Career Crossroad

"What do you see yourself doing X years from now?"
(Let X be a positive integer greater than 3)

If there was one favourite question among job interviewers, that would be it. Be it for the position of a product specialist, research officer, marketing executive or a clinical facilitator.

And most unfortunately, that would also be the question that I never fail to be stumped, regardless how much I've prepared beforehand.

It is sorely apparent that I have yet to convince myself what I really want to be, not least to talk about career goals.

To me, that question is just a fanciful or sophisticated paraphrase of that childhood question, "What do you want to do when you grow up?"

Amidst the blur of short term ambitions of astronauts and pilots, the strongest inkling of what I desired to be was a bedroom trance DJ during my JC days (no thanks to Sasha's Expander).


But like most fantasies, they quickly fade. Only to be replaced by an enigmatic abyss of confusion which I have not been able to explicate as of late.

What could I do?

1. Further your studies.
This arguably could be described as the most stable path after graduation. Absolutely recession-proof, and culminates with a orgasmic Permanent Head Damage well-respected "Doctor" prefix to your last name.

Yet, past experience has repeatedly pointed to my lack of passion in research, as evidenced by the fatality of scientific journals on me by the Zzz monster.

2. Follow your passion.
Oooo.

The word "passion" not only sounds fruity to me, but it conjures out the image of flames bursting from void.

Ok, drama aside. My lackadaisical and fickle nature has resulted in me getting interested in numerous things, but not beyond the threshold of passion.

Some have suggested to take stock of the amount of time I invest in a certain activity, and it might give me a clue on where my passion lies.

Well, going along that line of thought, coming in first in place would be... ...

1. PIANO
LOL.
Of course that would siphon off the most amount of time since I have been preparing for my Grade 8 examinations the end of this year.

AND YES, considering I will be a quarter-centurion old when I take the examinations, I might be in the 99th percentile in terms of age.

You might call me pessimistic, but I would describe myself as realistic not to even flirt the thought of music as a career.

2. BADMINTON
ROFL.

Playing it two times a week doesn't make me a professional. It's simply for fun and maybe for health. DUH.

3. WRITING
Actually, that doesn't really qualify since I've almost halted writing thousand word essays or articles this year.

Even then, writing is a form of art which I appreciate more than I practice.

I enjoy reading commentaries and reviews (particularly those related to current affairs and politics), then debating with myself (Ok, I know I'm weird but it's done in my head!) about the issues at hand.

But when it comes to translating down my thoughts to words, I never fail to encounter an invisible inertia which seeks to expunge every plausible word I would want to write about.

On one end of the spectrum, there lies the prolific writers who can churn out essays and articles like a production factory on hyperdrive. On the other end lies Kelvin, the infertile writer.

4. Wei Qi
The only board game I play which I am not good at, though it makes me look relatively intellectual (at least to the layman). HAHA.

5. Wines
I'm just stating this so to let you know that this is always welcomed whenever you meet me. *hint*

So you see, none of my so-called passions have remotely anything to do with my BioEngineering background.

3. Enter your related Industry
Easier said than done.

With a rather obscure specialized Engineering major, I realized there is only limited number of jobs that can be construed as a good fit to my BioEngineering degree. And too many of them either had to do with research or sales, of which I'm ain't too keen.

Also, most of these jobs seem to require me to undergo substantial training before I can actually contribute back meaningfully to the company.

Which brings me to the question, what is the bloody use of my degree then?!

Agad.

So what now after almost 3 to 4 weeks of job hunting?

My gut feeling is that I am approaching a crossroad soon. And the available options don't look too pretty.

Someway or the other, sacrifices and compromises would have to be made. And I remain torn as ever.

Double-agad. Monday better not come.

BN3101: The End

So there we have it.

BN3101: Biomedical Engineering Design, the mother of all Bioengineering modules has finally drawn to a close. And what an experience it has been!

For all who haven't had the privilege of taking this module, it's a compulsory design project module that all NUS Bioengineering students have to take in the first semester for their third year.

