Vote for Darwin by Friday

Every time someone tries to drag Florida's miserably vague educational science standards into the 20th century -- never mind the 21st century -- the creationist lunkheads rise up to drag it back again to Bishop Usher's famously bogus date of 4004 B.C.

Any and every hominid in the world has through Friday, October 14 to cast his or her vote for the newly proposed Florida science standards at this polling place. A vote for the new standards is a vote proving that Florida at long last has evolved. Darwin would be proud.

Indecent Trial Reporting

"Investigative reporters don't have a sense of humor. They can't afford one."

As we 'noted' the other day, after the latest round of reductions-in-force at the Pensacola News Journal, the unfortunates who remain in Gannett Corp.'s employ are being required to double-up, or worse, in journalism assignments. Increasingly, it seems, editors are sending them far afield from their usual beats to cover subjects about which the reporters couldn't care less -- or aren't competent to handle.

This doesn't make for an informed readership. But we have to admit, it is entertaining to watch.

Take two of today's front-page courtroom related stories. The first one was covered by Michael Stewart, one of the few left at the PNJ who justly might be considered a skilled investigative reporter. He was assigned to waste his talents reporting on the federal court prosecution of the "Christian" proselytizer Kent ("Dr. Dino") Hovind.

The second story was handed off to Nicole Lozare, who formerly malpracticed her trade on Pensacola Beach. This week, she was dispatched to the state courthouse to cover the trial of Janelle Bird, the 25 year-old school teacher who is accused of bedding a 15 year-old student of hers.

Time was when the Pensacola News Journal, aware of the rich veins of public policy -- not to mention local lunacy -- to be mined in the depths of local courthouses, hired actual trial-wise reporters for such stuff. No longer.

Neither of today's reporting assignments make much sense.

We've mentioned the Dr. Dino story before. Hovind and a fervent band of college students from Pensacola Christian College for some time, now, have been shaking down credulous simpletons by thumping on the Bible and telling them dinosaurs and mankind shared the earth together a few thousand years ago. Now, "Dr. Dino" and his wife have been charged in a 58-count indictment with failing to pay nearly half a million dollars in income taxes, employer Social Security withholding, and Medicare employment deductions.

Hovind raked in the money and stiffed the callow college kids at "Dinosaur Adventure Land," a pathetic backyard of a house he festooned with ridiculous-looking yard ornaments and playground equipment resembling cartoon dinosaurs. Then, he started charging money to see them and buy his propaganda books.

Now, "Dr. Dino" claims all that money really belongs to God and he is merely guarding it from the Darwin-loving grasp of the IRS.

The latest twist in this hilarious tale is that Hovind, based on various cockamamie constitutional arguments, is demanding that the federal court return his passport while he's out on bail so he can fly to South Africa next month. The trip was planned, as Stewart writes, so Dr. Dino could "'square off against several luminaries who hail from different scientific disciplines,' according to the Web site for Power Ministries."

He'll hurry back for the trial. Yeah, sure. As long as God buys him a return ticket.

Much as we appreciate his talents, this courtroom story doesn't deserve heavy artillery like Michael Stewart. It needs a comedy writer.

As is well known in the world of journalism, investigative reporters don't have a sense of humor. They can't afford one. Otherwise, they'd be giggling all the way through the interviews with crooked public officials, hypocritical politicians, and randy religious leaders caught with their hands in the till or up the skirts of parishioners.

As for the Nicole Lozare story, the inappropriateness of sending her to cover a court trial of any kind should be evident to anyone who knows her work. She lacks the substantive knowledge, listening skills, and critical thinking ability to report on anything more serious than a beach bathtub race.

But -- who'd a thunk it? -- Nicole does have a talent. As a steamy romance writer! Get this lede:

Tears rolling down her face, a former teacher who faces up to 60 years in prison testified there was nothing lewd and lascivious about her relationship with her 15-year-old student -- just love.

Janelle Bird, 25, said she loved him so much that, despite a Pensacola Christian College education that preached against premarital sex, she gave him her virginity.

"Gave him her virginity?" If that's a quote from the defendant's testimony, you'd think Nicole would have given her readers some sort of clue -- like quotation marks, for instance. Perhaps she feared that doing so would make it seem, to borrow Lynn Truss' words, like "a kind of linguisitic rubber glove, distancing [herself] from vulgar words [she] is too refined to use in a normal way."

