Booing Never Helps Anyone

Dudes! Monday. MONday. MONDAY! My cover reveal happens on MONDAY! I am very excited about this. It makes me want to cheer and dance and sing. I believe I shall do all three.

*cheers*

*dances*

*sings and sings and sings*

I hope you’ll stop by one of the participating blogs and say hi.

On a different subject, I want to talk for a minute about children and sports, and how it’s possible to sabotage a child’s chance for success.

As a parent, I want my kids to do well in their sport of interest. Be that sport basketball, soccer, chess, art, or basket-weaving. I want them to get to do that thing, or play that sport, as often and as well as they can. And I want them to be happy doing it.

To me, that means cheering for them when they do well. And perhaps offering pointers when they don’t. Pointers being constructive criticism of the non-damaging variety. As in: Hey, that was a great shot you took. Maybe next time you can try doing it like…xyz. It does not now, nor will it ever mean yelling profanities, or screaming about what they’ve done wrong or uttering, yelling, or even thinking, the word, “Boo.”

And yet. I know a lot of parents who do. I sit in the stands and hear them booing their kids, and their kids’ teammates and the coach and the referees. And then they start back on the kids. These people do this from the position of sideline spectator, in the presence of other parents and spectators.

I hear them booing their kids and glare at them, and on occasion, manage to restrain myself from punching those parents. Because I believe that booing a person will never, ever, ever, ever help them improve anything. It will never make them better. Ever. Ever. Ever. But it will destroy their self confidence, and possibly sabotage their ability to continue.

I am the parent who yells and cheers and screams for the good things players do, whose goal is to build them up and make them love to play, regardless of whether they win or lose. (And it’s possible I’m the parent who is gaining a reputation for giving the death glare to the above-mentioned spectators. Because, seriously, who would want to keep playing while their own parents are up there booing them off the field?)

The point is, I challenge you all to resolve to be that person (parent or not) who always cheers for the good things, and never boos the mistakes. To my knowledge, booing has never helped anyone.

Thanks for listening. Off my soapbox.

See you Monday!  

Out of the Ashes

Last weekend my family and I went on a day trip that involved driving past an area where a wildfire had recently burned. This same fire destroyed a number of homes, cabins, and other buildings. Among the structures burned was my dad’s cabin.

For my dad and step-mom, this was more than the loss of a beloved vacation spot. It was a place they’d built by hand, from the ground up, with more than fifteen years of weekends and days off dedicated to the creation of the beautiful family getaway. And it was truly, truly beautiful.

As we drove, the areas most affected by the fire were apparent by the blackened stumps and skeletons of trees. But I was surprised to see that even though so much had been burned, there were many places in which we could distinctly see green grass shoots poking through the dark ground.

It reminded me that the cabin is just a place. And while it was a place that meant a lot to my parents, they’re already drafting plans to rebuild. There is nothing left on their property. Not a single tree or plant or building footing. They see this as a chance to start over and do things better the second time. A blank slate. Not a lot of people have opportunities like that.

Bad things happen. They happen to EVERYONE. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you believe or how you act or how hard you try to be the best person you can be—bad things sometimes happen. To all of us. And it’s up to us to decide how we’ll react to those things. If we’ll let them mold us into better, stronger people, or if we’ll let them knock us down, stomp us into the ground to become bitter, angry, and miserable.

When bad things happen, what parts of you will rise out of the ashes?

The Other Side of the Failure Forest

Remember this post when we talked about how success changes people? I’m still thinking about that, and it occurs to me that there’s another side of this coin. Not everyone succeeds. Some people change their goals completely, go in different directions, or flat out fail altogether.

Let’s face it. Just because we want something doesn’t mean we’re supposed to get it. Just because we hope doesn’t make our desired outcome best for us. And just because we fight doesn’t mean we’re going to win, or even that we should.

When this happens, when we adjust our thought processes, daily habits, and goals in order to reorganize the paths our lives are taking, how much does this change us?

I mean, yes, obviously we should (theoretically) be stronger for the lessons we’ve learned along the way. But after we discover that maybe we’re not cut out for that thing for which we’ve been reaching, or maybe that we’ve been reaching in the wrong direction—do you think that changes us too?

