Review: Before I Go To Sleep by S.J. Watson

Before I Go To Sleep
by S.J. Watson


Published June 14th 2011 by Harper

'As I sleep, my mind will erase everything I did today. I will wake up tomorrow as I did this morning. Thinking I'm still a child. Thinking I have a whole lifetime of choice ahead of me ...' Memories define us. So what if you lost yours every time you went to sleep? Your name, your identity, your past, even the people you love - all forgotten overnight. And the one person you trust may only be telling you half the story. Welcome to Christine's life.

Genre: Adult, Mystery

Publication Date: July 1st 2011

Publisher: Random House

Format: Pocket book, 428 pages 

Series: no

Source: bought

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My Review

Christine wakes up every single day not knowing where she is nor who the man lying beside her is. Neither does she know why she is much older than she remembers being.

Everyday her husband needs to introduce himself and explain to her that she is 47 years old, that she's had an accident many years ago, an accident that causes daily memory losses. She can maintain new memories for only 24 hours. As soon as she sleeps, it all becomes lost to her. And Christine has to take his word, this stranger man who calls himself her husband, for it. 

She's impossibly confused, so when a man calls her saying he is her doctor and that they have been meeting for weeks concerning a new treatment for her memory loss, and that she needs to trust him and not tell her husband about it, she's not sure she should trust him. But this man knows to tell her to look into a shoe box hidden inside her closet to find a diary. A diary, he says, she herself has been keeping. A diary that tells very different things from what her husband and, sometimes, even said doctor, tells her.

Now Christine has to decide who to believe in. The mysterious doctor? The loving, but confusing husband? Or the woman who writes in her diary everyday? Can she believe in all she has been writing? Who can you trust in when you can't even trust yourself?

I was so caught up in reading this book that my whole afternoon just flew by. It was like I blinked and the 384 pages were over. 

Christine was felt scared, confused, mad, distrustful, aroused, guilty, anxious, in pain... and I felt all those things right along with her.

I can't very well explain how... how... SATISFIED and GLAD and FURIOUS and INDIGNANT I was when it finally hit me. (I can't say what it is that 'hit me', otherwise the mystery will no longer be a mystery. But I CAN say it was awesome).

It's not that the ending was especially creative or unexpected or anything (and can anything even really be 100% creative nowadays?). It was just very well-thought-of. And simply splendidly delivered. (I'm all adjective and adverb-y today. Must be Dash's fault. ;P).

The whole book was super intense and intriguing. Staggering. Startling. And... okay, enough with the adjective attack. If you didn't get it by now... then don't even bother reading. No,  no. Read it anyway. It's that good. 

And there you have it. It's the (almost) perfect love crime. Go read it. Right now.

Review: Blackbirds by Chuck Wendig

Blackbirds 

(Miriam Black #1)

by Chuck Wendig 

Published April 24th 2012 by Angry Robot

Miriam Black knows when you will die. She’s foreseen hundreds of car crashes, heart attacks, strokes, and suicides.

But when Miriam hitches a ride with Louis Darling and shakes his hand, she sees that in thirty days Louis will be murdered while he calls her name. Louis will die because he met her, and she will be the next victim.

No matter what she does she can’t save Louis. But if she wants to stay alive, she’ll have to try.

Genre: Adult, Supernatural

Publication Date: April 24th 2012

Publisher: Angry Robot

Format: eARC, 416 pages 

Series: yes

Source: Netgalley

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My Review:

First line: Car lights strobe through busted motel blinds.

Last line: "It is what it is."

Favorite quote: "Why, Paul, what do you think of me? I am the very model of chastity." He isn't buying it. She lights the cigarette and waves him off. "Dude, I discarded the key to my virginity belt long ago – just up and tossed it into a river, I did. That being said – no, Paul, I did not bang your uncle."

Once in a while I like to do this thing. That is, I see a book, fall in love with the cover and force myself to read it, regardless of the content. Sometimes, I do the opposite. I go for the blurb, without really caring for the cover. But this particular review is a case of the former.

This time, obviously, it was cover love at first sight.

Blackbirds was one of the most intense, most intriguing and, yeah, sort of the most disgustingly graphic book I've read in a while. And there was absolutely nothing wrong with that. It was exciting. It was surprising. It was crass and to-the-point and felt like a slap of reality to the face. It was glorious. And I couldn't put it down.

Sure, I enjoy my journeys to fantasy worlds, along with romantic escapades, almost-perfect heroes and even more perfect endings as much as the next girl... but once in a while, crude reality does it for me.

