The Sunday Funnies

Every year my kids participate in a swim meet in Park City.

We all love it...and not entirely because of the swimming...but the extracurricular events that are available afterwards.

{Think: Shopping. Eating. and
Good Times.}

This past weekend was the Park City meet, and it did not disappoint.

The kids swam great on Friday and that evening we headed to Park City's main street to whoop it up with the night crowd.

We ate at a fun little pizza place called the
Red Banjo Pizza.

{I'm pretty sure we saw some famous people there too, because there was a group of pizza patrons wearing sunglasses...while they ate. And they looked pretty incognito, if you ask me.}

In other news, as the kids admired the wall covered in banjos, they said, "Mom, this totally looks like something you would do!"

So, because of this quirky wall......
My decorating skills have now been likened to a cheap pizza parlour's broken banjo wall.

Nice.

And now for the rest of the story...

As El Jefe was ordering our pizzas (the Red Banjo & the Little Belle--delicious by the way), he asked,
"Do you guys do pictures?"

The look on the kids' faces were priceless.

Horrified and puzzled comes to mind.

Apparently, they thought he was asking if our ski instructor/waiter would be interested in taking our formal picture.

While we ate? Hmmm. An interesting concept.

And here all El Jefe really wanted to know was if they sold drinks in pitchers...cuz all that swim-watchin' had made us thirsty.

Hence, the good times.

(the shopping came after the meet on
Saturday...and it was divine).

A Ferret's Life for Me

For the past month, Savvy has been obsessed with getting a ferret. She just loves going to Petco to look at them.

I find them absolutely disgusting.


With her birthday approaching quickly, our daily conversations have gone a bit like this:

Savvy: "Mom, I really, really want a ferret for my birthday."

Me: "Ooh! No! They are so gross!"

Savvy: "Please. I will be so good. I'll practice the violin every day. And I'll wear whatever you tell me to wear. And you can even put my hair in pigtails if you want."

Me: "No. It's not worth it. A ferret is way too stinky...and besides it would probably eat poor Elvis."

Savvy: "Sigh. Okay."

And just when I think I've crushed her hopes and dreams of getting a ferret, the conversation starts over the next day.

So, last week when she told me she wanted to be a ferret for Halloween, I knew she needed a costume intervention.

The Internet seemed like a good place to go.

We went to the Family Fun website, and I told her I would make her ANYTHING on this website she wanted to be.

As we scrolled through the list, we both saw at the same time "Boxers".

We looked at each other and started giggling. Then we clicked on it to see how they could possibly make a costume look like men's boxers...on a family website.

Let's just say it wasn't this that we saw.


It wasn't this either.



But, it was this.

{We giggled-snorted and laughed till we cried.}

I definitely should've taken this as a sign that this costume looking excursion was not going to be a productive one.

But, we pressed forward.

"How bout a bubble bather?" I asked.

"Nah," she said.

"A Jellyfish?"

"Nah."

"Maybe I could be the big, bad wolf?" she said.

Really.

We looked at the costume and she said he wasn't the right color.

There were over a hundred costumes to look at, and she looked at a total of 3 costumes after the wolf: a "Bag of Gross-eries", "Alien Encounter" and a "Little Bearded Gnome".

No princess costumes for this girl.

Finally, we had come to the end of the list.

She said, "Well. If you don't want me to be a ferret. Maybe I could be a devil-ferret?"

She wasn't kidding.

She honestly thought I would like a devil-ferret alternative.

If only she had known, she had actually gone from bad to worse.

That ferret costume is starting to look pretty good now.

A Child's Prayer

Auzy is a very thoughtful pray-er. His night time prayers are always a delight to listen to.

Tonight's dinner prayer did not disappoint.

He prayed that dad would return home safely from work, that the house wouldn't be so hot, that Elvis would be a nice cat...but my favorite quote from Austin's dinner prayer?

"We're thankful for mom that she could take time from her busy life and make us dinner."

I truly love that boy.

{This totally made up for the teasing spree he went on this afternoon}

Chaperoning Crisis Averted, Like Totally

Last week, El Jefe decided it would be quite hilarious to tell our eldest daughter that we were to be chaperones at the upcoming tri-stake dance.

She was beyond mortified.

She wanted to die.

She thought her life would end.

It was all very dramatic.

Then, El Jefe broke out his sweet 80's dance moves...and I think her heart stopped for just a second.

"Dad! You can't be serious! Chaperones do not dance at dances!" she screamed.

Finally, Savvy said, "Jordyn...I can't believe you believe dad. He's smiling. It's not true."

It was a fun little trick...that I assumed she knew was a joke. I mean, her 10 year old sister had it figured out.

So, I kind of forgot about the whole thing, until Saturday night.

