Another Rotten Comic Book Movie Post

ZOMG! Did you see this news about Guy Ritchie directing the Lobo movie?

This is so intriguing! Who will play Lobo in the film?

Will it be...

CHAD KROEGER FROM NICKLEBACK?!


...and this has been another rotten comic book movie post.



(Feel free to start this rumor on Reddit or some other respected online institution)

Megan Fox As Next Catwoman?

...and The Sun is there! Complete with crappy sub-fangeek Photoshop.

Unfortunately, these are the sorts of ill-conceived, banal things that have more likelihood of being true than things that are truly awesome.

Marvel Cohesion Versus DC Fragmentation?

I came across this link via The Beat regarding a theory why Marvel is doing so much better in the movie department than slowpoke DC. The theory goes like this:

Marvel takes a cohesive, "universal" approach in which they are not only totally involved with the movie-making process, but has no problem with characters crossing over with each other (as long as it's all in the same studio).

In contrast, Warner Bros keeps DC out of the loop to an extent in the process of developing and adapting their movies, and different filmmakers hold "fiefdoms" over certain characters, making crossovers difficult or unlikely.

This is then extended to the philosophies of the individual comic book companies in general.

Which brings me to the concept of separate "offices" for separate sets of characters.

One of the most striking aspects of the DC Comics editorial management was the concept of "offices" or "groups." There was a Superman Office. A Bat-Group. A Justice League group. And several editors who handled "etceteras."

This was akin to keeping all your food separate on a plate with one of those sectioned-off plates you'd get at school or camp. Corn does not touch mashed potatoes.

An editor would be in charge of all the comics related to Batman, for example. Now, say another editor from a different group wanted to use Batman in a Hawkman comic -- they had to clear it with the editor.

What happened when characters were not cleared with the individual group editors?

Anger, accusations, fights, screaming matches.

"How dare you include blahblah in that crowd scene! She's on the planet Nimrod this month, encased in a vat of yogurt! Didn't you read my goddamn e-mail?!"

As you can imagine, this made the editing of JLA really fun.

A side-effect of this was that it was just easier not to have characters cross over into other books.

And senior editors would be in charge of certain characters for long periods of time, to the point of it being this seemingly unchangeable, monolithic thing.

On one hand, such an approach I'm sure helped the interior continuity of the titles. On the other, it was a method that threatened to render certain characters "stale," their spinoffs and miniseries sort of inbred and uniform.

When Dan DiDio came in, he expressed a desire to "change up" the different groups and offices. He felt that if the heads of different offices were switched every once in a while, that would promote innovation.

As for whether the fragmentation into different isolated SuperGroups and Bat-Offices was changed for a more cohesive group effort, I have no idea. Maybe it has changed.

But when you are stuck in an office for 8+ hours a day, staring at those damn comics in various forms of production, I can see how you could become maniacally possessive of your "fiefdom." I think fiefdoms are bad for comics, though. And maybe bad for comic book movies as well.

A Full-Length Italian Spiderman Movie Is Coming!

Yes! This is the best news I've heard in a whole three hours!

A full-length Italian Spiderman movie is coming to the Internet May 22!

Yes! Win!

For those who are not familiar with Italian Spiderman, produced by the acclaimed studio Alrugo, you can check out the trailer and exclusive music from the movie at the official MySpace page.

Being a big fan of international film star Franco Franchetti -- who in my opinion has what it takes to be the next Javier Bardem -- this is truly a banner day for me.

The Hollywood Summer Blockbuster: No Woman's Land?

This interesting article in the New York Times, "Is There A Real Woman In This Multiplex," bemoans the lack of women-oriented or woman-starring movie offerings this summer:

"Nobody likes to admit the worst, even when it’s right up there on the screen, particularly women in the industry who clutch at every pitiful short straw, insisting that there are, for instance, more female executives in Hollywood than ever before. As if it’s done the rest of us any good. All you have to do is look at the movies themselves — at the decorative blondes and brunettes smiling and simpering at the edge of the frame — to see just how irrelevant we have become."

This article brings up several questions for me:

1. Has Hollywood, like the comic book industry before it, decided that females are not a viable audience?

2. What movies DO women watch? In what format? Theater, DVD, what?

3. Does Hollywood assume that women either do not watch movies in theaters or will go to wherever their significant others will take them to see or that they are so busy mopping floors that they haven't even given the topic much thought?

4. Is a movie like "Indiana Jones," as mentioned in the article, not a movie of female interest because Indy and his sidekick themselves are not females? Or is this sort of reductionist?


