& my world will be coloured.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

I'm so damn bloated...

Went to watch white noise just now, was supposed to watch a very long engagement, i never like horror show in the first place, but my gf wanna watch, so ok then, though i keep closing my eyes shut from start of movie.. a waste of money, but is the companion.. Full from the food we ate just now, wow.. it is a lot. And we didn't finish it up, as usual.. like to order in variety. back from my short sight seeing of little india on bike with my gf. took photos on the way too, cos my friend returned me my camera today, so here the photos..

Photo 1.. (Along Little India)

Photo 2.. (She ride, i sit)

Photo 3.. (I take pics, and she pillon me)

Photo 4.. (@ the traffic light)

Photo 5.. (Me while she is riding)

Photo 6.. (Me again)

(joanne) ♥ 3:03 PM

so much things to do, there's no time.

here alone today, only me came to school, my team members were not here. erm, powerpoint, weekly report due on mon, presentations due on mon, there are so many things by the way. but there's only one me. supervisor complain that my group members table are messy, lotsa rubbish underneath it, asking me to clear before i leave this stopover and go to the travel connect. I don't like it here, but i don't like there either.

Feeling sick and tired since last night, got a bad sore throat, don't know where did i get it from, i guess from the mocha oreo i drank in school. damn, its fattening cos they use chocolate ice cream instead of powder or syrup, yet i drink it, and now it caused me to lose bit of my voice. my gf say its sexy when i was sleepy last night while talking to her, but maybe it is because of my sickness. No use drinking water, cos it just didn't seems to get better. caught a cold and cough, a damn bad cough.. i can't kiss though i can give little pecks, cos i didn't wanna spread my virus to my partner, unless she don't mind getting virus from me. first time, viomit in the morning due to gastric i guess, but usually when it starts acting up, i don't viomit out stuff, but today i did. well, guess its just getting bad to worse. with so much illness in me, how am i going to survive over the weekend. feeling cold even after the aircon is off, wore my sweater, but it just seems so no use. Am i having fever? i don't know, don't ask me. cos i don't know how to go about feeling it, besides putting your hand on your forehead, i can't feel what is hot and not.

(joanne) ♥ 3:21 AM

Friday, February 25, 2005

Oh.. i'm in a dilema

TTC or MSC? i don't know what to choose. TTC, about travel, something that i like and will add value to my resume, because i always wanted to be in the travel line. MSC a place where you can meet people everyday, and more freedom, cos not much supervisor around, unlike TTC, 5 students to 3 supervisors? i guess so. damn stressed up, no breaks in between, only 1 hr lunch. can't go anywhere, and gotta come back on alternate weekends. but i like travel. so sacrifice? i think i made up my mind, choose TTC. so let me suffer the 6 weeks there. No choice. cos it helps in my future. i always wanted to give ticketing job a try, seems fun, but stressful if make a mistake. so if need to get any airtickets or package, erm.. ask me, but i think the price is still not cheaper than those outside, if you really find. cos i ask few times in school, its damn expensive even with the discount. that's what i felt, from the customer point of view.

that's it! no more changes and thinking...

(joanne) ♥ 8:12 AM

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Done my speech...

And i'm impressed, finish it less than what i thought. I missed out something, but just couldn't remember what. maybe my gf's presence, left me some time back, to get food and go home.. waiting for her phone call, as usual. she say she will call, means she will. Gotta charge my camera later, pack my bag and clothes for tomorrow, and wake up damn early to do some rehearsal for the presentation in the early morning. i'm just reminding myself here what i gotta do, cos tend to be forgetful. too much things to remember.

Rode fast in order to celebrate my mum's birthday before midnight strikes, with my gf around this year. erm.. my mum ask her to cut the cake, do the dirty job? lol.. was honk by a damn blue mercedes, and both me and the driver turn and give each other a damn stare, and i just rode off, with him behind me. i like that feeling.

Gotta go to the hospital tomorrow, with my gf as what we thought, or i thought. erm... a long day await of me. when will i ever get rid of it?

(joanne) ♥ 5:20 PM

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

back in school as usual..

came late, i did it on purpose, couldn't get enough of sleep cos slept late last night. trying hard to fall asleep, eventually did catch some, but its just ain't enough. slept only for few hours, and gotta face computer more than my sleeping hours. gotta rush this damn report out by today, thought can slack a little, but nope nope. was reading msgs while i was still asleep, i always do that, and in the end, i don't know what those msgs were saying. cos i'm half asleep when i woke up. dreams, i'm not so sure if i did create one, but i don't think so, cos i can't really remember what is it all about. maybe some silly dreams, hoping that love is always true, and that your love will never leave? why am i feeling like this out of sudden? Cos of all these things i faced alone? My friends are all on block leave this week, leaving me alone, maybe this week is the week that i will shed some weight that i gain from that trip?

somehow things won't get so complicated as i wish. so i rather just walk over it. is hard to forget moments cos they had already become part of my life. it doesn't matter if things were ever important in the first place. cos is my choice to comment on it. some things you just don't have to let everyone know, then there's when world will become a better place for everyone of us.