The dance started at eight...and Jordyn was nowhere in sight. I figured she must be going to be fashionably late. {Because nobody goes at the time it starts...except maybe the chaperones.}

Around 8:30 pm, I was backing out of the garage and she flagged me down.

"Aren't you and dad chaperoning the dance?" she asked.

"No. That was just a joke," I said, laughing.

"Are you kidding me? Oh! Thank goodness! Let's go Katie," she said to her friend.

{Apparently, the poor thing had been having heart palpitations over the chaperoning business for the past week.}

An Epilogue

ep·i·logue: n. 1. A short addition or concluding section at the end of a literary work, often dealing with the future of its characters. Also called afterword.

This past weekend, Savvy was trying to finish her book, "The Tygrine Cat" so she could work on her book report which is due next week.

On Saturday, I asked her how many pages the book had and she told me 242 pages . On Sunday, I asked her to remind me how many pages the book had and she informed me that she only had to read 235 pages.

"How did the number of pages in your book change?" I asked.

"Because I figured out that seven of those pages were the epilog-you. And I never read the epilog-you," she answered.

"Savvy, first of all, it's not 'epilog-you.' It's
'ep-i-log'," I said. "And second, you have to read the epilogue. It sums everything up, ties it all together and sometimes tells you about what happens in the future to the characters in your book. It's the best part."

(Admittedly, sometimes when I am reading a really boring book...I will skip to the end--read the last chapter and the epilogue if there is one. I like to call it book closure.)

"So do I really have to read the epilog-you?" she asked.

"Yes," I said. "You need the closure that only the epilogue provides."

{Enter. Puzzled look here.}

"Okay, mom?" she said.

{They're so obedient at age 10. The teenager would've likely told me I was a geek.}

The Sunday Funnies

On Friday, I had to make a quick stop at Smith's to pick up some last minute things a 24 pack of diet coke for our craft night.

Savvy was with me and as we were leaving the store she noticed a big display of
Monster Energy Drink.

"Wow! That's a lot of alcohol," she said.

"That's not alcohol. It's an energy drink," I said.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"It's a drink that revs you all up and makes you hyper," I said.

"Ohhhh. So it's like catnip?" she asked.

{This kid has a one track kitty mind.}

Geneology...we're not doing it

Last week, Auzy came home and wanted me to google our family tree.

"We don't need to google it," I said. "I have it in a file right here."

Of course, then I remembered that El Jefe had reorganized all of our files..and I had no idea where he had filed it.

All afternoon and evening, Auzy begged me, "Please find our family tree, please-oh-please."

"Auzy," I asked. "Why all of a sudden are you interested in our family tree?"

"Because lately everyone has been talking about all the famous people they are related to..and I wanna know what famous people I am related to," he said.

"I can tell you right now we aren't related to anyone famous," I said.

"Oh great," he said, very sadly.

Then I asked him what famous people his friends were related to.

"Well Cardon's uncle started the Creamies ice cream company and Connor's great-great-great (someone) killed Abraham Lincoln," he said.

"Sheesh, you don't want to be related to a murderer do you?" I asked.

"Sure," he said. "If it meant I'd be related to someone famous."

"Auz. I think you are going to have to step up and be the famous one in our family," I told him.

"How about if I become a famous comic strip artist?" he asked.

Works for me.

{Especially if it doesn't involve a life sentence.}

A Case Lot Sale Shenanigan

Last week, I took advantage of our friendly, neighborhood Harmons' case lot sale..and bought a case of tomato soup.

I grabbed the top box, loaded it into the cart, and continued on my quick little shopping spree.

When I got home, I noticed that the bottom of the box was full of sugar. It appeared that a bag of sugar had leaked all inside my box.

Jay walked into the kitchen as I placed the box of soup on the cupboard.

"I thought you were just getting a couple of cans of soup?" she said.

"It was on sale," I explained. "So, I bought a case. And wouldn't you know it...the soup that I buy is the only one full of sugar."

"Mom," she laughed. "What are you talking about? I'm sure there is the same amount of sugar in each can of soup."

Then I started to laugh. "No, look inside the box. It is full of sugar," I explained.

I think that Harmons case-lot ads should say:

Spreading Joy. One Case at a Time.

The Sunday Funnies

Ever since school started, Jay has begged me to pick her up in the parking lot of her school...rather than sit in the line and make her wait.

The problem is that Savvy and Auzy get picked up on the same campus as Jay and they are always late coming over.

Plus, Jay's cell phone is broke--so there is no way to get a hold of her when I arrive.

As a result, I have never given into her request.

Last week, the twins had band practice till 4 pm.

Since the line was quite long, I decided to try Jay's little trick.

I pulled into the lot and drove very slowly down the front aisle of cars.

I didn't see her.

Curses.

I approached the end of the aisle and stopped for a car to pass.