5. According to the article, the amount of female movie directors is something like 6%. Is this the movie studios fault for not hiring these women? Are these women not applying for the director track? Are they not applying to the director track because they are not interested, or because they are discouraged from doing so in school?

As I've mentioned in a previous post, I had problems with the movie "Iron Man" only in as much as the only character I cared to identify with had a penis. Since this is all fantasy anyway, maybe there really isn't much of a problem really there. Maybe, even without a penis, I can achieve my dream of becoming a boozy egotistical millionaire born-again peacenik in a metal suit, if I tried really really hard.

Maybe the problem is just my lack of imagination.

"Superhero Movie" Poster

Where do I begin?

Good to see Leslie Nielsen still kicking around, though.

Edward Norton Hulk-Out

From the upcoming comic book themed issue of Empire, found via The Beat

Here is what he turns into in the next scene:
The giveaway: you never see Ed and the Hulk in the same scene. Which means that the Hulk is just Ed's anti-establishment wish-fulfilling split personality.

Occasional Links: The "There's No Crying In Comics" Edition

Heroes Action Figures
or
"Men With Purses"

click for bigger pic

Check out this pic of the new Heroes action figures from Mezco:

Notice how almost all the male figures have messenger bags? And Claire lacks the traditional "purse" female accessory?

I remember back in the old days when men who wore those prototype messenger bags were made fun of for wearing "handbags." Part of this was because those bags looked less like contemporary messenger bags and more like handbags.

Hell, at least Claire doesn't have a pom-pom accessory! (Sylar does have a severed brain accessory, tho)


"Justice League" Movie On Hold/Cancelled?

Is the "Justice League" movie on hold/cancelled?

"Justice League is indeed in danger of not starting production on time, and maybe even getting scrapped altogether. The concerns are that the script is not ready to go in front of cameras, and also that the budget is getting a bit out of control."

I think that the idea of casting a Superman & Batman separate from the current movie franchises for the characters was a terrible one. People watching the "JLA" film will be like, "that's not Christian Bale! That's a fake Batman!"


Old "Hulk," New "Hulk," Red Hulk, Blue Hulk


Doesn't this shot from the new "Incredible Hulk" movie look like something from the old Bill Bixby TV series? Didn't they have a shot just like this in the TV series? Lets see...



yes, exactly like the TV series! (which makes sense since the director said the movie's an homage to the show)


And Even More Movie Bits!


Benicio Del Toro as The Wolfman (cool)

Wil Wheaton as Wesley Crusher in the new Star Trek movie (he's a natural)

Chipettes to appear in "Alvin" sequel? (wait, there's going to be an "Alvin" sequel?)

Is A Bioshock movie in the works? (I know somebody who's gonna be really excited...you know, unless the movie really really sucks. Which, given the rate of bad vs. good movie adaptations of video games, is pretty damned likely.)


"There's No Crying In (Blank)"

Did women in New Hampshire only vote for Hillary Clinton because she cried? Did Hillary really cry, or was this blown out of all proportion by the media? Was the perception that Hillary cried something promoted by her own PR people, in an attempt to make her more "human?" Do strong women need to show they can cry in order to seem more "likeable?" Should strong women ever cry? What about that classic 1962 Four Seasons song "Big Girls Don't Cry?" Do you know where I'm going with this? Do you? Do you really?:

Occasional Links -- The Rubber Wolverine Claws Edition

Costumed Spider-Men and
Hulks Seeking New Employment

Universal’s contract with Marvel expired at the end of 2007, meaning the superhero characters will no longer pose for photos with visitors or appear on T-shirts and other souvenirs sold inside the movie theme park. In recent months, Universal added Simpsons and Scooby-Doo walk-around characters in anticipation of Spidey’s ignoble departure.

Where will the new crop of fake plush Hulk muscles and rubber Wolverine claws congregate with the Universal theme parks out of the picture?

I remember getting "Wolverine's" autograph at the comic book store when I was 16. It was teh awesome. He signed it, "Thanks! Wolverine"

"Stupid Comic Book Movie Tricks"

Cracked.com lists their eight "cringe-worthy" comic book movie moments...

Of note is "I'm The Juggernaut, Bitch" and "Mr. Fantastic Gets Jiggy With It."

But #1?



Says writer Adam Quigley about "Batman & Robin,"

"It's like a virus of awfulness, in which one ridiculous element leads to the next."

Yes.

Quik Linx

"Great Sun of Krypton, WHY?"

Nothing says "I love you" like a 8-foot-tall, 40-pound teddy bear.

Comic-By-Comic shows some highly unofficial Ed Benes "Spider-Man" art (NSFW)

Comic Mix's Michael Davis lists all the reasons he's not a conservative. Reason #4? "I Like Sex."

