20 Years!!!!: A Heartfelt Thank You and 'See Ya Later'!!!

Hey everyone! You won't believe this, but today's post marks literally 20 years since I first kicked off this blog back in 2004, when I was studying in Australia!! Waaaat?! Isn't that crazy?! Check out the very, very first post, "Sleeves Rolled Up and Here We Go..." HERE.

So my plan for a while now has been for this blog to come to a close on this date, Aug 4, 2024, which is why I'm posting this "final" sharing. BUT. This year, as evidenced in previous posts, has been a pretty blah one, complete with health issues (ongoing as I type) and a lack of creativity. It's not the most joyous or momentous way to end a two-decade-old platform. I wish I'd had more celebratory stuff to share as we approached this date, and had been able to share greater achievements in general (though this is entirely in the eye of the beholder, i.e. I don't think I've accomplished all that much over the past 20 years in the grand scheme of things, though others might say I'm selling myself short, and that this isn't so). 

The point is... I'm not entirely sure this WILL be the end of the blog. I'd like to keep it open for those instances when I have something important, meaningful or momentous to share. But I don't want to keep applying pressure on myself to keep this blog alive or updated, either. In today's social media world, it's increasingly irrelevant to have a blog like this... but then again, I'm currently off FB and rather inactive on Insta, so... I dunno? LOL.

I guess what I'm trying to conclude is that this is unofficially the end of Madcap Memoirs of a Malaysian Musicmaker (and its various titular iterations over the decades)... but officially? Let's never say never, eh? 

Thanks for being with me! And do ignore my tatty sleeping shirt!

So with this, I'd like to say a huge and heartfelt THANK YOU to the few (one? two?) or you who actually read this blog, and say "ta ta for now"... it's not goodbye, more likely a "see ya later". Until then... please take care of yourselves, stay safe and well, and God bless. Byebye!!!!

Past the Midyear Point Already...

Hey all! Still here... one month later and past the midyear point... not much new to report, sadly, apart from ongoing health (anxiety) issues as well as the return of gastritis, which first cropped up earlier this year, sigh. This has been the crappiest health year. I can only hope and pray things get better over the coming months and into 2025. Please pray for me/wish me luck/send healing vibes, whichever works for you.

In the meantime, I'm still chugging on with work, trying to keep my head down and avoid trouble while keeping my head up to #breaaatheee and stay afloat when it comes to life in general... Thinking about my future and whether getting my own car and my own place again (i.e. renting an apartment) is something feasible, given my money situation and the familial/pet obligations. Time will tell, but I'm increasingly feeling the pull/need to be more independent. I mean, I'm 44, for crying out loud, and feeling like a child at home. But never mind. More on this next time.

Meanwhile, the kittens (Milo and Lipton) are doing well, they've generally adjusted to being here and have begun to show their naughty personalities, jumping and leaping all over the place, wanting to explore more of the house. We'll let them wander and roam in a wider locus eventually, but for now we still have to make sure Tommycat is OK with them; he generally keeps his distance and sometimes runs or hisses at them, having been traumatised by the dominatrix that was Marmalade, LOL. But he's verrry slowly getting accustomed to these new rascals, I think. We'll have to be patient on this front.

Bailey and Kerbie are also generally alright with the kittens - Kerbie especially - although Bailey does still tend to get overexcited, which sends the kittens into a tizzy. But all in all, I think they're doing OK. As for Bailey's allergies, which I mentioned in my last post, it's... well, stable. He's on a special hypoallergenic diet and an anti-itch med, Apoquel, every two days, so... if this is the way it's gotta be, I guess this is the way it's gotta be. Sigh. Life, eh? See what I mean about crappy health year? Oy.

Anyway, I wish I had more to update y'all about, but it's been same ol', same ol'. I mean, I've begun marathoning "The Golden Girls", if that interests anyone, HAHAHA. Sigh. "Ma!" If you're a fan, you'd get it. And oh yeah, I've also begun composition work for a new commissioned project, but sadly it's a bit hard to focus now that music-making is no longer my full-time job, and work is rather full on, and life is just overwhelming overall, and I'm feeling pretty burnt out. But we just keep chugging on, don't we? Yes we do. #breaaatheee

Okay lah, that's all for now. I leave you with these cute pics of the kittens snuggling. Lipton is the pink bell, Milo is the blue (snuggling and cuddling his sister). I don't have many nice pics of them together because they jump around or move SO quickly that most pics are a blur... but y'know wot, that's a good problem because it means they're generally happy and doing well. But I do have solo pics of them, so I've included them below. Okay, byeeeeee.

Peekaboo!