Still no Jay.

So, I turned left, drove down the parking lot, and went around the corner to get in line.

As I waited to make a left turn to get in line, I noticed the lady in the car in front of me was sticking her hand out the window and pointing backwards at me.

I had no idea what she was doing.

Crazy lady.

I figured I must've ticked her off somehow it happens.

Hoping she wasn't going to jump out of her car-- and go nuts on me, I got in line and ending up waiting for about ten minutes.

When Jay finally got in the car, she said, "Mom! I can't believe you! Couldn't you hear me knocking?"

"What?" I asked.

"I saw you and knocked on the back window. Just as I was about to open the door..you drove off," she said.

"What the? I promise I didn't see you," I said not wanting to admit I had Keith Urban blasting pretty loud--I mean what kind of safe driving example would that set for my teenager?

"Mom. I totally knocked on the window and when you pulled off--I started chasing you down the parking lot, and around the corner...until I finally gave up," she said.

I was laughing pretty hard by now, "Jordyn! How embarrassing!" I said.

"Tell me about it," she said. "All my friends saw me, and when I came back to wait for you they were all laughing at me."

She was beyond mortified.

Then it hit me the crazy lady wasn't pointing at ME. She was pointing at my crazy daughter chasing crazy me--the entire length of the parking lot.

I don't mean to be redundant...but how embarrassing!

The Tardy Monitor

This morning, we were running a bit late.

As I sped to school, (that 20 mph school zone nearly did me in)--Savvy said, "Oh man! I'm going to be late for school! It's going to be so embarrassing, because I'm the tardy monitor!"

Auzy replied, "I'm guessing it's going to be pretty easy to sweet talk yourself out of a tardy slip."

Just had my morning cry...

The Sunday Funnies

My brother's wife, Joanna, just had a baby a couple of weeks ago.

Every nursing mom needs a breast pump, but one of Joanna's cousins had borrowed hers.

Andy and Jo (who live a couple of hours away) asked my brother Zach if he would meet her cousin and pick it up since they would likely be seeing him before the cousin.

{I know this background info is getting a bit convoluted...but bear with me}

Zach had never met Joanna's cousin, but was told they'd be driving a silver car.

The meeting place was the Lowe's parking lot.

As he arrived in the parking lot, he noticed a couple standing outside of a silver car. He pulled up and said, "Are you waiting for someone?"

"Yes," they said.

"Do you have a breast pump for me?" Zach asked.

"Ummmm. Noooo," they answered.

{Really? Zach? Really?}

"Oh sorry," Zach said, and drove off.

{He eventually found her cousins...but thankfully changed his approach to, "Are you Joanna's cousins?"}

They've Got Personality

I just had to share Auzy and Savvy's homework from last night...they wrote personality poems. It's so cute to see how they see themselves.

Auzy

Funny, fast, smart;

Brother of jay and savvy;

Lover of soccer, swimming, and video games;

Who feels happy, confused, and sad on Mondays;

Who needs food, water, and shelter to live;

Who admires my mom, my dad, and me;

Who fears deep water, sharks, and squid;

Who would like to see atlantis, mars, and Jupiter;

Who likes to wear shorts, pants, and hats;

Who finds happiness in root beer, skittles, and sleep;

Resident of Utah

Auzy

Savvy

Funny, blonde, cool;

Daughter of Mom and Dad;

Sister of Jay and Auzy;

Lover of cats, dogs, and ferrets

Who feels happy, scared, and excited

Who needs money, dogs, and ferrets

Who admires pets, parents, and siblings

Who fears spiders, vampires, and sharks

Who would like to see a cheetah, the world’s fastest

swimmer, and the biggest donut

Who likes to wear free dress, P.J.’s, and Converse shoes

Who finds happiness in my cat, my Dad, and my brother

Resident of Utah

Savvy

My Blog had a Baby...Welcome Little One

At the first of the year, my friend and I decided we had tons of time on our hands and we should start up a card swapping group.

It has been so much fun...it's like Christmas every month when I look at that brand new batch of cute cards.

Sad to say...the cute cards I have received have been used few and far between...mostly because I refuse to part with them. They are just too darling to give away. How sad is that?

SO, I came up with a shenanigan of an idea to start a blog with pictures of all the cards I've received in my card group...I'm hoping that this will allow me the closure I need to finally use some of these fab cards.

So far, we have done thank you's, a couple of birthdays, mom and dad's day, baby gift tags..and in a couple of days we'll be getting some darling (I'm sure) sassy blank cards. I can't wait to see the creativity there (and no, mine are still not finished yet)!

So, click on over if you'd like to see some sweet cards...oh and did I mention the ladies in our card swap are super creative?

PS If you have some cards of your own you'd like to share...email me and I'll add you onto the blog.


