Opinionated

Zeppo comes up to snuggle with Dylan. And he talks, our opinionated and vocal cat.

Nothing

Worked a full OR day Monday, and a door guard shift yesterday. The OR is filling up, with restrictions. I'm sure I'll be working a lot more. Still feeling burnt out, so I'm not eager. Asked our anesthesiologist about the use of inhalation agents, his basic reply was, "well, if you really don't like someone and want them vomiting for hours..." Then added that it is sometimes used for people who are hemodynamically unstable, and it is used for 8-12 hour cases. Otherwise, TIVA, or total intra venous anesthesia is the standard, along with nerve blocks or spinals. This will slow us down, as will longer recovery room times. All our patients have to have recent negative Covid tests, now that the false negatives are much less likely.

Mostly I'm not feeling anything.

Gas

She's not keen on the harness, but once she decides she wants to be outside enough, she tolerates it. Takes a bit of coaxing and patience, on my part. I carry her, so that is set in her mind as the only way out the door. Once released, she quickly nestles into the catnip, sniffs a lot, eats a bit, and bites off some grass. Rolls on the sidewalk when she's about ready to go in, then pulls all the way to the door. Then I have to nudge her enough to close the door. I've learned to take off the belly strap before the neck.

Moby was more cooperative.

Rained briefly but enthusiastically several times today. I tidied the vines, dug them out, around the hedge, put down oat grass seeds. Sat in on a Skype for work. Made my manager laugh*, which is great. Returning to work a week from Monday, probably. Lots of restrictions and precautions in place, all tentative. Covering a door shift tomorrow.




*Our head of anesthesia hateshateshates using gas anesthetic. IV drugs, nerve blocks and spinals, are safer for our patient population. But the main IV drugs are the same ones used for patients on ventilators, and are not being allocated for surgery. I wrote that "Dr. S is going to LOVE using gas." I could hear when she read it, and then she laughed and read it aloud. Made my day.

Waterfall

This is not what I expected, not that I expected anything specific, but this wasn't it.

Goldsworthy is part of why I make cairns.

Stripping

Finished painting the garage. Took the black thing down, stripping the many layers of paint off of it. No clear idea what it is. A shade for a lamp? No electric out there, it didn't have a socket of any sort. Did a bit of minor cleaning up inside garage as well. Weeded and read out in the sun, with Eleanor joining me. She does love nestling in among the catnip. Eats some, of course.

This from the listing, before we bought House. They made it look enormous.



The curtains helped. The fence still in place here.



The curtains fade, and the paint was peeling badly.



I tried spray paint, which helped a bit, several years ago.



Did it properly this time.

Machine

This guy really understands humor.

Bhutan singing stamps.

Spent the morning checking temps and sanitizing hands. When I got home felt so tired, wound up taking a nap. Brewing a miserable headache. Eleanor wanted to go out, accepted the harness on the second pass, which is clear indication. She settled into the catnip to sun.





Zeppo enjoys the window, and the grass, as well.

Shake-out

Eleanor did not give a rat's ass about the earthquake. Oh, she noticed, the way she would notice the sound of neighborhood cats fighting outside. It just didn't bother her enough to do more than stand up and listen. If I hadn't gotten up, I think she would have just stayed on the bed. Another 4.2. The one Tuesday didn't even knock over any of my cairns. I'll go check the garden to see if this one managed it.

Good morning, here is your earth-wake-up-quake.

There is construction on our block, another rumble was a construction vehicle earlier, but it came with beeping. The earthquake rattled our chimes. I've been on the SLC reddit for the past month, which is locally informative. Today is the Great Utah Shake Out! Seriously, I'm not making it up. The earthquake preparedness event is today.

No news about yesterday's police event down our street. Only that stolen vehicles and drugs(dealers, not just users) were involved, and the neighborhood crank/harasser/nutjob was hosting them in his house. He'd always been one of those oddballs who I tolerated as being mostly harmless until last year when I was home with the wrist. And he was either high or having an untreated manic episode, and made sexually inappropriate remarks. I cut it off there, and shut him down. But he would shout remarks at me, demanding I tell him what was wrong he said he was sorry he thinks I'm beautiful!!! Ugh. And me feeling broken and vulnerable anyway.