Hello, Babies

Hi, everyone. Still here! We're inching towards the halfway point of the year already, and I'm really hoping the second half of 2024 turns out to be a much better one than the first. Let's see, we've had health issues, pet dramas, Marmy's farewell, literal teething issues that required three dental visits, a blow-up at work (long story, not my blow-up, but we don't really need to get into it)... and on top of these, Bailey inexplicably began exhibiting severe allergy symptoms, and it's been a bit of an anxiety-inducing nightmare trying to figure out what's going on with him while juggling everything else that has unfolded. Hopefully these things are starting to settle down. Oy vey.

Today Mum and I finally headed over to Elaine's, the fosterer who has been caring for Marmy's kittens since March, to bring home the remaining little ones. Happily three of them have found fur-ever homes, so we brought back Milo and Lipton this afternoon. They're slowly but surely settling in; naturally, they were very confused and anxious at being removed from what has been their home for the past three months, only to be petrified by the two new monsters that are Bailey and Kerbie, LOL. So we ended up putting their entire carrier into the large playpen I'd set up for them, and left them to calm down in their own time.

After dinner (wet food), they seem to have come out of their shell a little bit (or come out of the carrier, at least). Milo, the boy, has been particularly more adventurous and brave; Lipton, his sister, is still very shy and nervous but I've managed to persuade her to leave the safety of the carrier, too. I'm sure they'll get more and more outgoing as they get used to their new surroundings and their new furry friends. I just hope Tommycat will take kindly to them and allow them to live together-gether in harmony. Time will tell!

The large playpen to house what we'd initially thought would be three kittens, now two.

Hiding in the carrier upon first return.

Milo starting to explore and self-soothe.

Milo with his new stuffy friend.

Lipton's still very apprehensive, but boy does she look like her mummy Marmy here.

On a completely different note, Terry, Alisa and I caught up over brunch today, which was nice! 

All the random lurkers in the background.

OK, that's all for now... byeeee!

2 Years Later...

This morning I put down some faux flowers, in addition to a new photo frame a few days ago, to mark two years since we lost our beautiful Ashley.

    

Missing Marmalade (and getting mad)

Hey all. Whew, tough, tough week. Losing Marmalade was devastating but also a relief at the same time, a truly bittersweet experience. But I posted the following on Instagram the other day:

Oh my sweet, sweet girl. What you went through. Chronic kidney disease. Pregnancy. Hypertension. Pyothorax (absess in the lungs). Hypothyroidism. A mass in the lungs that was discovered just yesterday, hours before you said goodbye. Yet, you showed love and strength - patience and perseverance - even through having your babies taken away from you, through multiple blood tests and needle prods, through forced feedings of medications and repeated x-rays.

You exemplified what it means to be a fighter. You were so demanding, so dramatic, such a DIVA, and you didn't hesitate to say "NO-EWL!" when you didn't like something and bat people's hands away with claws outstretched - yet through all this sass you showed your human family a great capacity for love, gratitude, cheekiness, loyalty, and an air that clearly stated: "I'm the Queen around here, deal with it."

How I wish you'd been in perfect health - though if you had been, I probably would never have found you in the back alleys because you likely wouldn't have been abandoned to begin with. Through all the pain, tears, stress and hardships, we were privileged to look after you, sweet Marmalade. Thank you for being with us, and may you join Ashley, Chloe, Jodie, Wendy, Jessie, Jamie, Jacques, Smokey, and all the others who have been waiting for you beyond the Rainbow Bridge. ❤️

Yesterday something happened that was pretty upsetting. A delivery rider dropped off a shoebox... and Dad asked me, "Did you order shoes?" We opened the package and it turned out... it was Marmalade's ashes, death cert and photograph! I was appalled!! I immediately messaged the pet memorial service, Leo's Memorial, which had dealt so courteously and professionally with Ashley a couple of years ago, and gave them a thorough ticking off. THAT was certainly unprofessional and left a sour taste in the mouth, for sure!! They apologised profusely, with the boss even messaging privately to apologise. I'll accept the apology, but I just wanted to share this unpleasant little memory here because... well, it's just NOT on!

NO. Not cool at all, Leo's Memorial Services!!!

Anyway I won't post any further about this unsavoury moment because I'd rather we try to move onward and upward. I love and miss Marmalade very, very much, but I'm so thankful for the time we spent together and am glad, in that weird way, that she's no longer suffering. In the meantime, it's time to try to regain some equilibrium and sense of calm (my hands have begun shaking out of stress and anxiety), and also rest mentally and physically (my root-canal'd tooth began acting up a couple of weeks ago, and as I type this it's just after a dental appointment to get it all cleaned out, ouchy).