Miriam is damaged goods. She had a traumatic childhood and youth... and she can tell how and and when you'll die as soon as her skin brushes yours. She keeps a notebook with info of some of the people she's touched and have dies, and keeps notes on when others will die. Why? Because a girl needs to eat and dead people don't need their money anymore.

One night, after grabbing a few bucks from a woman beater who died from an epileptic attack after giving her a pretty shiner, she's out in the highway, looking for a ride. A ride to anywhere, as long as it's far away from where she is.

After a brief encounter with a couple of idiot frat boys (who really regretted messing with her, I must add), she jumps in Louis' truck. The interior of his truck is so clean and shiny, and he's so nice that Miriam quickly assumes that this Frankenstein, I mean, Louis is a rapist/murderer/ and/or psycho. Surprisingly enough, he isn't. However, what is even more surprising is what she sees when she touches him. He will die, like we all will. But not from old age or an accident or even suicide. No. He will be murdered. And he'll call her name right before he dies. 

Miriam freaks out and can't jump off his truck fats enough, not accepting his pity and offer of monetary help, but she does listen to him when he tells her there's a bar and motel just a few minutes ahead. Really could use a drink. Or ten. In the bar, she meets pretty boy Ashley, with his feminine name and big smile. But in no time she'll regret ever meeting him.

She knows that it's useless to try and change the future. She's tried before. Countless times. To no avail. And, once again, fate is laughing at her. The more she tries to run from Louis and try to avoid his death, the closer she gets to him. And the date of his death. Which will be her fault. Can she make it in time? Can she stop it? Can she, for once in her life, do something good and useful?

Oh, man. Miriam talks. A lot. Most of it nonsense and usually at the wrong time. And hell if I didn't love her for that. That girl just loved to hear herself talking. She was also a heavy smoker and constant liar. She ate like a lumberjack. And she drank like the world was going to end in the blink of an eye. But she had a hard life (and that's putting it mildly), and those actions fit her perfectly. She was a broken girl with no hope for life or her future, and I loved her. I just wanted her to find some kind of happiness somehow. There was so much wrongness within her, and still I cheered for her.

The entire book was roller coaster ride. That's the only way I can describe it. It kept me on edge the whole time. 'What's going to happen next?', 'Show me more of her past!', 'How is he/she going to die?', 'Will she make it?'. Just... wow. The only thing that still bugs me a bit is that it wasn't very clear how she got that ability. Maybe after that very traumatic episode with the red shovel? Not sure... but I still loved the characters and the story. Sad and bittersweet, as it was. We'll probably find out more about all that in the next book. I'm really looking forward to reading the sequel, Mockingbird. :)

If you like intense books that ensnare you, leaving you unblinking and attentive until the ride is over, and then stick with you even after you're done with it, then run and grab yourself a copy of this crazy good tale.

* I received an eARC from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.*

Review: Hushed by Kelley York

Hushed

by Kelley York

Published November 30th 2011 by Entangled Publishing

Eighteen-year-old Archer couldn’t protect his best friend, Vivian, from what happened when they were kids, so he’s never stopped trying to protect her from everything else. It doesn’t matter that Vivian only uses him when hopping from one toxic relationship to another—Archer is always there, waiting to be noticed.
Then along comes Evan, the only person who’s ever cared about Archer without a single string attached. The harder he falls for Evan, the more Archer sees Vivian for the manipulative hot-mess she really is.
But Viv has her hooks in deep, and when she finds out about the murders Archer’s committed and his relationship with Evan, she threatens to turn him in if she doesn’t get what she wants… And what she wants is Evan’s death, and for Archer to forfeit his last chance at redemption.

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My Review:

Great cover, right? Kind of gives you the shivers and really makes you want to start reading, huh? Yes. Those were my first thoughts when I saw it. Now that I have read it, all I can think is:

Wow.

That was intense. I just couldn't put it down! XD

Archer Pond has been friends with Vivian since they were kids. After he witnessed his best friend being gang-raped and couldn't do anything to help, he promised himself to always be there for her, to help her in any way he could. And so he has been.

Anytime she calls, he's there. Anything she asks, he does. Anyone hurts her, he ends them.

Always hoping, deep inside, that one day she'll open her eyes and see him.

The book starts with Archer forcing all the guys that hurt Vivian to kill themselves, always making it look like a suicide or an accident. All in order to make the world a better place for her.

Then along comes Evan. The new guy, who keeps trying to get through Archer's defenses, who ignores all the 'keep-out' signs. Evan, who, for some reason, just wants to be close to him. To talk to and spend time with him, wanting nothing in return but his time and attention. The guy who slips into Archer's mind when he least expects it, whose voice calms and reassures him, who, for once, makes him think of himself first, and not of Vivian. The one he ends up falling for.

