track of their family history- Just in case they're trying to discover where their ancestors came from, where they were in 1930, how many children they had or how they earned their living etc.- Yep, just in case, I like to think that my little laptop and I can help bridge that generation gap. So, I sit and study out the scrawls, scribbles and flourishes of these long ago census takers, checking my best guess with Google.. (Is there really such a name as Baczkowski??) and comparing notes with Bill... totally and completely  hooked.  In the meantime, I still worry...

Decking the Halls with Memories

Handmade by Emily

I really enjoyed decorating for Christmas this year.  Some years its more a chore than a joy, but, this time every item I unpacked seemed especially precious because of all the memories it evoked.  Goodness knows I have squirreled away more than my fair share of Christmas treasures over the years.  I've lost count of the number of nativities I have now and I have given up putting them all out every year.  I kind of pick and choose according to my mood.  This time, I decided I would only put up the ones that were especially dear.  The newest addition certainly fell into that category.  Last summer, when we were up in Utah, Emily pulled me aside to tell me she had something for me- something she had made.  It turned out to be this adorable little nativity set. (I love it that Mary has purple hair with an orange streak!)  It made me smile every time I walked by.

      Others are long time friends like this Precious Moments set that Mom gave me.  The first year I received Mary, Joseph and the baby.  The  rest of the pieces were added over several years.  I have always loved it but, with her passing, it is even dearer to me now.  The serape scarf it is sitting on was my Grandma Reay's- another sweet reminder of a loved one. 

    Other sets like this Korean one bring back wonderful memories of places we've been and adventures enjoyed along the way.

 

And, of course, trimming the trees is really a sentimental journey.  Some ornaments we've had since the kids were little.  Some I made, like those pink felt angels..(what was I thinking??) some were handmade gifts from Mom, Jeanie, Mona etc. Others we've picked up on our travels.. cloisonne ornaments from China, a violin from Austria, a Scotsman in a kilt, Polish pottery eggs, German cuckoo clocks etc.  Each one brings back a sweet memory.  These porcelain dolls were some of the last gifts Mom gave me. They are exquisitely painted and costumed and I love them.  The little reindeer hanging beside her is an ornament I made for her many years ago out of salt dough.  It seemed appropriate to hang them close together.         

 

Yes, this year, decorating for Christmas was very special journey- Filled with warmth and love but, especially memories.  I'm so grateful for Him whose birthday we celebrate.  Because of Him goodbyes are only temporary and memories are eternal.