Missing you & moments that we share..

(joanne) ♥ 1:55 AM

Monday, February 21, 2005

i'm back

been days i last wrrote my blog.. opps, the keyboard is oily, thanks to the meat i'm enjoying in my mouth right now.. tasty... guess i put on alot of weight after this few days there. ate about 4 meals everyday and every meals are just so heavy. went the ship twice for lunch or dinner, maybe both.

Something garlicky & cheesy.. not the inside

i hate escargoes still, erm... but i like the cheesy garlic surrounding it, the chicken is nice, tender and soft. my fav tom yam soup, spice up my whole stomach, making it churn everytime but still, i managed to finish up all. dinner at petaling street was great, the butter prawns, though is very oily, but i love it. and the grilled stingray yum.. well, 2 thumbs up. genting food sucks as usual, lost alot of money there, but didn't keep thinking about it, well, i guess my gf did, wasn't determined enough to pull her away, spend every single cents we had, but lucky.. my gf brought enough $, i have no money 2 shop. well, just take the loss as my experience fees.. didn't go to the theme park, cos somehow nobody is playing. some rides are operating only, so head back to the room, or else is the food area.

its just so dead...

That's what we see from our room window..

i remember very clearly this incident, cos we saw the same men twice, the indian guys selling normal and jungle honey. at first when they approach us, they don't seem friendly, forcing us to buy, explaining to us the two honey, one darker and one lighter. but we don't understand what they talking about, erm... jungle, we heard it as another word, and there goes.. the laughter burst of cos, and they are not happy about it. well, 2nd day, they came again, cos we were eating at the street back of our hotel. well, asking us why did we laugh, and of cos, this time looking at my gf's face, no choice gotta control my laughter, and hoping praying that jere will not laugh, as usual.. she laugh alot, so i kept on drinking the whole tea, hoping those people would go away before my tea finish, or else i really don't know what else to do.

if everyday is just like todaY, there will be peace between the both of us. i love the moments that we shared and the snores that i hear every night. will be missing it. and i know i'm always such a lazy bone, been sleeping everytime. and of cos i remember, we owe each other a 30mins massage, and you an additional 4 mins from that last round of black jack we played.

school tomorrow, lotsa work awaiting for me to do...

(joanne) ♥ 3:37 PM

Thursday, February 17, 2005

16/2/04

Should i say a bad day or a good day? bad day b'cos i got a test today, and went to school late, haven't had my breakfast, but most importantly of all, quarrelled with my gf again, but thanks to someone who created an opportunity for us to be closer, to understand each other better, love each other more, and go through thick and thin together. after that incident, i felt that its hard for us to be apart, no matter what happen. Love to me, is just like the world is revolving around the both of us, and not surrounding others. that's my thinking. its about us, it's simply just everything of the both of me and her. everyone in the world can misunderstand me, and say whatever shit about me, i don't care, so as long as the words doesn't come out from your mouth, and i'm fine with it. its because of the words 'love', 'trust'. i often give someone the benefit of doubt, no matter what they said, cos its very simple, i just didn't wanna bother or know about anything anymore. things are not complicated if you can see it in abother way, for yourself, by yourself. just like i gave you the benefit of doubt last time, when you did the wrong things. But am i gonna tolerate all these nonsense?

What for, when the things doesn't concern us? doesn't concern me? what for, poke my nose into some stuff which turns out to be so complicated. my mind is tired, i hate all these games. just leave me alone and let me think for myself. i might pester you for answers, cos im curious but i don't see a need to lie, a need to be like this, cos i know i'm not, and you know that, and its enough. enough to end every conversations that we had. That's why i still love you. for the past coming 3 years, am i like this? is not worthwhile to gamble a r/s away just because of all these. and i'm not gonna be a fool for a second time again..

waiting to visit the doc......

