Segulah Guarantees

I'm so tired of blogging about segulot after almost 7 years of covering this ridiculous segula followed by the next abuse, that when the latest guarantee hit my email box, I barely noticed.  I saved the email just in case I got back on the blogging train, but it didn't phase me much.

In fact, the only reason I returned to the email this morning is that the Partial View and Kallah Magazine informed me that Rosh Yeshiva have made an announcement that this is an abuse, a desecration  and if anyone pledged, they can rescind their pledge I figured I'd post it.

The original text of the email is below.  You can see a Hebrew letter of condemnation at TPV signed by Roshei Yeshiva.  I hope this is sign that times are a changin'.  But, I'm fairly certain that this sort of snake oil is par for the course and the outcry won't make much of a change in the scheme of things after a decade of more and more of this.  Let's hope I'm totally and completely wrong!

The holy tzaddik Rabbi Yechiel Abuchatzeira, shlita, has revealed the unconditional SECRET: If you – or anyone you know – desperately needs a shidduch (to find your soul-mate) – your time is LESS THAN A MONTH AWAY! There are 5 reasons why good, deserving men and women like you are locked in a prison of loneliness, desperate, as their best years slip away like grains of sand between their fingers. Your Mazel is blocked Ayin Hara (evil eye) was put on you by someone jealous or angry (they are not even aware they did it to you!) You are terrified of “pulling the trigger” on the decision Pressure from family or peers is paralyzing you You are worried that “No one will want you” because of your appearance, or your health, or your less-than-perfect past Any one (or more) of the above reasons is enough to keep you from ever getting married and starting a family. Without removing these reasons you simply cannot move ahead – and each and every one of them will be removed this Tu Bishvat, Motzoei Shabbos, January 26th. On this day, the Adm”or, the Rabbi Abuchatzeira, shlit”a, the illustrious miracle-worker son of holy Baba Chaki, nephew of the holy Baba Sali, may the memory of tzaddikim protect us, will conduct the special Kabalistic rectification “Tikkun 1,000 Shofaros” for the removal of any – or all! – of the five reasons that are blocking the path to happy, complete Jewish life for people like you. The holy tzadik revealed that, according to Kabbalah, the rare and uniqueTikkun 1,000 Shofaros, performed at the gravesite of the saintly Tanna, Rabbi Yonasan ben Uziel, is the complete tikkun for people blocked from getting married. The tikkun, performed with kavanos (Kabbalah meditations and divinations) of the holy Ariz”l and the Rasha”sh, is the total rectification even for people who could not be helped by anything before! In addition 257 people who participate in the tikkun will also receive FREE a special package of segulos; amulets (kamei’os) and proven Kabbalah remedies for them to find favor in the eyes of others, protect them from present and future Ayin Hara, and open their path to an easy, quick and successful shidduch (match).  The holy tzadik HaGaon HaRav Yechiel Abochateira shlit”a said: The Adm”or Abuchatzeira shlit”a will perform the tikkun praying at the gravesite of Rabbi Yonasan ben Uziel along with 1,000 shofar-carrying Jews who will circle the gravesite, blowing the shofar with the kavanos(intentions) of the Rashash. The holy Rabbi Abuchatzeira will bring with him a list of the people registered to participate in the tikkun. He will look at your name and that of your mother, know from it the nature of the exact obstacle that is blocking your mazel, and pray for you personallyby name. Please be aware that just 257 “match sets” were prepared by the Rabbis and Kabbalists of the Yeshiva Yeshuos B’Amuka. In view of the many people clamoring to participate, those packages will be given away FREE to people who register on a first come-first serve basis ONLY. Don’t miss out.