This is just to share our brief talk with Rica’s piano teacher as he sends us to the door after the lesson earlier this week. He said, “Rica, continue with your lessons and don’t stop playing the piano for someday you can replace Teacher (pointing his way). Whatever your profession may be, you can always play the piano or give lessons to children like what I do (he is a mathematician by profession who has passion for music). I will have you inherit my collections of books and all that I use to teach piano to children.”
We gave him our warm smile, said thank you and bid goodbye. As we walked home, I felt like crying because I was so touched with Teacher’s words. Consistent with what he told me during their first lesson, he sincerely believes in Rica’s musical giftedness.
I remembered Dr. Leonila Corpuz-Raros, the Mother of Philippine Acarology, my mentor, my friend. She saw me to be the next Acarologist who can continue with what she has started and who can have new beginnings in the field as well. She would also have me inherit her collections of specimens, books and journals…she believes in me.
For people of high standards, whom you look up to with high regard, to tell you they believe in you and in what good you can contribute to humanity is the best compliment you could ever ask for. It can erase any doubt you have in yourself and will motivate you to become better and pave the way in your pursuit of excellence.
As parents, we consciously show to our children our confidence in their capabilities because we understand that believing is being. Yes, we should be someone who believes in them, but we must not fall into the trap of false praising. When the child is made to believe that he is already doing great in something, he might think that no further improvement is necessary and consequently halt the development of his full potential. Another trap we might fall into is becoming delusional (believing into something our child is not and making the child believe in it as well). Start with discovering and enriching your child’s true talents then be someone who appreciates who he/she really is and who believes in his/her unique abilities.
For Rica it's music...and with her participation, we programmed her summer activities to include piano and guitar lessons. We hope to showcase what she has accomplished by the end of summer in a recital and music video (can't wait to share it with all of you...hehehe).
School has ended and our kids are looking forward to two months of summer fun and learning. Our eldest child, Rica, is 11, and the youngest, Nadine, is 2 years of age. Considering that our four kids have different interests, talents and developmental needs, we are planning a different set of summer activities for each. For a quick view, they are summarized in the table below. Enclosed in parenthesis in the first column is the frequency of the mentioned activity, while the numbers enclosed in parenthesis after our child’s name is their respective age. Expected output for each activity is also indicated whenever applicable.
Papa Sez and I believe in what Stephen Covey (author of Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) has shared - i.e. without involvement there will be no commitment. So we made consultations with them, especially the school-aged kids, before finalizing this table to ensure that the planned activities captured their interests and the targets set are achievable. When asked about activities that they consider FUN to do, ideas from Rica and Leon kept coming.
They decided to discontinue formal art lessons from their Tito Jay because apparently Rica has been contemplating on guitar lessons that she wanted to request from Tito Jay. They thought that two lessons from their uncle will be too much to ask. They even volunteered the household chores they wanted to learn this summer, so that our helper can relax a bit. Humility aside, we realized that we have added two considerate beings on earth.
There are activities specific to a child for talent enrichment or skills development. Some activities are interactive while others would require them to work on their own. There are indoor as well as outdoor activities. It is obvious that we are trying to strike a balance among several considerations like fun/excitement, talent enrichment, skills development, learning, family bonding, budget and many others.
We have openly expressed our view about the negative effect of too much television viewing (computer use included) on child development but because we also recognize that in the information age, computer literacy is part of the need of growing children. Therefore, a regulated computer time is permitted on top of the weekly movie time with the family.
The table may seem overwhelming with activities but please note the frequency of each such that the activities listed will not happen all together in a given week. Swimming lessons, for example, will be over in two weeks and will be replaced by another activity of their choice on the third week.
Rica is already preparing her weekly timetable, awaiting the final schedule of her piano lessons, and this will be featured in the next post. The agreement is for them to have a fun and fruitful summer but not to exhaust themselves too much and forfeit the main goal in the process. Leon’s checklist of activities and applicable expected output will also be prepared so that he is able to track his accomplishments.
The Computer Time Log is posted to effectively regulate computer use...They are already enlisted for their swimming lessons...Leon’s tomato seedlings are almost ready for transplanting...They are energized and eager to start the summer ball rolling!!!
Having a preprogrammed summer activities will help parents ensure a worthwhile summer experience for their kids. This will also help you identify what is expected of you and give you time to prepare. Having a line-up of ready activities will prevent your kids from bugging you with “We are so bored Mom, what do we do now?” Discussing the plan, especially with the older kids, will make them understand what to expect and what is expected of them. Always remember: No Involvement, No Commitment!