John Byrne might have a new original series coming out from IDW...but he's being coy about it.



Is the TV theme song as we know it dead?

"My hunch is that modern TV producers fear flip-happy viewers will take any excuse to surf away from a show and sample other channels. Eliminating the theme song is just another way to deal with the multitude of channels and remote control technology offered today's consumer, locking them into an unfolding show before they even realize it has begun."

My fave theme songs:

10. "Patty Duke Show" -- They're cousins...identical cousins... (or maybe just a split personality).

9. "Chico and the Man" -- I don't even remember the lyrics, but I think it was about that old dude and how he don't understand.

8. "The Fall Guy" -- How can you not love Lee Majors singing Country?

7. "Family Guy" -- Sha-la-la-la...

6. "Different Strokes" -- I defy you to listen to this song and not be happy.

5. "George of the Jungle" -- He never did watch out for that tree.

4. "Silver Spoons" -- Sometimes when there is a pregnant pause in conversation with my BF, I will say "well, here we are," and he'll respond, "face-to-face, a couple of..."

3. "The Addams Family" -- Neat. Sweet. Petite.

2. "Batman" -- Minimalist lyrics.

1. "Mr. Belvedere" --

If you can't make a decent Wonder Woman movie you should quit the movie-making business

This is in response to the continuing "WB no like the wimmins" movie clusterf**k, and word that a "Wonder Woman" solo movie most likely will never happen.

Really, if as a producer you f**k up cool concepts like "Catwoman" and "Wonder Woman" and can't make a decent film out of them, you are a moron.

Yes, "Catwoman" the movie failed.

Why did it fail? Because women leads make bad action films?

No, because the producers didn't trust the original source material and decided to rewrite the character from scratch.

Even inside DC at the time we were baffled why the WB felt the need to completely change this character -- her name, her origin, her powers, everything.

If anything, the WB seemed more concerned with making the licensing "bible" for the character than creating a memorable film character. I remember walking into a conference room at the end of a marketing meeting and there were swatches of fabrics and wrapping paper and all this "Catwoman" licensing design stuff everywhere. And it was all foo-foo, all precious Barbie-level purple-and-pink pussycats and diamonds and s**t.

You know those T-shirts that play to the Paris Hilton wannabe crowd and have sayings like "hot materialist sexy bitch" on it with a graphic of a pampered chihuahua on it in a bubble bath? That's the level of design and sentiment we're talking about here. That's what the WB apparently got out of "Catwoman" the concept.

Well, no wonder the movie bombed! And it had Sharon Stone as the villain! WTF???

Fan-movies have been done better than that damn film!

And so what now, since "Catwoman" was screwed up it sets the precedent for no superheroine movies?

We're talking about @&$%& WONDER WOMAN!!!!!

Even that corny-ass TV show in the 70s made lots of money.

Meanwhile, we have a character like "Alice" from "Resident Evil" starring in three moderately-successful action films. And Alice is a cypher compared to Wonder Woman.

Why does Sony "get it" and the WB doesn't?

Obligatory: (pay attention to where Halle "thanks" Warner Brothers)

Wonder Woman: Not Coming To A Theater Near You

The bloggers Tom and Lorenzo, referencing a Premiere Magazine article on the non-existent "Wonder Woman" movie and other celluloid M.I.A.s, comment:

"Since Lynda Carter last wore the bustier, there have been five Superman movies, five Batman movies, three Spider-Man movies, three X-Men movies, two Fantastic Four movies and a slew of low-level, crappy, no-one-cares superhero movies like Daredevil and Ghost Rider. In all that time, they can't put together ONE film about the First Lady of Superheroes? We want our ass-kicking femme in 4-inch heels and we want her now!"

They also feel that the inability to drag WW out of development hell "smacks of sexism."

What exactly is the deal with getting this movie made? Is part of the problem the fact that she is a female character? Have big-budget bombs like "Elektra" and "Catwoman" spooked Warner Brothers?

My feeling is that the latter is the culprit, specifically the dismal performance of "Catwoman."

But I also think the problem with the movie is the same problem DC has had with the comics -- an inability to really nail down the character. The last time I really thought WW was done right was in the 80s (although Chris Moeller's "A League of One" and Darwyn Cooke's take on her in "New Frontier" were interesting, and Phil Jimenez's version had a lot of heart).

Maybe with Gail Simone on the book, the right tone for Wonder Woman will be set, and perhaps this will "leak" over into the movie plans.

As for now, we will have to have our thirst for cinematic superheroines to be filled by Jessica Alba.

Please, WB hurry!

(with thanks to the always-alert David Le G)