TORNADO, FIRE, a CAT and a DOG and STUFF.

I need to write a post......

I have so many things swirling in my head

and don't know where to start.

I've just been thinking about so many things.

About... life.

About how I spend my time.

About my level of Happiness.

How I have such a list of what I want to do

and NEED to do.

And I always feel guilty if I don't do all that I need to do.

Spring was arrived.

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In little bursts of warmth

but the nights are still cold.

But soon I can start building my fence!

I'm not sure where to place it... but that's for a different post.

So anyway,

I had breakfast with a friend

The one that accomplishes so much in a day

and she shocked me when she said she was tired.

Tired of doing it all.

That she just wanted her life to be simplified.

How she wouldn't mind moving from her home to a smaller house or

possibly even a condo with no yard.

Her house is so pretty and her yard landscaped perfectly!

I was so surprised.

She said she was tired of spending so much time on it.

I told her how I too thought that I resented working out in the yard

because it took time away from all the other things I needed to be doing and creating.

But I said that I also found it incredibly calming.

Like meditation.

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But even if I was working hard outside, I felt stressed that I should be doing something else.

She understood but said that she didn't enjoy it at all.

So I could see why she would want to move.

We got to talking about how we used to shake our heads at people who hired others

to do their cleaning and yard work and home improvements

and how we never understood why someone would spend money when they could do it themselves.

Both of us have always scraped together our pennies for everything but

suddenly we understood why others did it...

The other day a tornado touched down, not here

but not far from here either.

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We have warnings every Spring but we are almost always lucky.

They kept showing photos of the destruction that the high winds had done locally.

There was a storage place where units were knocked over and blown about.

I couldn't help notice the one that was mostly just knocked off of its footings.

You could see the contents still inside.  

It was packed to the ceiling.

Not in some orderly boxed fashion but stuff just jammed in a huge pile.

I thought about how someone was paying for all that STUFF to just sit piled up in there.

Why?

And why do I have STUFF in my basement? Still!

Furniture, wood, things I'm going to USE someday.

Things I'm going to paint and improve and make BIG money on... someday.

And things in Rubbermaid containers that someone will want to buy... someday,

in a shop online that I have never opened

or in a garage sale that I would dread having.

I'm no better, not really.

I mean, OK I haven't rented space for my STUFF and it's more organized but....

Then they showed where the tornado had hit.

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People devastated over their destroyed homes and lost belongings.

I can't even imagine how horrible and tragic that would be. 

My house means the world to me

and my home has so many things that have deep meaning to me.

Things my nieces have made me and a few cherished items from my past.

They talked to a man who said at least everyone got out alive in his family and how

that was the important thing

and he's right.

Two people in the town lost their lives and many were injured.

If a tornado were to ever hit my home, my animals would be my only concern

I would not be worried about anything else inside of it.

Then they talked to a woman who looked to be about my age.

She was saying how devastating it was and how thankful she was that no one had been hurt.

Then she hesitated and said that it was kinda "cleansing".

To be rid of everything.

I'm sure that many people would be very critical of her words, but I got what she was trying to say.

A while back I was watching "The Talk" and Marie Osmund was a guest.

Somehow they got onto the topic of having a lot of STUFF.

She said that when her parents had passed, she had put everything of theirs into a garage to save.

One day the garage caught fire and she lost everything they had left behind.

The ladies of The Talk started to offer her sympathy and she shook her head.

She stated that the fire had done something that she was unable to do herself 

and therefore it wasn't necessarily a bad thing...except for the photos.

The other day I was standing in my kitchen trying to FINALLY decide whether to paint my red china hutch white or black.

A long time ago my kitchen had a lot of red but not any longer.

I decided that black would probably be the right choice.

It would balance with the black shelf above the sink

and the black framed photos resting on it

and the dark clock above it.

I stood back and stared at the shelf and other things.

I was in deep thought about it.

My house is a 100 years old and the walls are plaster and lath.

When you drive a screw or nail into them, you can hear the plaster fall behind the wall.

The shelf has always be a precarious thing.

So I stood there and suddenly for no reason,

Ghost leaping onto the edge of the sink and knocked the shelf off the wall.

(Ghost on my red china hutch)

The little ceramic leaf that also sat on the shelf and held some jewelry fell and broke.

I gathered up everything quickly and turned and looked at the space.

Suddenly it seemed clear and clean and more spacious.

I looked over at the china hutch, maybe I could paint it white!

So... I don't need a a horrific event like a tornado, a fire or 

even my sweet cat to change things in my life.

Maybe I need to stop looking at everything in my life as what it COULD be

and just BE.