But Vivian is a very selfish, self-centered b***h, if you'll pardon my french.

She can't take it when her doormat won't let her walk all over him anymore. She cannot believe Archer is happy (especially) with someone who is not her. She can't take it that he's not always there anymore when she's lonely, when she wants to whine or cry or go shopping or needs to feel beautiful or has been beaten by another boyfriend Archer was against her being with or she needs a ride or has broken a nail.... uff! >.>

Well, in a nutshell: when he (finally) doesn't want her anymore, she suddenly HAS to have him.

This book really blew my mind. Deep inside I knew I shouldn't like Archer because, well, he was a murderer... but he was so sad, so pitiful, and really deserved being happy, I couldn't help myself!

And even though I hated Vivian from the start, I actually felt a bit sorry for her at first, for what happened to her, but ended up hating her more and more as she kept showing a darker and darker heart.

Evan was a good guy from the very beginning, all cute, thoughful, honest and kind... but even he showed a bit of darkness when needed. A bit shocking, but completely believable.

This story really makes you think of human nature. How we all have the capacity for both good and bad, we need only choose which will rule us.

I know it may bother some people so... about the homosexuality in this book, it was SO well dealt with, it almost brought tears to my eyes. There was no room for fear, shame, confusion or worries. Only for love, caring, calmness and comfort. Gender was the least important thing in their relationship. It so pure, so tasteful, it was almost poetic. *-*

Archer simply loved Evan as Evan loved him. He never worried about what people would see or think about them, the only thing that mattered was how safe, tranquil and happy he was when they were together, the exact opposity as what he felt when Vivian was around.

Kelley York really knows how to ensnare us and keep us wanting more. Her characters were so real I kept thinking maybe it based on a true story or something. LOL

I'm particularly happy with the way the book ended. I was afraid it would disappoint me somehow (Sometimes, when I love a book this much, I usually hate something about how it ends), but it was even better than I could have ever expected.

I have read almost 160 books this year (this is number 159), but Hushed has got to be my favorite.

If I were you, I'd read it right away. If I were not, I'd read it anyway. You'll be missing out on a VERY good read if you don't.

*I received an e-copy of HUSHED from the publisher by Netgalley, in exchange for an honest review.*

Review - Replication: The Jason Experiment by Jill Williamson

Replication: The Jason Experiment

by Jill Williamson

A girl discovers her geneticist father is covering up multiple secrets---all of which are named Jason.Jason 3:3---known as Martyr---always believed his life had purpose. As one of the hundreds of clones living in a closed-off underground facility beneath an Alaskan farm, he has been told his genetics hold the key to saving humanity from an airborne pandemic aboveground, and his purpose will be filled on his upcoming eighteenth birthday. The problem is no such pandemic exists. Unaware of the truth, Martyr wishes for one glimpse of the sky before his expiration date arrives. His escape leads him to the home of one of the scientists, and to Abby Goyer. As she helps Martyr, she can't help but notice his uncanny resemblance to the high school quarterback. Abby soon uncovers the dark truth behind Jason Farms and her dad's work, and decides to show Martyr his true value and worth. As Martyr learns the truth behind his existence, he must decide if his God-given purpose is connected to the farm, or if it rests in a life with Abby.

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My Review:

The minute I saw the words "cloning farm" I knew I had to read this book, but at the same time I wasn't sure I'd like it much, given the 'religious' tags on it. I'm glad I skipped them and read it.

Martyr, or better yet, J:3:3, is a clone. He is one of the many 'Jasons' that are raised at Jason Farms.

From a very early age he was made to believe his purpose in life is to expire at eighteen and sacrifice himself for those who live outside. He is unfamiliar with colors, he has never seen the sky and has only been in contact with one woman in his seventeen years, eleven months and five days. Until a new doctor arrives at the lab, wearing a distractingly bright colored tie and changes his life.

Doctor Goyer has just moved to Alaska to start working at Jason Farms. He is scared by the boy who seems so enchanted by his orange tie and so curious about the simplest, most common things, such as dogs, Christmas gifts, daughters and female pronouns. When the doctor shows Martyr a colored picture of his daughter Abby, all red curly hair and green bright eyes, the poor clone almost flips out.

Martyr knows he needs to be put down in a couple of weeks, but he really wants to see the blue sky. No doctor will allow him to, though. Too dangerous, they say. He could become intoxicated.