The Project (for 2008)

• You are working in a Medical Device company
• You have no choice who your colleagues are
• You are given a small budget and a dateline to do a proof of concept design
• Your team is to present to management at the end of 12 weeks a design solution for a new total ankle or total wrist replacement.
• Your team is to convince management that you should be given more money (US$1 million) to bring concept to clinical trial.

What to Design

• A total wrist replacement
• Instrumentations for insertion of the device
• Instrumentation for cutting guides

I had manage to delay the inevitable for a year when I bolted out of Singapore to seek solace in New Zealand. But fast forward one year, BN3101 was back to breathing down my neck.

I was dreading every moment of it after hearing all the horror stories from my fellow BIE mates who had already gone through fiery flames of BN3101. Furthermore, the implication of doing a design project module concurrently with a final year project seemed almost insurmountable.

Like it or not, I had no choice. LPPL.

Things started off with a sour note when BN3101 held 4 pre-lectures on week 0. (What the heck are pre-lectures anyway?!) It was expected that everyone mastered Solidworks in that week so each group could start designing on the medical device when semester officially begins.

On another note, for the first time in short history of BN3101, the bioengineering batch was tasked to design two types of prostheses. Half was tasked to design an ankle replacement and the other half, a wrist one. My group was assigned the latter.

So with little engineering background (Bioengineers are not real engineers btw, unlike traditional engineering fields i.e Mechanical/Electrical/Civil engineers...) and zilch knowledge on orthopedic implants, everyone unwillingly embarked on this seemingly impossible task.

After a couple of weeks of brainstorming, my group presented our brilliant ideas to the specialists at Department of Hand & Reconstructive Surgery, National University Hospital.

And boy old boy. Who would forget that condescending remark as our group entered the meeting room "these are the guys that want to design a wrist prosthesis in one semester!" *cue in snigger*

Dr Tan Ter Chyan was so convinced about the impossibility of our project, he assured us that he would talk to Prof Casey to change the scope of our project.
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No, he did not.

To be fair, after having quite a bit of fun ridiculing us, he did rope in Dr David Tan to help us out. Nonetheless, everyone was pretty much sian jit pua (Coxford Dictionary: Hokkien adjective to convey boredom, weariness, frustration and emptiness) after the interview.

Of course, apart from designing a total wrist arthroplasty (artificial joint reconstruction) system, we had our individual roles such as intellectual property protection, regulatory affairs, market survey. I "wisely" chose design rationale and design verification.

Aargh. I have no idea how many journals, American Society for Testing and Materials (ASTM) standards, International Organization for Standardization (ISO) papers and British Standards I had to put up with.
*strikes off future research/career in Biomechanics*

As a group, I personally thought our group was progressing at snail's pace. For example, we only finalized the name of our supposed company in the last couple of weeks before the deadline. Previously, we were unofficially called "terroWRIST" (fingers point to a certain Wayne...)

But thankfully, things did not retrogressed to the dismal state that plagued my previous design project, ME4253: Biomaterials Engineering. It was no surprise I made it my personal goal that ME4253 will be my final NUS project which I screwed up.

The Vascular Graft project that gave me a heart attack.

The smiles belies the bitterness simmering beneath.

With our amazingly helpful mentor, Dr Kim Sangho chasing us for our presentation slides, we actually manage to complete our presentation slides 5 days before the actual day.

And that left us to plan for other interesting stuff.

1. Fake brochure printed on Glossy Paper

The jeans blue border was a personal eyesore to me, so I manage to convince the rest that it didn't look too professional. Much to the dismay of Kenny. (Haha... Oops.)

2. Board to illustrate our amazing surgical instrumentation

Pity the hideous colours and font type though...

3. Surgical simulation for budding pseudo-surgeons

4. To top things off, our dress code was the antithesis of PAP.

However, to others, we looked like :
A) Mourning/Funeral/anything depressing
B) Mafia/Secret society/黑社会
C) University Cultural Centre Usher
D) Waiters/Waitress
E) Etc. Nothing really flattering... Seriously.