(joanne) ♥ 4:35 AM

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

9.48pm

Bought the tickets, gonna pack my bag soon, and ready to go and have fun tomorrow. get out of here for a moment, and relax myself to the fullest. My brain is always dead, since past few days, feeling so full, bloated and sleepy. maybe that's why i couldn't study for my tomorrow's paper. it's only a test, but the thing is, i skip the lessons, didn't attend any of the lecture, hoping the thing will be easy, they said it is, but requires lots of thinking. which meant i gotta work my brain, but then its dead, numb, so how am i gonna study like that? erm... completely shut off, from those sleeps i just couldn't get enough of.

i skip lesson again, too tired to go to school, i don't know what will happen. is a workshop thingy where they say is compulsory, and cannot be missed. if only it's like last semester, where i can choose to come school or not, or miss the lectures and tutorial, i am and will be very happy, but of cos skip the exams.

But i gotta endure this, cos i haven't pack my bloody bag, which is very important. cos i don't like to do things last minute. and won't get to be home till evening, so why do i have time to pack my necessity etc?

i'm telling myself very hard to hang on, slurping my milk tea, hoping it can keep me awake. but why? the more i drink, the more sleepy i am? sigh... there's so many things to do, my time management failed again, it been a while since i felt this way. and i don't like it! i don't like the feeling of having so much things to do, and so little time to complete it. If only... my gf can help me pack my bag, but then again, i don't know what the things i want inside the big big bag...

(joanne) ♥ 1:55 PM

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

A day after the V'day...

Many things happen today, and past few days, but things are over, hopefully, i wish! well, start everything anew, cos i felt that, no point. i know that i'm being sacrastic towards some words the person said, especially with the "save your apology" cos 1stly, its doesn't sound sincere, 2nd... it seems like, appear like i gotta say sorry to her, which i felt that there no need to, but if wanna make things better for everyone, i will say, but it seems to be against my principles. cos i felt nothing is wrong about me! and sorry doesn't comes about easily...

Haven sleep, my gf just went home. thanks to her, who calm me down last night, i didn't break down, b'cos i don't see a need to. I felt disappointed, but i didn't wanna say anything else. I don't wish to be a stupid ass when she claimed i keep siding her. Almost lost my r/s this time round, for someone whom i recently know, but it doesn't matter. everything is over, so bury it, and let's move on.

well, i saw couple of my friends, my ex gf.. who is still with her gf! then the other guy who all my classmates claimed that he look like my other ex gf. and a girl whom sit behind me in MRC, we exchanged "kisses", one of my so called 'les' mates, though she is not 'les'! i didn't expect to see so many people around in just less than 10 mins. Coincidence i guess. destiny maybe.

V'day was great, ate and almost fall asleep there, though i didn't manage to finish all the food, which is so damn much. i tried, but i can't and failed to, and my gf know that i really can't take it, so she didn't say anything. i don't like to waste food, that's me, but this time i really can't.

The starting only...and then i'm full

Midnight pass, my gf kneel down in front of me, with a lily in her hand, and the tiffany ring she bought for me the day before. proposing to me, asking me if i wanna marry her, and be with her. an engagement i guess. i was only joking with jere to buy lily for me since she is buying flowers. well, i didn't know that my gf told her to buy for me, knowing that i love lily more than roses. that's so sweet of her, can't forget when she can kneel down in public with people around putting her pride aside, awww.... my heart melts!

The flower bloom..

Gonna sleep liaO!!

(joanne) ♥ 9:01 PM

A day filled with headaches, tears,....

heartaches, and pains...

lack of sleep= bad attitude & temper. which means stress too! too much things to handle early in the morning, i can't take it. feel upset, tired due to the things i heard and was said. i didn't know my status from 1 to become 0? sigh, lotsa sigh!

anyway, you owe me $ right? 600 bucks? i know what else you gonna say... but is a game.

Happy Valentine's DAY!

(joanne) ♥ 6:40 AM

Monday, February 14, 2005

tml is Monday, yesterday was Sat.. and Now?

Weekend gonna be over sooN, but i'm not going school tml, cos its my block leave week, but damn, i gotta be back on tues & wed, damn... So tired from daily mj sessions. now i know, cannot be greedy, or else no matter what luck you have, is still like that, you can't game.. so upsetting! i'm trying my every tiles to make colors. but still can't, what a luck! but overall, still win, though is a pathetic 2 bucks. :)

later gng out, with bui.. to buy my gf's pressie!!

(joanne) ♥ 9:01 AM

Sunday, February 13, 2005

what's wrong with tOday??