We all have a different purpose in life, different talents, different needs and desires and abilities, so it makes total sense that we’d have individual paths to success. And along the way we ALL experience failure of some sort or another.

The question is how will we deal with it?

Will we let our disappointment swallow us whole? Will we let hurt bury us? Will we allow heartache to still our hands and minds and creative process until we work no more?

OR.

Will we rise above it, set a new path, pick ourselves up, and start again?

Once again, I think it comes down to choices. We get to choose how we react to these circumstances. We get to choose what we do next. We get to choose which road to take at the next fork.

Me? I have decided that just because I only see two roads doesn’t mean I can’t forge my own path. And that, my friends, is EXACTLY what I intend to do.

See you on the other side of the forest.

Attracting Positive Energy

The other day, someone paid me a really nice compliment. She told me that good things happen to me because I am always so positive. It was kind of an offhanded comment, which made it mean all the more.

I believe that we attract the same kind of energy we put out, so if we put out positive energy, that is what we will attract—what will be drawn toward us.

For instance, if you believe in the parking fairy, she’ll work for you and make sure you get good parking spaces most of the time. And if you try hard to always see the good in people, situations, and circumstances, good things will come to you, largely because you’re LOOKING for them.

What do you think? Am I crazy, or does positive + positive = WOWZA?

An Offensive Four-Letter Word

Well, okay. Some of you might say it. But you better NEVER say it when I’m in the room. I might have to hurt you.

Can’t.

Seriously? In my opinion, this four-letter-word is worse than the worst curse word. It’s self depreciating, self destructive, and just plain wrong because there is no such thing. So just don’t say it.

If ever you find you need a different word with which to replace this other naughty one, try these instead: Won’t, shouldn’t, am not allowed, illegal, it’s wrong, I’m afraid, incapable, don’t want to.

The truth: 

YOU CAN.

Doesn’t matter what it is, it can be done, and by you. But first you have to believe in yourself.

That is all.

The Power of One

It only takes one person to make a difference.

One voice to change the way someone thinks.

One thought to fuel another voice.

One ounce of strength to draw that first breath.

One agent to say yes to an author.

One publisher to stand behind a book.

One ounce of anger to start a war.

One mean word to destroy a friendship.

One misplaced intention to affect a life.

It only takes one person to make a difference, for good or for bad.

What kind of person will you choose to be? How can you make a difference?

Good News Minute--All Weekend Long

Okay people. If you’re a regular reader, you don’t need to be told what brought this on. If you’re not a regular reader, you should be (for shame!). Scroll down and catch up. Anyway, after everything, I’ve decided it’s officially time for some really good news.

There’s this thing with the ladies in my church where we take a minute to let anyone and everyone share good news or exciting things that have happened during the week. I don’t often speak up, because my brain isn’t fast enough, my hand doesn’t shoot up quick enough, or my tongue is just plain too slow in catching up with my thoughts. My bad.

I believe we create our own moods, our own circumstances even, through positive thought and happy energy. Therefore, I am officially declaring this weekend a good news weekend. I want to hear your good news and know that positive, happy things are happening all over the place in the world. September is going to be a fantabulous month.

I’ll start.

1. Even though the air has become cooler in the last week, the sun is shining bright and warm in Utah, and the sky is clear. I’m driving around with my convertible top down.

2. My husband found my very favorite, and extremely hard to find, dressing / bread-dipper on the shelf at a local grocery store the other day. (Score!)

3. Going to dinner and a movie with my bestest non-writing girlfriends tonight. Can’t WAIT!

4. In just over a week, I will be driving across the country with my husband to take him to a lengthy specialized training course in Quantico, VA. I’ll leave him there and fly home, and yes, we’ll miss him, but this is really great opportunity. And going to be an incredible drive.

**Update** I almost forgot this fun bit of news as well.

5. Tomorrow, I'm going to be hanging out with some of my bestest writing friends at The Kings English for Kirsten White's Paranormalcy event. I love those kinds of days.

Okay, now it’s your turn to share your good news. Starting…NOW!