Apart from the steamy prose, obscurantism, and the (yet another) example of Lozare's carelessness with quotations, she seems to have missed entirely the story-behind-the story. According to Lozare, the teacher --

didn't deny that she had sex with the teen nearly a dozen times in August and October. But she denied that it was lewd and lascivious.

Now, here is where a real trial reporter might have done some good. What on earth is the defense doing? Why would the accused teacher take the stand and testify so explicitly to her long-running affair with a 15 year-old male student? Why would the defense lawyer let her? Don't they watch Law & Order?

These are questions we imagine most readers are asking themselves today. They have to ask because these questions don't seem to have occurred to Nicole Lozare.

Could it be that the Florida Supreme Court has "reserved" approving a standard jury instruction for "lewd" and "lascivious" to share with juries? Might it be that the state's statutory definitions of those words are vague and even contradictory? Even on-line dictionaries offer what some could argue are incompatible definitions of lewd ("lustful" or "indecent") and "lascivious" ("expressing lust" or "salacious").

Add to that the fact that the whole of the "common law of England" -- we're talking over seven centuries of judicial decisions, now -- is expressly made part of Florida criminal law by the very first section (775.01) of the Florida Criminal Code, and you can begin to see there may be some method to the madness of having the defendant testify that, sure, she had an affair. So what?

At the least, there seems to be enough confusion in Florida law over what "lewd" and "lascivious" mean that even a linguist would have trouble reaching a reasoned judgment. Even if the jury eventually throws out whatever definitions the court may give it and concludes -- as Justice Potter Stewart once did about what constitutes obscenity -- that they know lewd and lascivious when they see them, it's a good bet there will be protracted appeals to higher courts.

Is that what the defense has in mind? We can't be sure. The reporter covering this trial isn't saying.

'To See Ourselves Truly'

"'To the extent that the furor over evolution represents a cultural crisis in America - and only in America - it is a crisis of credulity, not faith, a crisis rooted in neglect and ignorance."

-- Verlyn Klinkenborg, New York Times, Nov. 19, 2005

Suddenly, we're seeing a lot of Florida newspapers make mention of the Darwin Exhibition at the American Museum of Natural History in New York.

Undoubtedly, this has a lot to do with growing expectations that Florida Republicans are planning a mass pandering to public ignorance by firing up a "debate over the role of religious faith in science class," as Florida Politics, noted two days ago. The fighting ground was prepared late this summer when Jeb Bush appointed "creationist wingnut Cheryl Yecke as the state chancellor of K-12 education," as Florida Blues and others (documented by Mark Lane) have observed.

Apparently in response, a new Florida blog named Florida Citizens for Science was born almost immediately. It's backed by "a group of concerned citizens, businesspeople, parents and educators who are committed to maintaining excellence in public school science classrooms in the state of Florida."

The battle is not yet joined, however. As the Miami Herald reported late last week, state officials have decided to delay "for at least a year" a review of state educational science standards for "how to address humanity's origins."

Education officials were planning to revise the standards next year, but a spokeswoman for state education Commissioner John Winn said Wednesday that delays in updating math and language arts standards have pushed science into 2007 or 2008.

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That delay will postpone the debate over how to teach evolution, creation and intelligent design until after Gov. Jeb Bush's successor is elected next year.

Or, put another way, the attack on science will begin just as Jeb Bush publicly launches his 2008 campaign for president.

What better way to distract the public mind from the real issues of the day? There just isn't much of political pay-off trying to start an argument over "math and language arts" standards.

Michael Ruse, a Canadian biologist now teaching in Florida, professes to be "puzzled" over the ignorance of most Americans when it comes to evolutionary theory. As he wrote this past weekend in the Toronto Globe and Mail:

I cannot understand how anyone over the age of 12 can take seriously and literally the creation stories of Genesis. It is truly beyond me to fathom how someone can spend time and effort actually trying to work out the elephants' living arrangements on the Ark. Yet this is the sort of stuff I deal with daily on my campus.

