cNutgroist

'Where to? Sure. Hop in. (driiiing driiing) Hello? Yes, I want a ticket for Alabama. Monday. Can you get that for me? Ok, thanks pal(click). I'm Alabama born and bred yes sir. The accent may be Ballymena, 23 years on and off driving this taxi in Dublin, but i'm an Alabama man yes sir. I got me some women troubles out there so I got to go sort it out before it all gets out of hand (driiiing driiiing). Hello? hi darling. are you ok? is he still there? ok, listen get out of the house, take the kids to your father's and don't go home again, ok? did he leave his guns? ok, listen carefully. take the clips out, reverse 'em and put 'em back in. then stick 'em in the safe. have you got your gun? where is it? ok, keep it under the pillow but also take out the clip and turn it round. yeah, i'm coming. don't worry, i'm gonna sort him out but jesus, be careful ok? can you imagine the headlines "Dublin Taxi Driver kills Alabama Mayor who's wife he's fucking!". Listen, i got customers i better go. talk to you soon (click). So i'm seeing this lady right, she's a real sweet girl, real kind and decent and purdy and all, and her husband's the mayor of this small town and he drinks and he's a bad sonofabitch and now he's smacking her about and well, he's from Philadelphia but we just don't do that in the South. And it gets worse cos she's the chief of Police! So i'm going over there to sort him out. I could kill him but I won't. He doesn't know about us but he suspects. He's begun to suspect. There's too many guns in that house. I have two guns myself. A handgun and a high-powered gun - it'll blow up a car at 400 metres. Cost over $10,000. Ah look, I've taken so many wrong turns here, look i'll not charge you whats on the meter. Give me half. Ok, thanks. God bless you now.'
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