Follow Your Dreams - Even if Only "Half-Way"

I have owed a couple people this post for a long time.
My apologies.
I always have the best intentions and love to be available to people who take the time to email and ask questions.  Sadly - I have "yogurt brain" as a friend of ours calls your brain when you are pregnant and I'd... as my husband says, forget my butt if it wasn't attached.

Precious hugh?

So...
Has it, is it worth it to follow our dreams - if only Half-Way?

Many have been curious about our decision to leave our beautiful, historic home "in-town" to follow our dream of raising our kids in the country.  And if you followed along closely you know it was NOT a stress-free or ideal transition.  Personally, I suffered a lot last year.  More than I imagined would ever be involved.  Loss of pride.  Onset of panic attacks.  Stress, stress and more stress.

While Chicago is amazing (as far a culture goes, if you can afford it) - Chicagoland is horrendous.
The traffic alone is enough to make me forget who my Savior is.  I am NOT a "Christian driver".
I've said it before - this area is NOT designed for a blue collar career and a stay-at-home Momma.  Ack.  Tres cher.

We want out.  Door County perhaps???  Or somewhere warmer?

If I had a farm in Door County with a rental cottage would you come a vacation with us??? 

We began our search about three years ago.  Every time Joel had a day off we would pile the family in the truck and drive and drive and drive.  With EVERY spare minute I had  I was scouring the internet for a farm for us.  We wanted an old house, at least two acres and outbuildings with the rights to dig a garden and have chickens.  High hopes.

Fat chance.

Then one day it happened.  I checked Zillow - a place I had never checked before.  And there, just 17 minutes from our home was a farm.  A dump.  For rent.  Overpriced.  But it was within driving distance of Joels job, ballet, our church and family.  And, as much as we were trying to get out of Illinois we had NO success finding anything just across the border in Wisconsin that met our criterea.  This farm is literally two minutes from the border.

Why would we work so hard on a place that wasn't ours?
Was it worth it?


We wanted a place to feel like home.  What if it takes 5 years to save for this Door County dream?  There is NO WAY I wouldn't hang a chandelier or picture just because I was renting.  There is no way I would go that long without a garden.

So yes, we did practically kill ourselves between October 15th and December 1st of last year.  (and managed to get pregnant!)  No, this is NOT our dream farm.  That's why we call it "Half-Way Farm"  (it's half-way down the road and half-way to our dreams).  Lot's of you tease me that we will end up buying from our landlord, who taunts us to buy the place all the time - but no, we won't.  The surrounding 224 acres if for sale, zoned as a sub-division AND with the garden disaster as mentioned on FB last week - no way. 

But yes, for those of you longing to be in the country, for those longing for more space, less keeping up with the Jones' , more quiet, more eggs, more freedom for your kids - is it worth it to rent?  YOU BET IT IS!

Anything we have done has been an improvement.  When we leave we will put down grass seed in the garden (if the landlord wants us to), we'll take down the chandies and put up his hideous old lights, we will disassble the chicken run and hire a company to haul the chicken coop to wherever we go.  (Every piece of the run and goat pen are numbered and there is a corresponding drawing - we will take it apart and re-build it wherever we go.  Not letting anything go to waste).

As far as why we would do the chickens, goats and our plans next year for pigs and bees... well, just like at our old house, we are trying to learn as much as possible about "homesteading".  I learned so much in the last 5 years... reading, reading, reading, gardening, canning, keeping illegal chickens in-town...   The more I learn, the more I want just about NOTHING to do with storebought food for my family.  Though, I know, that is a HUGH statement and even bigger commitment when in action. We are "learning on the job" if you will.  Hubby wants the whole kit-n-kaboodle on the "big farm" - orchard, dairy cow, beef cow, CSA, etc.   So yes, for now, we are "faking it til we make it"  --  I am raising a turkey for the holidays and trying to sell his buddy, we are on local harvest.org even though we really don't have much to sell, we have an adorable web site, though thanks to our "toxic" soil the garden is a bit of a disaster... it's all practice.  All the work -  It's all brought our family together and it's all been worth it.