He did the same with several other women in this block, along with other concerning behaviour. Found out he has a brother who tried to get him help, but it didn't take. Well, everyone on that little dead end half street is crossing their fingers that this will extract him from around their houses. Normally I hate the asset seizure drug laws, but in this case it may be warranted.

The infection rate/death rate here seems to have largely flattened out so far. Prevention will save lives, and encourage nay-sayers and conspiracy theorists. Ah, well.

Drama

Sunless dawn, rain sauntering down. I removed the cardboard protecting seeds planted too early, replaced with the remains of the salvaged christmas trees, to let rain in yet keep frost out. Drawn a fresh breath, everything greener, and more green to come. Forgotten flowers, working on their roots or seeds, bees must visit other flowers. Brisk winds of Monday long swept past, merely a lingering damp chill. Thousands of tiny roots of foxtail grasses remain, knitting the soil down, waiting for a moment's inattention.
Golden light through hazy clouds.


Delicate lentils peek out of crackled soil. Walking carefully around them to comb the ground with my eyes, pluck away competition. Aggressive grasses only, so far, but persistent weeds lurk. Words settle to the bottom of my mouth, let the silence float above. Witches beckon me, Weatherwax, Ogg, Garlik, Nit, Pratchett's cohort. Stopping to listen, reading to stop.

From reading prompts via Elephant's Child.

The police have been around our nearby half-street, with the local creep/nutjob who harassed me last year when I was stuck home and broken. Some sort of car theft ring, from what I can gather. They were there nearly five hours, seems to be over now. Nothing dramatic, just a lot of them, a supervisor parked in front of our house, then what I guess was a detective - in a black car and dressed in civvies. My next door neighbor hopes our "friend" will be removed from the area for good this time. A few months ago, he had a drug distributor living with him, with a big raid then, too. Ah. Drama.

The one line in the PD call list.

DRUG PROBLEM/DEALERS 1047 SC50 5xx E HAWTHORNE AVE Wed 04/15/2020 10:09 PUB ORDER CITIZEN ASSIST

Aftershock

Got another aftershock, 2056. 14 April 2020. 4.2. I guessed it at about 3.5-8, but I was wrong.

Today is my broken wrist's anniversary. The first big event in a difficult year. I'd already broken my toe, burnt out at work. And Moby was dying, hanging on until summer. Then my mother. Ends up in plague and earthquake.

One year later, and I have about 98-99% of my strength and function back. I worked hard at it. Still struggling with burnout.



She looks really good, that wrist.

Moby will always be missed. Zeppo will not let us mope, keeps Eleanor cheered and busy. Life whirls on.






"Hey! I can see your house from heeeeeeeeeeere!"

Where

If one of us, usually me, is in bed, the cats appear. And watch Dylan as he comes in, and ask, "So. Where are you going to sleep?"

Jackhammers on our corner. Official trucks and cones and stuff, don't know what utility is being worked on. Not water, we're pretty sure. Very loud. Cats disconcerted. Humans annoyed.

Cold morning with a bitter wind. Just down to freezing, warmed up a bit, but there is something about mid 40˚F/7C that cuts through and leaves gashes.

Spot

Looked up it's nose, and it's lovely.


The tulips are dropped for this year.



This for scale.



Greening up and filling in.



Spot the cats in the windows.





I think photography worries him a bit.

Crux

Easter was never Happy for me. A long stretch of way too much church followed by all church all the time until Easter afternoon, with the sop of a basket with chocolate and candy. Uncomfortable, light, pastel clothes, in a season still cold and muddy, and long drives to visit family who ignored me until they would demand I answer some question out of the blue. Then I'd be berated all the way home for being "rude" or "sulking" for not paying attention.

People at work on Friday wishing everyone "Happy Easter" strikes me as contrary. I mostly replied, "Good Passover" if I replied at all.

The word “crisis” means, in medical terms, the crossroads a patient reaches, the point at which she will either take the road to recovery or to death. The word “emergency” comes from “emergence” or “emerge”, as if you were ejected from the familiar and urgently need to reorient. The word “catastrophe” comes from a root meaning a sudden overturning.

-Rebecca Solnit

England Street names.