And stop focusing on the money I spent in the hopes of bringing in more.

Or creating/ painting with an eye always on how to make some cash.

I know that the Law of Attraction is that if you focus on something it will happen.

If you think it, it will be so.

They say if you keep thinking "I won't be late, I won't be late"

The Universe will just focus on the "being late" part, and you will be late.

If you instead think, I will be on time, then you will be on time.

It's the focus on the good positive and not the negative.

Which I think is the answer whether you believe in The Universe and Law of Attraction or not.

Sigh, I don't know.

I'm just thinking out loud or rather blogging out loud.
I've talked about this STUFF so many times
and I'll probably change my mind again tomorrow.
I frustrate myself.

They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks,

but we all know that's not true.

It's just finding the energy to do it all.

(Blue is exhausted too.)

6 YEARS AGO TODAY...

...I was really bumming out. The next day would be my birthday and I was turning 49.

I felt depressed because that would be my last year in my forties.
As always, it was Hot outside. I hate having my birthday in the middle of Summer.
Being female, it's upsetting to try to style your hair only to have it frizz.
It's hard to dress up and be comfortable.

I always wished I had been born in October.
But six years ago I didn't need to worry about that.
I had no big plans.
I was working at the old boarding facility back then, separate from the vet clinic, so I'd be there alone.
Basically I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.
Then not much past midnight, on my actual birthday, my little dog Ruby woke me up.
She was barking furiously.
I sat up quickly and looked outside my window.
All I could see was ORANGE. All I could hear, besides Ruby, was the roar of fire.
It was my neighbor's garage on fire.
(I have posted some of this before, but that's what old people do, right? I mean repeat themselves? anyway...)
Our houses are very close. It's possibly only 3 feet away and their garage is right out their back door.
The whole thing was engulfed and her new car was ignited.
I always hated the aluminum siding on my house but in this case, I think it saved my house.
Her house's vinyl melted and the entire back had started to burn.
The ivy on my home was fried to a crisp and my Weeping Willow, whose upper branches always brushed my window had caught fire too.
The tree is what Ruby and I had seen blazing orange out my window and then looking down, the huge roaring ball of flames was the garage.
I sprung out of bed, pulled on some shorts, slipped on my flip flops and ran down the steps with the dogs.
I grabbed the phone to call 911 and the woman on the other end of the line told me that
"They are all ready there!"
So I leashed up Blue and tucked Ruby under on arm and Claude under the other and yelled to Griffin, my old Shih-tzu to follow.
At the door to my porch, a woman was pounding. I opened it up to see fire trucks, police cars and several neighbors standing outside in the darkness. I asked her to grab my dog Griffin and she said she lived down the block and would put him in her yard. I started towards my car in the driveway when Blue broke free. I apparently hadn't clipped his collar correctly and he ran to a fireman. A woman from the crowd ran over and grabbed him and brought him to me. I loaded the two little ones into my car as a policeman asked if everyone was out.
Back then, I only had 4 dogs. But my cats were inside still.
We turned and ran back in. I've always told myself that I don't have favorites but as soon as I stepped inside I screamed "Harry!" and off the banister he flew, into my arms. I ran out with him, shoved him in the car window and turned and ran back in and got Levi, Ghost, Fagan and Ivy. Then I ran back upstairs into my spare bedroom to get Kanga. She's my cat with no front legs, she could have never gotten out. The neighbor girl had called one of my nieces for me, so my sister and 2 of my nieces had arrived by then. The policeman asked me if I needed anything else out of my home and I said no, "I have everything".
I look back now and think about how I hadn't even grabbed my purse.
I was lucky. They got the fire out before it actually got to my house.

I sit here now and look at old Griffin, he was old then, now he's ancient.

and I have rescued a few more dogs.

Levi, Ivy and Fagan are all in Heaven now.
Kanga is back living at the clinic.
My neighbor has a new garage,a new car, new landscaping and a new kitchen.
I'm still doing the boarding thing but now it's at the clinic and it's an all new facility.

 So when I went to work that day, I was very tired but happy that I had a home and that my furry loved ones were safe.

I didn't even think about being 49.
So, tomorrow I will be grateful for all that I have and try not to think about the number 55.

When I don't even really feel 35.

But I have this damn neck that looks crepey when I turn my head a certain  way and jut out my chin.

I wonder how much longer I have until it's actually wrinkly?
I finally have my hair completely grown out to it's natural color.
It's not as grey as I thought it would be.
There's kind of a streak of it in the front and then grey highlights....
I think I will color it again.
I can't have grey hair AND a crinkled neck.
and maybe a tattoo?.....