PPS Have you seen this awesome clip from President Uchtdorf's talk last General Relief Society Broadcast? It's all about creativity, folks.

The Calling that Never Was

My cousin, Amy, posted the funniest thing about her latest and greatest calling as enrichment leader. She held this calling for a total of one enrichment night...in which she featured her skills of couponing. I'm still laughing. You must click over and read about her couponing adventures as Enrichment Leader.

Of course, it reminded me of the shortest lived calling I ever had.

So, then I preceded to leave the longest stinkin' comment ever...so long that it turned into a blog post..Sorry Amy! (I'm still thinking about going over there and deleting it...it's kind of like when a prayer at church turns into a talk...not good.)

And now for the rest of the story.

When Jay was just a toddler, I got called to be the primary pianist.

Before I go any further, it is important for you to understand that this is my dream calling. For one, you get to sit and listen to the kids sing...how tender is that?

Plus, you do not have to break a sweat..unlike the poor chorister. {I've been the chorister and its a freakin' aerobic workout week in and week out.}

Also, did you know that kids do not judge? How beautiful would that be? If you mess up it is okay by them...and half the time they are singing too loud to care what the pianist is playing.

Finally, you are hidden by the piano for two whole hours. There is a whole lot of diet coke you can be swiggin' during that time. I'm totally kidding. Mostly.

Anyway, on this fateful Sunday after church, I got called to be the primary pianist. I raved on and on to the 2nd counselor in the bishopric about the gloriousness of my new calling. I was thrilled! I couldn't believe my good fortune.

Sunday evening, the Bishop called me AND Jeff back to his office. I figured Jeff was getting a new calling, he had been the membership clerk for a while.

I found out quickly that yes, Jeff, was getting a new calling.

But, so was I!

The Bishop called us to be the new Nursery Leaders.

"But, Bishop," I said. "I just got called to be the primary pianist...and it's my dream come true."

"Yes, I know. But the couple we called to be the nursery leaders told us no...and we've decided we need you there instead," he said.

"So, you're reneging on my primary pianist calling? Do you know its my dream calling?" I asked.

{I don't think he liked the word "reneg" but he agreed that yes, he was reneging.}

Now this wasn't one of my finer moments..but I told the Bishop that before I said yes, he HAD to tell me the names of the couple who had the nerve to say no...so I could give them the stink-eye on Sunday I am pretty sure I did not admit to the stink eye part.

And he told me!

And I gave them the stink-eye for a whole month.

And I've never been called to be the primary pianist since.

{I'm pretty sure it's because of that stink eye.}

School Days and Shenanigans

Monday started a new school year for my awesome 5th graders (Savvy and Auzy) and my 'growing up to way to fast' 9th grader (Jordyn).

Being older and wiser, this year's (traditional) first day of school picture ought to be a piece of cake...except we are kind of in a hurry because I also have my first day of school with some new fourth graders.

So come on kids, cooperate!

Oh yay! Cute picture on the first try...except it's in front of a dying bush and someone left out their dang scooter!

Curses!

Did I mention we don't have time for these kind of shenanigans?

Okay. Move over here to these overgrown
luscious bushes...and smile.

For the love, Savvy. Look at the camera!


Sigh. Auzy, would it be possible for you to move your hand?

C'mon kids...Petal has 4 boys and they started taking pic's after us and finished before us!


Really Savvy? Really?


Here's to a happy 2009-10 school year...hopefully yours will be
more successful than my
amateur photo shoot...

Solve this Riddle

Ponder this: If a blogger falls in a forest (hence no blogging), and no one is around to hear her, does she still experience shenanigans?

Oh yeah!

I feel like I've fallen off the face of the earth with my unintentional summer blog break.

I have tried to keep up with my google reader on all my favorite blogs.

Alas, there have been too many shenanigans abounding to be a good blogger.

But, Fall is in the air, schedules are beginning to take form, and I am back to the blogosphere.

Of course, I have many shenanigans to report. Some funny. Some not so funny.

Stay tuned (all two of you...I fear my forest
has shrunk).

Chalkboard Winners

It's High Noon...

And the winners of the pick-a-paint-color chalkboard contest are...


(and you thought Elvis could only open doors...
...he's a cat of many talents).

Drum Roll Please...

Winner #1


Winner #2


{And for those of you who are wondering if I picked my colors for the kitchen and front room...the answer is yes and no. First, I picked it..then I saw it in the night lighting and decided it was too dark. Curses! But, I am at least in the right neighborhood for the color of my dreams. Of course, it might be Christmas till I get er done.}

What the?

Curses!

I missed the chalkboard drawing today!

High noon?

Oops!

Have you ever had one day blend into the next and fall a day behind without even realizing it? That's what happened to me.