If you ever despair of new housing developments with trite and trendy names or streets with ridiculously bucolic and inaccurate title, nothing is new.

In 1853, London had twenty-five Albert and twenty-five Victoria Streets, thirty-seven King and twenty-seven Queen Streets, twenty-two Princess, seventeen Dukes, thirty-four Yorks, and twenty-three Gloucesters—and that was without counting the similarly named Places, Roads, Squares, Courts, Alleys or Mews.”

“Do all builders name streets after their wives, or in compliment to their sons and daughters?” the Spectator magazine asked its readers wearily in 1869, a few years later. “And are there 35 builders with wives named Mary, and 13 with daughters named Mary Ann spelt so? There are 7 places, roads, and streets called Emily, 4 Emma, 7 Ellen, 10 Eliza, 58 Elizabeth—23 of them being called Elizabeth Place,—13 Jane, 53 Ann and so on and on.” Add to that “64 Charles Streets, 37 Edward Streets, 47 James Streets, besides 27 James Places, 24 Frederick Places, and 36 Henry Streets.” Other streets were named “for nearly every fruit, and for every flower we have been able to think of in five minutes.” But the “climax of imbecility” was New Street—fifty-two of them in all.

Our history is one of violence, even when at play.


It was supposed to rain last night, and there was a trace, not enough to really soak the garden. At least it didn't snow. I will cover the scarlet flax seeds tonight and tomorrow night, as the temperatures drop below freezing.

We gathered virtually, with intermittent voices all echoing, but it was grand to hear their voices and laughter. Texting is good, but it doesn't fill the need for friends all talking together.

We've been watching Capitaine Marleau. Just so good.


Looking through labels, I carp about easter every bloody year.

Wrestlemania!

Wrestle cats from Zhoen on Vimeo.

Finally got video of these two having a match. Over my head behind us. They really go for it. But no one seems upset a minute later, so I have to assume it's rough play.

The Eleanor Paw To The Forehead move is classic.

Sarcastic

He looks like he's about to make a very sarcastic remark.

The Care Navigation Hotline is cooled off, so most of us volunteers trained to answer are not getting more shifts. It's been interesting, and I dealt with the calls better than anticipated. Actually felt pretty good to listen and go off my training and experience, and recent research.

I've been called off Monday, and the redeployment of staff is still in the works. All we are told is that it will happen in stages, not everyone all at once, and some people will not be used. Fine with me, once we can do regular surgeries again, we will be swamped for the next year. Other than that, I refuse to speculate.

Everyone is showing their colors, most of the nurses I have more respect for. Our manager is amazing. No real surprizes.



Hang tight.

Paw

The rose bushes look lively, hoping for a good bloom this spring.





The clover is taking over nicely.



Cats have taken up their proper sunning area.








I woke to Eleanor's paw on my face, and the sound of woodpeckers outside. She was not taking "I have to get up" as an answer. That chin ain't gonna scritch itself. Then Zeppo appeared, wanting one of my hands and a belly rub. When he purrs, there is no hearing woodpeckers anymore. A jackhammer would be drowned out.

The graph here is not behaving the same as in other places. So far, a much smaller percentage have died, it's not spreading as fast. Perhaps because our cities are less densely populated, skews very young, much lower smoking rates, even some genetic natural immunity. The wave could simply crest later and just as badly. Our state does not have a quarantine order, but here in our largest city, we do. Our hospitals are also set up not just for the local population, but for a vast semi-rural area. Since we are doing nothing but urgent cases and COVID-19, there is a certain amount of reserve, that a place like NYC could never sustain.

And even the plague, the Black Death, could be capricious, like a tornado. Destroy everything here, completely skip there. This is the problem with prevention, you can never be sure that it's what worked.


Reading about Detroit, and it's devastating the Black community, for whom diabetes, obesity, asthma and cardiac issues are endemic. My poor hometown. Those poor people. Detroit is called the Biggest Southern City in the North, so many moved there both after the Civil War and during Jim Crow, to get jobs in factories. Black workers didn't get quite as good a deal with the Unions, but it was comparable, it was steady. They could build wealth for their families, at least for a while. The South will look very similar, say those who are tracking this and have real data at hand. It's not about skin color, but oppression and poverty.

