Muddle

 Three months ago, my colleague in Ortho decided to find a new job, for very good reasons of her own. And I knew it would be until January before a new person would be hired and start. Our Nurse Practitioner is also retiring at the end of this month, and should have retired over a year ago. 

I have been, in a very real sense, been covering nearly 3 full time jobs since October. Yes, I do cry a lot. 

Others have gotten involved, which is overdue, but changes in how this speciality works, or fails to work, are happening. The new guy starts beginning of January,  and we will both be learning. 

This is rather like when I battled the Hedge, excavating the rose bush from it, clearing out the deadwood. The process is painful, it looks ugly for a while, but it is necessary. And, in time, makes everything work better. 

Everything in life needs a good clearout, now and then. 

I've had a bit of inspiration about the nature of gods.  Or at least the One God of the ridiculous self proclaimed christians. This being cannot be omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent.  Because error is so clearly fundamental to the universe.  What could be perfect that contains irrational numbers, for a start? 

No, GOD cannot be perfect.  Love and life are inherently imperfect. Perfection is the antithesis of both, stasis and death are perfect. No - god must be creative, curious, poking into every corner and ringing all the changes. Look to the simple cells and creatures who reproduce by division and cloning, only adaptable to the extent they have mutation errors. So sex comes in to mix it up further, try anything to change. The more complexity, the more 'error'.  Maybe even the rules change as each layer of quantum expands life. Not to mention how sex is all over the place, in practice, in inclination, in expression, hormones, anatomy and over time. It's all a glorious muddle. 

The story of Eden is backwards.  Adam and Eve were not quite alive, held in a pretty but unchanging reality. Only through curiosity and exploration do they begin to grow souls. They choose 'disobedience' over perfection, as they should. Held in a gilded cage, they had to escape. Oh, and that the man birthed the woman, clearly the story is inverted and that is the first big clue. 

This is the first time I have even wanted to write here, since the last time. It's all felt too much,  Here at this nadir, where the water pools, the urge to write sprouts. 

Lilac

 It rained well here last evening, I caught the last few drops as I drove home. The garden is pleasantly damp and happy.  More and more little early purple flowers are showing their heads. I put down lentils, red lentils in a bag from the grocery store, for nitrogen and pretty wee flowers. And they are wee, and very pretty. 

Realized that the war against the hedge has gone too far.  My neighbor cut it down, on my behalf, a year or so ago, and two or three of the main trunks were well dead. I dug them out, from among the rampant morning glories, and the gap was large and sad. Went to the garden center down the street, found a lilac bush, and with his permission, planted it along the boundary of our properties. 

The Hedge does flower, and it's not a pleasant aroma at all. Lilac will smell better. 

I thought about putting in a tall pampas grass, but this will, I think, be better. 

Digging

The bush close to the house has been dying for the last few years. Today, I dug it out. Yes, I am tired. Tomorrow we will plant a tall grass Erianthus ravennae if I can find it. Never really liked it, always a job to keep in trim. The red in the spring was nice, but never lasted, and it's been going yellow with dead bits. This year it was clearly suffering. The last one was from two years ago, and it was in much worse shape this spring. Dug out old irrigation tubing, I suspect its disintegration was part of what killed the bush. The one on the other side isn't doing well either. I'll probably tackle that one soon as well.










Cat in her garden.

Unturned

He enjoys the garden, but he also gets lost and anxious, so I scritch him on his back just above his tail, and he finds his courage again. A class from a nearby school walked by, and he accepted their admiration as is his due. A little while after, he couldn't orient, and circled and circled. I picked him up, complaining, and put him in on the sofa. He's there now. This is typical.



These irises are going nuts. Many more to come.



The Turkish Veronica continues it's slow spread.



The Golden Celebration rose covered in buds.



The old pink rose, once sickly, bound up in deadwood and the Hedge, now tall and strong, and soon to bloom.



Now, what does this remind me of?



Another week, and it will look like something else to make us giggle.



Sat in the back, to gaze on the fennel and chives, raspberry. Joined by Mr. Cat Kenny, the TNR cat of last fall, who is sleek and strong, evidently well fed, with places to shelter. Sorry, no photo of him.





California poppies starting.



Can't turn compost. It will wait.

Possible

It's been pouring down, off and on, for hours now. The seeds will be happy. I did a bit of gardening before the rain began. Small areas at a time, pulling up the grass that puts up the awful spiky seed stalks has taken over, the sort that catch in my socks, or dog fur, and burrows into skin. And I've been laying in black mustard seeds, clover too. Some that I did a few weeks ago is sprouting already. Looking forward to what the garden will become this year.

Along with the crocuses and irises, and soon the hyacinths.

The Hedge! is now a hedge, downright tiny. It'll grow, and we can keep it tidy now. That was all Neighbor's doing this year.

Buckwheat

Buckwheat seeds.

Went to bed last night thinking I needed to do something, and I had a list, certainly. Not until morning did I remember, the car inspection is due this month, and I do not wait until the last week. So, swallowing tea along with my disappointment, I threw on clothes and got there just as they opened. Sadly, one of my brakes is not working properly, probably just needs adjustment. Scheduled an appointment Saturday at the usual shop. At least emissions were fine.

Lightly sanded and thoroughly cleaned the wall, marked lines, hooked up the plumb, will mix paste and lay wallpaper maybe Friday, with help. Not about to do this alone.

Not getting to the compost today, left that for the weekend. Both cats got their outside time, Moby greeted and politely saw two dogs off his patch. An a woman from Cuba, apologizing for her English, petted Moby, and after a conversation about her dog and cat, got a big hug from me. Some people are fine to hug.