Yesterday, I spent all day (7:30-4:30) at the church helping with a funeral.

Naturally, all day today it felt like Monday.

Then my good friend, Teresa, called me and as we chatted she slyly asked, "Who won the chalkboard drawing?"

Oh man!

So, as a reward for my forgetfulness...at high noon tomorrow...I'll do TWO drawings for chalkboards {they will each be unique in their own special way}.

Stayed tuned until tomorrow...at high noon.

Happy Pioneer Day

Shout out to Purple Pleasure

{pictured here with the love of her life, Barney}

Just wanted to give a shout out to our trusty, old van...Purple Pleasure.

Didya know its old purps birthday today?

Yup, 11 years old and still kicking. Who would've ever believed it?

{Surely, not El Jefe, who is STILL driving Purps to work every day.}

Stupid Pet Tricks

Pictures courtesy of my children. I think we have more stinkin' pictures of Elvis on my hard drive than any member of our family...except maybe Jordyn..she is kind of a camera hog.

You know I have a love-hate relationship with our cat, Elvis.

It all started when "Santa" surprised us on Christmas morning a couple of years ago...only Santa didn't realize I grew up in a family of cat haters.

With that being said, I hope you will read the following experience with the knowledge that I am not going to turn this into a cat-lady blog.

But, I just have to share.

The other day the kids were in the front yard weeding. It was a cool morning, so the windows were open. I could hear them yelling at each other to hurry up kindly talking to each other and bonding while they learned the value of work.

Apparently, Elvis could hear them too--because he kept going to the front door and meowing like crazy.

Now, Elvis is an indoor cat. I know this seems like a crime against nature..but so does me owning a cat...so whatev.

I was in the kitchen doing my best to tune out the arguing listen to the kind words being spoken amongst my children, when I heard the front door open.

No wars or rumors of wars followed the opening of the door--so I assumed it was one of the kids trying to pull the old 'sneak in and hide from work' trick.

I walked to the front door and noticed it was ajar. Not a child was in sight.

I also noticed the meowing had stopped.

I walked out onto the porch and said, "Elvis?"

He came skulking around the corner and ran in the house.

At first I thought one of the kids were playing a trick on me, but nope, they were still arguing over who had pulled more weeds.

I shut the door and Elvis started to meow and meow again. Then he started running towards the door and with a leap into the air he tried to open the door. I have a latch type of door knob..and the dang cat almost got it open again!

Are you kidding me?

This explains a lot of things the kids have been blamed for...like leaving doors open, letting Elvis out of his room, and drinking all of my diet coke..{okay so that last one was all me}.

So, what's the best stupid pet
trick you've ever witnessed?

What's Your Favorite Paint Color and a Giveaway

We had tons of rain last month and my neighbor across the street emailed me this cool picture of my house with the message, "Looks like your house is at the end of the rainbow".

I emailed her back and said we were still looking for that pot of gold.

On most days, I really do feel like the end of the rainbow does end in my backyard...{except those times when it looks like a bomb went off inside my house...on those days its more like a tornado warning.}

Now, I'm not saying we live in a mansion...because trust me we have some serious fancies in our neighborhood...we're definitely not one of them. But, our house is perfect for our needs {although the AC and laundry room do leave something to be desired}.

Come this 24th of July weekend we will have lived in our house for four years.

And I've decided four years is a long time to live with boring tan walls. I am sick of it. I need a change! A sprucing up.

So, sometime over the next couple of weeks I am planning on painting a wall in my family room and my kitchen {hopefully El Jefe will be on board}.

This is where the giveaway comes into play...my dear cuz, Jenny, suggested in her last comment that I do a chalkboard giveaway. I thought it was a great idea.

All you have to do to enter to win a chalkboard is tell me YOUR all-time-favorite-never-fail paint color {brand and name of the paint color}.

So, come on! Even if you've never commented before--I'd love to hear your favorite paint color.

*The drawing will take place Tuesday, July 28th at high noon.

Dinner Tonight? Tangy Cats and Mice

One of the fun crafts I made with my BFF, Mary last month were some cute chalkboards out of plates. It was quite easy and they turned out darling.

The only problem was we used a chalkboard spray paint...and since I was too lazy to go outside...I decided to cover my table with newspaper and stay inside to paint.

Did you know there is such a thing as over spray?

So, even though we sprayed very carefully just the one taped off small area...it floated everywhere. Like on the kitchen floor...the chairs, my bench, even the back of the couch.

I'm talking a film of oily, black dust, people. Not fun. Not easy to clean up either.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I bought a cute plate rack to put my new chalkboard on and set it up in my kitchen.

Now, fancy Miss Mary writes the meals for the whole week on hers...cause that's the kind of organized gal she is.