There but for merest chance, go I. For my kin were shanty Irish and Rivard Canard French, subsistence farmers and barely schooled. I will not take my good fortune for granted, nor will I feel guilt should I survive. The living may envy the dead, never the other way round.

I cleaned the kitchen, including mopping, yesterday. We don't usually cook that much here in a week, and I'd gotten neglectful. A little painting on the front porch. Weeding as per. Hoping for rain this afternoon.

Imperial

Dylan got some photos. I loaded into iNaturalist.org, and apparently it's a Fritillaria imperialis,

the crown imperial, imperial fritillary or Kaiser's crown, is a species of flowering plant in the lily family, native to a wide stretch from Kurdistan across the plateau of Turkey, Iraq and Iran to Afghanistan, Pakistan and the Himalayan foothills.

Then I remembered that I had bought it last fall, on a whim with the red feather tulips. It's rather impressive.

Everything about work continuing to change. Called off early yesterday and today, 'redeployment' information later this week. I stay still and wait for signs.

Probably good for my brain flexibility.


The thornless blackberry is showing signs of life.

Bask

Two cats lay in sun*
Distant beams, isolated
Breathing the same dust.


*From Catalyst.

Mask

I dismantled a torn OR mask that I had from my last full day in the OR. It's called a duckbill, and I like it because it doesn't get in my mouth, leaves a little air pocket. Dylan frustrated with other masks, so I made one up for him. With the scrap of ultrasuede I had leftover from the table cover.

I cut off the wire that goes over the bridge of the nose. This is important for those of us who wear glasses, since without it there are fogging up issues.


This is in place on the new mask.



Here is is held where it once was.


Where my thumb is, the fold is stuck down for all the layers.




Pulled apart and laid splayed out, with the necessary fold.



In place. I used iron on binding tape, but sewing would work fine.



Add ties or elastic to taste. Dylan wasn't doing so well with ear elastics, and wasn't fond of the idea of tying knots behind his head. Not sure if these elastics will work, but he's giving it a go.




I don't know if this is clear enough to follow, but it might inspire. Stay well.




I was at the door, the first day we did that. Checking temps and asking screening questions, sanitizing hands. Which is why I'm not in scrubs or hat. And it was St. Patrick's Day, one of the nurses had gotten the moustaches a month earlier...

Edges

So, I was sick the week of christmas, and the symptoms were very much like the current pandemic. Dylan was very ill, and then I caught it, and it was a doozy. Was it the same one? Well, I'm choosing to consider it possible. Do I know? No. Do I believe? No. Is is a comforting narrative in the middle of the night when I think my throat is sore? Yes indeed. I've been suffering acute attacks of hypochondria. A lot of my fellow nurses are dealing with this as well, and we laugh at ourselves for being 'such medical students' about it.

And that's the flip side of Wee Hour Anxiety, it's as susceptible to one story as any other. If I have one ready to play and drown out the other worries, like a prayer or a lullaby, it fills in the gaps where demons would otherwise lurk.

Wondering, today, what actually worries people the most?

Get sick and die, leave people behind who need me.
Get sick, wind up in the hospital, get well, lose the house paying for the bill.
Make someone around me sick, especially those I most love.
Lose my job and wind up on the street.
Lose people I love.
The world will change in unpredicted ways.

I'm not worried about losing my job, but it will certainly change.

Went out to edge my neighbor's sidewalk, been wanting to do that for years. Have had enough of my own work, so I didn't. Until today. Needed to garden, and have no more jobs to do on mine. None that don't involve me planting seeds too early, or digging up when I need to leave it be. I started before asking, so when he got home walking Spike, I apologized and asked. He laughed, of COURSE it was alright.

This is the job I needed to do until I need to get up to speed on the plague for work tomorrow. Putting it off until later today, and it is now later. So, firing up the work site and immersing myself in the task ahead of me. Because doing it well is the only option.


I also made Dylan a mask, based on the OR mask I wear, called a duckbill. Leaves space to breathe. No sewing, I used iron on adhesive, with scraps of the ultrasuede (from the protective cover for the new table.) Turned out pretty well. It'll do.

Yes, I will work on showing you how I did it.

Pull

My favorite so far.