Today... is being one of those days, calm – almost too calm – and so, I got thinking (I missed this... plain thinking). About all the subtil chances we almost don't see as we haven't got the time.
For example me:
- I got to enjoy train rides now;
- I love the feeling of reading on the train, when, before, I used to get motion sickness;
- I'm slowly starting to feel more and more free – even if I amaze myself and others on the process...;
- I still feel capable of having fun, unexpected, “empty” fun – please give me more of that!;
- I'm starting to enjoy, more and more, my morning ritual and I (do) feel protected - it's not that futile and I know they're listening;
-
Strangely, my priorities have changed;- When I look at myself now, from the inside, I see myself sitted, watching. On my red dust road, nothing on the horizon, like in a desert, and few bumps on the landscape behind me (a few flowers here and there, and -now- small hills that once were montains. But now, for now... just red dust, a shy sun and the feeling of warmth. And it feels okay.
I don't see it as a returning to the Past, as an emprisonement, at least not today (yeah... I'm back! The "Today girl"!). I just feel it like me slowing down. Getting in touch with some usual harmonies and habits I thought I'd lost. But I guess not... maybe this is just me... returning to my pace.
Yeah... I'd love the “read my mind, act on it, sweap me off of my feet” thing... but I'm not that. So I'll get back to watching, dreaming, hoping and thanking – when my mood allows it! - what I have, instead of just craving.
As... my Dumblie... you are right. "It didn't end when the phone was disconnected. It ended the day it began."
Yeah... I'd love the “read my mind, act on it, sweap me off of my feet” thing... but I'm not that. So I'll get back to watching, dreaming, hoping and thanking – when my mood allows it! - what I have, instead of just craving.
As... my Dumblie... you are right. "It didn't end when the phone was disconnected. It ended the day it began."
For the begining was of another kind.
3 thoughts unleashed:
Querida amiga
Ainda nao sei porque escreves em inglês mas dá-me um prazer imenso ler-te assim. Sobretudo pelo conteúdo.
Vou citar uma parte longa de que gostei em particular: "When I look at myself now, from the inside, I see myself sitted, watching. On my red dust road, nothing on the horizon, like in a desert, and few bumps on the landscape behind me (a few flowers here and there, and -now- small hills that once were montains. But now, for now... just red dust, a shy sun and the feeling of warmth. And it feels okay."
Existe como que um (des)encanto. And its feels okay, apesar de a seguir se prever que nao deveria ser só assim.
Um grande beijinho. Que o teu tímido sol seja suficiente para te trazer de novo o encanto do recomeço.
beijinhos amigos
Love your photo ...just my kind of scenery too! I know exactly what you mean...I'v been there...sadly, not there anymore...
kisses
Sempre gostei de andar no metro e no comboi por causa disso mesmo 'a viagem'. Adoro ver os corredores, os fios, ouvir os sons, sentir aquele ventinho do metro. Não sei mas sempre apreciei a viagem em si. Eu sou daqueles loucos que cobre quase lisboa inteira a pé apenas por andar, ver, sentir. Há muita gente que não compreende o porquê. Eu? Eu aprecio a viagem porque, é na viagem que mais se vive.
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