Eventually I'll start that up...when I actually get around to planning a menu before I shop {that new Harmon's on the corner will be the death of me...it is far too easy to just run there for a "few things" and never get all the things I need}.

So, until then everyday I just write down the {dinner} meal of the day. {don't be too impressed sometimes it says "Git yer Own"}.

And almost every day a little elf (we'll call her Savvy), changes the menu to a 'funny joke'.

The other day I wrote "Tangy Pork and Rice" -- an hour later I noticed it said, "Tangy Cats and Mice".

On a "Git yer Own" night she changed it to "Dad on a Stick".

Before we left for a reunion in Idaho this past weekend she wrote, "Idaho Potatoes."

I keep telling her to stop it--because it's MY chalkboard after all.

{Apparently, she hasn't been listening..or more likely she just doesn't care.}

Last night, I finally had my camera handy and took a picture of her latest Dinner Creation. She changed my delicious "Chicken Pot Pie" to "Chicken Pot Fly--with real Flies!"

Appetizin' ain't it?

I think I'll be making that clever girl of mine her own chalkboard.

It's Been THAT Long?

Seriously? It's been so long since I last blogged that I had to sign into my account? Took me three times to remember my password!

Sheesh!

And I thought with school being out I'd have more time for such pleasures.

What I have had more time for is:

cleaning the house with my Cinderella mice,
hanging out with my sis,
crafting with my Bff, having fun
summer visitors, going to
Family Reunions, chasing kids around
from activity to activity...
...especially swim meets, having sleepovers,
cleaning up messes, Facebook,
trying to stay caught up on things of an RS nature,
reading all of YOUR blogs on my google reader,
almost getting murdered at the apt's
the other day ...truly another story for another day,
drinking lots of diet coke,
holding my cute nephews,
watching Jay qualify for state swim in 4 events,
perfected painting sparkle toes on Jay and her BFF,
waiting for my new nephew to be born,
injured my back {at the temple no less},
went to Webelos scout camp, tried to
write the great American novel,
ate a new favorite dessert,
witnessed a miracle.


So what have you been
up to this summer?

The Sunday Funnies

Yesterday, I drove down to my sis-in-law's baby shower in my old home town...Oak City or the OC as my brothers have nicknamed it.

Somehow, my dad got schnookered into taking Savvy and her cousin Syd on a four wheeler ride.

They drove all over town, had a great time, and came home smelling like a campfire...mostly due to the happenings at one of the neighbors' weed burning parties.

When they got back, my dad was chuckling and shaking his head.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"While we were on our ride, Savvy yelled as loud as she could...'Grandpa! Make sure you drive by the cat lady's house!' We happened to be driving by the cat lady's house...and they were sitting out on their front porch and heard every word," he said.

Me-ow!

{Truth be told, it is Savvy's goal in life to be a cat lady with hundreds of cats}.

Lost in the Translation

Today I took Jay and her friend shopping for some last minute snickadees before youth conference.

In our travels, we stopped at Aeropostale to snag a couple of t-shirts and we happened upon their clearance.

They had jeans for $6!

{Of course, the catch was you had to be a Size 0 Short or a 14/16 Short.}

Feeling extra lucky, I ended up finding a pair of jeans that said "half" regular.

Jay normally wears a Size 1. But, I asked her if she wanted to try on the "half" size to see if they would fit. {I thought it was pretty unusual that they would make a size in between a 0 and a 1.}

"Mom," she said. "That isn't a half size--it's a size one slash two."

Sheesh!

But honestly, what's a girl to think when they put a 1/2 on the size sticker?

Family Home Evening

Tonight swim team practice got canceled due to bad weather.

This meant I finally had the kids home on a
Monday eve..so I put them to work.

I told the three of them they were in charge of every aspect of family home evening (except I'd do the refreshments).

Generally, when any of my kids are in charge of family night, it will either be a movie or some sort of game. So, I made the stipulation that there must be a
spiritual thought involved.

Apparently, they really wanted to play "Life". So, they orchestrated a FHE around it.

Jay narrated the creation from Genesis--whilst Savvy and Auzy held up homemade pictures.

I especially loved Auzy's rendition of Day 3-- does anybody else notice how earth looks an awful lot like Bikini Bottom (Spongebob Squarepants' domain)?


To-may-to, To-mah-to?

After the lesson, we played "Life" and I discovered some interesting tidbits.

#1 Auzy wants to name his children
Spongebob and Patrick.

#2 Savvy is planning on marrying a cat.


#3 The man on the $50,000 bill of Life looks a lot like Lorenzo Snow.

#4 Jay always took the pathway that earned her
more babies...not more money.

#5 I always took the pathway that earned me more money hey, I've already had kids and they aren't cheap

#6 Jay won the game by $100,000--and
boy howdy did she rub in the fact that I failed to follow one of the basic tenets from our FHE lesson...
multiply and replenish the earth.

