Is it Okay to be Depressed?

Argh. Nothing seems to turn out fine, much less the way i want it. Failures, streaks of bad choices and being at the brunt of consequences. Gosh, if i can fast forward time, i'd do it now.

With that said, i think it's perfectly fine to be depressed but not too long. I think a better question would've been, what kinda sorrows am i down with?

Sigh. Pathetic isn't it, to find yourself not as insurmountable as you thought. But at the end of the day, all things still work for the good for those who love Him ain't it?

i hope i'm not saying that as a consolation.

Sigh. What to do.

I hate it when i'm at a lost of what to do.

Sigh. Maybe it's just not meant to be, maybe it's God's way of saying "NO GO, DUDE", maybe i'm just really tired of guessing and waiting. I think i should just distant a bit, peace out my heart and clear up my feeelings. Perhaps then can i look at us from a friendship point of view and not the potential-more-than-friendship POV.

Yea i think i shall do just that.

I've got other things to worry about. Less than a month left till course starts and motivation's still rock bottom and the things people say ain't even helping at all. I've just got this gut feeling i'm gonna be slaughtered in the course. PFFT, wimp as i may suddenly be, i'd rather have my weekends and time to serve God and learn stuff.

Sigh. What to do. Pray lor.

先甜后苦.

Sigh... I feel so lethargic! Course starts next month and i feel so ill-prepared. My fitness is really low now compared to the period right after BMT and i'm not as enthusiastic as then. Gosh, i'm so dead meat.

Yea so what if i've flown a plane and enjoyed such a prolonged time of slack, i could be commissioning in 3 months time if i hadn't got into FEP! Oh man! I was really hoping for it after BMT but now i'm kinda regretting it. Sigh, i guess sometimes we gotta watch what we pray for. :(

I need motivation please! I could probably keep telling myself that i could make a bigger impact if i'm a officer but the thoughts of going through 9 months of training, argh! Sigh...

Clouds of Dust.

Awwww man. Urbanization is happening in Punggol. Cant run along the LRT route anymore. If i keep running there, i'd probably die at 50 years old. Guess i'd have to stick running in circles round and round the field. :(

>:(

*FROWNS* wah lau sian. I just failed my dental FFI today, c'mon man what can a few wisdom teeth do to flying. Grrr. Dont understand man. Now i've gotta wait a whole month for the next air grading course. God, shed some understanding please! >:(

*sigh*

Shingles.

Nope, not an imitation of pringles, it' this viral infection caused by the very same virus that causes chicken pox. I guess it kinda broke out from its sleep or something. Nothing too serious tho because it's still at its early stage. HAHAHAHA but my parents were so worried! Aww man, they kept saying it's the "snake" disease and that i'd die if the rashes go around. So they insisted on bringing me to a chinese acupuncturist to kill the snake. Good thing's the doctor's closed so we went to this chinese herbal master to see if it's really the "snake" disease. In the end it's all a small matter but i'll have to drink the herbal which is most probably black and bitter. Eww.

But still thank God for my parents.