Monday, May 16, 2005
EXCLUSIVE!:
WORLD PREMIERE REVIEW!:
STAR WARS!:
REVENGE! OF! THE! SITH!:
A short, short time ago, in a cinema near, near away, I sat with my popcorn, press-pass and penis-cream in a darkened room and gazed up in childlike wonder at the flickering screen afore me. And so, the hyperspace drives all re-serviced, monstrous tendrils freshly waxed and the mysterious Force rebalanced, it's time once again to don your brown monk smock, polish your light sabre and finally learn Klingon for lo, the si(x)th (sic'th)(sic) and final part of the second Star War trilogy, a sexiology if you will, has finally hit our screens and WOOOAAAAHHHHH! What a movie! I couldn't believe my FUCKING EYES if you'll pardon my Huttese. There was just so much going on, I felt privileged and honoured to be among the first to see it and review it.
But anyway, I'm getting sidetracked, so, I digress.
The basic plot outline features many of the original characters from the previous films but, here's the genius bit, in new and exciting situations. Peering through the pitch black of the movie house during one of the slow bits I noted the many shocked expressions on my fellow scribes as another shocking revelation shocked them to the core. Bear in mind, we all of us here were Star Wars fanatics to our death-star hearts. There were also some women there. Presumably friends of someone or other.
I won't spoil it for you but get ready for an awesome fight scene in the 19th, 42nd, 65th and 118th minutes of the film. I also won't spoil it for you by saying whether anyone you might suspect of turning into Darth Vader does turn into Darth Vader. And as for that other bloke, don't worry, he does/n't die in the end. Relax.
Among my personal favourite bits were when the man did the thing and then the other thing. It was brilliant. A typically Lucasian bit of excellent stuff. A special mention must go to the Sound Effects department who must've worked overtime on the old tinplate and football rattle to get some of the sounds. You should hear them, it's all BZZZZZZZZZZ and WHEEEEEEEE and stuff. While we're on the subject, the Effects themselves were always competent. I got a real sense of being in the middle of a galactic space holocaust, I don't know about you. And the Special Effects were just wonderful. All sorts of great things happened on screen which delighted me. Very special. I for one can't wait for the next one, episode 4, scheduled to be released sometime in 1977.
In the meantime, if you can't wait that long, my advice is go to a cinema now and get a ticket for this. Then go into the cinema and see it. And do take the children*
*if you don't have children, take some you don't have. They're easily found outside cinemas during working hours and evenings and will be glad for the company.
|
WORLD PREMIERE REVIEW!:
STAR WARS!:
REVENGE! OF! THE! SITH!:
A short, short time ago, in a cinema near, near away, I sat with my popcorn, press-pass and penis-cream in a darkened room and gazed up in childlike wonder at the flickering screen afore me. And so, the hyperspace drives all re-serviced, monstrous tendrils freshly waxed and the mysterious Force rebalanced, it's time once again to don your brown monk smock, polish your light sabre and finally learn Klingon for lo, the si(x)th (sic'th)(sic) and final part of the second Star War trilogy, a sexiology if you will, has finally hit our screens and WOOOAAAAHHHHH! What a movie! I couldn't believe my FUCKING EYES if you'll pardon my Huttese. There was just so much going on, I felt privileged and honoured to be among the first to see it and review it.
But anyway, I'm getting sidetracked, so, I digress.
The basic plot outline features many of the original characters from the previous films but, here's the genius bit, in new and exciting situations. Peering through the pitch black of the movie house during one of the slow bits I noted the many shocked expressions on my fellow scribes as another shocking revelation shocked them to the core. Bear in mind, we all of us here were Star Wars fanatics to our death-star hearts. There were also some women there. Presumably friends of someone or other.
I won't spoil it for you but get ready for an awesome fight scene in the 19th, 42nd, 65th and 118th minutes of the film. I also won't spoil it for you by saying whether anyone you might suspect of turning into Darth Vader does turn into Darth Vader. And as for that other bloke, don't worry, he does/n't die in the end. Relax.
Among my personal favourite bits were when the man did the thing and then the other thing. It was brilliant. A typically Lucasian bit of excellent stuff. A special mention must go to the Sound Effects department who must've worked overtime on the old tinplate and football rattle to get some of the sounds. You should hear them, it's all BZZZZZZZZZZ and WHEEEEEEEE and stuff. While we're on the subject, the Effects themselves were always competent. I got a real sense of being in the middle of a galactic space holocaust, I don't know about you. And the Special Effects were just wonderful. All sorts of great things happened on screen which delighted me. Very special. I for one can't wait for the next one, episode 4, scheduled to be released sometime in 1977.
In the meantime, if you can't wait that long, my advice is go to a cinema now and get a ticket for this. Then go into the cinema and see it. And do take the children*
*if you don't have children, take some you don't have. They're easily found outside cinemas during working hours and evenings and will be glad for the company.
|
Comments:
Post a Comment