Some practical advice (that you probably already know already!)
*About renting -- if you see a house that is for sale and it's been for sale for a long time - by all means, get aggressive.  Give a call - see if they'd like to rent it.
*DON'T be afraid to ask for a discount on the rent.
*If the property that you like is agent represented (and for rent) be sure to have a plan.  When we saw this place it was clear that it had been rented to... and you'll pardon me... white trash for years and years.  And, it had been empty and for rent for months already - that is income LOST to a landlord.  AND keep in mind, the landlord has to pay that real estate agent a commission when it's rented out - most likely the equivilant to one month's rent.   So here is what we did - we put a proposal together... full color, photos of our family, our story, what we were looking for.  We set out to impress the landlord and show that we were NOT hillbillies (as clearly his previous tenants had been).  We offered to sign a three-year lease (saving him that yearly agent commission output) and clean the place up in exchange for a discount on the rent.  We low-balled him.  BIG TIME.  I think we offered $500 less a month and he ended up coming down $100 on paper and $100 verbal ($200 total) in exchange for the receipts so he could have the tax right off on the work done.   Not bad.  We worked for 6 weeks and got it cleaned up and we will live here for at least 3 years with it looking decent - I'd say that's worth it.  After all, each year the place had gone empty when the lease was up, sat for a couple months and then he would have to pay the commission again to the agent.  That's THOUSANDS out of his pocket.  He's getting a great deal - and I am getting the white plank floors I have always wanted.

Now - we have a great rapport with our landlord.  He says yes to just about every request (like goats) - at first he thought we were a bit nuts but after 8 months of on-time rent and no one shooting shot gun shells into his junkie pontoon parked out back I think I really respects us!  (The last guy for example used the cistern as a BURN PIT!  We have it as a small decorative pond!) 

When I walk these three acres, it's all been worth it.
When I can park my truck in the grass under the tree away from the scorching sun, without looking like the white trash of the neighborhood - it's all been worth it.
When I can gather eggs in my nightgown - it's all been worth it.
When I consider being out from under a huge, Chicagoland mortgage - it's all been worth it.
When I see my kids running free, instead of begging to ride their bikes "around the block" without me - it's all been worth it.
When I see them growing in responsibility as they care for animals I NEVER thought we would have (24-60 chickens at any given time, two baby goats, three kittens and a cistern full of goldfish) it's all been worth it.
When I see my husband building, mowing, growing and playing with the kids in the farm yard - it's all been worth it.

So, buying or renting - should you take the plunge and get out of the city?  As fast as you can girl.  There is no day where you will walk out to gather those fresh eggs, dew on the grass, that country smell in the air and regret your decision.

Ever.

If you've got more questions I will answer them in the comment box.
Hope this was what some of you had in mind when you requested this post.

Fondly, from the farm!
-Angela, Parisienne Farmgirl

Half Way Farm... Week One (VLOG)

No... we are not in yet.

Probably another month.  

It's floor to ceiling boxes around here.

Probably gonna be doing a lot of "vlogging" lately. 

(Though the sound of my own voice gives me the heebies.)

It's been a long week.

The farm is now carpet-free.

Ick.

Oh, and a big thank you so my Sister and BIL (who kneeled into a two sided screw while pulling carpet- please pray for him, he's a- hurtin').  They helped us for 4 precious hours the other day.  As you can imagine - with four little ones ANY help feels like the National Guard has come to the rescue.  

Check back soon...

The before and afters are incredible.

Oh, and, it's true...

"La Ferme a mi-chemin"  does NOT work.  Thanks to some helpful French major bloggers and my new Parisienne friend that I found at the kids AWANA club (of all places).

My own French tutor, Patrick (from Brittany) is visiting the "mother-land" and will be back on the 13th so between the two of them we hope to come up with something au français that resembles our English name of Half Way Farm - meaning that it's our temporary farm as we save for our dream farm.

Darn French language.

 

(Don't mind the Owl hanging from my mirror.  It was a gift for my Niece that I was so paranoid I was going to forget to give to her yesterday so I hung it from the mirror for the week!)

Now, I have been an in-town girl my entire life - (with lots of country exposure though) and one thing that IS going to be really weird is feeling alone and exposed. (Between coyotes and loons I'll be packin' all the time if you KWIM).   I have to say, I really like how private this farm is as you will see when we pull in the drive.  And, the area is soooooo forested and spacious at the same time.  We back up to 225 acres!!!!  I just love that!  We are, after all about 50 yards from Wisconsin.  We tried our best to get our of this wretched state of Illinois, but at least we've got one toe over the border! :)

 

Oh, and I swear, the weird sounds you hear on some of these videos are NOT me getting ready to hock one.  It's my daughter - she went thru a phase last week of making these freekazoid animal growls.  Irritating.  I swear there is a point on one of these videos where it sounds like a I need a spitoon.  It is NOT me.  It's Miss Kitty.

So....

More to come.

I would have posted this 4 days ago but my video camera is the size of Will Ferrals phone in that old SNL skit with Pierce Brosnan ("It's Cloë.") and I am forever losing it.  This time it was actually charging in the back of the Mac - woopsie.  

These videos look so crappy - maybe I will use YouTube the next time.

Until then.  

        

Tomorrow. Tomorrow!

Tomorrow we get the keys to the farm.

Oh-my-goodness.

The tears are flowing a bit more regular these last few days.

The babies have been born IN this house.

