cNutgroist

How not to talk to a random woman you might meet in a bar, the other night, after doing a gig there:

"I only started talking to you because I needed a light"

"No, the stage persona is just an act. I'm not really like that. I don't swear or talk about disgusting things offstage."

"What does your name mean?"
-Holy
(looking her up and down) "I'll bet it does"

"The blue chalk on my hands? My family are going to think I've been wanking off a smurf"

(referring to her native country's evil dictator)
"How old is he now?"
-he just turned 53
"Well, happy birthday!"

"(LOUD VOICE) You're a stripper?! OH COOL!"

"You ..um...just... strip?"

"(LOUD VOICE) Of course you don't see what I've got to be nervous about. You take your clothes off in front of hundreds of people 5 times a week"
-SSSSHHHHHH! (mumbles) 5 times a night, actually
"(LOUD VOICE) Fuck!"

"What do you mean you 'hate Bob Marley'??!"

"I"ll buy you a car if you make this highly improbably trick shot.... *plop!* ..oh shit"

"I may not look it or sound but I'm very very very fucking drunk"

".................................."

"...................."

*heave*

"..........................."

"I don't know where I live and I don't have any money"
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