The Sunday Funnies

Yesterday, our family spent most of the day at a swim meet. All three of the kids swam in it, and each of them improved their times in most of their events.

Successful swim meets involve lots of fun snacks, heavy duty sunscreen have you seen the fair skin on my kiddies? and plenty of liquid.

○ Snacks? Check. {bagels with cream cheese, crackers, sunflower seeds, and chex mix}

○Liquid? Check. {Gatorade, Diet Coke and Agua}

○Sunscreen? Oops! No check.

Being that this was our first outdoor swim meet of the year--and I am used to the indoor meets--I neglected to apply {or even bring} sunscreen.

El Jefe came to the rescue--and paid top dollar for a small tube of creamy, white sunscreen.

I slathered those fair-skinned kids of mine up like there was no tomorrow.

Shortly after the slathering, Savvy was talking to one of her coaches. He gave her his advice for her
upcoming race, and then told her she needed to
rub in the sunscreen on her leg.

"But, I didn't put sunscreen on my legs," she said, as she started rubbing it in.

Then she smelled her hand.

"Ewwww! This isn't sunscreen! It's cream cheese!"
she yelled.

Sheesh!

{A quick dip into the pool
remedied the issue.}

A Wednesday Funny

On Friday, our family was able to go to the conference center and watch Jay participate in a youth temple celebration--in honor of our new Draper Temple being built.

This was a once in a lifetime experience for her and we were so excited she had the chance to participate (even if our seats were way up in the balcony).

Just before the program began, President Monson entered the room with President Eyring and other general authorities.

The thousands of people who filled the conference center stood to show our respect and love for him.

I had a tear in my eye as I watched the prophet enter the enormous room and give a little wave.

And then I looked at Auzy who had his
hand over his heart.

In all seriousness, he whispered to me,
"Are we going to say the
pledge of allegiance now?"

Great minds...

Disclaimer: It's important to understand that I spent an hour this afternoon running/walking in the Jogapalooza at my kids school today...so I was a little distracted, hot, tired, dehydrated, loopy...you get the point.

On the way home from work today, I debated on whether I should call my sweet, sissy first...or check my messages at my house.

I decided to call my sissy.

It rang and rang and went to her voicemail.

Thinking I must have called my voicemail by mistake {I mean, where would she be in my time of need?}, I pressed the number necessary to check my messages.

The operator said, "Invalid entry."

Still thinking I was calling my own voicemail, I hit a different button {my cell phone and home phone use two different numbers to get to the voicemail menu--but sometimes I mix up the two}.

This time it worked and the operator asked me for my password--which I entered.

And the messages began to play.

The first was a message from a grandma whose voice I didn't recognize. She sang the cutest song in my ear, "Where oh where have my grandchildren gone, oh where oh where can they be...?"

Just as I was about to hang up out of confuzzlement...a message from my mom came on. "Where are you? Call me on my cell," she said.

I figured it must be the right voicemail and the poor ole' grandma got confused on who she was calling.

The message that finally clued me in that I had spent way too much time in the sun today said, "Jill...I just wanted to let you know what a cute and reverent little boy Cole was on Sunday in primary. He answered all the questions and was such a good boy. Tell him that Sister Jones sure was proud of him."

First of all, how sweet is that primary teacher to call and brag on my cute nephew?

Second, what are the odds that my sis and I have the same password to our voicemail?

And third, should I tell my sis about this incident--or continue listening to her cute messages?

Parental Responsiblity? Hah!

As a responsible parent, there are certain expectations you should live up to when interacting with your children.

Not making jokes during scripture reading would be one of those expectations.

Last night, as we read the scriptures, I failed that particular parental responsibility test. But, don't worry...I was punished beyond measure.

Savvy was in the midst of reading Alma 62:14--which says, "And it came to pass that Moroni and Pahoran, leaving a large body of men in the land of Zarahemla, took their march with a large body of men towards the land of Nephihah, being determined to overthrow the Lamanites in that city."

Right after she read the word Nephihah--I sang, "Hah!" It was out before I could stop myself. It was also out much louder than I intended.

I did not realize my kids would start laughing so hard that the reading would stop for a minute or two.

I did not realize that when I tried to pass the buck to my eldest daughter by saying, "Sheesh! Jay! Be respectful during scripture reading!" That nobody would believe it was Jay that did it--and everyone would say, "It was MOM!"

I did not realize that for the rest of the chapter every time Nephihah was read all three of the chillin's would sing a very loud "HAH!"

To illustrate my crime and punishment:

Verse 18 read, "And it came to pass that when they had sent them away they pursued their march towards the land of Nephihah."

Children in Unison, "HAH!"

Verse 18 continued, "And it came to pass that when they had come to the city of Nephihah..."