Here is where the last decade of memories have been made.

This is all so bittersweet.

11 More Days to Half-Way Farm

I'll never forget the exact moment four years ago when I knew I had to live on a farm.  

Winter was winding down and the day was pleasant- We bundled the kids and went outside to let them play in the soggy grass out back by our potager (back when we had a small yard-- before the potager expansion).  Typically, at that time of year my gardeners heart surges with joy but as I sat back there all I could think was, "This is not enough." Not a very "content" thought, I know.

But, I looked over at Joel and I could tell, he felt it too.

Why we had never pursued our own farm before is really beyond us.  We can't figure it out.  I come from a family of farmers and Joel and I both have a very distinct "love of land."  But nonetheless, that is the day that we began to talk about making it a reality.

.

.

.

In eleven days we get the keys.

I can hardly stand it.

A little over 3 acres.  

Not much.  

But so much more.

Half Way Farm.

(a-mi chemin ferme... or is it la ferme a mi-chemin?)  Can someone who really knows help me with this -- I don't trust myself or google translate.  I always second guess myself with the order of the words, especially an expression like this that starts with "a") 

If it's wrong, I will change it...

But I put this together cause I am so excited.

"Half Way" because we won't be here forever.  More on that some other time...

In 2013 we are going to raise chickens for meat & eggs (blue, brown and chocolate),  keep bees... for our own honey!  Grow vegetables, sunflowers and other flowers for bouquets and in the fall we will have Cinderella pumpkins.   Our farm is just outside a very popular antique town so the kids and I hope to put out a sign and sell our goodies (and maybe some French inspired restyled antiques) on a little farm stand.  

The place is so gross.  We have SO much work to do before we move it.  When we get the keys on the 15th I am bring my video camera so I can give you a tour.

I can't believe this is happening....

Hey Girl,

Guess what I am getting on October 15th...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

THE KEYS TO MY FARM!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Half Way to Half Way Farm

So... We heard back from the realtor.

Our low ball was a bit too low for the landlord but he did say he doesn't care what we do to the place.

So... We re-pitched and are waiting to hear back.

Oh my goodness.

I may be spending Thanksgiving on "my" farm.

Exactly what I said I wanted last Thanksgiving when we decided to sell the house.

Still praying and holding my breath.

Oh yeah... since we will be renting while we save money for our true dream farm we will be calling this farm "Half-Way Farm"

But I do think it will need a killer French name too - don't you???

Waiting to Exhale

So...

Last week we found a farm.

It's wonderful.

It's also pretty gross.  Like, 35 year old carpeting gross.

I hate carpet.

It's in a very nice and beautiful area so, we got creative and wrote up a (rather lovely) proposal for the landlord... offering to bring the house into the 21st century in a myriad of ways and sign a nice long lease... in exchange for a discount on the rent (his price seems a bit high based on the funky-ness of the house).

We sent everything off last Thursday... I don't think I have taken a breath since then.

We just love this house.

I know there are a handful of you that have written me to say that you pray for my family and I every day...

Keep it up!  And thank you so much!!!!!!!!

Bonne Semaine!

-Ang

Holding ON!!!!

Wow.

My plate is so full it has spilled out onto the table, over the edge and out onto the floor.

Thank you Jesus and Turbo Fire I haven't lost my mind... yet.

Houston... it looks like we have an offer.

To Do:

Moving Sale

Finish Christmas magazine

Finish Curriculum planning

Start school

Baby Boys first birthday

Film Macaron DVD

Start packing

Not to mention the most intense month of the Turbo Fire schedule yet begins on the 31st.

Oh Yeah... Lest I forget...

FIND A PLACE TO LIVE!!!!! 

Don't panic.

I saw this on Anne Lorys (Fiona and Twig) Facebook page (she found it on "Buckle Up Bitches"... sorry) and let me say... it resonated.

This is EXACTLY HOW I FEEL!!!!

 

I may be a little scarce the next couple weeks. 

 But yes, I am working on the Branding/Blogging class.

If you need me and are privy to my phone number, give me a ring or shoot me an email- ---be patient :)

Love you girls!

Looks like my farm could be right around the corner!

Now, if I could just find it!

I'm Blogging and I Share It

Between Lil' Fred and the Peterson Bros.

The kids and I have had some fun dancing around the computer

these last few days!

These guys rock.

I love farm boys in their dirty clothes... 

reminds me of childhood memories

 from my Grandparents farm (of my uncle and his buddies).  

Some day... real soon I'm gonna have my own 

farm boys in dirty clothes.

It's gonna happen.

Enjoy.

The "I work out (side)." part is my favorite.

More Farm Dreams... Sort of.

Big giant buzz kill.