But Martyr is desperate. He doesn't want to expire, and after overhearing very confusing conversations about one of the doctors being sick and needing his internal organs after his expiration, he jumps at the opportunity and steals an access card. And he ends up at Dr. Goyer's place. Or, more precisely, his daughter's room.

Abby Goyer is mad at her dad for him dragging her to live in Alaska, of all places. Being the new girl at school, she's the center of attention. JD Kane, popular rich hottie and famous jock, is instantly attracted to her, but, good looks aside, she's not very charmed by his personality. Or forwardness. Specially when he shows up in her room. Or is it really him? JD was never this scared or polite, and he definitely doesn't shave his head.

Martyr, or J:3:3 or Marty, as Abby calls him, is the personification of innocence and goodness. His nickname comes from always trying to help his bullied fellow Jasons, particularly the 'broken' ones (copies that didn't turn out alright, with missing/misplaced limbs or mental problems).

Wait a second. Cute, smart and kind-hearted? A real martyr in every sense of the word?
Needless to say, I loved him on the spot.

It was so refreshing and interesting to see how he reacted to everything that was new to him (which means: pretty much everything), to being close to Abby, the first girl he had real contact with, the food, the colorful clothes, the TV, the cars... it was funny and sad.

Now, about Abby. I didn't like her much. I don't know, I just didn't think much of her. LOL. No, I'm not jealous. (not much). I just found myself disagreeing with her way too often. And I don't mean just about the religious stuff, but about her actions too. Something I did like about her was her love for CSI. LOL. And her good taste in boys. ;)

All in all, this was a very engaging book. You just have to know what happens next. You want the villain to finally get what he deserves already, and you want the couple to end up together, and you feel sorry for the third part of the triangle.

The whole book was a way to discuss medicine trials for disease cures and animal/human/embryo testing and religious views on it. I won't babble on about my opinions on those here, because that's not what a book review is for, but I do have to say that cloning yourself dozens of times just so you can 'kill' yourself and use your own organs to save yourself... maybe not the best idea. If you do know what I mean. LOL

Anyway, embryonic stem cell research doesn't sound so bad after all, now does it? :P Scientists are being able to recreate single organs for those who need them, no clones included. Okay, okay, I already promised myself I wouldn't make a speech here, so I'll control myself. But I have to say something:

Not ALL science is bad, but like everything else in this world, it needs boundaries.

If you like young adult science fiction with polemic religious subjects, this is your book.

We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver - Review

We Need to Talk About Kevin

by Lionel Shriver

The gripping international bestseller about motherhood gone awry.

Eva never really wanted to be a mother and certainly not the mother of the unlovable boy who murdered seven of his fellow high school students, a cafeteria worker, and a much-adored teacher who tried to befriend him, all two days before his sixteenth birthday. Now, two years later, it is time for her to come to terms with marriage, career, family, parenthood, and Kevin's horrific rampage in a series of startlingly direct correspondences with her estranged husband, Franklin. Uneasy with the sacrifices and social demotion of motherhood from the start, Eva fears that her alarming dislike for her own son may be responsible for driving him so nihilistically off the rails.

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My Review:

This was a very difficult book to review. I had so many conflict emotions while reading it, I was unsure what to say about it.

The first half of the book didn't go down very well, I constantly found myself putting the book down, and then going back and forth... I was THIS close to giving it up completely, but eventually I got used to the narrative from the mother's, Eva, point of view. An then I started to really enjoy it. That's the secret for this book, don't give up, it gets better. LOL

The book is a mixture of drama and horror, with small sprinkles of hope...

Kevin's life was incredibly... well, strange. He was strange from the beginning, but that's what made him so interesting. The way his mother describes him is very intimate, captivating and somewhat terrifying.

His coldness and heartlessness as a human being, very well displayed in certain terrible acts involving animals and people, brought to my fan girl's mind some of Stephen King's evilest characters ever.

The father's ignorance and denial were very unnerving. Okay, maybe it was just his way of coping, some people might say, I don't know. But in my oppinion, he could have been more supportive.

The little sister, the poor thing, was pitiful AND aggravating at the same time. It's hard for me to picture all she went throught just by this narrative alone, but I still can't accept how she never told anyone. Well, I also can't blame her, her brother must have terrorized her so bad, the poor thing was traumatized. (See? This is what I meant by mixed feelings. I feel sorry and mad at the same time.)

But, of course, the main focus was Kevin's relationship (?) with his mother. It had many highs and lows, and sometimes things looked like they would get better... but we know how it all ends.

A great book to try and understand the origins of a monster. It made me rethink my plans on having children in the future.