So after 12 weeks of group meetings, complicated lecturer-student scandals, McDonald breakfasts, Olive Cove pancakes, YIH lunches, Eusoff escapades and even more pancakes, Wiz-a-Wrist was born.

Wiz-a-Wrist™
It's worth the risk.

The day of presentation (ON A SATURDAY) began miserably with a lack of sleep and last minute printing of individual reports. The disgusting unappetizing lunch at the infamous YIH canteen didn't help matters.

To think we originally planned for a feast at NUS SUN Asian Bistro.

We did try to make it up a bit by having dinner at Kim Gary, Vivocity.

I digress.

It was a fuzzy swirl of events after lunch. But in short team averNUS nailed the presentation, had a clean sweep of the awards and lived happily ever after.
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I wished.

While we thought we emerged as possibly the strongest contenders in the "Wrist Group", there laid an even stronger contender in the "Ankle Group". Group 6, helmed by Eric Cher, stole the limelight. On top of garnering the Best Presentation Award, they took home the Most Innovative Award, which I was personally convinced we would get it.

Nonetheless, they were the rightful winners. As I read about using Fuji pressure-sensitive film to find out about the pressure distribution, Group 6 was already there using actual real films to test their prototype. When our group made use of wood and saws to attempt to model our surgical jigs, Group 6 had produce impressive acrylic models, presumably by rapid prototyping.

Wayne, the master carpenter at work.

So averNUS were relegated to runner's up position along with two other groups.

But hold your breath, everyone.
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While we did not emerge as best presentation, we clinched the PRESTIGIOUS DIRECTOR'S AWARD with the following 500 words!

BN3101, Biomedical Engineering Design assembled a team of six people, heralding from different ages, nationalities, and cultural backgrounds. United towards a common goal of perfecting the total wrist arthroplasty conundrum, our diversity enabled us to explore different perspectives to this multi-faceted problem. Starting out with six disparate designs, weeks of adaptation and accommodation gradually converged the best elements of each design to one original idea.

It was in consensus that this module has differentiated itself from other NUS project modules. The concept of adopting a Quality System Template whereby each member was tasked to an allocated specialization further provided a holistic depth of realism. This enabled us to pick up new skills such as CAD drawing with Solidworks, appreciate the intricacies behind a patent application, the workings of FDA etc. This in turn, gave us a slice of what a potential bioengineering job might entail in the future.

Apart from the academic aspect, BN3101 has successfully bonded the six of us as a team. With camaraderie forged, we could trust one another to complete our individual tasks before every meeting, further easing the burden of a difficult module.
The impact of BN3101 was not only observed as a group, but felt on a more personal individual level.

As leader of Group 12, Kenny acknowledges the difficulties in managing a diverse group while taking on an equally daunting project task within a tight schedule. Yet, BN3101 has convinced him that team work was the geist to handling massive projects. By and large, Kenny has thoroughly enjoyed the whole working process and unforgettable experience.

Puay Han contends that BN3101 has increased her knowledge about product development process and product marketing. She hopes that this useful course of learning would be applicable to future career option.

Krizia appreciates the formidable task of solving a real-world medical problem by translating an abstract idea to a concrete design solution, and compelling her “to think, act and talk like a real design engineer”. Furthermore, she values the opportunity of an actual self-made entrepreneur/orthopedic surgeon as a principal instructor of BN3101, who has enriched the learning process.

Like Krizia, Wayne agrees that BN3101 is especially challenging when it comes to designing a solution which is able to meet the needs of patients and surgeons while maintaining its practical feasibility. He posits that unlocking this perennial problem would be creativity.

Unexpectedly, BN3101 has unraveled the meaning of being a bioengineer for Qian Lan. She fondly recalls how this module has taught everyone to be open-minded and allowed the final prototype to be a marriage of various innovative features from different members.

Last but not least, Kelvin is enlightened on the inherent limits of learning through top-down pedantical knowledge and how BN3101 has done the exact opposite. He concurs that “only through learning how to learn, can the learning experience can be truly be expanded beyond boundaries.”