You think I exaggerate? Survey after survey shows that more than 50 per cent of Americans do not believe in evolution. It is too embarrassing to say out loud how many believe that humans and dinosaurs co-existed.

Puzzled he may be, but he still gets it. The evolution debate in he U.S. is not about science. It's about those politicians who would say to us --

Do not attempt grand plans of reform and progress. Concentrate on personal purity, so you will be among the chosen. Do not concern yourself with plans for universal health care. Stop the plug from being withdrawn from Terri Schiavo. Do not worry about the levees of New Orleans. Fight the good fight against the anti-Christ in Iraq. Care not for the gun-driven murder rate. Support the Second Amendment to the Constitution and the right to bear arms.

How does a Canadian realize this when so many Florida voters seem oblivious to how they are about to be hoodwinked? Ironically, Darwin himself offered the answer.

A couple of weeks ago Verlyn Klinkenborg -- scholar, author, ex-Iowan, gardener, professor, environmentalist, social critic, and member of the New York Times editorial board -- shared an insight from Darwin himself that was inspired by the museum exhibition. Klinkenborg had a chance to see the Darwin Exhibit in preview and came away, he wrote in the Times, "with a reawakened sense of Darwin's characteristic honesty and his extraordinary powers as an observer, qualities that are as much an attribute of the scientist as of the man."

The new exhibition called "Darwin" at the American Museum of Natural History portrays the making of the man and the scientist, and it reminds us how well and how fully evolution explains the life around us. It also captures the way Darwin's theory opened an entirely new window in the human imagination.

Even more than that, it seems, the exhibition provides a keen appreciation for how far-sighted Darwin was in devining the criticisms that would confront his theory, criticisms that still echo today:

The basic objections to evolution - the ones trumpeted by the proponents of so-called intelligent design - are essentially the ones Darwin described in the sixth chapter of ' Origin.' They have been given a new language, and new examples have been adduced. But Darwin did a surprisingly good job of forestalling his critics. He showed that most of the objections to his theory, then as now, were based on a misunderstanding of the evidence or the nature of his argument, or were owing simply to the fact that so much remains to be discovered about the workings of life on Earth.

The exhibit also reminded Kinkenborg about the warm sympathies for humanity that Darwin felt as he realized "how hard it would be for us to see ourselves truly."

How hard... to see ourselves truly. It always is.

Evolving News

It was pretty much 'All-Schaivo All the Time' around Florida blogs this week.

South of Suwanee has the best roundup, including a must-read link to an online interview with Florida's own Matt Conigliaro, whose Abstract Appeal blog has long provided the most reliable and objective reporting on the case.

But Florida blogs were talking about a few other subjects, too...
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Robert C. of Interstate4 Jamming took time out from the week's other news to report "rumors are rampant in DC that White House advisor Karl Rove is encouraging Congresswoman Katherine Harris (R - Longboat Key) to avoid tossing her hat into the ring as a candidate for the U.S. Senate seat currently held by Bill Nelson when it comes up last year." The White House is said to fear that Harris is a polarizing figure likely to inspire more Democrats to vote in next year's congressional elections. Harris' office says she'll announce her decision in June.
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Via Florida Politics we're told by the Orlando Sentinel that debates over the annual state budget should hit the floor of the Florida Legislature next week.

"Both House and Senate are expected to increase spending and, perhaps, propose tax cuts following an April 11 meeting of state economists to settle on a final estimate of tax revenues expected for the coming budget year. That group is likely to add hundreds of millions of dollars to the bottom line.
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Even without new money, however, the final budget has historically been larger than either chamber's, as top lawmakers insist on cherished programs that had initially been in one or the other version but not both.

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Mark Lane of FlaBlog highlights some $200 million in subsidies for professional sports approved, so far, by legislative committees. $30 million will go to the NASCAR Hall of Fame, $60 million to the Florida Marlins, and $200 million for the Orlando Magic.
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Lt. Gov. Toni Jennings announced this week the state has been awarded federal funds to experiment with a "faith based" juvenile delinquency program. Up to 200 juvenile offenders "of any faith" can sign up, but the Government already has decided the program administration "will be Christian-based."