Every songs i heard, it just makes me think about you. i don't know if the radio went wrong, the songs they played, just makes me think more about you. remember some time back at ktv, there were few songs i didn't wanna sing, b'cos it makes me think back about the past. its not only with you, but when i sing with my friends or my ex-gf, this song, "miss you like crazy".. just makes me tear and think of the past, its a song that i can never sing till the end of the song. I'm praying hard that the next song they play will not be another song that will makes me think of you. For better or worse, i am still im love with you.

(joanne) ♥ 6:26 AM

It's saturday...

So fast, time has passed, its already sat. ermmmm... tired as usual, been sleeping late for the past few days, its either mj, or else my show... date with vampire is bit boring in the first place, but after a while, its getting more and more interesting that makes me wanna keep on watching and watching.

V'day is coming, is just 3 days away i guess. well, no presents prepared. maybe buy her a tiffany ring too? or something that she likes? cos i didn't get to go out alone, i'm always with her, no matter where. cos of mj. but i know she is too tired of mj. i know that. Black angus, where i used to spend my b'day there, with my family and i don't think with my gf before. did we? i remember we ate there once.

i'm down with a flu.. i hate it, since morning till now, been blowing my nose everytime, i don't wish to fall ill, i don't wish my menses come. so is it possible? erm... i hope so, i hate when i got that especially i'm going holiday.

oh... ya, my dad might be going overseas again! same week as me, if his things are confirm.. so at this point of time, no cheers yet! anw, i still won't get to see him, so i hope he goes after i come back from my trip!

(joanne) ♥ 5:45 AM

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

What a damn day to start off with...

Early morning, just arrived, was told that many of the block leave days were affected. gotta come back on 17 for a damn workshop. but i'm leaving singapore on the 16th. i try to postpone my trip already, and now, on the 17th, something's on. im not gonna be bothered by it. gotta find teachers to inform them, its very irritating. gotta come back on the 14th to do project. what a day, but no choice, cos 10 days later, its presentation time... tomorrow is new year eve, so gotta be happy no matter what, or else the rest of the week will be sucky. i'm waiting for new year, not cos of red packets, if have... never mind also, i like, but new year is the day whereby i can play mj w/o any objections. cos its the new year what...

Happy new year to all! :)

(joanne) ♥ 1:38 AM

Friday, February 04, 2005

*goOd Day*=didn't see her so often

My friends are all not here today, all on MC. leave me here alone, feeling so bored, but nvm, left 5 more hours to go and then off to the KTV. Meeting her again to pass her the new year cookies that she bought from me, and also the cornflakes. honey one, made specially by me. well, so sweet uh?? there... this is the one...

but she complain too sweet.. what a comment, but this time, its not as sweet as the first one. So not that bad. well, waiting for my lunch time actually. hungry i guess. though i ate just now, 2 chicken pie and 1 bun, well.. i don't know whats wrong with my stomach, its not acting the right way. been feeling like this since last week. *sigh* sometimes i just can't take it. the hurt just come and go.

Last night i watch the "my Date with vampire part 3", its boring. maybe its not the exciting part yet, maybe im feeling tired yesterday. but the show wasn't that good compare to the part 2 one.

feel like eating apple strudel.. i'm drooling when i think of it. its just so delicious. I'm in a damn f**king bad mood, cos im just too tired to think. that's all for now.

(joanne) ♥ 4:43 AM

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Another sunny aFternoOn...

so tired and bored after coming back from the walks. Can't stand it though i didn't see her face often today. Went to place order for the cookies before i leave school later, finish giving out notes for the surveys, f***ing students who didn't bother to answer the calls that i made the day before. One guy asked for my name, wondering why my face so unhappy. of cos, imagine chasing them. i don't like to chase people especially when i don't like them. or even know them. Chasing is just so tired, and shag.

Moreover, the weather is like so hot, making me sweat. which i hate alot, cos i'm meeting my gf later for a while, she got appointment. She is just addicted to mj, just like me. been playing, well.. i guess she must be real shag and bad Mood. and so there goes me...

(joanne) ♥ 4:05 AM

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Haha...ha

Today, since i came in, haven't see her at all, maybe she is not in only for morning, what about afternoon? enjoy school today, cos didn't get to see the sight of her, that show how much she disgust/ irritate me. Been very hungrry since morning.. didn't eat my breakfast in the morning, cos i ate cheese bread at home, so only drank a can of pepsi with salt to soothe my throat, they say it works, well.. ya, maybe it did. cos it seems like better now, a little better only.

Got to do power point later after lunch, this time research and more research, i guess by the end of this stopover, i hate research very much.

**Sigh** Even i know is not good to sigh early in the morning, i JUST CAN't HELP IT!! A new month ahead... It's gonna be month of FEB!

(joanne) ♥ 3:09 AM