Till next time... do take care, everybody. Much love.

Goodbye, sweet sweet Marmalade

7.55pm

Marmalade left us at 7:55pm tonight after weeks, months - nay, years! - of health challenges. She was and is SUCH a fighter, SUCH a strong cat, and even though we are sad beyond words to say goodbye, we are incredibly proud of her and so thankful to have had her in our lives. 

She went in my arms tonight while I was cuddling and singing her her favourite song. "My lady Marmalade, sweet baby Marmalade. I love you, Marmalady, sweet sweet baby, Marmalade." Rest in peace, beautiful princess. We love you. (Recaps of the past few days to come. Maybe. Might not be necessary anymore.)

Roll around and be free, sweet sweet Marma!

Steamboat with the Filmers

Caught up with cousins Andrew, Andrea, and Uncle Ivan and Aunty Mooi for the first time in over a decade, at Andrew's place. We had a lovely steamboat and lots of chatter, which was very, very nice. The older I get, the more I'm realising the importance of extended family (even if immediate family can drive you nuts) and reconnecting. Here's to more such reunions.

There's a lot more to report on Marmalade (who, as of press time, is still with us), but that's gonna take more time and focus and energy, so I'll come back to this when I'm feeling up for it. In the meantime, here's a shot of us tonight gathered at the dining table, pic courtesy of Andrew. A bit blur, but then again, so are we:

The Marmy Saga Continues

Shared the following on Instagram today - it rehashes some of the posts below, but it also covers what's been going on in the past few days. Thank you to those who have helped Marmalade's journey so far, including but not limited to Dr Darina and team at Ohana Vet TTDI; Healing Pets; Yee Vet in SS2; Gasing Vet; Nicole; Elaine; Sandra and Sheela for the contributions and assistance; and Lu Yee.

Here's the Insta post:

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It's been a while since I've posted as I've been on a long social media break. But I wanted to fill everyone in on what's been happening. In December, Marmalade escaped while in heat and got herself knocked up. Yes, she wasn't spayed, largely because we (perhaps ignorantly) thought the risk of neutering when she had kidney disease was too great. She ended up getting bigger, and in February, popped out 5 little kittens!

We thought everything was going well but, at the end of Feb, Marmalade began breathing heavily. Several vet visits later resulted in the diagnosis of hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, a heart condition perhaps brought about by changes in her body owing to pregnancy. She had to start on a regime of meds, which, alas, would affect her milk - making a forced separation of Mum and Babies necessary. To stop lactation, the kitties had to leave the house entirely.

It was heartbreaking but we managed to find two fosterers to take in the 5 kits. Sadly the first fosterer encountered a case of FIP in their home (they have adult cats), so we moved the kittens to a new fosterer.

Meanwhile, Marmalade begin her meds and it seemed she was getting better. But about 3 weeks ago we noticed she was losing weight drastically. A blood test revealed her CKD levels, already high to begin with, had skyrocketed to life-threatening levels. Thus began 2+ weeks of warding, IV drips, fears and worries as we witnessed our darling Bengal grow thinner and thinner and weaker and weaker. A few days ago we even had to contemplate letting her go - but we didn't.

Right now she's in palliative care at home, hooked up to machines and with a feeding tube. She SEEMS to be slowly getting stronger and maybe she'll be with us for a bit longer. But we also realise CKD is irreversible; by prolonging her life, are we just putting off the inevitable? A lot of hard, painful questions with no real answers.

But she's still here. And I guess we'll take it a day at a time. For now, pls send love, prayers etc. Also her kittens are up for adoption (in PJ/KL), so do let me know if you're keen on adding to your family. Till then... take care and much love to all.

44

Happy Birthdaaaay to meeeeeeee.

Not quite the happiest of birthdays... apart from a lovely lunch with Terry at Dave's Deli (thanks, Terry!).

More details to come, pending developments. Stay tuned.

BCAA Nominations 2024!

In non-pets news (thankfully!), guess what? I've been nominated for Best Original Music and Lyrics for last year's production of "Spooks: A New Musical" by Cempaka Performing Arts Company, as well as Best Original Book and Best Original Music & Lyrics for "A Hen-Made Tale" by the KL Shakespeare Players!! Wheeee!

Huge congratulations to CPAC for sweeping a grand total of 13 nods (see below), and KLSP for the additional "Best Of" nomination, which represents the best production in each category. Congrats also to everyone else in the Musical Theatre category, not forgetting those in the Dance, Theatre and Music categories. For the full list of nominees, check out this link. Yippee!