On top of everything, be sure to have fun yourself…Have a happy summer!!!
After a hectic day with two recognition programs for our school kids, Rica and Leon, who were both Academic Excellence Awardees (Gold Medalists), two meetings and a birthday dinner for our two-year old daughter, we still managed to wrap the day watching a Tinkerbell movie. It wasn’t our choice but it was what’s available in my brother’s collections that we haven’t watched yet, which turned out to be perfect for the day of recognition and birthday.
The story began with the birth of a new girl fairy. It was Rica who pointed out that fairies are born with every baby's first laugh. This particular fairy found out that she's going to be one of the tinkers, the fairies who make and fix things. She was then named Tinkerbell.
Watch how she found out she's a tinker and see her disinterest in her own talent right from the start (go to 04:50 in the video below).
She later longed to visit the mainland but learned that only nature-talent fairies are allowed to do so. Though she was good in doing the task assigned to her, employing her talent, she was never contented; she wanted to be something she was not meant to be. She tried her hand at nature skills but miserably failed in all of them. In fact, Tinkerbell destroyed all the preparations for spring in the pursuit of her misguided dream. When she realized the importance of her role as a tinker through her conversation with Terrence, the light-keeper, she decided to fix all the damages she made in no time such that spring can push through as scheduled. She invented machines that speed up the process of decorating flowers, lady beetles, etc., and summoned the rest to help her out. Spring pushed through, Tinkerbell redeemed herself and was even allowed by Queen Clarion to visit the mainland. An adversity that turned into an opportunity.
The movie taught us many lessons but I will discuss two that I recommend to parents to seriously ponder upon: (1) how to discover and appreciate one's own talent, and (2) the importance of working in synergy. Let us guide our children in discovering their own talent and appreciate it rather than they wanting to become somebody else because they don’t see the value of their own talent and potential contribution. Feeling secured about their role in a group, a family, a community, or an institution will allow them to work in harmony with the rest toward the attainment of a common goal.
Your talent is in action when you produce a great deal of output with less effort on your part but with so much happiness in your heart. When enhanced with the necessary skills and combined with knowledge, talent becomes strength.
(2) Synergy means 1 + 1 = 16. This is not poor mathematics but an illustration of the catalytic, unifying and empowering impact of creative cooperation exhibited by the fairies who worked together to save spring. When Tinkerbell learned to value differences, respect them and focus on her strength, she was able to prove her worth and opened new possibilities. She was able to work in synergy with the other fairies and they were able to accomplish a mission next to impossible. Appreciating the value of each and every individual’s contribution empowers everybody to deliver more than what is expected of them…that includes appreciating your own value.
Let us inculcate in the minds of our children the value of knowing and believing in thyself, the beauty of each person's uniqueness, and respect for these differences. Believe in the miracle of synergy wherein the whole becomes more than just the sum of its parts.
These lessons from the movie have the same essence in the response I made to my son’s query: “Mom, I am happy that I got a gold medal, but is Recognition Day important?”
Coming from Abba's Orchard School, a pure Montessori school since his Junior Casa days where pupils are not given numerical grades and are not ranked, today is his first Recognition Day ever and his second gold medal. The first one was when he won first place in a Spelling Bee. In that school they were taught to compete only with oneself so they continue to strive for excellence, and at the same time they are encouraged to cooperate with others. Because they continued to live this Maria Montessori value, I was not surprised that even as transferees, they were able to adjust well and excel academically.
This was my response; “Yes Leon, in this school they are recognizing pupils with scholastic achievement, with consistent good manners, as well as those who excelled in Quiz Bees and Sports Competitions. This motivates children to perform well in those areas. But more than medals, plaques and trophies, we want you to strive to be THE BEST THAT YOU CAN BE and NOT focus on trying to outdo others (i.e. comparing and competing with others). We do this by focusing on your talents and making them your strengths. You contribute more to the family and to society when you do more of the things that you do best, respecting what others do best but not to the point of wanting to be exactly like them.”
Note: One of Leon’s key talents is being a learner so we provide him the resources and opportunities for learning. He is also a science enthusiast and we support the experiments he wants to perform to test his ideas. He also has naturalistic intelligence so we let him explore his surroundings even if it means more insect bites. His interpersonal intelligence allows him to share his ideas to his playmates and every new person he meets. We know that he can never be an athlete so we don’t force the issue on him. He takes swimming lessons and plays ball games for skills development but we know that athletics will never be his strength and this didn’t diminish our love for him, not even a notch.
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