musings

i was just imagining a devastating scenario, and it dawned upon me the you'll understand who your real friends. they'll be the ones who will accept who you are no matter what. they'll be the ones who will never shun you.

looking ahead

the road ahead is mysterious.
treacherous, uncertain, forever changing and unknown.
i envy those who already have a certain career path ahead of them.
there are those in the same boat as me, who doesn't seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
we are living by the day, going with the flow of things, hoping that one day,
we will finally secure a possible and stable career and get on with life.
we continuously wonder what lies ahead for us.
we sometimes wonder if what we choose to study is really the right choice.
we wonder if we can survive the test of time.
what would our lives be in the future?
how will our friendship change?
all these unknown, uncertain and unanswerable questions lie ahead of us.
we are just a small pawn on this face of the earth.

if only i had a crystal ball to see the future.

one after another

and when will it end?

takes a defining moment to define the intangible

6 months

i've got six more months in this organisation.
i can't wait to throw in the towel and get a 'normal' life back.
i'm quite sick and tired of what i do everyday and every week.
it makes me more unhappy when i think about the fact that my weekend is never peaceful
it is always interrupted with office problems.
why can't they be solved themselves?

observation one

there is this certain organisation, a huge organisation, whereby it is the iron rice bowl to many. i have realised that beneath all the structure there is one flaw in the system - that because it serves as an iron rice bowl to many, it affects the efficiency of the entire system. as long as people do not mess up significantly, and no matter how laid off the people may be, they still know that their bowl will never be broken. as such they can afford to slack off and use the cheapest form of labour available to help them with their work. these cheap human resource is constantly being renewed, the 'constant' will continue to rise up and use their status to enforce and ensure that the renewable, cheap human resource will get their job done for them. it is a vicious cycle. at the end of the day, things still get done though the credit is claimed by the 'constant'.

an iron rice bowl it is. without it, i think we may not have that many fighters.

of friends and time.

it just dawned on me that the good friends we make changes over time.
it's like changing your favourite t-shirt after a couple of years.
for that couple of years, you may have a good friend,
but when you move on with life, and your environment changes,
so will your good friends change.
i just feel that it's uncommon that good friendship lasts through many years.