Blogwood is not impressed. To see why, just follow the links at the end of his aricle.
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A gas price survey was started by Bark-Bark, Woof-Woof. "[A]long Coral Way," he says, self-serve regular gas is going for "$2.17 to $2.25." In faraway Traverse City, Michigan, it's reached $2.28. Readers are reporting in with their own local prices. So far, San Francisco seems to be the highest, at $2.78 for premium grade.

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Miami law professor Michael Froomkin expands on news reports this week about a small plane pilot who's licensed to fly but can't use any airports because he's been placed on a secret blacklist, probably by mistake, and the Government offers him no way to know why, contest the reasons, or appeal. Even agreeing to inform for the FBI on fellow flight school students didn't help.

The professor comments:

"That’s right. Mr. Nice Guy was so desperate to get off the US government blacklist that he became an informer on his fellow students. And even that wasn’t enough.

So we have secret arbitrary blacklists that make you berufsverbot. We have people crawling to the secret service offering to be informers to save their careers. Will the next step will be secret denunciations. Almost certainly. If it goes on long enough then, in time, stoolies will have to meet their quotas for denunciations or get in trouble. Yes, I’ve seen this movie before. It wasn’t pretty. But last time the actors had Russian and East German accents."

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The good professor might want to check out Dred's report on the so-called "academic bill of rights" tromping its way through the Florida legislature. The proposal is sponsored by Dennis Baxley (R-Ocala), a Baptist funeral director turned citizen law-maker.

Some say the bill would effectively authorize any student to sue a professor with whom he may disagree. That ought to stop all those ivory tower types from promoting dangerous ideas from the Age of Enlightment like evolution, the earth is round, everyone is entitled to due process of law, and a preposition ain't nothing good to end a sentence on.
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Speaking of evolution, Anger Management has identified a shark hunter who almost qualified for the Darwin Award, which is handed out periodically to those who "accidentally kill themselves in really stupid ways," thus improving the human genome.
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Evolution also has the attention of Why Now?Based in Cinco Bayou, that Florida blog snagged an interesting ABC News article on "laughter" research.

An Ohio professor and his students --

are finding there is a long evolutionary trail to our odd noises of amusement, and the latest proof comes from ticklish rats.

You've probably never heard a rat laugh, and there's a good reason.

Jaak Panksepp, of Bowling Green State University in Ohio, and his students found that the rodents emit gleeful "chirps" when playing, but only at ultrasonic tones five times higher than the human ear can hear. Once Panksepp hooked up an ultrasonic detector to listen in on rats in his lab and started tickling the animals, he realized the effect on them was dramatic.

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The fact that rats have a form of laughter suggests it has been around for a very long time. Scientists have estimated that the common ancestor of rats and humans lived some 75 million years ago.

Not long enough, apparently. Another researcher and his students have been hanging out in shopping malls, "surreptitiously watching people in the act of laughter."

Among other things, what they found:

"[M]ore often than not, the person doing the laughing is not the one listening, but the one doing the talking. Plus, he learned what people say before laughing is often not even remotely funny."

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Florida ranks dead last in high school graduation rates and near the top in violent crime, Florida News reminds readers. So he's outraged that the state legislture this week defeated a proposal to raise the age for compulsory school attendance to 18.

"In fact, of the ten most violent states in the nation, eight are also ranked in the bottom ten in high school graduation rates.

If low graduation rates lead to high crime rates, doesn't it make financial sense to keep kids in school longer?

No doubt. The average annual cost to house a prisoner is between $20-30,000, not to mention the costs to victims and communities. The annual cost of educating a child in Florida is roughly $7,000."

That's the problem, of course. The proposal to save money as well as young people simply makes too much sense to pass the Florida legislature.
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Another thing to do, one might conclude from Sticks of Fire, is to get sexual predators away from elementary schools. A statehouse bill named in honor of Homosassa's Jessica Lunsford would commit more than $13 million to electronically tracking convicted sexual predators who are on probation. Angry proposals to castrate them also may play well with constituents, but they would be of doubtful constitutionality.
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Hot Wax Residue has more on budget choices facing the Florida legislature, including Jeb Bush's proposal for a "do-over" vote on the class size amendment and a cut in the "per drink" alcohol tax.

Apparently, the governor thinks cheaper booze will help the state attract big business.

Do you also suppose scientists would find that tax cuts on alcohol would make them laugh more?