guys, i swear i'm not dead!

well, i'm sure you've all noticed how quiet its been around these parts lately. really, there's no good explanation for it. but i can say that i haven't had much to write about recently and i guess its been taking a toll on the blog. i said a while back that i didn't want to force things with the blog and i didn't want to write about things that didn't mean something, or something i didn't believe in or feel like it was 'me'. i don't want to copy other people's posts and i don't want this blog to be like all the other blogs out there. that would just be silly. i'm not going to write about popular things just because they're popular and it'll get me more pageviews or followers. that's not what i want this thing to be. so, this being said, sometimes i run out of things to say. things get quiet around here. and yea, that sucks. but if you guys just ride out the silence with me, i'm sure i'll come up with some awesome stuff sooner or later! AND if there's anything that you guys would like to see come out of this, let me know!!

 so stay patient, my friends i'll get back into the swing of things soon!

(p.s. if you're wondering how i got my photo to look like that check out 

the stellar post that the darling lauren of the perfect pear wrote up the other day!)

an explanation.

so in my last post i talked about how crazy things have been with me of late. and let me tell you, the sure have...to the point where i've been really lost. its not like i'm super busy, that's not it. actually i've spent most of my time watching day-time talk shows and eating peanut butter and honey sandwiches. this might sounds absolutely insane to some, but its true. i think i've just been 'stuck'. you know those kids-senior year in highschool and they have absolutely no clue what they want to do with their life. should i go to school? do i even want to go to school? should i get a job? should i travel? you know super indecisive. i was never that kid. i always knew what i wanted, where i was going, what i was going to do. i knew BEFORE i got to high school, before middle school even. i didn't know exactly what school, but i knew i was going to college and that i wanted to study art. and then i did. i graduated- with honors, got a job, a boyfriend and was paying back my loans on time. i was good. i did everything i was supposed to. and i did it in a timely manner. and then my mom got sick. and then she died. and then i quit my job. and then my boyfriend broke up with me. and then i couldn't pay back my loans.

and here i am...that senior in high school that doesn't know what they want, or where they want to be in life. and it sucks. it sucks so fucking hard.

i've been wanting to go back to school for a very long time. but with everything else that's been happening, i just threw it on the back of the burner and focused on other things. i got another boyfriend...and then he broke up with me too. and now i'm back to figuring out what to do. but i think i've finally figured my shit out. i'm going to focus on me for a while. i'm going to be the main focus of my story for alittle while. i'm going to go back to school for graphic design and i might even move out of my dad's house. yep, i'm going to attempt to be a big girl finally.

of course i'm still going to work on order & chaos, i'm so in love with it. i'm still going to do my art and still going to do festivals, when i can. but i'm going to try and do something with my life again instead of wasting time in front of the tv, crying about a boy and not bettering myself for the future. if i don't, no one else is going to. so i have to make the move. and i'm going to.

a vanishing act.

hey everybody. sorry i've been so absent recently. i've been trying to find a balance within my life the last few weeks. things keep changing so very drastically with my world lately and i've been struggling with it. i can't seem to find that middle ground of my personal life, my internet life, and my career. and as far as my career goes, i don't know where its going at this point. my internet life-i've been ignoring and that sucks. my personal life is just all kinds of topsy-turvey and its been just a whirlwind of insanity. so please stick with me, as soon as i get things smoothed out, i'll be back. i know some of you have emailed me in the past week or two and i'm trying to get to then, i promise i will soon! please stay patient. i just wanted to let you know whats been happening and that i'm still here, just not exactly here. ya know. i'll be back though.

painting progress vol. 2 and a rant.

hey you guys...
i know it's been awhile since i did this segment. things have been super crazy lately but i had a minute today to work on this piece so i figure i should share it with you because...ya know....i said i would!

i'm working on the line work still. i've got to tweak the hair alittle bit more and maybe do alittle work on the face and then it's time for color!! yippee! it's my favorite part, i love painting the skin.

in other news, if you follow me on twitter @hollyerinn, you will already know this...but you know how yesterday i told you how excited i was about the photo shoot that we were doing??? yea. that didn't happen. i don't like to complain on here, everyone has problems and i try and keep this place as up beat as possible. but today, i've got to let off alittle bit of steam....
so, this is what happened. this young girl, from our area contacted me via etsy conversations looking for someone to photograph her so that she could build up her portfolio because she's trying to get into modeling. well, i thought this would be a wonderful opportunity for amanda, myself and this girl to all benefit. i've been wanting to photograph our jewelry work and hats and such and amanda can always use a new face to do her beautiful makeup on so i was all about it!
this girl was up my butt for about 3 weeks about getting this thing going. but as you all know, life has been insane for us girls around here lately so we scheduled it for yesterday. i told her this like over a week ago. so yesterday early afternoon, i get a message saying 'can't, you didn't get back to me soon enough' or something along those lines. WHAT??? i told you a week ago! and i messaged you a day and a half before the scheduled day to give you all the specific details!!!
to say the very least...i was mad (i'm trying not to cuss). amanda and i had everything set up for the shoot yesterday morning for everything to go down in the afternoon. ugggh....now we have to re-plan and reschedule the entire thing. i was really hoping to have a look book and gorgeous photos to share with you by monday. yea, that's not going to happen. alright, i'm done venting. we will get this done. i promise. if you made it through this entire rant, i'm proud of you. thanks for reading and dealing with me still being angry about some silly teenager being a silly teenager. but i've learned my lesson. i'm done.

love you all!
XOXO,
holly