Yesterday we were going to have our first showing (our home has been on the MLS for two weeks now) and we were SO excited.  We whipped this house into shape, flipped on all the lights, opened the windows, fluffed the pillows and went to wander the aisles of Target full of hope and dreams... We have looked at A LOT of old homes and though this house is far from perfect, it is charming and we just feel that if we could simply get some one to WALK THRU it, 

well,

 that it would sell.

Turns out, they, whoever "they" were, 

found a house right before this one.  

The didn't even COME!

I was so bummed.

And then, I got an email from a friend up in Door County and she sent me this...

Hold on to yourself...

A french style barn girls.

In Fish Creek girls (a mon avis... the BEST town in Door)

ON COTTAGE ROW girls!!!

(Sort of) IN OUR PRICE RANGE GIRLS (assuming hubby could get a job or we get like 3,000 magazine subscriptions this week!  LOL!)

It's on tons of unaffordable acreage but they are offering the barn on a couple acres by itself...

OH!  I can't even STAND IT!

Look at this and dream with me.

I don't know if you've got vision but I can see this all done!

Totally rustic, french... totally provençal.  I can see it... sort of modern loft meets old stone maison...

Totally Parisienne Farmhouse.

I can see myself riding my bike down the hill, into town.

I can see the gorgeous storms rolling in off the lake on a steamy July evening.

I can see the herbs planted all around that stone foundation.

I can see my kids growing up like true "outdoorsy" Midwesterners.  Skiing, snowmobiling, kayaking...

I see a spacious open floor plan... 

and chickens pecking about outside.

(Wonder if they allow chickens on Cottage Row?)

Oh my goodness.

Four measly photos and I doubt I will be able to sleep this week.

Can you see the steam coming out of my ears from your spot in front of your computer?

I've got serious imagination issues and 

potential like this does not help. 

 Sigh.

A girl's gotta dream doesn't she???

DIY Greenhouse

So...

while we (I) are in a dreamy mood...

Someday on that farm I was stewing over yesterday, we are going to have a greenhouse.

A real greenhouse.

The kind you can walk in.  Not the big, hard, plastic thing with doors sitting on the window seat in my kitchen.  (Though I do love my little greenhouse).

There is a greenhouse in town here with brick floors... it's huge.  

The mind reels.

There is something about bringing the outdoors, in.

Like the gardens at the Opryland hotel - have you ever seen those?

I used to go every year for the BeautiControl convention.  You can actually take a boat ride thru them!

To satisfy this craving... (Because, let's say it's easier than satisfying my craving for a barn)  I give my front porch/sun room/office a sort of solarium feel with lots of plants and a fountain (though the fountain is in the repair shop, read: Joel's garage, due to a leak).

Someday...   a greenhouse.

How about connected to the kitchen?  

Sigh.

I'll do it myself if I have to... in the meantime...

Here are a couple to get your dreamy juices goin'! 

Oh, the one connected to the barn.

Talk about killing two birds with one stone.

So long as it's not a chicken:)

Creating up a storm for the launch party!  

A bientôt!

All images found under "gorgeous greenhouses" or "charming greenhouses" and Opryland Gardens  on Google Images.

Missing my Ladies. And Farm Dreams...

This spring I am really missing my chickens.

I am so mad I let them go.
Honestly, If I think about it too much I get that heaviness of depression.  You know the one, where you sigh and think, "Come on!  This is ridiculous."

At the time I really felt is was the right thing to do - since we are selling the home and it was such an emotional decision to do so... to put that For Sale by Owner sign in the front yard.  (We all cried.)   That decision coincided with when I would have had to really duke it out with the City to be able to keep them.

I felt that to be a good Momma, emotionally I couldn't do both.

I couldn't begin to detach from the house and try to explain to our Mayor why she is WRONG!

Now the for sale sign is there... for real now, with a realtor... in the MLS and everything...

 and it feels like it's never going to happen.  

There's a lot of talk around here from all of us about wanting to be on a farm.   Probably not enough talk about trusting God and His timing for us.  

 I've got to tell you... it's very hard when it's something we all want so bad.

Very hard.  

Everytime I open my back door or run out to the garage for something I swear I can hear their cooing and cackling.  A couple of weeks ago Aidan ran something out to the compost bin for me and went out the door calling "Ladies!" in his sweet, sing-song voice.  

He stopped dead in his tracks and turned with tears in his eyes to look at me. 

He too had forgot they were gone.

I hate things that are out of my control.  

I want our home to sell.  

We love it, our babies have been born here but we long to go for walks on our property and not around the block.  We long for more privacy.

And we can't wait to have as many chickens as we want.

In the meantime I am struggling with desperation.

Aidan will be seven in two months.  

We don't want to raise him in town.  

He is growing so fast.

Is this ever going to happen?

Just sharing my heart.