Silver Lining, Whitneys, and an Author Spotlight

Okay, first of all, my good friend Carolyn gave me a fabulous bloggy award several weeks ago, and somehow, I’ve neglected to acknowledge this fact and pass the award on to other bloggers. I plan to rectify that right now.

See this? It’s my award. It’s beautiful for several reasons, but mostly because it is one of those positive-type awards. It has nothing to do with the appearance of my blog, or how popular I am, but more about how my positive words affect others. To me, that’s something that really matters.

So, thanks Carolyn! I love it. And because of that, I’m going to pass it on to five other bloggers who have in some way helped me find a silver lining when I needed one.

1.      Ali Cross, who faces down adversity with grace and class.

2.      Christine Bryant, who has pushed forward through odds I can’t even fathom.

3.      Jodi Brown, my cousin who is the ultimate survivor. I could only hope to have a fraction of the grace with which you have accepted your circumstances.

4.      L.T. Eliott, who always, always comes through with a positive word and a hug whenever I blog, or see her in person.

5.      Keith Fisher, who always comes through for me, even when others forget. You rock.

Speaking of awards, we’re heading into April, and with the beginning of spring comes conference season and the Whitney Awards. This is definitely one of my favorite times of year. Not only do I get to hang with all my favorite writing peeps, but I get to attend a classy shindig and wear a fabulous dress while people I love and respect are recognized for their exceptional writing abilities.

And I have to say, simply being nominated for this prestigious award is quite an honor. This year, the list of finalists is crammed with awesomesauce. One of those nominees is my good friend, Joyce DiPastena. Joyce’s book, Illuminations of the Heart is a fantastic regional romance that will make your heart sigh while your stomach clutches with suspense. I adore regency era romance, but it’s so hard to find these without gratuitous love scenes. Joyce has managed to give her characters the honor of not only overcoming the odds of marriage laws and customs, but they’re able to do so while retaining their virtue.

And I simply love her style!  Check out the blurb:

“Clothilde.”

He spoke the name on a breath like a prayer. Then he lowered his head and kissed her.

Her heart is lost in that first embrace, her world shaken to its foundations. There is just one problem: her name is not Clothilde. It is Siriol de Calendri.

Trained in the art of illumination in the far-off city of Venice, Siri is directed by her late brother’s will to the county of Poitou in France, where she enters the guardianship of her brother’s friend, Sir Triston de Brielle. Once in Poitou, Siri hopes to find employment in an illuminator’s shop—until Triston unexpectedly snatches her heart away with a kiss.

Triston is a man of quiet honor and courage, but the guilt he carries for the death of his late wife, Clothilde, has left him numb and hesitant to love again. Worse yet, Siri bears an uncanny resemblance to his lost love. Or does she? Her merry laughter and twinkling eyes are very different from his late wife’s shy smiles and quiet ways. Yet when he gazes into Siri’s face, all he sees is Clothilde.

Then Triston’s past returns to threaten them both. Will his tragic life with Clothilde be repeated with Siri? Trapped between the rivalry of the king’s sons on the one hand and a neighbor out for vengeance on the other, Triston realizes it would be safer to send Siri away. But how can he bear to lose her again?

Siri is determined not to be cast off and not to live in another woman’s shadow. She has illuminated many a priceless book with pen and paint. But can her own vibrant spirit illuminate the darkness in Triston’s soul and make his heart beat for her alone?

I loved this book, but have to tell you that if you’re going to read this book, you really first ought to read Joyce’s first book, Loyalty’s Web, which involves some of the same characters. Well, okay, not Siri, but Tristan. They’re both fantastic. You can read my review of Loyalty’s Web here and Illuminations of the Heart here. Joyce, good luck at the Whitneys!

Illuminations of the Heart is available in Deseret Bookstores and some Arizona Barnes & Nobles. It can be ordered directly through Barnes & Noble and Borders bookstores, or ordered online at DeseretBook.com (http://deseretbook.com) Amazon.com (http://www.amazon.com), BarnesandNoble.com (http://www.barnesandnoble.com), and Borders.com (http://www.borders.com).