All in all, we as members of Group 12 hope that BN3101 will continue to be a cornerstone to NUS Bioengineering course.

LOL.
Okay, the award ain't that prestigious, because submission was optional and carries absolutely no grade weightage. Nevertheless, it was more of a cheap thrill that my last minute effort to compile, collate everyone's thoughts and ideas paid off.

The day ended with a unimpressionable Quantum of Solace at Vivocity, which was probably more forgettable for Qian Lan who slept through most of the movie.

Korean Kim Chee, a formidable mentorThe white man behind NUS BIE nightmares

On hindsight, BN3101 was most painful because there was so much self-learning to be done. But it was ironically enjoyable because everyone was suffering together. As they always say, misery loves company.

So yeah, guys and gals of Group 12/averNUS, you have truly been of great company.

Rantings of an Underperforming Bioengineer

30th May 2008 was a day of dread and hopeful anticipation for NUS students as it marked the release of results. To me, the release of results had traditionally been my pinnacle of distress colluded with cruel curiosity.

In my first semester as a freshman, I received my results in the form of an sms delivered to my handphone. I can recall vividly how I was taking an afternoon snooze, only to be awakened by this "random sms". It took me a while to digest the contents, before realizing that it was my results.

This semester, the day of destructive joy or joyful destruction fell on a Friday, the day I was slogging off in IBN. It was a kind of cheap thrill, but I logged in promptly around noon on the confocal-microscope-connected-computer in the cell culture room.

And indeed, I managed to chalk up more than just a first in checking my results in a new location. If I had to surmise my emotions in two words, it would be "Disturbingly Painful".

Nonetheless, I thought I took the faux calamity in stride. Still, it really got me thinking about the point of my university education. After all, I would be in my final Honours year as a Bioengineering undergraduate in NUS after my 3 month internship in IBN.

A preoccupation with grades

Grades in the form of CAP (in NUS) or GPA (in NTU) is easiest, most convenient and realistic way of segregating the academic prowess of each individual student. Yet whether it's fair and holistic would be contentious.

As an under performing student in NUS, I would vehemently protest against the ritualistic use of CAP as a sole criteria for various programmes such as scholarships and overseas exchange opportunities. However, any other alternative methodology I can think of would probably paralyze the inefficient administrative staff.

So unfortunately, students have been noxiously shelved in a caste-like system:
First-Class, Second-Upper, Second-Lower and God forbid... Third-Class.

With my languishing CAP, I have often asked myself unhelpful questions like:
1. Should I have studied harder?
2. Maybe I shouldn't have gone out on weekends during the semester.
3. Have I been studying stupid (as opposed to studying smart)?
4. Would I have excelled if I chose NTU instead of NUS? (Apologies for being politically incorrect but that is what my narrow-minded brain loves to explore groundless speculations.)

Of course, as soon as I ask myself these questions, my schizophrenic other-half would toss up a counter-argument and rationalizes that I had put in all the effort that I can.

An Epiphany (Okay, maybe epiphany is a bit of a stretch.)

But I've come to conclude that:

Hard work is not a definite guarantee for good results.

I performed worst on the semester when I burnt almost all my Saturdays in NUS doing tutorials and revising my work. The modules which gave me the worst results were also the ones which I invested the most time and effort. On the other hand, my aces came from modules which I hardly tore my head over.

Diligence is a key to success, but it is not the only key.

As such, I can no longer allow the illusive goal of better results to be the key motivation in my last year of study. While I will probably not curtail my inane senseless habit of staying back late at night in NUS to do work, or my religious completion of tutorials, I officially refuse to be led by the endless array of stress.

So what now?

I am a bioengineering undergraduate who can write better than I solve equations; play the piano better than I can tap the calculator; prefer perusing political books to scientific journals.

In a couple of months, I would be the lao-cheow (old bird) in the undergraduate community. As the decision between an academic route and a non-academic one becomes more pressing, I can only pray for light at the end of the tunnel.