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road notes

hands at 10 and 2
i am
the whole truth
so help me God
i swear
i own this road
this neck of the woods
this way
i'll prove it
sign it in chalk
and date it
tear it 
on the dashed line
keep one half
mail the other

this highway's not a ribbon
it's a zipper
unzzzipped
your land
rolls into my land
golden sweet
delicious deep
let freedom ring
honest 
and clear as
the night 
eyes wild with
halogen soaked
promised land 
mountain songs
reach up
palm that star
the second from the right
it's no lie
shhhh...
let me ride

Rene~December 27, 2012
for d'verse "Meet The Bar"/Postmodern Experimental
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Comments

  1. Brian MillerDecember 27, 2012 at 11:07 PM

    haha...some fun lines in this...keep one half, mail me the other...this road is a zipper...second star to the right..lets sail on til morning...

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousDecember 28, 2012 at 5:02 AM

    "this highway's not a ribbon
    it is a zipper
    unzzzipped
    your land rolls
    into my land
    into freedom"

    beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sabio LantzDecember 28, 2012 at 6:15 AM

    Wow, I loved that but have no idea what you are saying. I read it three times. Great flow but still lost.

    The elation of being on the road that I have at night sometimes feels behind this. It sounds like it is hinting at some either philosophical or psychological insights, but maybe not. It may be a metaphor that I am missing but without more clues, I walk away thinking your are stone while you speed along highways - deluded that you own the land, are truth and can grab stars. Which, of course, is a great feeling! But maybe you intended more.

    The first three lines seemed like the classic bumper stickers back in the 1970's "God is Behind My Wheel" -- nowadays, evangelicals are more subtle, instead of "Honk if you Love Jesus", they put a fish hidden on the trunk.

    But when you said, "so help me God, i swear i own this road", it was unclear. Then it unravels into gorgeous bizarreness after that.

    (following)

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownDecember 28, 2012 at 7:43 AM

    I am a rock who dreams of flying

    ReplyDelete
  5. SilverGardeniaDecember 28, 2012 at 2:22 PM

    I love the flow of your poem. It's very smooth.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Kate SoloDecember 28, 2012 at 4:41 PM

    Loved this!! I like to write poems about being on the road too!! (Damn you, Kerouac!! Ahaha!!) :-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousDecember 28, 2012 at 10:16 PM

    I love these:

    "i am
    the whole truth"

    "eyes wild with
    halogen soaked"

    "palm that star"

    ReplyDelete
  8. lucychiliDecember 29, 2012 at 5:35 AM

    surreal rollercoaster smooth

    ReplyDelete
  9. UnknownDecember 29, 2012 at 12:01 PM

    Wonderful lines that create the sense of expectation and exploration on a spiritual journey. Thanks so much for joining us!

    ReplyDelete
  10. UnknownDecember 29, 2012 at 2:50 PM

    ooh loved it from start to finish. brilliant journey, this. x

    ReplyDelete

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