Finally watched Lars and the Real Girl, a movie recommended so strongly to me that I resisted actually seeing it for, well, years. The description of the film is so odd, the potential for it being done wrong so high, kept me wary. D felt much the same. We started the dvd ready to turn it off at any moment.
I think of Groundhog Day, which could so easily have been utterly tedious and maudlin.
But, somehow, they did everything right. The story is weird without mocking, always retaining it's humor. Warm without being sentimental, sad without indulging in manipulation, often implying rather than being explicit. A supporting cast of fully real characters. Lars projects kindness on his doll, and elicits great generosity in those around him.
One element of the story is how we imbue the things around us with personality. Teddy bears, action figures, dolls... the problem being when we think we know what other people are thinking, what their motivations are. We don't know what our pets are really thinking, though we need to try. We especially should never project our own fears and frustrations onto others, always reading the worst of ourselves in others, denying our own failures and angers.
Mostly, just assuming good intention is the best place to start.
7 comments:
Hmmm...I just added this to my netflix the other night. Looking forward to getting it.
Yes, it's always dangerous to watch/read something that someone tells you is fantastic. It's seldom quite as fantastic as I hope.
I've never heard of that film, though; sounds intriguing.
A lesson I learned in the early days of the internet, well, early to most people, was to stop assuming things about people. In 1993/4/5 I met a bunch of people on-line that I later met face to face and in the early stages of that period I would make guesses as to what the person would look like, sound like and what their social skills would be. I was wrong almost all of the time. So I stopped making assumptions about these people that I would meet and translated that to not making assumptions about anyone.
I'll look up the movie.
Jessica,
I think you would really like it, honestly.
Isabelle,
I don't know you well enough to say, but it is amazingly well cast. If you liked The Station Agent, it has some of the same awkward tautness.
Phil,
Learned it mostly in the army, seeing everyone in uniform, takes away a lot of the usual social clues and assumptions. I had to read people solely on their actions, and under stress. I'm still probably too ready to withdraw, but I rarely let anyone dangerous in too close.
This one's in my Netflix queue. I thought it looked interesting when I saw the previews. Glad to hear you liked it.
I think I do sometimes know what Edward is thinking. Especially when I'm eating carrots and he comes to stare at me.
PT&E,
Observed experience, exactly. I pretty much get when Moby wants to chase, have chicken, or be left alone.
I saw this film quite recently too. It was tender, intelligent, funny. I had some reservations, but not enough to put in the way of others watching it. I think I missed Bianca when she went.
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