Children in Unison, "HAH!"

El Jefe looked at me and said, "Nice one."

Verse 18 continued, "...they did pitch their tents in the plains of Nephihah..."

Children in Unison, "HAH!"

Verse 18 continued, "...which is near the city of Nephihah."

Children in Unison, "HAH!"

But, the most important thing I did not realize?

That there were 52 verses of scripture in this chapter.

Let's just say there was a plenty of Nephihahahing to be had.

So, what irresponsible things have you been teaching your kids lately?
{Perfect parents need not reply.}

Fudge So Good, it'll Send You to the Hospital

A few weeks ago, Petal called and asked if she could borrow some heavy whipping cream. She was making fudge and needed a whole pint of cream instead of just a half pint.

I revealed my deepest, darkest, cooking secret that not only did I NOT have heavy whipping cream....but that I had never purchased whipping cream in my life!

Yes, folks...it's true. Cool whip is all this pretender knows.

Gasp!

I did have quite a genius idea to help Petal in her time need. I have a glorious page in one of my recipe books called "Substitutions for Ingredients". I found the whipping cream substitutions--and gave her the answer to her problem. It involved a little milk and LOTS of butter.

The next day, Petal brought me over a plate of the most delicious fudge I have ever eaten in my life. The secret to her success? Symphony bars.

I ♥ Symphony Bars!

She told me it was so easy to make...but when she started telling me about just cooking it to soft ball stage--I started to hear "blah blah blah". It seemed way over my head.

A couple of weeks later, I started craving Petal's Symphony Fudge something fierce. It seemed kind of rude to call her and ask her to make me some.

So, I got a bee in my bonnet and decided that I should give making the fudge a try. Plus, I needed to bring a snickadee to my brother's birthday celebration...two birds with one stone you see?

As long as I'm confessing...here's another one of my dirty little cooking secrets. I have never made fudge or any other type of candy in my life.

As a matter of fact, I don't even own a candy thermometer. But, in spite of my skill lackage, I got out the ingredients (yes--whipping cream too!) and started the making of the fudge.

Do you know I had to call Petal 3 times in 5 minutes to ask her questions? The fourth time I called her, she took pity on me and ran over to help.

She tutored me in finding the soft ball stage in a cold cup of water. She broke up my Symphony bars into pieces so they could be added in. She stirred whilst I sprayed my pan with Pam.

When we poured it into the pan she told me it was the best looking fudge she had ever seen {she failed to mention it may also be lethal}.

I told her she was my cooking mentor. She told me that the next week we were going to make cream puffs of course this was before the onset of the curse of the GB.

Without further ado...here's the recipe.

Yumma!

Symphony Fudge Delight
{a.k.a Rescue 911 Fudge, a.k.a. Killer Fudge, a.k.a. Widowmaker Fudge, a.k.a. Lethal Weapon Fudge, a.k.a. Not Your Dr.'s Fudge}

4 c. sugar
1 pt. whipping cream
2 large Symphony toffee/almond bars (16 oz.)
2 sticks butter

Directions:

In large pot mix the sugar and cream. Stir well and bring to a boil.
While boiling add two sticks of softened butter. Do not touch the sides or bottom of pan while stirring in the butter.

Boil to the soft-ball stage (230 degrees).
Add Symphony bars and stir until melted (be sure to break up the Symphony bars into large pieces before adding them in).
Pour into a greased 9X13 pan and chill for 5-6 hours

**Disclaimer: Please consult your doctor before partaking of this fudge.

I ♥ Coldplay, Taylor Swift, and Jon Schmidt

One of my friends sent me the link to this
fabulous You Tube video!

I ♥ it much. Do you?

The Case of the GB Malfunction

For the past couple of weeks, I've reflected on what could've possibly set my gallbladder to its demise.

Clues:

It started the Tuesday after Women's Conference which by the way I haven't blogged about because I've been too busy focusing on my stinking GB!

It started the Tuesday after I started wearing Spanx which I haven't done since said GB was removed...stitches you know.

It started the Tuesday after I indulged {and indulged and indulged some more} in the most delectable home made fudge evah!
A fudgy sidenote: I made the most glorious "Symphony Fudge" recipe (which I received from my BFF, Petal). I decided to make said fudge to bring to my brother's birthday celebration on the Sunday after WC. It is soooo rich and there was soooo much food...that not much was eaten. I took it upon myself to not let that delicacy go to waste. "Waste not, want not," as they say. I'll post the recipe in due time.

Brilliant Deduction:

Tuesdays
+
Spanx
+
Fudgy Delight
+
WC Indulgences

a GB malfunction of ER proportions

{Of course, with that pesky GB out of the way...I can wear all the spanx I want, party at the WC all I want, and eat all the fudgy goodness my heart desires}