Redemption Song

This week has been tough. Since last Sunday's post, things went downhill wicked fast. I spent the better part (worst part) of twenty four hours in the local hospital with what we were afraid was a heart attack. After every bizarre test known to man, it was declared that my heart was fine, but lots of other things weren't.

By the time I left the following afternoon I had been diagnosed with diabetes (which I didn't have pre-surgery) and an anxiety disorder. Nifty eh?

Not like I have anything to be anxious about right?

Closing the studio down has been far more difficult than I thought it would be. Every time I try to explain it to someone I am met with doubt or questions about other ways of working... folks just really dont seem to get it. I guess I have to be okay with that.

Some part of me wonders, if people are actually bothered by us closing, where the hell have they been for the past half-decade? We've done mass mailings on so many occasions: Holiday studio sales, seconds sales, Art Trail... and each year we've seen fewer return customers. Weird to say the least.

Moving on to something new seems the most logical progression. I haven't been shooting as much this month. It has just been too damned hot to think, much less shoot. As I sit here, nearly 10pm, the house is well over 80 degrees and I cant stop sweating. A cold shower sounds inviting. I can't wait for this heat to break, for the wind to blow and for it to pour down a cold soaking rain.

So what does all of this have to do with Joe Strummer and Redemption Song? Hell if I know. Joe just makes me feel better. Something about his timing/rhythm and the depth of his lyrics... it just sits well with me. Helps soothe my frustrations and allows some semblance of peace to wash over me. I've heard dozens of folks cover this tune. From Bob Marley all the way to some folks I won't name for fear of embarrassing myself by admitting that I have seen some very odd bands. I wish I had seen Joe Strummer perform. Watching his life stream by on dvd just isnt the same.

Here are the details about the closing of the studio:
August 21st, 9am-noon... three hours.... that's it. Pots are available NOW!
YES, the prices GO UP every hour of the sale.
Think scarcity, think collector's item, think about the fact that I won't be making more pots. Zilch.

Get here early and save yourself the frustration of wondering why all the pots are gone. We are already out of some things: ice cream bowls, soup mugs, pitchers, oval vases. We have LOTS of plates to choose from. Tons of bowls. But at noon on Saturday the 21st, we close this chapter. If you want pots, don't wait till the very end. The best selection of pots is NOW.


Postcards are at the printer. Should be in the mail to everyone sometime the first week in August. An email blast will go out in about two weeks. Between now and then the pots are flying off the shelves as tourists are flocking in every day.

Anxiety and Fear

As I was posting to Facebook tonight I realized that for all of my attempts to write about life here on the PT ward, I have left out some of the more difficult aspects: Anxiety and fear. In my case, the anxiety hits me like a ton of bricks every night, right around 8-9pm. Makes falling asleep very difficult. It seems to center around my fear of falling asleep and not waking up for a month. Having experienced my coma for a month, I dont think this is an unreasonable fear. Things are improving bodily, with each day showing physical improvements and more control while walking and such. The fear of more surgeries and complications though hit me broadside as soon as I try to go to sleep. The upside to all the heavy duty PT is that I cant fight off sleep. I am off to zzzzs about 8pm. But on nights where the exercise has been light, or in the case of weekends, just about non-existant,... I am still wide awake till nearly midnight. Not a great way to get a good night's sleep.

I would love to find solutions to this ongoing sensation. Some part of me is thinking it could be tied to any one of the numerous meds I am taking... anti-clotting meds, zoloft (still havent gotten anything definitive about zoloft), various pain meds like fentenol (sp?), vicodin, blood thinner, blood pressure meds,... all of which have likely side effects. The question is whether that is the root cause. My suspicion is that this anxiety is pharmaceutical rather than psychological stems from the timing. 8-9pm, regardless of lighting, sounds, or visual stimuli make me think it isnt just night falling. Gotta be something more.
Ideas anyone?