Showing posts with label Example. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Example. Show all posts

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Dads' Advice on Fatherhood: Part 5 - Example


"Example is everything.  Children will naturally love their mothers but copy their fathers." 

A number of fathers whom I spoke to gave similar advice when I asked for advice on being a father. 

A story was shared by Fr Larry Richards about the future Pope John-Paul II when he was a child. He woke up in the middle of the night and found his father on his knees praying. What would your children find you doing?  This is certainly a challenge. I think I'd be more likely to be surfing BBC news for the latest Arsenal results - or possibly thinking up an amusing response to a comment on my favourite blog.

At university a fellow student was in the minority of those who would go to Mass each week and took her faith seriously. I once asked her why this was and she said that when they went to Mass as a family, her father would be completely transfixed by what was happening around him - focused on the altar and not chatting or letting his mind wander - this is something that she could tell even as a child. 

One father said to me: "the best “parenting advice” that I can give a father is that your son will “catch” more behaviour than you “teach” – because as we all know, actions speak louder than words, and this is never more true than in the home.  Your son will constantly be watching you – constantly be copying you (especially when they are smaller – boys want to be just like their dads when they grow up) – so make sure what he is copying is worth copying.  You can “say” whatever you want to a child, but unless your words and teachings are back up with actions (living out the words) the lessons will be lost – scripture talks about this when God calls us (as fathers) to teach His commandments to our children – talk to them, repeat them, when you are sitting at home, when you are walking along the road, when you lie down and when you get up – in other words – teach your son about God (and God’s commandments and God’s wisdom) by living out God’s commandments."

These words were echoed more succinctly: "Know that your son is always - and always will be - watching your every behaviour and listening to your every word. They are great imitators. Model the life you want him to live. The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world."

One of the most amazing fathers I know gave as the core advice to me: "It's simple, always give a good example.  What you ask of your children you must do yourself."
 

Sunday, November 03, 2013

Dads' Advice on Fatherhood - Seven things to know


When my son was born almost two weeks ago he didn't come with an instruction manual - foreseeing this, I took the precaution of asking a dozen Christian fathers whom I respect, their advice on daddyhood and the following were overwhelmingly the strongest responses I received.



Seven things to know about being a Dad to a son (according to amazing Dads I know) -

1.  Protect your marriage: Love your wife and make her, not just your child your priority after Christ.

2.  Unconditional love: Reassure your child of your unconditional love regularly and let him know you're proud of him.

3.  Pray for them: Spend time alone and with your wife and other friends praying for your child.

4.  Pray with them: Make time where possible to pray with each child individually or as a family.

5.  Set a good example: Be the man you wish your child to be. Children will naturally love their mothers but copy their fathers.

6.  Discipline: Set boundaries, ensure he knows what is and isn't acceptable.

7.  Authenticity: Be real - don't pretend - apologise when you screw up.


I treasure the advice that these people shared with me - some of it surprised me and some didn't - but  these are real men whom I have seen guiding and actively taking a part in their children's lives - and had the generosity and courage to share their views with me.

All of the above will soon turn into links where I share in greater depth what was shared with me but in the meantime I shall leave you with "I've been watching you" by Rodney Atkins which illustrates all seven of the above but especially setting an example and prayer: YouTube: I've been Watching You 

Monday, October 07, 2013

Become a saint or go to Hell

Do not watch this video.

Do not watch this video unless you're prepared to be challenged and changed:


Fr Larry Richards is like a spiritual coach who drives men to the next level. He  reminds me of Mickey in the Rocky films - screaming at him to get up when he's knocked over, battered, bruised and bloodied. 


You may not be brave enough to watch this but I hope that if you do, you will find it uncomfortable - and in the same way that Rocky was exhausted but somehow got up and fought another round - you seize the moment and allow these strong words to impact your life. 

Fr Larry is hard hitting, the words are strong and he doesn't hold back - if you don't have an hour right now just watch the last ten minutes. 

His message to men? Become a saint - or go to Hell.