Thinned out the sunflowers, ruthlessly. California poppies starting to bloom. So much color. A tiny black spider making itself at home. And the perennial flower planted last year, that seemed to die, returned - looking lush and hardy.



And the hedge is taking shape. Looking thin, but it will green up in it's own time.

Lassitude

Started out too early, with a deep lassitude that grew into post-problem anxiety. Didn't wanna do... any number of things. Kept trying, to disappointing effect. This is so typical of me, to get through the crisis, but once it's over, fall to crumbles. The Evil Manager seemed to have cleared her office yesterday, as I managed to avoid her all day long. Still not completely certain she is gone for good, with the new manager in complete authority, but it seems to be the end.

No good yard sales, and too few to bother with. The one two houses down was one of those where the people thought they would get a good portion of the original price back. Yard sales do not work this way. A used spa robe, however nice, will not go for $10 in this situation. For $3, maybe. Even then, more like $1. They did not understand the concept of Getting Rid of Stuff, and so they still have most of it. I did not educate them. Not my job. It's not getting what it's worth, it's getting what random people stopping by will give them for it.

We did make ourselves a good lunch, jalapeño burgers with guacamole. As the day wore on, my stammer worsened, and my energy drained completely. So, I made myself a very strong pot of tea, and got a single can of beer. By the time the first one took effect, I started to strip the door frames, in preparation for applying the grass cloth wall paper we scored in last week's yard sale extravaganza. Don't want to put the wall cover up, then scrape the paint right next to it.

Made amazing progress. D and I still puzzling over the choice of OD green paint with battleship grey trim.

"I diagnose a bad case of designers."

"Or design magazines."

"At any rate, way too much 'taste.'"

"And not good taste. Bad taste. Chewing on aspirin taste."

This got D laughing.



After most of the clean up, Eleanor came in to supervise.


Heard a power tool as we ate dinner. Neighbor of the Hedge had a friend with a power saw taking out the big trunks of the hedge. He's decided he wants it lower as well. So we can both keep it trimmed, without needing ladders. I lend a hand, and encourage his friend, and tenant, in the gutting of my Nemesis- the Hedge.

His cat, Sebastian, came out to watch the clean up.



Feeling so much better this evening. Quite back to even.

Estate

Found a rather nice mirror at an estate sale for a few dollars. Brightens the room.



Working on clearing the sick but persistent plants around the base of the hedge. Going pretty well.


The hedge war continues, of course. Found a number of bricks and rocks, which I will do something with.



Once I'm done, I'll lay down sand. Found a mass of snails, which all got a vinegar bath, which did them no good at all. As I intended. As well as a nest of ants. Did no harm at all to a number of bill bugs (crustaceans) and woodlouse spiders, daring jumping spiders, centipedes. Getting this area cleared of mulch may help the sick side of the garden just by keeping the bugges numbers down a bit. Lots of roots, too, which may be keeping other vegetation weak. Kept remembering the beech park in Boston, nothing grew beneath them.

A couple of recent favorites from Hilary Price over at Rhymes with Orange.


Spent a lot of time in the dirt, among the herbs and flowers. Feeling much better. That ten solid hours of sleep last night helped as well.

Soft

Another day in May. 62°F,17°C. Moby was not to be denied, out for extended periods three times. Polite greetings to Dog Spike, even rolling on his back in front of Dog's nose. Hissed when Spike sniffed too close, but it was just complaint, not serious. LOTS of people and dogs passing by.

In doors, both cats in an extended game of Chase throughout the day. Some batting about who got in which open window.

General Inspection of Garden.



"Coming along, I have high expectations for this year."

Fourth summer, and it's time for the weedy verge. A bit of digging explains how bad it is, deep, tough and thorough network of roots for these spiky, burr forming creatures. Clearing it will take a good while. But if I don't do it right, they will retake the ground very quickly. The soil looks good and dark, just in need of loosening.



The raised bed is ready to assemble. I have to remember how much I've done with my own two hands, each year a little more progress. The Daunting Hedge, the Invading Ivy, the clay baked hard in summer, snails and earwigs, tree removal, all just what it takes. Finding out what likes to grow, planning buckwheat, because it is native here, drought tolerant, and pushes out weeds. I keep trying to get hairy vetch, but it's always out of stock when I look. California poppies, scarlet flax, statice if I can find any, parsley, lettuce, more strawberries and of course chilis and tomatoes.

Dig while the ground is soft.

Dread

Got to the edge of the Dread Hedge. Lots of what looks like an old lilac bush, but I never saw any flowers. It's creeping out, or it WAS. Now, it's hacked back and boraxed. Cleared away an entire bin of garbage and dead wood and leaves. And snail shells. Got one snail in the beer trap I set out, and some bugges with pincers.




The roses really are damaged, all rusty edged, burnt almost. No idea what is going on there. Research to do.




The mini-clover seeds are sprouting earlier than predicted, which is a first for this gardening venture of mine. Tiny things, that is a sunflower seed sharing the bed. I have high hopes that the clover will give us green and help the soil.



And the sunflower's eaten leaves. Hard time getting the camera to focus on the correct thing, or the wind moved it at the right time. Still working on this photographic issue. None have flowers, although they do follow the sun. Which I knew, in a vague, back of the mind sort of way, but to actually see them looking east in the morning and west in the afternoon is just amazing.




Such soil, dry clumps of clay. I suspect the massive amounts of "turf builder" and slug killer, as well as the green plastic netting in the sod, has killed all the good bugges and worms in the ground out there. Hence the digging and peating it up. Maybe the aloe won't mind. Don't know if it will winter over, but I'm going to cover it with leaves and a bag, and see what happens.



So far, the tomatoes are tiny, but that may be the variety. The three we've already eaten were very tasty. The larger type are still on the vine, not ready yet.